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TTC A 2012 BABY - THE GRADUATES PART 3!
999 replies
foolserrand · 03/04/2012 08:57
OP posts:
aBundanceOfTime ·
05/04/2012 13:09
< BONG! >
Trope's on her way home! She had a lovely female consultant who has discharged her as long as she has 48 hourly obs and goes back on Tuesday (if she hasn't had fuzzy by then!) to see her to check progress! 
She's going to have sweeps each time too (has just had one before leaving and things felt much looser!).
Also, she was woken up at 3.30am with a big bloody show! Yet more steps in the right direction!
"Can't wait to be back home/in my own bed/on my own sofa and, best of all, using my own toilet that isn't shared with god knows how many other people!"
She's has strict instructions from midwife to have lots of sex.
She'll be able to do her own updates now - even I'm sick of me now!
Davinaaddict ·
05/04/2012 14:51
Fabulous news trope (and thanks for the updates Bun). I'm still holding out for a birth today though
trope ·
05/04/2012 15:51
bong and now we go live to our correspondent, Trope mc Tropeyson, who is on her sofa in her living room!
Hi all!! Thanks so much for all the support/cheerleading/offers to sit on moron doctors! It's been quite a week and I couldn't be more pleased to be home!
This is likely to be long, so get cake and coffee and get comfy! 
The system at our local hospital is nuts and clearly designed to drive you insane as quickly as possible, so you'll just agree to anything so they can rush you through and discharge you (especially when there is a bank holiday coming up and they want to clear the wards as much as they can...)
Every 12 hours there was a shift change, new doctors came on (and new midwives) and I'd have to go over my entire medical/pregnancy history (not short!!) and plans for what happens next etc - despite all this being written in my notes every day and summarised at the start.
Every single consultant had a different take on what to do; by halfway through the pessary induction (so a mere one day in) I had one consultant trying to get me to agree to a c-section ("oh, who told you you'd have to come off your humira if you have a c section, i'm sure that's not right" - me: two highly experienced rheumatologists and the makers of the drug, "well let me go check on that - can you spell humira for me?" - midwife then confides he's gone to google my meds, he never comes back - apparently my rheumatologist made clear that I was 100% correct!!!) several others (consultants and midwives) saying i'd have to have syntocinon and an epidural for sure so should just consent and get on with it, multiple people telling me they were going to break my waters if they could reach (er, no you aren't, not if you know what's good for you!) and finally one consultant, who spent the better part of an hour in my room at nearly midnight lecturing me on how i'll never go into natural labour if I hadn't already (after 4 pessarys and only 48 hours, at a time when I had been having regular painful contractions!) and trying to bully me into agreeing to a manual rupture of waters, syntocinon, epidural etc the next day!! Of course, I refused, so he sulked and said all being well then, I could go home in 24 hours. He even tried to get me to agree a date beyond which I wouldn't keep trying for natural birth, even if nothing was wrong - as in, book in for a c section for X date now - when I refused to do that, he said I had to see someone in clinic next week to rediscuss it then as it couldn't wait till the appt I had booked with my regular obst the following week...
After he (eventually) left, an amazing experienced midwife spent nearly another hour with me telling me about her experiences of what he was suggesting, telling me the truth about how walking epidurals usually turn out at this particular hospital and basically reassuring me that I was doing nothing wrong by sticking to my guns! She then got me into the birth pool (having been told by other midwives I wasn't allowed in until in established labour, and instead directing me to the narrowest bath I've ever seen!) and told me to rest and relax and stop worrying about "mobilizing" (the advice I'd been given previously to try and get things going) as if it was going to happen, it would happen and I should get some rest while I could! The birth pool was incredible; my back pain stopped (having been pretty much constant from about 10am Monday), leaving me with manageable regular painful contractions and I then managed to actually get some sleep (well, in hour long bursts between toilet trips!) and was 1cm dilated by the morning check and sweep!
Sadly she went off shift the next morning, as did the lovely midwife who did the sweep that morning (with gas & air as I was finding them so painful - the only one who cared enough to try and help manage my pain through these!) - leaving me with an evil consultant, not so nice midwife and frankly complete bitch of a senior midwife. The plan agreed in the morning (despite the usual attempts to get me to agree otherwise) was to give me 24 hours and re-assess (as this consultant didn't agree with the one the night before about me being allowed to go home) - I was feeling super positive, was contracting, starting to dilate and felt good. Then half an hour later, when some new midwife i'd never met came in to take bloods, she told me in passing that I was being moved to an ante-natal ward that afternoon. It then took them around 5 hours to come and talk to me about this, despite me chasing it regularly, by which time my contractions had almost completely stopped (the bitch claims this was just the last of the pessary from the day before wearing off, nothing to do with stress being bad for labour, oh no). They then basically told me I wasn't allowed to be on the labour ward if I wasn't being actively induced (but if I accepted the syntocinon, waters breaking etc I could stay... no pressure...), wasn't in active labour (at least 4cm dilated) and that my obst consultant was completely wrong when she said I could go on labour ward as soon as things started due to my high risk status. They implied I was lying about this and kept saying "Oh what a shame she never put it in your notes"...
Anyway - an hour long debate then happened, in which I was treated like an idiot, basically told that high risk or otherwise I wasn't going to get any special treatment (oh no missy, who do I think I am - type attitude) and they would be sticking to policy no matter what. I said I was either staying put, or going home (against medical advice if necessary) and made it clear how furious I was at how I was being treated. This seemed to get through to the consultant how much of a fuss I was likely to make (hello complaint to the PCT when this is all over!) and they eventually agreed a compromise measure of a single room on post natal and a promise that they'd let me know when the birth pool was free (despite moans from the bitch/senior midwife about it being busy and used by labouring mums, not silly people like me who need it for pain relief - nevermind the fact i'd been there for 3 days at that point and it had sat empty for most of that time and I'd said that if anyone came onto the ward in labour and wanted the pool I would of course get out instantly for them). Of course, in the end they never rang to say the pool was free, but that evening (once the bitches had gone off shift) we got my post natal floor midwife to ring up to see if it was free and ten minutes later they rang back to say yes, and they had it filling for me already! :)
Post natal was OK - fab midwife assigned to me when i arrived, who showed us pressure points to help labour along, properly read all my notes (over an inch thick at this point!) and arranged for fuzzy to have his initial blood test done from cord blood, so we don't have to stick him with a needle as soon as he's born (cool huh!) She couldn't do enough to help us and was absolutely lovely. So of course she went off shift a few hours later never to be seen again! The other midwives were ok - friendly and helpful, but nothing special. We swapped out screaming women (oh my god, so many screaming women, was disturbing even to a OBEM veteran like me) for screaming babies and staff who talked at the top of their voices all night long even when stood right outside rooms/wards full of people trying to sleep. But I did manage to sleep; the birth pool worked wonders again, had some cramping, very mild but there, by the time I got out and my tightenings had started to return (albeit it in a painfree braxton hicks stylee).
Then, excitement! At 3.30am I woke up with the strangest feeling of movement/a twitch type feeling in my cervix! To the loo! A show! A ruddy great, bloody, huge show! (and wow - aren't they gross? I knew theoretically what it would be like, but it doesn't really compare you for the octopus like, bloody and enormous stringy thing that emerges from your vagina with no warning!) HURRAH! I instantly woke DP up (who was sleeping on the labouring mat on the floor the first midwife had got for us - poor thing!) and danced around the room! He was pretty asleep and a bit confused about me dancing around the room, grinning and saying "mucus" a lot! But I was so excited! Further proof that birth pool/relaxing is the way to go at this stage for me!
Then in the morning a female consultant, who, it turns out is covering for my obst who is away for 2 weeks (never mentioned to me before, I had been told there was just one day when we couldn't contact her, so don't know what happened there) was on shift. Asked if I wanted to go home, as I didn't want further intervention, I said yes, she said fine! She signed off on regular sweeps (including one that morning) and arranged to see me in clinic next Tuesday to re-assess (i'll be 39+6 then). I am in tomorrow and Sunday for monitoring at maternity triage and will be doing my BP at home as well - we're toying with picking up a doppler just so we can check on fuzzy more carefully too - but so far he's returned to his normal active self since we got home (he was much quieter in hospital - probably picking up on my stress I think, plus the contractions meant I couldn't feel his smaller movements so well!) so i'm not sure if we'll bother.
There's so much else to tell, it's really been the strangest of weeks; the male midwife with the porno tache who strongly reminded me and DP of the borderline stalker / creepy IT guy who I used to work with - who was my first assigned midwife and did my first pessary (he was actually lovely - once I got over my completely unfair revulsion over the likeness to the guy I used to work with!), the way fuzzy when stressed somehow contorts himself into a position that makes my bump cube shaped, the sneaky pizza dinner rob smuggled in on Monday evening to me that we ate leaning over the windowsill with views out over east Brighton - strangely romantic and fun! In amongst all the bad there has been some actually quite lovely moments and some really fantastic midwives who genuinely care and do everything they can to help.
I think i'm going to be mulling/processing all this in my mind for a long time.
But the really important thing is that we are home, fuzzy is safe, my pre-eclampsia has remained completely stable (BP hasn't changed at all, bloods remained stable) and labour is coming soon! I still suspect fuzzy will wait for a point over the bank holiday weekend (whenever driving to the hospital will be busiest/most inconvenient probably!) before putting in an appearance! But we shall see!
We've decided that if I can't labour naturally (i.e. if the pre-eclampsia suddenly worsens, or labour doesn't kick in by itself before I go dangerously overdue) then we will go straight to a c-section; syntocinon, epidural etc is just too risky to my back/hips - I don't want to end up wheelchair bound with a newborn! It's good, but scary to have a decision made on this at last!
Of course, after all this, i'll probably go into labour naturally, push for bloody ages, then it'll turn out that fuzzy is too big for me to deliver him and i'll end up with a c-section anyway! But hey, at least I will have tried!
So that's me! I've probably left out loads of info - my brain is still swirling with it all tbh! I'm going to go back and properly read all the thread now - have been checking in when I can on my phone, but haven't really taken it all in!
Kayzr I hope you are having a lovely wedding day! (That is today right?)
That just leaves me to thank bun for her sterling work passing on my somewhat lengthy text message updates to you all!! And to say thank you again for all your support, it really has made a big difference to have people on my side, not questioning my judgement in not having interventions etc You are all very very lovely!
And with that DP and I are going to watch some DVDs, maybe order a curry and if he can get past the tidal wave of mucus (yet more coming out since this morning's sweep) I may attempt to convince him to sleep with me! I promise to update you all if anything more happens!
'trope out!
Davinaaddict ·
05/04/2012 15:52
Ok I am seriously rubbish at this drawing business 
I hope I get better with practice!
Have found Trouble, Ellie & Mamma so far - my user name is same as here if anyone wants to play 
Davinaaddict ·
05/04/2012 16:08
Ooh x post trope I'm glad you're finally home and things are progressing for you. The pom poms are still on stand by for when things get moving again It sounds like you've had a really eventful week and need to get some rest. Good luck with your DP
ghosteditor ·
05/04/2012 16:12
Trope I am 
and 
at your experience but just wanted to say well done you for standing your ground! I know from experience how frustrating it is to have a new team every shift change and how disappointing to be told you can't have things that were promised to you the day before!
I never actually had much of a show, just a crazy amount of bleeding, but it sounds gross! Sounds like you're well on the way now - good luck! Get some proper rest before things get going properly
TroubleAndFyfe ·
05/04/2012 17:38
Well done trope! Sounds like you and your DP have really stood your ground!
Have fun with the mucus !
Kayzr ·
05/04/2012 18:06
Quickly popping on to say thank you!! I'm married now, the weather has been brilliant and it's been an amazing day!!!
Trope hope all goes well for you.
Davinaaddict ·
05/04/2012 18:41
Congratulations Kayzr 
and (virtual) 
Enjoy the rest of your day!
I'm finally on the laptop - trying to download the photos of Lauren from my phone so I can upload them to here! Will let you know when I'm done if I don't get lost in Draw Something that is It's waaaay too addictive, and I've only got 3 games on the go Although I've been thinking I might have to change my user name on there and get some games going with some of my fb friends. I don't want to out myself to them on here!
Davinaaddict ·
05/04/2012 18:48
Aaargh! Bloody itunes not working now because an error on the earlier version means I now need to upload the new version to fix it! 
Trouble you are awesome at Draw Something!
Davinaaddict ·
05/04/2012 19:05
wow fools that cowgirl was awesome! And hello from another Charlotte
aBundanceOfTime ·
05/04/2012 22:48
Congratulations Kayzr!! Wonderful that you've had such a lovely day
And what a post Trope!!
That hospital (well, one midwife really) isn't particularly in my good books either, to say the least. I'd actually blocked it out until recently because I was too emotional/hormonal to let myself deal with it. Am really fucking now that I've started to process it all though, spoilt my last experience of child birth for me 
really sad. Can't say how much I admire your resolve through all of this, I was much wimpier and really suffered for it.
So glad that you've got someone on your side that's going to follow up with your case now, the lack of consistency of care you received is just astounding and unacceptable!
Hope you and DP are having a lovely evening, you certainly both deserve it!
Might have a sneaky peak at Draw Something...
aBundanceOfTime ·
05/04/2012 23:11
Oh my days! I just send you one Mamma 'tis shameful! I am baaaaad at Draw something!
aBundanceOfTime ·
05/04/2012 23:13
I'm TashaBun by the way - though possibly too traumatised to play ever again!
Davinaaddict ·
05/04/2012 23:14
Do it Bun - It's a very addictive little game and some of the easiest pictures are really hard to draw! And not helped when you also have a fussy baby that keeps making you draw random lines everywhere at least that's my excuse & I'm sticking to it
I cant get it to connect to fb though for some reason as it says I'm not logged in for some reason I've tried logging in on both Safari and the fb app but it still wont work - puzzled!
How are you feeling trope? Any sign of baby yet? You've only got 45 mins before I'm wrong, so hurry up please
Davinaaddict ·
05/04/2012 23:15
Oh and forgot to mention the whole reason for posting - pics finally up now!
aBundanceOfTime ·
05/04/2012 23:23
Oh Davina how gorgeous!! What a cutie
I've done two now, it's suprisingly difficult isn't it! If Mamma gets that one I'll be mighty impressed - DP was laughing his head of at me the git
Will brave on to you now so you can laugh at me . . .
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