January 2012 - The one with the heartburn, kick counting and bump-gropers losing their hands...

[shonnomanom]

There we go, a nice new thread.

The BIG Question??? Will the first baby arrive during this thread???????

cakes I had an initial burst of energy for a couple of weeks but I think I overdid it and made myself ill last week so now I'm back to normal

Hi everyone, just had to tell you all I went to an amazing home birth information evening tonight, I was planning a home birth anyway but this has made me even more certain. It was run by a midwife from the homebirth team here in leeds and she was really positive.

It really made me want a birth pool at home, which I hadn't considered before, have any of you used one before/planning to use one this time?

They showed a video of a homebirth and me and dp both cried! And we are not usually the most overtly emotional pair, heaven help us when it is actually our baby getting born!

I listened to my hypnobirthing cd this afternoon and fell asleep! Is this normal?!

brown the same happened to me I put the cd on and thought...oh well, this will never work, because you know....zzzzzzz...so, I suppose it sort of worked I am listening to it tonight before going to bed, so I doubt I will last long this time.

brownwolf and greenlady - yes that's perfectly normal. I've listened to it about 20 times and only twice heard it past a few minutes. The instructor says that's fine because a) you hear more of it than you realize when you are in the pre sleep faze and b) it's conditioning you to relax when you hear it

brownwolf I bought a birth pool in a box for £50 quid off ebay with the intention of using it with DD. They are excellent quality, very roomy, deep and sturdy, quite easy to pump up. We did get it pumped up and used it on the decking as a jacuzzi (we had one of those bubbling airmats) in the summer but sadly it was never used for birth and I put it back on ebay and got £80 for it.

Make sure you have on demand hot water as in GCH boiler, we didn't in our old house, using an immersion heater and it was a nightmare, took HOURS and HOURS to fill, make sure you have a good sturdy floor to stand it on, make sure you have correct adapters for your taps for the hose and make sure the room is big enough for your MW and DH and whoever to get round all sides.

I so wanted a home birth with DD, but I had to let that go because I was induced in the end-it couldn't have gone further from the plan and that did cause me a lot of issues post natally in terms of guilt and trauma. I wish I had kept a bit more an open mind. Not saying you are not but please be prepared for all eventualities and not make the same mistake i did which was to deny any other course of action until it was too late. I really don't want to put a downer on anyones plans because I think home birth is the most incredible experience and the way it should be done but as with all things child related it's different for everybody and things don't always go to plan.

brown A good friend of mine gave birth in one and said it was a great experience. I would love to but know I can't due to some blood clothing issues I have, so I have decided to have the little one at the hospital where I will feel much safer overall.

But as fish said, birth experience is such an individual one that you have to go with what is right for you, for my friend a home birth in the pool was fab, and I hope is the same for you!

As predicted I fell asleep listening to the cd, will do it again tonight and try it all the time. Thanks parsley for letting us know we are conditioning ourselves in relaxing with the cd, it is positive news after all then

Wishing all of you ladies a lovely day, going to see the doc today (blood related stuff) and hoping my sugar levels in pee is normal...doing a test, taking a urine sample first thing is the morning and one after lunch and see how it looks! (sorry for TMI) as I am still worried about this sugar business in my pee!!!

quick i have 10 minutes to make a decision!! I have just been invited shopping at Cribbs causeway bristol with my parents. IT does mean i will be spoilt for the day, prob be able to get all my xmas shopping and last few baby bits done, plus go to hobby craft or john lewis for bikini clips. BUT it also measn approx 3 hours driving there and back in total today, plus i need to be back for 3, and be very tiring. PLus the cost of fuel. Would you?

fish I'd be tempted, but if you have to be back for 3pm will you have enough time? Esp if you need lunch and a sit down!

Morning all!

Is it time to go back to bed yet?!
My energy levels have got worse since I finished work. Not sure what that's all about.

I'm keen on a waterbirth and if I get the chance I will give it a go. I'm not sure though with my current state of falling apart that they will let me. Long chat next week with mw is in order.

green hope you appointment goes well

Hope your all ok x

ghost youre right it's such beautiful day here too. Mentally this is just the sort of tonic I need, it would cheer me up no end.

The limited time thing is actually an advantage in some ways because it does mean I can't do too much and be too long and overstretch myself.

BUt I just know how much I will HURT tonight!

Xpost fish
I'm not sure you would have enough time. What if you got stuck in traffic, who could collect your lo?

It's alright-i'm not going to go, with my sensible head on it's just too much. I have barely the stamina to walk round town for an hour-we did it on sat and it hurt.
I said no to a days work today because I hurt too much at the end of it. If i was going off on a jolly I could have worked instead.

BUT now I feel quite depressed :(

Fish I answered on fb, I think you should go! And I am very jellous.

shonno i could ask my friend, shes done it a few times for me before when i have worked and she does owe me one cos i had her girls the other morning-that would give me a little bit more time.

:( fish probably for the best tho

gah! Not going. Boo, I really want to but I do know it wil be just too much.

too much walking, too much fuel, too much money, too much pain and not enough time.

fish since you're not out spending money on petrol etc maybe you could treat yourself/ the baby to something nice purchased via the internets? Just a small reward for being sensible? I would do that but that's probably why I don't have any money

fish just saw the message re. your going or not going and then by this time you have obviously already decided you are not going...I kile "ghost*'s idea, internet all the way over here too!!!!

Phew! Parents have gone. Super tired, so will be going for a nap. They just don't realise how bloody stressful they are...just being there.
Had 31wk prodding yesterday and Abi seems to have her head dowm or she did then. She was hiccuping and bashing me with what felt like a head on the left earlier, so I think she's moved a bit as the same bashings were def. on bladder yesterday.

Apparently I had glucose in my urine, but MW was very dismissive of it, just told me it had to go on my notes and asked if I'd had anything unusually "sugary". Other than a curry the night before, I couldn't think of anything...and still can't. Just having a small freak out about it now. I'm sure it's the post-parental-visit anxiety and tiredness all mixed into one. Can stress cause glucose in urine???

One other thing. Mum keeps saying things like "well, when you get the first twinges of labour, we'll be up", whereas I'm of the opinion that there's no way in hell they're seeing me whilst I'm in hospital that first day. Despite me repeatedly saying this isn't going to happen she still persists...saying she'd be really dissapointed blah blah "it'd really upset me if we weren't there when you give birth". Problem is I really don't mind my MIL/FIL visiting, as they're local and will just go away if asked and we know we can ask them. My parents live 5 hours away and as you've already seen I find them super-stressful. In all honesty I get on with inlaws better than my own parents and they've already said they'd only visit for an hour if that's what we want, or not at all until we're ready. BUT I know my parents just won't be able to do this...thinking they're being helpful, but in fact, just not being for so many reasons (they're as condescending with him as they are with me at points). My older brother thinks I'm being highly ungrateful and can't see why I wouldn't want them about. I haven't discussed with other bro as, well, will 2 of the 3 they were there anyway, and with the other, I think they saw her within the day - though I know he understands the relationship much better than older bro.

DH is primed to TELL them what to do, but, I don't want to upset them as they're lovely and totally well-meaning, but at the same time, I know I'm basically a fucking crazy loon with them about and that's not good for me or Abi.
Ultimatly, yes, I'll see them probably the day after, but I REALLY don't want them there that first day...selfish?

Sorry, that's turned in to a rant!

I hope we're all fighting fit today (or as fit as we can be). Cakes def. treat yourself to something. And nex toffer, go, nick a wheelchair from John Lewis and get pushed about Cribbs all day!

oiesha It sounds like my relationship with my folks is a bit similar to yours, my mum is hugely stressful, demanding, critical, immature and spilt most of the time and i didn't want her there at birth-they lived in france at the time and part of the reason was that i really didn't want them staying for weeks on end.

However it became my hugest regret. After the fucking awful time I had all i wanted was my mum. I'm welling up even thinking about how it was then.
When she turned up 5 days post birth she was bloody brilliant and I really really wish I had put it all aside just for that one time.

Also she wasn't just upset about it, she was broken hearted not being there and it took her a long long time to forgive me. Now i am a mother of a daughter myself I have a much deeper understanding of how difficult that must have been for her. It really does cut me to think of dd doing the same in a few years.

You have to do whats best for you, but being there (I dont mean by your bedside exactly but around) when your daughter is giving birth I think is one of the experiences that mothers have an expectation of from the start.

Hi all. Just checking in after a tiring trip into town on the bus. For £3.30 for a mile-long journey I felt like I needed to get my money's worth, so I did so many shop-related chores. Sooooooo need a sit down with my feet up now!

I second ghost, fish - buy something pretty on t'interwebz!
x

oiesha just came back from my appointment and they also found glucose in my urine....but this is the 4th time so they have finally decided to send me for a proper test....I wish they had done that before as now I'm stressed out!

I just went to the library to find out a book on cooking for diabetics (decided to take action now instead of waiting another 2 weeks to be seen, etc)

ghost was that you that said you had loads of recipes on low gi food? I would be very thankful if you could give us some

Just like oiesha I haven't eaten anything really sugary (ok, I had grapes and banana, but is it really that bad???????)

Ok, now trying to breath in and out as my mum keeps stressing the crap out of me - I won't actually say what as it is about someone who lost a baby at 8 months and will spare details....as I wish she would spare me!!!! Had a right do at her saying please leave me in ignorance!!!!!!!! Argh, so annoyed!

Hello, we're staying in a guest house with no phone or Internet signal while our bathroom is being finished. Only caught up with the last couple of posts. Oeisha, I know how you how feel. Fish your post has made me a bit sad. :(

My mum was making comments about being outside the labour room and coming in as soon as they heard the babies cries. I said 'no way!' Mum looked disappointed but didn't say anything.

I'm quite a private and independent person and I thought that time would be a time for me, my husband and baby. I just thought, my parents live two hours away, labour could take ages and it's impractical for both my parents to wait out there. They worry too. The baby coming out is only the second stage of labour and I'd need to pass a placenta and then have a moment with my baby and husband alone. Breastfeeding etc could be awkward and I'd cope better with that by myself. I wanted to call family to come up about an hour after the baby emerges, so assuming it's visiting hours, they'd see them in the first few hours (a day or two at most).

That's not mean is it?? I don't want to push anyone away but I'll be so tired and I think it's important for those first moments to be as calm as possible.

Oeisha, in your situation, it sounds like your parents aren't so supportive so I can understand you not wanting them there in those first few precious moments.

Now I'll try and get through the other posts before we go back to our guesthouse. We have no loo in the house so I can't stay here too long :)

green that sounds so insensitive! Why on earth would anyone who is pregnant need to hear that story? Are we not stressed out enough?! Glad you told her off.

Thanks to all who posted about birth pools, home births etc. I am v excited about trying for a home birth but really trying to be open to the idea that it may not happen for whatever reason, as long as baby is ok that is the main thing.

oiesha stick to your guns re your parents, I know it is hard but it is your day for you your dp and new baby and it is totally up to you who is there and they should respect that. I have dp and bestest friend as birth partners and they and midwives are the only people I'm gonna want to see that day. I don't think my Mum has a problem with that or if she does she is keeping very quiet about it!

IMO the mother and baby, closely followed by the father/birthing partner are the most important people in this situation. Anyone else isnt. Granted family, especially grandparents feel they should be there, BUT they must respect the wishes of the new family.

Dp was my only birthing partner when dd was born. We told everyone prior that we would tell them when was the most suitable time to visit at the hospital. We were fortunate in that dd was born at 2232 so we had the whole night and morning together before the first visit. And we restricted hospital visitors to just our parents and siblings, much to the disapproval of my aunt.

My sister has advised that the the first visiting time after her twins are born is purely for her dd. No one else is to visit until the second visiting time at the earliest.
oisha my friend had a similar issue when having her pfb. She told her parents that when they came up from London to see the baby that they were to stay at a hotel and not at her home as usual. Something along the lines of not wanting to start their life together as a family with houseguests. It worked in her favour as they only stayed for a few days as it was costing them, her parents had planned to stay for a fortnight