Nov 2011 - almost time to push!

[TerrysNo2]

Last thread was full so thought I would just start this one off - hope you don't mind as I know I've not been a regular but god forbid you guys having nowhere to chat ;)

Right, caz what's happening, I am stalking you all over the shop and need more news :)

Thanks Cep! I shall buy cake I think!

First night of ff, and I get 6 hours sleep. Abi is settled and the nurses say she could come home today.
My mother arrived from Sweden with big bags of clothes and beautiful handmade quilt and changing bag.
Had a good cry on her and feel so much better!

twojacks Yay! Rest and recover, and enjoy Jacob!

Mmmm cake.

Ok kick up the arse needed here. Need to get motoring on the nursery today - NO to Homes Under the Hammer!

Pam - try an hour in the nursary, then half hour in front of the tele! That was my pattern yesterday and I actually got loads done!

Congratulations twojacks and Welcome to the world Jacob!

I spent most of yesterday wondering if something was happening... from about lunch time i was getting BH as I usually do, but this time accompanied by a period pain style cramp. They were in no way regular, but kept going all day at least every hour or so. Happened throughout the night too, and as the evening went on, they were accompanied by some back pain.

Have had a couple since i've been up this morning, but still nothing regular at all. Shame as part of me was really ready for it last night, and now I'm thinking if it isn't labour starting, why am I getting pains??? Then I start panicking!

MrsA I remember you saying you had something like this a few days ago, does it sound the same?

congrats TwoJacks! hope all is going well with you and Jacob. Great weight.

Pam Elephant House should create a plaque to us like they have for JK Rowling no?

Congratulations twojacks , lovely news. Welcome to the world Jacob! X

Cali that's great news- I hope you are feeling a bit more settled yourself for having caught up on some sleep. Nothing like having your mum around too. x

oooh cake. we're treating ourselves to mcdonalds with ds after his op (assuming it goes ahead today.)

Aww good luck Cep. Hope it goes ok for your ds.
Great news Cali!
Stace I've felt the same too, keep having moments where I think arrgghh is this it!!!
Halfway thru the last day. Chinese for lunch(although am not hungry)!

Pamsco I LOVE HUTH :)

Cali well done and you have done what is right for you and your precious DD at this time. Try not to feel guilty (easier said than done I know) and try to look at the bigger picture. Your DD now sounds like she is starting to thrive.
I think that what can make bf hard - sometimes (not always) a ff baby will sleep better and be more contented than a bf one and that is why tired parents sometimes see it as the easy option but the only easy option is the decision that the parents of each baby makes.
I'm probably not making sense here but whether ff or bf, if the decision makes life (easier probably the wrong word) calmer or settled for all the family, then it is the right one for them.

I found baby led weaning a great source of healing from the guilt of not bf with DD, so let's talk about that in 6 months time!

Staceroo yes, that was me on tuesday night. generally it was mild, constant period pain but there were times around 4am when I thought 'this is it' as there were a few 'loud' peaks.
Since then, nothing. Bump has dropped right down and so i suspect it was the baby burrowing into my pelvis and stretching ligaments. Seeing mw on Tuesday, so will know more then.

With DD I went from nothing at all, except a painful 'pop' when my waters broke to full-blown active contractions courtesy of a drip, so I have no clue as to what early labour feels like. I am so glad I am having a HB, cos I have no idea when I'd go into hospital. I'm glad (for me) that I can just call the mw out.
But I know that's my safe feeling - for others it would be the very act of going into hospital would make them feel safe.

Hi all!
First up a huge congrats to Twojacks and may i add what fine fine taste you have in names. DS is a Jacob :o
I haven't much to add to the BFing debate, every bf consultant I've had in hospital has been so wonderfully supportive and I'm so sorry for those who've not had that. Thankfully with Jacob being so big they didn't pressure us too much, even thouhg he initially lost over his 10 per cent, which means this time I have more confidence even when dealing with a teeny tiny one. If anything I was made to feel guilty at the hospital for not letting her have a bottle, and they came back and gave me the same talk for three days until I agreed. So we're home on top ups too, just two a day, but I'm aiming to ditch those asap. She's only on the 2nd/9th centile so they want her to gain fast but I'm feeding her every two hours for that very reason, as my HV couldn't believe they'd put her on a four hour schedule - four hourly only ever works for big ff babies - useless for BFing. But I think she is finally gaining well now, I can see the change so clearly this week. She almost looks chubby! And she quite often only takes 20-30mls of the top up so I dont think she's that starving. I wanted to come home on breast milk fortifier but we weren't allowed to as it was the charge nurse's last packet. So annoying as I have so much milk I could add it to. We're using a Medela Supplementary Nursing System if anyone wants to have a look at it. It's fiddly but much less stressful to get the formula in her that way and as I have to get 10 doses of medicine down Willow a day as it is, the last thing I need to do is watch her struggle with bottles too. And struggle she does, the amount of wind and puke she gets from feeding with them is a nightmare. Plus the sterilising of everything - in conjunction with me having to prep and time each dose of meds - feels like too much. I want to ensure I can feed her safely without having to turn the kitchen into a lab so for us that means BFing. Were on ready made premmie stuff at the moment for top ups but we only have enough for 2 weeks, then its on to the powder with all the hassle that entails. I'm hoping she'll be fully on the boob by then. I feel very grateful that she is such a good feeder, after 9 weeks of pumping milk 10-11 times a day I would have been distraught if she hadn't been. I totally agree it can be due to a mismatch of equipment as most of the women I know who've struggled have been well endowed buy my boobs are nothing to write home about.
Although Willow is also incredibly settled, I have to wake her for feeds every two hours (she's too small to go longer, but would) then she dozes off quickly afterwards I know that's cos she's only 37 weeks, so am nervously awaiting the great awakening. It's all so different from Jacob who had such a stormy, hard first few weeks. I can totally relate to all the shell shocked posts on here. That was us. But for what it's worth 'this too shall pass' and especially for those struggling it does get easier and whichever method you use in a few weeks in you will literally be feeding with your eyes shut. Good luck all and big hugs.

Congratulations TwoJack!

And to you too Folic, lovely to have you back after your surprise labour!

Cali It sounds like you have turned a good corner after what must have been some desperately needed sleep. Good for you on how you're handling this. I'm so pleased there are these discussions on here about breast feeding etc - as a first timer it is really valuable to hear you all talk about your experiences so thanks for the honesty.

voodoo my last day in work too! Hurray, we made it. I thought I might be tearful and I was worried how I would feel about leaving but I am ready! I feel a bit like I'm falling apart now and I have terrible pelvic pain so it is definitely time to go.

If only my house wasn't a total bombsite and the new bathroom was finished I would feel even happier about starting leave. The plumbers ripped out our bath and sink on Monday, said we'd be without for a few days and still nothing! Thank goodness I still have gym membership and can use the showers there.

Happy Friday's all.
xxx

Hi all,

Well just got back from hospital appointment everything is still going well, and am books in on the 18th for a sweep whatever that is... And have been told will be induced at 40+10 if nothing is happening. So nothing exciting here really am 37 weeks tomorrow so am ready and waiting for her arrival :) the tens machine has also just turned up so come on Bean :)

With regards to bf debate -may be a little controversial here- but i think there is far too much pressure on women to bf from themselves, other women professionals etc etc. It shouldn't be such a big deal! I am going to try it but if it doesnt work for me then will switch to ff, I was ff as was my sister, my niece and my nephews I don't know why any of us were ff rather than bf and to be honest I don't care I don't believe that a women should have to justify her decision on what is best for her/baby/family. Whilst I fully understand the whole "breat is best" stuff which gets shoved down our throats that is only ever going to be true if mum has a good nutritional status, afteral if mum is deficient in any vitamin or mineral then so will baby... So my theory as with everything so far is I'm just going to see what happens :)

I really wish it was easy for me - but now I'm scared of trying bfing exclusively. The three days she was home, and the sheer trauma of it - I'm not ready to risk anything, her or my self.
I still replay the images of what happened - at one point I was sat on the kitchen floor crying, rocking back and forth with my hands over my ears, at another point I just sat with her in my ams for two hours crying solidly, as she wouldn't stop screaming, and had stopped bfing completely, too distressed to eat, to hungry to latch on, I just cried with her in desperation - and the thought that all my child felt in her first days of life was hunger pains still daggers at my heart.
No freaking 'breast is best' policy can make that hurt go away, and I will always feel guilty that I failed her.

So it's not for convenience or wanting an easier time - it's because I can't face what would happen if it went wrong again.
The bf consultant and registrar told me to make the choice as expressing isn't a long term option - which is a bit sad, to be honest as I liked it.
That said, I am putting her to the breast every now and then - although she still refuses it - but I am not going to force it on us.

Apologies if I've come across forceful - I just wanted to put down what's in my head about the whole thing, and how painful the past week has been.

Congratulations, TwoJacks lovely name!

Sounds to me like you are doing exactly the right thing Cali, I would do exactly the same and I don't believe you have anything to feel guilty about!

cali, you don;t sound too forceful - the image you described there is just too much for a mother to go through, honeybee, take it easy on yourself - firstly i believe, though i'm no expert, that they honestly don't remember these early moments & no ill effects will be felt by her. breathe, sweetheart, just breathe & please try to see how well you are doing! you are the kind of mother who cares!! who's trying to do her best!! who's listening to experts & MNers & trying to figure your way through things. you're an everyday hero!!! is expressing really not a long term option, when mixed in with ffing? i can't help but wonder if your professionals are - with the best of intentions in mind - trying to give you only stark choices to help simplify things for you...?? but i don't want to muddy the waters, so i'll stick with saying that i have a funny feeling you'll be just fine - & honey: there are no rules apart from the ones you wish to create for you & YOUR child - she's a unique combination of you & your partner & as such only you two can make the best decision for her. brush off the conditioning attitudes of others & listen to your own instincts; if we're able to calm down & focus enough (difficult i know!) & then ask ourselves what we really think we should do, we are rarely wrong. good luck & stay strong sweetheart x

staceroo i've been having what you describe for a week of so now (am 39+3) i saw one of my MW team last night & have also spoken on the subject with my normal GP (who's also the local nhs practice pre & post natal expert,) & they all agree this is almost definitely my body "just," gearing up for labour, which, working on their other assessments of me, should be up to a week away.. (though they all give a little chuckle at this point & say something like: or it could just start happening now!! hahaaha!) one of them even ventured this could be seen as good thing in terms of experiencing a less painful, protracted labour as my body is clearly slowly but steadily opening up to the idea of giving birth & as such i'm less likely to have a swift but incredibly painful birth, or a longer 'failing to progress,' one - so in short, all good news - a reasonable birth with a prepared body. one of the reasons i get more of these symptoms in the evening might be, as one of my MWs put forward, because of the nearness of my boyfriend to me - he comes home & my body relaxes, & knows it's safe & supported & thus starts to work towards what it might want to be doing in a few days for real. yes, yes - i know - it all sounds very pre-feminist awakenings & i'm sure that reads as a bunch of hocum (after all, plenty of women do just fine - more than just fine - without men around!!!) but i thought i'd share with the group anyway. the message i got on all this is to stay as calm & relaxed as possible & mentally ready & open to labour starting soon & trust my body.

had a session with my acupuncturist yesterday too, not to get her to use the points that can start labour (i'm more than happy to wait until Bumpalicious is ready to make her entrance!) but to ensure baby is the optimum alignment, ready for birth - all the talk on here of the shoulder displacement issues, & my own knowledge from pre-natal yoga of the little 'dance,' our babies have to do to slot into a good birthing position got me thinking that a quick visit to her for some needle work would help - & wow! it did - haven't been for acupuncture since the few early weeks of the pregnancy when i was keen to limit to any risk of early miscarriage - & now i kinda wish i had been going like i used to - felt so calm & relaxed afterwards, so ready for a beautiful birth ..... then i had to drive home through notting hill, south ken, chelsea & fulham in the rush hour!!!! kinda took some of the glow off!! ahahahahaha!

super long post again - oops! i should put bullet points at the start in future! :)

Mash yay! I finish in oooo 40 mins! Boss letting me go home early, more cos they are worried I go into labour (38 + 3) I think.

H007 I have a sweep booked too. It is a membrane sweep to 'irritate' the cells round the top of the cervix? I could have that slightly wrong but sure you get my jist! Hence why i was concerend about the mw having the smallest hands in the world!!

Cali, honestly, you have to do what is best although that sometimes doesnt seem always the 'right' option. If between you and Abigail it is not working then you need to do something different. Its not right or wrong just a different way. Please dont be too hard on yourself.

I totally agree with H007, Cali it sounds like you had a really tough time but I hope you can try not to feel guilty - I know many people who had to go back to the hospital for feeding issues. It was just the situation, that's all, no-one's fault.
Anyway, glad your mum is over giving you support and goodies, mums are the best!

Well, my nesting is winding down a little. The flat looks really pukka - just a small list of little things to pick up from IKEA this weekend. Then I need to make the pram carry cot all cosy, get the pram tires puncture-proofed, finish up the hospital bag and and do some other little things (dye blankets, sell some stuff, repair the satchel that I will use for a pram bag etc and tidy up spare room for guests)

Unfortunately, this time I have a stupid ice-box compartment for a freezer so can't do home-cooked food freezing but my mum brought lots of weird things from the UK (those astronaut-style rosti/brunch potatoes in packs) so I am sort of stocked up.

I am going out for gourmet burgers with my former mum's group tonight, which should be nice. Except I am finding it really hard to eat these days - I immediately get horrible gas and heartburn. And this place has deep-fried Mars Bars!

twojacks congratulations and welcome baby Jacob.
voodoo yay for last day at work....me too!
cali you've had a right time of it haven't you. Please try not to think you have failed in any way, you haven't at all....you've done the best you could and what works for some just isn't right for others. It sounds like you're now getting to a solution which works for you both and Abigail above everything else needs a happy mum. H007 i totally agree with you that theres a lot of pressure and whilst i intend to give it a good go, if its not working i don't feel anyone should be made to feel a failure, they should just be able to make an alternative choice which is the best solution for both mum and baby long term. Easy to say now, i know, then when you're in the moment with all the hormones and tiredness and judging yourself against a standard that you have in your own mind.
mash totally feel for you...we've also got the builders in! nightmare!
well I've got a lovely bladder infection now!!! started last night and was up and down all night to loo, so off to drs this morn and 5 day course of antibiotics! just when id got the tooth sorted, something else flairs up! argghhh! still.....not long now!!!

Thanks for the info MrsA, Mama and others about the pains. I had another look in the 'pathway to labour' guide the mws gave me and it says in there under early labour, that first theres pre labour where there may be braxton hicks which are painless (and i've had regularly for a few weeks now). Then it goes onto early labour, where it says more painful contractions may occur irregularly, and this may last for several days. So I guess I could be at that point! Have mw tomorrow anyway, so will see how we get on tonight. DH was really good at rbing my lower back last night, whilst I sat on my yoga ball. But weve fiends coming to stay tonight so may not be as relaxed!

Will update tomorrow with what the mw says!

H007 think you've hit the nil on the head re the BF issue. Very well said.

Watching Chitty Chitt y Bang Bang now, but really should go clean the kitchen and get the shepherds pie going!

Congratulations two jacks.
Cali in no way have you failed. I think bf is really hard and lots of babies are ff.

Been feeling really off colour in the past week. Wondering if this could be pre labour. Possible sweep on Wednesday.

Well I decided against HUTH MrsA but didn't achieve anything else! Pottering in nursery this afternoon, well having a wee rest just now.

I have mw appt on monday to discuss sweeps, I'm declining the kind offer. OH and I have our own, ahem, method. A bit of nudge nudge will do us. I've cooked all but one day this week so I reckon tonight is curry night nom nom nom.

The boy has sunk right down now - my bump isn't really visible like it was. I suspect that is due to a back to back position - little divil.

PMA (pregnant) ladies - not long now until we get to cuddle our boys and girls :)

PMA to anyone struggling to adjusting to your new born - you'll get there and your babe will settle.

Kate yay for last day too! Sat on birthing ball with some haagen-dazs to celebrate! Was going to go and see a friends band tonight but they aren't on til late so going to have to give it a miss. Feel a bit odd knowing no work til July 2012 arrgghh. Definitely starting to get more and more uncomfortable though, crampy and erm well odd down there! Strange.

Bad things this week - DS poorly all week with NASTY cold, clinging to mummy like a limpet, rough night up with him lst night complaning of tummy pain (and thus freaking me out with my phobia), had migraine start in the midle of the night and go all day. Brakes on the car buggered. Mountain of thesis and uni work to do. Increasinlgy aware that grandparental support, erm, could be, er, more thorough, DP so far worked over 60 hours this week and still working tomorrow.
Good things this week - I, as yet, do NOT have the cold, grandparental support has been present which is better than nothing all week, especially when DP working so much, DP building up leui time that will get us through Christmas without eating all his leave, finished work in a reasonably satisfying manner, and UGLI FRUIT GOT HER HEAD DOWN! Woo! I jnow this could change back again and I know it hardly guarentees me a nice natural home birth over in no time and with no complications, but at least I am now not guarenteed a c section which I was very very scared about. Though now I have reverted to being scared of the labour - no winning with me.
So, I typed an essay on breastfeeding last night late and tired and on my phone and now I am worried it came accross wrong - ultimately the point I was trying to make was I was one of those who did persevere against advice to switch to bottle feeding, and in the end, we had success, in that my breast milk sustained him without addition till he was 6 months, and then onwards till he was 14 months. But we also had failure in that I got ill, physically and mentally, and feeding was always a stress. But I was so attached to it, and it was so hard won, I just emotionally couldnt let go of it. So I just was trying to say, there is no point feeling guilty - I would have felt guilty going either way - I felt guilty I didnt have the sense to stop and be healthy and happy, I would have felt guilty I didnt have the perseverence to carry on. There is no winning. If everything goes swimmingly and there are no problems, there is no debate on whats better. But the picture is rarely so clear cut. Lets just be thankful we have such good options for if we dont breastfeed/give birth naturally etc etc, cause all over the world women and babies are suffering for not having those options.