April 2012 Babies - 2nd thread to welcome the 2nd trimester

[digitalgirl]

Join us as we head out of the secretive, scary, slightly sicky first trimester and into the bump emerging, supposedly blossoming, energy boosting second trimester.

Previous thread here

Stats thread here

Hi! We've also had our long waited for 12 w scan today but to my ultimate frustration haven't heard from our surrogate yet! I know that she would have called us if anything was wrong and probably just didn't have a chance to email us before work but it's killing me... We we're originally going to go over to Texas for next week's scan with the nuchal fold measuring but decided not to untill after New Year's so I wish I'd at least hear how it went today !
This is definitely not an easy process to go through . I feel like an outsider in the whole thing and like it's not happening to me . It'll be a real shock when we finally get the baby . There's no adjustment period at all really since I'm not going through the pregnancy physically or going to appointments with our surrogate . Feel like a froad in baby departments in shops even thought rationally thinking I know I'm looking at things for my own baby I'll hopefully have quite soon ... The 6 months will fly by , before we know it'll be Christmas and then just a few months untill d- day !
Wish me luck with our scan results! I'm looking forward to seeing a new picture too ...

...false alarm! Turns out she hasn't had her scan yet . Having an appointment soon so we'll talk to her in an hour . Explains why she didn't email yet but is now making me worried because nobody's checked if things are ok after 10 weeks . :( hopefully I can soon put my mind at at ease before going to bed!

Jackie - I'm surprised they're advising you to lose weight too. Maybe before you get pregnant, but like you I've always thought it's dangerous to try and lose weight whilst pregnant. I think cutting out the junk and not stressing it sounds like a very sensible way to go (although easier said than done - I am ravenous all the time, and there's basically only chocolate and crisps to buy at work if I forget to bring enough with me)

Thaleia - I thought paracetamol was fine. I'm sure I was told last time by pharmacists that it was all I could take. Although I've heard that asthma link to too 'high' use of calpol etc. in early years as well. I try to keep the calpol use down but when it's the only thing left to try it's hard not to give it!

Anyway, hope you are feeling better soon! (although it SO doesn't help to have unhelpful people like your boss telling you you're being moody when you're feeling miserable)

Nordicmom - hope you got some good news from the scan!

Is anyone else considering a doula btw? I found my homebirth midwife pretty useless last time (she didn't even turn up until two hours before DD was born and I was completely panicked and distraught by then, and didn't seem to have any helpful advice at all) so am thinking I'd like someone I've met before and trust to support me throughout the whole thing this time. DP was pretty good but he found it all a bit traumatic and wasn't sure what to do. I'm not sure how much they tend to cost though; better start investigating I guess.

So knackered today - DD awake for two hours in the middle of the night... She only started sleeping through around 1yo, but the last month or so back to waking up at least once every night. Am praying she goes back to sleeping through soon...

Nordic - hope your mind was put at rest last night.

I'm currently sitting here needing to wee for the 3rd time in about an hour. Maybe it is an UTI... or just the way things are going to be! I remember my friend needing to go constantly at this stage.

Mackrelmint I'm probably going to hire a doula - but that's because I'll be in the US and I feel I need someone to guide me through it all as the usual practice is to only see an OB there, not a midwife (I believe). I'm still very interested in having a homebirth rather than a hospital birth too so I'll have to start emailing some doulas there for advice I think.

In the UK, I've come across a few links. Have a look here.

We talked to our surrogate last night after her appointment and everything is fine . They listened to the heartbeat but after all did not have an ultrasound just some blood work etc. She'll have the scan on the 26.10. and then the next appointment OB is on 18.11. I guess I'll better get used to not having appointments so often. I know it's normal . I had nothing extra with my son but I've found it very reassuring to get those results since I'm like a third party here far away from her. Interestingly she says she finds herself already a bit breathless... I remember that later on when I was heavily pregnant and the giant bump was squashing all my insides.
Mackrelmint I think a doula would be a really good idea if you are going to be at home , I'd do it ! Feel like any support in that situation would be great . What I've heard the midwifes really don't show up until later on .

Welcome mrsb33, good to have you with us.

Beyond I'm another one with kick envy, can't wait until I can feel movements. Every single twinge I get my heart starts racing and I think "is that it? is that it?", but I'm pretty sure it's just wishful thinking.

Saw the midwife again this morning. So exciting to hear the heartbeat!
For the record Jackie I asked her about my weight as I'm concerned I've put on rather too much too quickly (I've put on over a stone already and am currently 79kg - I'm 5'7"). She said she wasn't concerned and that I shouldn't be, that weight gain is very variable. She said they don't even weigh pregnant women any more apart from at the booking-in appointment. Apparently it's quite normal to pile on weight in the first trimester when you're eating to stave off nausea (I had nausea every day and eating really helped, but I was never sick, so I guess I didn't get rid of any of the excess calories I was taking in. I also had a total obsession with cheese). The appetite becomes a little less frantic in the second trimester so it's easier to eat healthily and in moderation - as I was advised to "try to" do. I'm really surprised you were told to lose weight. I think you do right to just try to cut out the junk food and otherwise not worry about it.

Thanks for link nancy and good luck planning your homebirth - I think it's much less common in the States, although I would think it very much depends on where you are and what the hospitals and OB/GYNs and so on are like there.

Not sure yet whether I will go for home this time - ended up in hospital last time and actually quite appreciated being there for the night and having people around to help if need be. I'd also quite like to be within reach of an epidural if I really want one.

But, quite a fast labour last time (5cm-10cm in less than an hour) and apparently it's often quicker 2nd time round, so it could be a bit hectic getting to a hospital if that's the case and better to be at home. (If so, this time I'll do a little more prep getting sheets in etc. - basically prepared nothing last time so quite lucky I transferred to hospital otherwise my house would have been quite a mess!)

Nordic I'm getting breathless to. I'm convinced it's the rhinitis. Maybe she has it too? Not having a runny nose doesn't mean rhinitis isn't there.

Really upset today. I'm panicking a bit as I really can't see us having any disposable income to buy baby stuff. As most of you know I lost my job whilst pregnant. I thought maybe I'd be entitled to the sure start maternity grant but it seems like they changed the rules and if you already have a child under 16 you are not entitled. Why? I know it's not the government's responsibility to support my baby, but I never intented for any of this.

DH suggesting we ask for mothercare giftcards for Christmas as presents. That did cheer me up a bit :)

SurprisEs - I am sorry you are not entitled to financial aid.

As for needing things for the baby - do any family or friends have items they don't need anymore? I know it's not the same as buying your own but as long as they are clean and unbroken then baby won't mind if they are not brand new!

My mum is franticly looking through our local free ads to see if there are things on there we can get. Although we are both working we were planning on getting a lot of stuff from my SIL but she has selfishly got pregnant again she has just told us she is expecting the month after us which is great as it means I have a maternity friend but not great on our bank balance!

mackrelmint am feeling the pain of lack of sleep too. Our DS is starting to get molars through and last night woke every 20mins screaming between 12pm and 4am until i basically let him scream it out as had tried everything to get him calm down including lots of drugs and milk and coming to bed with us and nothing worked!

how will we cope with 2......

anyone with little ones - any advise on coping with sleeping thing??
(used to sleep through but not for last few months - he is 14months now!)

ah well at least it makes me forget about this pregnancy....

Jackie I weigh more than you - I've been told to keep an eye on it and not pig out. I did lose 3kg between 9-12 weeks but still just in the obese category. Been told to try to maintain same weight until later on if possible due to blood pressure etc.

A little bumplet seems to have appeared on my belly overnight!! I am hoping it is the baby bump and not a cake related accident.

Anyone else getting nosebleeds?

Mumofwilliam - I'm experiencing the same with dd (15mo) she ws a great sleeper until 8 mo, since then it's getting progressively worse, these days it's typical to be up 5 times for 20 mins a time between 11- 4 :( I've found it a huge struggle with work and this pregnancy...
Think it might be to do with teething?? Have tried everything - cuddles /cry it out/ co-sleeping. So I'm afraid no advice - just empathy :)

April- not this time but I did last pregnancy :)

surpriseEs sorry you can't get the grant, but I thought it had always been only for a first baby, as you need to buy the pram and cot and carseat and such essentials. But annoying for you anyway given that you need the money at the moment.

Uglymush I have most things from DD but want to get a new mattress for the cot, was really hoping for a new car seat (not possible now) and need a new Moses as I gave the last one to a friend when DD outgrew it. Need to replace parts in my pram about £60 worth. Swaddling blankets aren't a must but I'd like them as I really wish I had them last time and little top ups in muslins...

It's nothing we can't deal with, just irritating considering the way we'd planned things. I feel like I shouldn't be complaining on a forum...

No big advice on the sleeping. DD is 2 and we have had periods o bad sleep. Co-sleep was the way forward for us, but it's not everyones cup of tea.

Banana before bed is something 2 of my friends swear by!

My SIL wants to give me a baby shower could one of your friends do this for you? Then suggest instead of gifts you would like 'help' towards what you need. Cheeky I know but everyone likes a party. Everyone needs to complain sometimes and we can't always do it in RL so why not here?

Gumtree has some fab deals for baby things (for £30 we got change table and travel cot both John Lewis used for 2yrs good as new :) also have a freebie section :)

I'll have a look on gumtree, thanks for the suggestion. Not sure about the baby shower but may give my best friend a hint, lol! I think te best option is what DH suggested for Christmas. We did the same when we got married and asked for giftcards or money instead of presents as finances were so tight and we didn't necessarily need a new pair of slippers or smellies (which we still would've been grateful for BTW).

Have I mentioned there's a rumour that my ex boss for the sack? Karma!

My son also used to wake up quite a lot crying when he was about 2+ and wander in to our room most of those times or just scream in his own bed. We used to have to get up to take him back and settle him down which sometimes took forever. First he didn't want to be held and was just thrashing around in his bed but after a bit of screaming and refusing to say what was wrong he would then want a cuddle so I sat on his bed cuddling him and was eventually able to get him back to a sleeping mood. It might be an age thing but the waking up screaming stopped when we got him a little nightlight . He hasn't gotten up since really and thankfully now at the age of almost 7 is really good about bedtimes and I can pretty much count on 11-12h of blissful silence which won't be the case anymore very soon... It'll be hard to get used to no sleep after all this time! I was worried about him waking up with the baby crying but maybe he'll be ok since he's on a different floor of our house and slept through a very loud fire alarm that was going off outside the other night for at least 30 min ...

Love the romour SurprisEs, just hope it is true!!

Nordic DD did that random crying and hysterical thrashing of legs thing. We then figures out it was because she was wertig the bed and as soon as we put her back in nappies (just for night time) the fuss stopped. Weird.

The only time we have a huge problem with bedtime now is if she has a nap. But I still don't have it in me to refuse her sleep. Plus the tantrums get out of control I she's tired. It's happening a lot less now we found things to keep us busy during the day. :)

Uglymush he's definitely not at that restaurant and the supervisor said she thinks he's been sacked.

DS thrashes around just before he falls asleep but hes only just one?
He's only just (literally maybe a month ago) started sleeping through. Please God dont let him stop again in a month or two!!!!!!!!!

My nose is bleeding right now.

SurprisEs Do you reckon you could get your job back if he has?

MumofWilliam Dont mention "how will we cope with two" - I'm trying not to think about it!! [hgrin]