Ding Ding! We're halfway there on The February Baby Bus 2012.

[BillComptonstrousers]

good morning my lovelies, as requested, a shiny new thread old thread is here

Good luck with scans today, phlossie are you off for yours?

we've had a know everything person round for tea too. i've decided to not talk to her too much as it drives me nuts (she's a consultant paediatrician as well so she really does act like she knows everything about children). I wish I could stay calm. Maybe when we're pregnant it's SUCH a personal thing that we like to not be told stuff, even more than normal. Or it's hormones.

Can i ask your opinions on my DH and names? I only want kind but truthful answers!! When pg with DD we talked vaguely about using both our dad's names as middle names if we had a boy, but in the end settled on DH's middle name as baby's middle name. This time i assumed we'd do the same, but today he suggested "name - FIL's name - surname". I said, fine as long as my dad's goes in there too, and he said no way is it having two middle names, if we have another son (extremely unlikely as IVF and not doing it again and frozen embryos not great quality) we can give it my dad's name.

I'm SO upset that he thinks this is ok and can't stop inwardly fuming about it. My dad has been my rock in my whole life, and since we got married has put shelves up, cut down trees, fixed furniture, put stuff in the loft, driven up to see us (hundreds of miles) and numerous other wonderful things which have helped us immensley. His dad is just a man who i barely know tbh. I don't know why DH has suddenly come up with this. I just can't bear the thought of giving our child his dad's name and leaving mine out, it would be so hurtful (although my dad would never show it). What am I going to do? I don't want to fight, or put my foot down, or anything un-peaceful? What can I say that will help DH to see that it's not right (if you agree!!)? My tactic is going to be not mentioning names AT ALL until he next does and hope he changes his mind without us having to fight about it.

Thanks.

ak.

Scan number 5 tomorrow. Sigh, hope there's not too much hanging about, and even more, that the baby has grown the right amount, that there is no sign of preeclampsia and I can hang on to this baby a bit longer!! Sorry all you waiting for your scans, i know it's frustrating to wait.

Nigth all

25 weeks today!

oh and thanks diedandgonetodevon for the pillow advicem, I think i will get one. Now just need a vouchercode for mothercare to try and get a bit of money off!

Exactly what you said just here, woowa, that it's really important to you that your dad gets honoured because he's been a rock and because he's helped so much and this is how you'd like to thank him. That you're not suggesting you leave your FIL out of it, but that you need to have your dad included too. You could also point out that you and your children have (and I'm assuming here) taken you DH's, and therefore your FIL's surname and you gave up your family name.

The way to say it (and DH and I have had couple's counselling, so this is directly from the authority!) is to phrase it as 'I feel this way' or 'this makes me feel like this' - that way it doesn't sound accusational. I think it's important to get it out in the open, though, because going along with it could cause resentment later on.

I'm very pleased DH hasn't suggested his FIL's name! Colin. Mind you, my dad's called Rupert which I like, but it's not everyone's taste and it's what DH's family have always called the Christmas turkey (weirdos!)

Whereas, Sugar80 - you probably just need to bite your lip! How annoying, though - I've met know-it-alls before. Like you said, she's bound to have her own agenda and insecurities - it's just annoying that you're on the receiving end.

Glowfrog - there are a couple of genetic mutations for CF that they haven't yet identified, but they're really rare (my Step MIL has one of them) so having had the other sorts eliminated puts your risk lower than the national average. I hope yours and woowa's upcoming scans go well.

Blimey, I'm tired. We saw a financial adviser who recommended that we get our family house sorted now. So we're looking at 6 houses on Saturday! All the town or country thinking has me up in the wee hours at the moment. Plus we've started touching up paint etc in our house - DH has just given the baby's room a fresh coat of paint.

Hi all...just checking in again. Seem to be incredibly busy at the moment! There was some discussion earlier about sleep and lack thereof...I'm in the "lack thereof" camp unfortunately, although this isn't unusual for me! I'm an early riser as well - and it's not been helped by the general discomfort and feeling sooooooo hot in bed. Have been using a pillow in between knees but that seems to make it even hotter and it takes up loads of space - I've just ordered the mothercare pillow (the one that was on sale) and it should be delivered to the store next thursday!
I've got a wedding to go to in January (fingers - and legs - crossed that Bert doesn't decide to put in an early appearance) but have no idea what to wear. I'm loathe to buy any more clothes but could really do with a nice frock or something. Will have to have a look online when I can be bothered. Need to buy a coat as well.
Hope you enjoyed your birthday, monkey - you sounded so excited it really brought a smile to my face! And YAY for another team yellow [hgrin]
(sorry for being rubbish)

Aww sugar how poo I have several people on facebook who know everything... Whether it's about pregnancy, food, clothes, fecking chimney sweeping!! Ha!

One girl, I just stopped answering her emails (bad person, I know) but I got sick to death of her old woman rants about SHIT!

Also, one of my best pals stopped speaking to me for 6 months over a job. Now that sounds like it could be fair enough. But it was 10 or so jobs, and 12 going for them. Problem was, they didn't fill the 10 so went external!! She should have got it too, but admitted (6 months later) that she fucked up the interview. Also it was only me in a room of 70 people and 30 upstairs that she got the hump with.

Extra problem... Me, her and her DP lunched every day... It went down to a couple of times a week, and I just sat at my desk the other days. Made for a horrible 6 months (includinh much tears from me)

She's ok now, it was 3yrs ago... But I will forever have a shadow over her friendship. Shame cos she's fab most other ways. She even apologised (approx 12 months later) saying you hurt the ones you love... Yep, but that was harsh!!

Hopefully your miss know it all will wind her neck in soon. I was told I wasn't feeling real kicks at 15 weeks... I was.. And as my scans have shown, it was 14 weeks actually, so suck on that!!

I just smiles and said "probably" people take that and leave it then... But I knew

Wow - waffle-tastic post here! Sorry!

Last thing!! DP full of cold, he's snoring away... But I got BEST prezzy ever yest... Pocket DAB radio! Sat listening to radio6 in bed... DP undisturbed! Ahhhhhh blisss

Night all x [hgrin]

PS hermione I WAS excited!! Haven't been since about 23 when age fear started!! Best birthday ever!!

Off to the midwife today. I told DD (2.5) that we would get to hear the baby, and her face completely lit up. "we get to hear the baby talking?!". Er, not quite, darling

22+3

sugar not everyone gets a 12 week scan so your both half right on that one :p lol but i know what you mean RE the 'know it alls'. I take it in, nod along politely and then kindly disregard any information they give me. lol

woowa that's a bit of a kick in the teeth about names?! What's wrong with 2 middle names?! Hmmm i'dwait n see if the situation comes up and talk about it again then.

Today i will mostly be killing DH. Once he gets home. Had a really crap nights sleep, getting up at 2 and 4am to go to the toilet. Didn't get to sleep easily after the 4am wake up call. Then DH got up before his alarm at 5:30am (he's in Halifax for a meeting today) and didn't turn the sodding thing off! I must have been dozing as i was dreaming about an alarm going off and what do you know its DH's ringing in my ears. ARGH! I could bloody swing for him!

Nothing wrong with two middle names - makes identifying your stuff by initials really reliable! (has 2 middle names!)
Ds and future baby have my surname as a second middle name, despite MrNC disliking it - I pointed out he could agree to that or I'd go register the baby with my own surname...

How about pointing out that ds1 has DH's name so that's one middle name as there's only one DH, then ds2 gets both dads names as there's two of them, and should there be a ds3 they could have up to four granddads names but you'll settle for max of two? :)

Just a quick drive by hello!

Woowa-Hope scan goes well and all is good :)

Sugar-Well! I don't know what to say to that. You could ask where she is getting her information from and point her in the right direction. Or how about buying her this or similar? Maybe she wants to feel part of it or if she is really annoying you, tell her to butt out.

News from here, representing myself in court today regarding my eldest dds contact with her father. Was informed that Legal Aid was cancelled at 4pm on Monday, so had not time to instruct a new solicitor, having to go alone as oh can't get time off work and I don't know anyone else round here properly. Wish me luck and will try and reply to personals tonight or tomorrow.

Just lurking on lunch and no time to post but Crazybit really hope things go well for you.

crazy Wishing you all the very best luck in the world!! What a shitty situation! Giving you hardly any notice of legal aid cancellation!!

Hi everyone,

monkey thanks for the reassurance thats an excellent way to put it 'like prodding a cake from the inside' I've definitely felt movement this morning, nice little kicks :)

sugar yes at the earliest I thought I felt movement it was just a heaviness, no definite 'moves'

woowa sorry your husband doesn't understand how much having your fathers name means to you. I am unreasonably stubborn I'm afraid, so I would tell my husband the name is going in and he needs to accept it, but I'm a bit unmoveable (to be polite about myself, others might say pig headed) but luckily we have decided on a middle names for our baby if its a boy, Henry Jacob. If its a girl we'd like two middle names too, possibly Noelle Kate. Its just the first names we are stuck on. Have you spoken to him about how you feel? Good luck woowa

crazy good luck today, I'll be sending you best wishes.

Last night while I was in the supermarket, I was looking at some brie and thought when my pregnancy is over I'll be able to have this lovely cheese and some nice wine to go with it, then it struck me like a bolt, when my pregnancy is over I'll have a baby, it doesn't just go back to being me and DH. I obviously know this but last night I just felt so overwhelmed by it, I know nothing at all about caring for a baby or being a parent :( I know most people feel like this and its natural etc but I'm still quite daunted by it (despite ttc this baby) I'll be buying a baby book on amazon this afternoon and trying to figure out how to care for a newborn.

21+5

Oh Pam I am firmly with you!! Been broody for 10 years, and when we finally made the decision to TTC it was almost instant... now I am completely petrified!

I have zero baby experience, I was the baby in our family, so am only used to dealing with older people. Then as friend circles change, I was never around anyone while they wer pregnant or with a newborn, only toddlers up... so STILL clueless!

I am fortunate in the respect that DP was the youngest of 5, by some years. So his eldest nephew is actually 6 months older than me! He has been around hoards of babies forever, so I am totally relying on him! Also my mum is a 5 minute walk away or 1 minute in the car.... she will be heavily relied on too, especially once DP goes back to work after paternity leave!

Clueless, petrified and terribly excited!!

20+4 (going wth the March dates now I have had 2nd scan)

Ahh you will be just fine!..My husband panicks every time he has had to dress our new born sons, he is built like a rugby player!....He says they feel so delicate & he is worried about hurting them....they are really tough little things & they havent a clue whether their Mum & Dad know what they are doing or not!....Having said that, this is my 3rd dc & im having moments of thinking, omg 3 children!....How will we all get up washed, dressed & fed before the 8.30am school run?!....In reality, I know it will happen, its got to!....Even if it means ds3 stays in his pjs until after we get back from school!....:)

Wicketkeeper that is so cute!
Crazy hope all goes well.

Monkey and Pam in my experience its not long after they are born you find it hatd to remember life pre baby. You will be fine :)

23 weeks today! I keep forgetting i'm pregnant at the moment. Ds cut his lip open at 7 30 am yesterday. Cue a rude awakening and a trip to minor injuries. I just don't have time to think at the moment...

Just back from the midwife and everything is good :) Only thing was that she said my uterus is measuring at 25-26 weeks and im only 24. But she said thats a good thing?? Will see what my next scan says :)
Oh and got told off for bending down/stretching over to pick stuff up..my bad.

Crazy good luck today let us know how you get on! :)

Away to shift furniture in the bedroom.. getting heat cables fitted in tomorrow to stop our pipes freezing so have to lift the frikin carpet which will probably wreck it and everyything will get super dusty argggggh. moan over

24+2

Crazy good luck today - can you get some support from cafcass (? is that right? - not been through anything similar myself but a sibling has and found them invaluable at court) - or alternatively there should be a duty solicitor that you can use, although they may ask for an adjournment...sorry if I'm talking rot - my court experience is in criminal law rather than family related law!

woowa I like the three names thing. Although we are struggling to find even one that we both like [hconfused]

Pam I know exactly what you mean. Have been having really vivid dreams recently including one where I'd done something that had affected DH's clearance at work and meant I had to be subjected to loads of tests (including invasive medical ones) and I was really worried about Bert and kept telling them "but I'm pregnant". Another one was that a relative who is currently going through a divorce was expecting a baby boy with their soon-to-be-XP. But then last night I dreamt (dreamed?) that I'd had Bert and was in the hospital afterwards, but in a different building and they wouldn't let me see "him". I went walking about in my pyjamas looking for "him" . And the day before, during the day, I had a sudden "vision" that just popped into my head, that DH and I were sat on the sofa with a newborn in a carry cot car seat thing on the carpet in the middle of the lounge, and we were (DH&I) just looking at each other, sort of "so what do we do now?"[hblush]

Weird...

22+5 and having a sick day because I'm shattered! Does that count as skiving????

I'm in SUCH a bad mood this pm. Would quite like to tell my lovely, adorable DD to eff off, just because she is always at my side and in my face and climbing on me - all I want is a cuppa on my own for 5 mins! And DS has got a couple of infantile little friends who get on my tits They're only 5 n- shouldn't really call them childish). They're in to the whole 'you're not my friend' thing which DS doesn't do at all. He says it's ok, he doesn't mind and he just ignores it, but I get the mother's red mist when I hear it. I just told one of his friends off because his mum wasn't there. And I used my proper snarly voice. Naughty. This is all something you first timers are going to have to deal with - the telling off other people's children taboo! DS can be a bit of an idiot too, don't get me wrong, but it's horrible to hear another child being unkind to him. And then no-one would let me out of my parking space and I nearly cried! Damn hormones.

So, hermione, I'm very [henvy] of your sick day. Take them while you can - you can't take sick days from DCs! I wish I could just curl up in bed with a book...

Also, your 'vision' - that's exactly what actually happened with us! We got DS home, sat on the sofa with him in the car seat and wondered what on earth to do next! Later that night (around 4am), I phoned the hospital and begged them to let me be readmitted! But we got the hang of it fairly quickly.

Who was buying a book on Amazon? I recommend 'What to Expect: the First Year' - factual and useful and doesn't learn towards any of the fashionable baby expert ideas such as Dr Spock, Gina Ford etc. Also Best Friend's Guide to Motherhood by Vicky Iovine is a good, entertaining read that helps you feel normal for experiencing whatever emotions (guilt, overwhelmedness, inadequacy) that you're feeling. And it's funny.

Woowa if this bundle turns out blue, it is likely to have 2 middle names. DH really wars to call it after his GF, but I'm not keen on the name and won't use it as a first name. But I was keen on my maiden name as a middle name and DH isn't mad keen on that. So we have a kind of truce that we are likely to use both if it's a boy - just need a first name now!

just a quick one...

Woowa - our little boy will be... name - FIL's name - My father's name - surname. I made it very clear that we're not favouring one father over the other, and whilst DP didn't want two middle names, he understood. I would put your foot down in a very calm reasonable way that it's both or none. Good luck for your scan.

22+4

lol phlossie me and DH had this conversation at the weekend. We were walking the dog and at the end of our street is a ginnle and there were 2 lads hanging around there they couldn't have been more than 10. They waited for us to get a few hundred yards passed them then started shouting stuff at us that i really don't want to repeat on here! I was gobsmaked and tbh they probably don't even understand the words they were using. But DH was saying "once we have kids and they start school, you'll get to know other mums and when stuff like that happens again, you'll be able to go up to them and tell them 'you know who their parents are and tell um off!'" tee hee

hermoine make the most of your sickday. I was bloomin knackered today and was thinking i'm owed a few sick days! Not took a single one since I've been pregnant so think i've earnt one. Only thing is feel really guilty if I have to take time off. I work for the NHS and all my patients would get cancelled, no one else would pick up the slack and I just know admin would cancel them without thinking to rebook them and let me chase after them once I get back. So sometimes it's really not worth the hassle. But what I wouldn't give to spend the day on the sofa, log burner on, plenty of brews, big bag of walkers extra crunchy salt n vinegar crisps and daytime telle! lol

ah well. I'm getting a good kicking now. Long day at work, taught one exercise class, been for a swim, walked the dog 1.5mile, sausage casserole is in the oven and now i've finally stopped with a hot Ribena and Pip is LOVING IT!!!! :)

Phlossie You have my DDs twin by the sound of it.. Mine is EXACTLY the same right now, it better just be a phase, she is driving me mad! I had a major moan about this to my mum today haha. Cant even go for a pee in peace!!

mellie hot ribena.. give me some NOW

phlossie we have a saying in our village mums circle - if you are in my house you stick to my rules. all of us expect our kids to behave in someone elses house as they would expect their kids to so we expect them to have a good old telling off by other mums if they misbehave. I had 2 round last night ages 5 and 8 and told one of them off. they soon learn.

as for the older kids in the village - yep we know them all and their parents so a good stern look, wry smile and a wag of the finger normally does the trick. that said they are all polite and dont misbehave much at all - just general teenagers frolics and def no beer or drugs! very lucky i know.

Cheers, phlossie - much appreciated.

I go through short bursts of freaking out about the baby. I was reading about feeding and bathing the other day and it all seemed very intimidating all of a sudden!! But I'm very lucky in that DH already has 2 kids from his first marriage and so knows lots about babies and is very hands on.

But still....

And I feel like I'm really 'exploding' this week - tummy feels very stretched and stretching. Starting to actually feel pregnant!

Wicket - I have to say when I first read this:

"if this bundle turns out blue, it is likely to have 2 middle names. DH really wars to call it after his GF, but I'm not keen on the name and won't use it as a first name"

I thought - he wants to call his SON after his GIRLFRIEND?? Now that's what I call a 21st century arrangement. :-D

And then I got it. _