January 2012 - Thread 4

[shonnomanom]

Can believe we are on Thread 4 already! We must chat too much

Yes Deesus I also went all misty on the link... THough those stretch marks look uncomfortably like my own... As I'm growing into this pg though I at least look a little less like a prune .

Is anyone else still in that la-la-la-fingers-in-ears state of mind about the birth? FGS, I've done it twice, I ought to be - I dunno - practising breathing or visualising candles or something, but at the moment I'm kind of pretending it's not something that's going to happen to me

The other thing is that when people ask when it's due and I say mid-Jan, they all go: "Oh, not long now, then!" But I still feel it's so far away that it's not worth thinking about yet... [la-la-la]

I'm exactly the same - got hypnobirthing cd's to listen to and active birth exercises to do and haven't done ANY OF IT. La la la....

redhead I totally relate to your ishoos with your mum-My mum and I had a very stormy period of transition from being "mum and daughter" to "grown up daughter with child and being grandma" Now dd is 4 I have much a deeper better relationship with mum and I undertsand it a lot better but we have had 2 terrible terrible rows since I became a mum which nearly broke us apart totally. It was dreadful, tread carefully is my advice. Your Mum has to make a transition as well as you. If you can achieve what I did with, tears, name calling, shouting, swearing and slamming doors a little more quietly, then good luck to you. I Needed to mum to realise that she needed to be grandma not matriarch. It was tough, I basically told mum to back off and let me make my own mistakes, that I appreciated her advice but this was my life, my baby.

It's tough and I dont' envy you. Remember your Mum is only trying to help. Interfereing controlling old bags they may be but it's done from love. I wouldn't do it the way i did it again, I still regret not biting my lip instead of losing my temper.

No,you're totally right, and I'm biting my lip like a demon. My sister hasn't spoken to my mum for 8 yrs or so now and it's caused so many more problems than it's solved... which is why I try and just be polite most of the time. But she is SO DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH!!!!!

I know it makes me sound like a fruitcake, but I'm actually looking forward to the birth. I blame the hypno CD and book, but I'm all hippy-like and zen about it. Dh is grateful, everyone else keeps shooting these "wait till Januray" looks at each other, but I don't care - I'd rather be happy in my ignorance :)

Ugh - I'm really snuffly and snotty and keep sneezing. I thought it was more pregnancy mucus related stuff, but suspect I may have a mild cold. As long as it stays mild I don;t mind too much, but I could really do without getting ill at the moment.

I'm sneezing too constantly!!! don't think its a cold tho, just pg mucus, mmmmmmm tasty!

Makescakes: wait till January

Fish we went through something like that too with my DD1. I remember a huge blazing row when she was about 6 wks old and she wouldn't take a bottle and I had planned to go back to work out of home.
My mum was all "You can't let her win, she's got to know you mean business, leave it to me." So we went out for half an hour, leaving my clever-clogs mother with a bottle of EBM and a screaming baby. We came back to a contrite mother with a bottle of EBM and a screaming baby.
It's one of the things they never tell you in the books but having your own children completely changes your relationship and you both have to relearn. My DM had this attitude: "Well I did it this way and you both turned out alright, so my way must be the right way." It has taken her many years to learn that what worked for her may not be working for me, or maybe I just want to make my own mistakes. Oh, and that bringing up kids is a tad different a generation on.
I think that at some point a heart-to-heart / blazing row / letter has to come if the situation is making you uncomfortable, to avoid resentment growing. We still have blips but on the whole it is great now and I can enjoy her being a GM.

redhead good luck again...hope you enjoy it!

redhead My relationship with my Mum and thus both parents is a bit awkward. Constant criticism, will often just get phonecalls fro her because she thinks I might be dead/injured too...mental. I also find myself repeating "I love her to bit, and she loves me, she just different". At the moment she's really pleased that I'm still losing weight as I'm quite obviously so fat I'm at risk of some hideous disease "I was a size 6 at your age, and after having had 2 children, so you should be". DH is astounded at how stupid her attitude is and is so temped, if anything's said in earshot (she's not usually that 'stupid') just to yell at her. Plus, he knows how paranoid I am about the weightloss.

mum2be good luck to you too! The weightloss thing is making me anxious about my 25wks check (still -2lb on pre-pg weight). I know I'm eating more healthily and exercising more, but it just doesn't seem right. I've tried eating more, and it doesn't help as I then get MS back...

makescakes I hope it is just the snuffles. So many 'little colds' going round it's unfunny. Feel lucky to have only had 2 so far. Must ring GPs about flu-jab asap.

Had very weird dreams last night. One about being kissed (and rather liking it) by a work collegue who's 11 years younge than me (as in 19...), on a wooden kitchen table (seems to be important)...in the middle of a house party. And another one about shagging some random guy as he was in my room (as in halls at uni) when I got back from haivng a shower...in an italian restaurant...remember thinking "Oh god, ok then, I like sex, so what the hell". Only his hand then fell off (post-sex) and I tried to hide it (binned it) incase it was a crime by spraying everywhere with Dettox mould and mildew remover (the hand had left blood in trails on a rug/table)...worked very well in dream. Anyone think I might need psychiatric help here???

The flu jab doesn;t seem to be available till the end of September. Perhaps I should start drinking elderberry cordial now just in case it is a cold...?

As to dreams, I'll swap you. Mine was a bizarre and confusing mish mash where I was travelling across a desert, then I had to swim in a cold river, but it was washing people under a bridge and some of them were doing it on purpose because they were suicidal and then I had to get onto this ship from the water, but the only way I could do it was climbing a very tall, very narrow iron ladder that looped back on itself at the top so I'd be hanging upside down and I couldn;t do it because I was pregnant and DH was on the ship already, but had to steer it, so couldn;t help me - terribly tiring and stressful.

Plus the cat kept pressing his cold wet nose against my face during the night to get attention. He ended up being shut in the bathroom by himself.

Good dream Oiesha

Right guys, I need your help with something-I simply cannot be on here today, I need to to poke me, shout at me, ignore me and nag me to get off Mumsnet and stop procrastinating and do some bloody work. Mountains of paper work come with the first few weeks of this job and I seriously need to get my head down and sort it-I start on monday ffs. It kept me awake worrying about it all last night and thats not healthy or helpful, I was up at 5 contemplating making a start and I wish I had because I fell back alseep on the sofa and now feel grot.

I need to do this, because if I dont I will worry more. I am more than capabubble. :)

red - the big day! Good luck! We did the 2 day NCT course and that was fine. Just make sure you arrange to meet people as soon as possible afterwards just to poke it into action. Gosh, hope they're all nice after all my "best thing I ever did" talk.

Speaking of which, fish get off here and do some work!

oiesha - mmm, good if totally mad dream! I dreamt I had a boy, but he was already a toddler, had him christened at a bin on a big roundabout near us, and the next thing he was a stroppy teenage girl, and it turned out my mum was the surrogate mother for her. Hmm. Don't really want to analyse all of that!

Ahh, mothers, eh? Even when mine just asks how DD is I feel there's an implied criticism there. She's like butterfly's mum in that she thinks we let DD "win". Given that I was a totally spoilt brat, I don't see that she actually has much of a leg to stand on, to be honest! Just think, in 30ish years time it'll be offspring on here having this exact same conversation!

GO DO SOME WORK FISH!

Start with a list - lists are great for productivity and peace of mind. You're not allowed back on here until you've done at least five things on it. Now shoo.

Good luck red :)

Ergh.

All I want to do today is sleep and weep. Abi didn't do her usual 4am waking me up either, but have felt a few bootings, so not worried, yet am STILL knackered. Mostly with the crying at the moment. No real reason for it, other than having to eat something, and reading a very loverly story about a rescue cat (madcatlady) being rescued as a kitten...and that set me off. Head hurts too, and now I'm facing being at work until 7pm, but seriously? I've faced worse...

I'm now beginning to feel jealous of all of you that want to eat...

Must toughen up. I am a double-ard-bastard, I AM!!!

Loving your dream fryn. No, don't look too much into them...that way madness DOES lie. makescakes Dreams like that frustrate me. I often find myself feeling the frustration thoroughout the day and realising that is stems back to the dream.

fish, hope the lack of posting means you're doing some work! As cakes says, make a list, and set yourself a target number of things to achieve. Once you've done them you can reward yourself with a and a few mins on MN.

[appreciates the irony of handing out advice about being disciplined when I 'm on here all the time - but trust me, it's a carefully calibrated system of tasks and rewards. And I'm about to go into the most stressful 4-6 weeks of my working year so I'm cutting myself some slack at the moment]

Just thought I'd pop in to say congratulations on all the pinks, blues and yellows. We had the 20 wk scan on the 8th and all looks well. It's a boy... or girl for sure!!

I hope all the pain, painful relationships with mothers, sickness and stress goes away soon for all of you. I've been told it will all be worth it in the end but I guess we'll see soon enough.

I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself too. Too much going on and not enough time to get it all done. We've done nothing for our impending arrival, although I'm hoping to get lots of hand me downs from various family members who have recently popped. I will have to buy a pram of some discription and a cot I guess but other than that I hope to spend very little (which is good as we have no money to spend anyway).

I dont get on here often and post even less but I must say it's really lovely to catch up on everyones news.

Stay safe ladies x

fish the consultant appointment did not go to plan. As expected, he refused ELCS and said as long as there is nothing physically wrong with the womb or the incision from last delivery - then its VBAC all the way. His words: 'if everyone had anxiety then we'd have to close down the labour wards and open up a new hospital full of operating theatres, hahaha'. Felt like he was belittling us for being too posh to push or something, which is sooooo not the case! I mean, he's the head of obstetrics and was called in to help during delivery! What a meanie!

Anyway, I could barely talk, I was trying so hard not to let the tears fall, trying to discuss previous birth and how close we came to tragedy. DH was fighting our corner as best he could, but this guy was having none of it!

Got to go back at end of December to discuss again. Things may change. So I have resigned myself to the fact that I am going to have to man-up, and if we have to go through it all again like last time and have EMCS, then so be it. I will be stressing all the way from now until delivery though!

Sorry for the long rant ladies! My brother has offered to pay for hypnobirthing - has anyone got any experience of it? bit hippy dippy for me maybe, but it does sound good. But would it be worth the money if we ended up having EMCS anyway, and weren't able to put any of it into practice?

Feel like I need a big bar of chocolate and a bottle of wine. will settle for a huge bar of chocolate and some non alcoholic fizz later!

hello everyone.......

so.....

i had my scan.....

(fish!! stop reading this and go and do some work!!!)

and the baby is all healthy...a bit too bloody healthy. It is MASSIVE. It is bigger than the 95percentile in every category except it's legs. Which means it'll be a stumpy chubber. Never mind!! Hope it's head doesn't grow too much more

and......

I'm secretly over the moon and dead pleased...

because....

it's a BOY!!!!!!! Hooray!!!!!! I always wanted a boy first for lots of reasons, and although I obviously wouldn't mind if it was a girl at all as long as it was healthy, I am dead chuffed. So happy Cried my eyes out like an idiot for hours. The pictures were beautiful and so clear and sweet. It has a little turned up nose! So there we go. Thanks everyone for all your support over the last couple of weeks!! I'm off to update the list with my team blue piglet

yay!!!!!!

sorry for x-post miamama and sorry for your news

Congrats to red :-) So pleased you're happy

Mia - I've posted on here before about hypnobirthing - I'm only in the beginning stages, but it has been so helpful and I have done 'standard' hypnotherapy before. I've also spoken to three other women at my baby group who've had it with the same woman I'm going to.

I'm sure none of the opthers want to hear my hippy ramblings about it again, so please PM me with any questions and I'd be happy to answer them. But the short answer is that yes, it can help even if you have to have an EMCS again.

Fantastic News on your baby Boy Red!!!

Miamama sorry about your birthing worries x (((hugs)))

Hope everyone is feeling ok x

I have highjacked my mums washing machine whist she's on holiday. Got the pram and the bouncer stripped and washed down. When all that dries its the baby blankets/sheets turn next

redhead I'm actually grinning like an idiot on your behalf - your enthusiasm is contagious. Really pleased that all's well (with you and your GIANT baby!) after all the NHS admin faff. My little one has a smallish head and shortish legs but a tubby belly so just like me then . Our scan measurements were all between about 45-60% on the charts though so there's time for pamplemousse to develop more of a mesomorph physique like DH!

OMG - ghost, we did it again. Sproglet was around about 50% on everything except for a big fat tummy!

eek sorry mia didn't see your post. Whatever you decide, I hope things go much better for you this time. However, I would say (and if there's one thing MN has taught me then it's this) - don't accept this consultant's word as the final answer if you don't want to. Insist on a second opinion, talk to your midwife, see your GP - but don't spend months fretting about this because one grumpy asshat consultant decided that your fears don't count. If you decide to fight the decision then just make it more of a problem for them to disagree than to schedule your ELCS.

Having said all that - if you decide to try things naturally at first, then there are lots of things that can help - antenatal yoga, active birth classes, hypnobirthing etc - basically anything that will help you go into the birthing process feeling in control and calm will help.

[On to the bit where I'm on tenuous ground due to lack of personal experience/scientific knowledge, so take it or leave it as you see fit]

My yoga instructor has written a book called 'The Good Birth Companion' (which I haven't read yet) and talked about the 'primal brain' at our class this week. The idea is that if you are full of adrenalin then your endorphins can't kick in and do the work they're designed to do to ease the process. And if your neo-cortex (the bit of the brain that humans use for talking/processing/thinking) is busy fretting away then your primal brain won't be able to assert itself and get on with the business of being in labour by flooding your system with the necessary hormones like oxytocin etc. Does that make sense?

at cakes.