Just finished a feed, so here goes.....
I am still totally overwhelmed and amazed by everything that happened. Some of you will know that I didn?t have the best of starts when DD was born nearly 4 years ago. Had a horrific birth, lots of subsequent trauma, a 9 day hospital stay, blood transfusion, incontinence, feeding difficulties, anaemia, bad tear, etc etc. The trauma gave me such bad PND that I ended up in a mother and baby psychiatric unit for 3 months. We didn?t think we?d ever have another child it was such a traumatic experience.
Having got off all my drugs and anti depressants after about 2 years of struggle, we came to the decision of trying for another baby. We didn?t want DD to be an only child, and we were starting to enjoy being parents with all the rewards and fulfilment it brings. So, 9 months ago I got pregnant! We thought we might go for an elective c-section, to try and avoid the trauma from last time. But when this was flatly refused by the consultant, I started looking into alternative options and became more and more interested in natural birth.
Took a course in hypnobirthing and practised relaxation and breathing techniques every night with DH. I became convinced that I could do it, my body was designed to do it, I was calm and relaxed about the birth.
On Wednesday last week I had a bloody show in the morning, then felt pretty sick. I thought the grotty feeling was just because I?d not slept well the night before. But I also started getting slight crampy, period-type feelings low down. I used my breathing techniques and felt ok. By 2:30 I thought I?d better start timing them, and they were 15 mins apart. I phoned DH, but told him to stay at work because nothing much was happening. But he insisted on coming home, which was nice as he then took over looking after DD and I could just relax to my hypnobirthing music.
By 8:30 the surges were between 1 and 3 mins apart. We phoned the hospital but were told the labour ward was full and we couldn?t come in!! I tried really hard not to panic, as they told us we had to go to the other hospital, the one where DD had been born and where I?d been a psychiatric patient last time (never wanted to go back there). But I did manage to stay calm. They assigned us a room with a pool, and the whole atmosphere was very calm, with dim lights and I set up my music player which played soft gentled music. I stayed upright as much as possible, moving around and trying different positions ? lying over birth ball, leaning against the wall etc. I used my breathing techniques to get through each powerful surge. The midwives were very hands-off and spoke very quietly to each other ? I was hardly aware they were there. They were very respectful of our birth plan.
They said they could examine me, but it was my choice and I didn?t have to, but as I wanted to know how things were going I agreed. I thought the midwife would say I was about 2-3 cm but she said ?if you want to use the pool you need to get in now as you are over 9cm and this baby is coming!? I couldn?t believe it! So I got into the pool. The warm water was lovely, but the contractions were getting stronger and stronger and I was struggling to maintain my calm breathing. I started to get more noisy at that point! Felt a huge amount of pressure, and then a massive ?pop? which was my waters breaking. Things really stepped up a notch then, and the contraction strength went through the roof. I asked for gas and air because I felt I was losing control and the pain was unbearable. The gas and air really helped and took the intensity out of the contractions. I could still feel them but I felt quite far away and removed from the situation. A few minutes later I felt a massive amount of pressure and baby?s head emerging. Then his body slid out, and I was told to carefully move backwards. I then reached down and lifted my little boy out of the water! Within 30 seconds he started crying. And I held him there for quite a while just staring at him and stroking his skin, which felt so so soft.
They waited for the cord to stop pulsing, and then clamped and cut it.
Then we waited for the placenta but it wouldn?t come out. After 30 minutes I got out of the water and they tried to encourage the placenta to come. It still wouldn?t come so I agreed to the injection. After 40 minutes it still hadn?t come out, and they were threatening having to go into theatre for surgical removal. At this I was terrified and the pain was awful, so I asked for gas and air, and then pushed with all my might. Thank goodness, it came out! The midwife said a huge blood clot had formed in front of it, which was preventing it from coming out. I was relieved there was a reason, because the midwives seemed to think at first I just wasn?t making enough effort to push it out! But it came out, and then we enjoyed an hour or so just me, DH and baby to relax and get to know each other. Baby had his first feed and we were so relieved when he latched on and sucked happily.
We were allowed home the next day. I felt a bit shaky and wobbly, but very happy. Robin has fed great ever since (a bit too well, I am shattered!). So grateful for our relaxed, calm experience.