Charters Anonymous Graduates Volume 2! – No more temping!

[Iwish]

A nice cosy place to accommodate our growing bumps and little wrigglers.

oooh LadyG! Congratulations!! How exciting. I am also that she's weaning now, my goodness the time has zoomed past. Makes sense, she was July born wasn't she?

DD is now 19 weeks + and we are having loads of firsts just now - she started rolling front to back a couple of days ago, the increasing dexterity is fascinating, and today.... total miracle: put nearly asleep baby in cot and she WENT TO SLEEP. My legs went all jittery in excited disbelief and I phoned my dad to tell him . Dad asked if that meant DH could come back to our bed (he's had the spare room single mattress on the floor and me and DD have the bed) and I said, no I am going to have 5ft all to myself at least once . Moot point anyway as I'm only working on the cot for daytime naps just now, can't face the extra faff and effort at 3am.

We hit 4 month sleep regression like a truck. Perfect wake once a night baby vanished. 3 weeks ish of waking every 45mins to 1.5 hours 1.5 hours felt good . Then a stinking cold so she slept badly because she was so bunged up, but last night was a vast improvement. Fingers crossed for tonight.

jaggy wow to 24 weeks, that is the viability milestone, congrats. When are you starting ML?

MrsP I hope you get the tongue tie sorted really soon. Hope it helps. One of my NCT friends DS had tongue tie that was dealt with after a few weeks and he pretty much had to relearn how to bf but is all going great now.

to GetDown, iwish, MrsA, terrys, pippa, nix, raven and anyone else I've fogotten

Brain fug very bad. The other day I saw a light through the catflap and instead of correctly thinking, oh that's next door's security light, I honestly though, oh look, the cats have a torch now FFS!

And the house is on the market now. Gah. Trying to keep it tidy...

Hope you have a good night spilt

Sounds like a lot going on for you just now :)

Mat leave starts the first week in April, so only a few months to go. Seems like ages some days and very soon on others!

Am quite looking forward to (hopefully) a few weeks to spend more time with DS, I miss him a lot when I go off to work. He sometimes says 'No want Mummy go work' now (He's 2.3) which makes me a bit :( but 2 seconds later I know he's having fun with DH! He's been a bit like that this week with me having been off for a week last week.

Speaking of work, I'm here just now and totally slacking this week....

Sooooooo sorry to have gone awol for ages! Good to hear all your news - what an epic 12 months (and more) we've all had. Congrats Lady - just need my DP to do same mow :)

Can't believe this time last yr I was still temping and obssessing about cervical mucus!

So, Matthew arrived at 4.26pm on Tuesday 6 December weighing a healthy 9lb 3oz. He arrived by crash section, so some of that weight was caused by drug fluids plus he was 2 weeks overdue and he dropped to 7lb 15oz once we got home (resulting in a return to hospital, sigh).

To be honest, it's been an epic hellish month (he's 4 weeks 3 days now), combined with xmas and recovering from a major op where they had to go into the top of my uterus and cut through the placenta as my uterus was tucked under my bladder in a very rare complication that meant he was never coming out naturally or my bladder would have ruptured, hence labour did not progress (my clever bodyknew this).
However i did start off at home in the pool and was in active labour for 16 hours on tens/breathing/gas & air. Poor DP's fingers were so sore!!
If you have a spare 20mins, my full story is here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1336997-Nov-2011-aches-pains-and-waddling-soon-to-be-cuddles-and-swaddling

I am very envious of those bf. I tried and tried but poor DS would not suck strongly enough to get a lot of milk (poss due to post section headache/pain) and is a very hungry baby, so he ended up screaming in hunger every time he went to the boob.
Went they threatened to admit him on a drip at 10pm on children's ward with poor DD with us and exhausted, having had no food since 4pm, I caved in and gave formula top up.
He is now back to 9lb 6oz and I am mixed feeding - probably 30%bm and 70% ff. I am very sad about it and have had numerous bf supporters to the house and on the phone - all agree there is nothing I am doing wrong, his latch is great and sadly I have lots of milk (just don't express very well), poor little man just will not suck and possibly has associations with the hospital/section/labour.
So, it's bottles for us. I'm more sad cos I never bf DD at all but with DS I did manage it for a few days (just didn't give him enough) and when he got it right, it was amazing and i loved it. Sadly memories will be all that I have

That aside, we are emerging from the newborn hell and he slet 11pm till 6.30am last night!

Hugs to all.

Ahh it's nice to hear from people again. I haven't really got a thread going anywhere else on here and it's always nice to pop back every now and again and see how people are getting on.

Well done MrsA for surviving the first month! It does get easier here on in I think. Sorry about the bf, but please don't beat yourself up about it. DD was the same - she just wouldn't suck hard enough, and would give up too early without getting enough. We were also threatened with hospital and drips and things - formula was right for her I believe. I am lucky in that this time round DS took to bf really well, but I don't think really there was anything I did differently except maybe for the calmer quicker birth experience than I had last time. Anyway, don't feel bad, your DS will do just fine. Love your pics he is so precious!

jaggy so pleased to hear all is going well. I seem to remember the second half of pregnancy went much quicker than the first! You will have your baby in your arms before you know it! Will be good to have more time with your DS too when you start ML.

Hi to spilt! Great about the falling asleep by herself in the cot. That's a really good sign. If you can put them down whilst still awake and they can settle themselves it's really great. Sorry you had 4 month sleep regression.... slightly worried now, as DS will be 4 months next week.... oh dear! Not prepared for bad nights again. Just getting used to sleeping again!

Lady congrats on getting engaged that is such lovely news ! Good luck with the weaning. Are you doing purees, or chunks or food? I want to try BLW this time round, as DD is so picky with her food and I think part of the reason was I pushed purees at her too much.

Took DS to be weighed this morning, he has dropped centiles so am slightly worried, even though he's still just under 50th. The HV annoyed me by hinting that formula or early weaning may be necessary, but am going to ignore! Am going to start offering both boobs at a feed again instead of just one. Hopefully his weight will pick up again soon.

getdown thanks for your comments, they do help to sdeal with the guilt. I suspect the long long labour and traumatic entry may have affected him. My wise DSis said I should not stress and just enjoy him!

I did blw with DD and it was fab. Apart from porridge and yoghurt we never spoonfed DD anything. She had sushi at 7months old! It was a great experience and we'll do it again for DS.

Oh my goodness MrsA what a horrendous experience for you, and how horrible to be so shat upon by your IM. I hope you so find out her reasoning so you aren't left wondering. Big hugs and thank heaven for c sections when you need them. So sorry the feeding didn't work out as you hoped, I can only imagine how disappointing that must be, esp after getting a little taste of it for a few days and loving it. But you are doing very much the best thing for DS and I'm sure he will do great just like your DD. Look forward to the BLW. And enjoy the knowledge that if you want to you can leave DS from time to time with DP or someone else

jaggy I had a chart which I ticked off the days - my countdown to ML!

GetDown hello! I too love coming back to check in here and catch up. I feel like I know you all
I wouldn't worry too much about the HV and the weigh ins. They are obsessed with the bloody graphs. Is DS happy, alert, giving lots of wet and dirty nappies and putting on some weight? If so I'm sure he is fine. They go through phases where they put on less weight and I'm sure it's because they are putting the energy into mental development rather than physical development at times. We found 3-4 months she was really finding her hands and there was lots of progress there. And remember that breast milk and formula are both far richer in calories than carrot sticks/baby rice etc so will be best if there is any concern about weight gain. Can you try offering him feeds slightly more frequently incase he's not twigging when he's hungry?

Looking forward to trying BLW before long. Not looking forward to weaning poos!!

Thanks for the message spilt. We are also using washable nappies and baby wearing in a sling, so feeling I'm doing some good things. DD also has a Moby mini to wear her dolls in, so we cause heads to turn when out and about!

Washable nappies are great but they are so big and bulky on his tiny frame. Anyone else using them and if so - do they hinder mobility like rolling/crawling?

Aaw love the image of you and DD with your babies in wraps MrsA. Make sure your DP gets some pics for you to coo over in the years to come!

We are partly in washable nappies, all birth to potty sizes so fairly large. I didn't start on them until she was about 2 months (so 10-11lb ish) I think as they were just too big beforehand. They look comfy to me, a nice big cushion to sit on
DD has started rolling now at 4.5 mo so I would say it's not hindering her at all.

BLW: as you've done this before what would you recommend as a good few starter meals when we get there? It's on my mind as I'm reading the book at the mo. Was wondering about roast chicken and giving her strips of meat and some steamed veg like carrot batons, brocolli florets, roasted sweet potato wedges/parsnip. Does that sound sensible?
What else could we do? Any lunch ideas? Was thinking about toast fingers or strips of pitta and cucumber sticks, cooked but cooled carrot.... not sure about protein. Ideas gratefully received!

spilt I have loads of tips re blw and more than happy to share. I'll be back later with lots of info!

fab, thanks

Does anyone else fret a bit about their way of parenting? As our babies are now all 4-5months, me and my other mum friends are all starting to differ more in parenting styles as new things come up, weaning, sleeping, routines etc
Lots of people have started on baby rice and purees now. People are starting to put babies in their own rooms. Some are instigating routines and doing some CC or sleep training.

And we are just pootling along still, no plans to wean for a little while yet, still cosleeping, no plans to get her into a cot at the moment (miracle moment the other day not repeated - tried, loads of crying, I couldn't bear it so stopped), still bf on demand, still just going to bed with her when she's tired (usually around 8-8.30pm, suits me I'm knackered!), no routine to speak of just feed when hungry and sleep when tired, still bfing to sleep (I feel guiltiest about this - wondering if I am being selfish and taking the easy route and really should be trying to teach her how to sleep alone).

Our parents are starting to make odd comments about rods and backs and raise eyebrows at DH having a separate bed (lucky sod who doesn't get baby disturbances at night!) and I was starting to feel insecure and worried I was doing it all wrong.

Then read the Baby Whisperer and felt shit. Tried again with the cot malarky and it broke my heart to see her sob and howl for a cuddle. Put her in bed with me, offered boob, she nuzzled up, fed, calmed and dozed off with her hand and cheek resting on my boob.

I'm just doing it however feels instinctively right for us and me, DH and DD are all very happy. Until we try to conform a bit more to other parenting styles or a more regimented approach.

Please reassure me I'm not damaging her or anything and that it's ok to do it our way? Or should we be trying harder to have more structure?

Well I did pretty much the same with DS, bar the co-sleeping and he's fine at 27 months I think!

I got hassle for not weaning till about 6 months and bfing past age 1 (actually he stopped at about age 2 when I got pg). He can go to sleep all by himself and (touch wood) sleeps great unless poorly. Who knows what DC2 will be like but I think the rod for back is not guaranteed :)

oh and i fed to sleep till he wouldn't do it any more. :)

spilt I will return later (5 week old so no routine here) and give lots of thoughts etc but no - you are doing nothing wrong. Have faith.

hehe I remember 5 weeks. Am amazed you've made it to the pc! Or are you hiding in the loo with a phone?

Thanks jaggy, glad it grew you a good sleeper, here's hoping!
xx

Spilt DS is just the same as DD - feeds to sleep around 7pm, sleeps soundly for 30-45mins and then wakes and is unsettled/cries till dream feed at 11 then sleeps till 6am. Means evenings are hard (DP has him tonight) but not as hard as DD as she was not a hungry baby, so would not be settled by milk whereas as DS will take more milk so is marginally easier to settle. But so far he is sleeping through (went midnight till 8.30am the other day), so i am not complaining! DP away next week though - am dreading it as he feeds around the same time DD has her tea, bath and bedtime routine!

So, firstly, routines and the like:

DD was ff but apart from that, I treated her like a bf baby, fed on demand, let her sleep whenever she wanted and did not wean till 6 months. All my baby cafe friends were feeding baby rice from 4 months. DD found her own routine over time and by 12 weeks was sleeping 7-7 (but she was not a hungry baby). We didn't co-sleep but we didn't do any form of controlled crying (I couldn't) and personally think it's not appropriate until a baby is at least 7 or 8 months old.
Personally, I will try not to wean DS till he is 6 months but I also know that all babies are different and a week or two here or there will not make huge differences and he is a very hungry baby.
At this age you cannot 'ruin' a baby - they need love and affection. IMO once you are heading towards 2 or 3, then perhaps look at routines especially if school is looming (and maybe make sure you and DH have a solid relationship and he is still happy to be out of the bed, but given what you went through, I bet he's just happy to go with what you need to do).

If you get hassle, smile and say 'oh that's interesting, I'll have a chat to DH about that' and then do your own thing.
Everyone is different and those parents who feed baby rice at 4 months are not wrong either, just doing what works for them.

BLW - just what we did, may not work for everyone:

Provided they can sit up unaided and hold their head well and put food to their lips, they are ready. If it is before 24 weeks, stick to fruit and veg only. Once you've passed 24 weeks - except for honey and some other minor things (can't remember now) they can eat anything.
When you first start, think BIG. The biggest risk of choking is on things that are pea shaped, like peas (of course), blueberries, small hard chunks of carrot etc - I'd leave these for another few months.

DD started by holding half a banana in her hand then she tried a massive chunk of watermelon (no pips). They will take it into their mouths and learn to chew and swallow (remember, the teeth are all there, just under the gum). At first it seems scary but they will gum the food at the front of the mouth and gradually learn to chew it to the back of the mouth. There is a school of thought that says spoon feeding purees in carries it's own risk of choking as the puree is pushed to the back of the mouth before they know what to do with it.

Early days, also think easy to hold - steamed carrots, green beans, strips of meat, tender-stem broccoli, most soft fruits, large chunks of roast potato. Be prepared for LOTS of mess. Most food will end up unswallowed on the floor but we loved this stage and took DD out to eat alot. She would sit happily sucking on roast beef and veg and we cleaned up as much of the mess as we could and left larger tips.
Fairly soon, just feed what you eat, provided it can be picked up (and that includes mashed potato!). Think healthy, fresh and no salt/sugar.

Good foods that worked for us included toast fingers spread with mashed avocado, raw salmon strips at Yo Sushi (she loves this still now), roasted veg, sweet potato mash, pitta bread dipped into cream cheese, tenderstem brocoli steamed and covered with home-made cheese sauce (you will need to make a roux from scratch as packet is too salty). DP still makes huge batches of cheese sauce and we freeze DD-sized portions. Watching her munch on a long piece of brocoli dripping with home made cheese sauce is excellent!

Don't forget, wholemeal bread can expand and fill the tummy too much, so white bread is actually best for babies.

Yoghurts - I have a thnk about yoghurts - it saddens me that most are filled with sugar. Plum and rachel's organic are sweetened with fruit and a baby under one does not need any added sugar.
Plum especially is a great range. They use quinoa in much of their range, all organic and their baby porridges are excellent - using oats, spelt and quinoa. ready Brek is also great - just oats and wheat.
Don't stress if you spoon feed some things in btw and be prepared that they all become fussy at some point.
Just let your DD choose what she eats - she will not starve herself and some days she will eat nothing, some days she will eat lots. Offer a feed after every meal (bf or ff so early days can be hard and time-consuming but they soon get the hang of things)

Think that's all for now but when you start, give me a shout for more tips.

Thanks MrsA I feel much better after reading your post. I guess it's just the nagging insecurity I get when I feel like I'm the odd one out and I worry that I'm ballsing everything up
Am practicing smile, nod and ignore.

Thanks also for all the BLW pointers, I've read the book by Gill Rapley and picked up on the theory that finger foods first minimises choking risk. The meal suggestions and piece sizes is very helpful. I'm quite looking forward to weaning, I think it'll be exciting, but also sad as it's the end of her total dependence on me. I guess that's just normal though - it's always going to be sad when one phases ends and exciting when another starts.

I'm sure I'll be back with more questions in a few weeks!

Hello lovely ladies, hope you're all doing well.

We have another batch of colds chez spilt. I'm not used to catching every bug that goes round, I'm hardly ever ill, but it just goes to show what tiredness does to your immune system. Poor Freya is utterly stuffed up again, snot everywhere and worn out. She's been screaming through the night which is totally out of character, she never cries in the night, just boob hunts drowsily and feeds back to sleep. Slurped the calpol off the spoon though!! mmm strawberry!

No one wants to buy our house. Or even blardy look at it Oh well, maybe I shall just go ahead and plant my broad beans and courgettes etc. Would be pissed off to hold off in case we move and then still be here in September having a sadly empty veg plot.

Hello everyone, I've not been on here for a while!

Abigail is 15 weeks old today, where did that time go?! I loved reading your post about lack of routine spilt as we are pretty much the same. She eats when she's hungry and sleeps when she's tired and I also worry that I am doing something wrong so it's very reassuring to see others are the same.

Thank you for all that info on blw MrsA, really useful. I'm looking forward to getting to that stage but at the same time I don't want to wish my life away!

Things are mostly good here and loving being a mummy. Some days I feel really low though, do you think this is normal? I think sometimes this completely different life I am leading is still a bit of a shock!

Hope everyone is getting on ok.

Hi all, just a quick check in.

28 wk midwife appointment tomorrow for me.

Am feeling very pregnant this week due to a very wriggly person wedged firmly under my ribs and having hiccups. :)

Hey ladies!

Long time no speak. Hope you are all ok?

jaggy wow I can't believe you are 28 weeks already! The hiccups are funny aren't they. Joshua used to get them twice a day.

mrsp I have those days too. They are mostly when Joshua has been up half the night and I'm tired.

Joshua is 19w3d now. He is a nightmare most of the time but love him to bits. He is a very cry'y baby and whinges most of the day. He cries when he's hungry, tired, bored, wants a cuddle. Cries when I put him down, cries if he hears a noise he doesn't like etc. he was doing well at sleeping. Bed at 8:30 feed at 5:00 then up at 8:30am. Now he goes to bed at 7:30, feed at 10:30 and 4:00 and up at 8:00ish but he wakes up crying for attention sometimes 3 times a night.

He does have a gorgeous little smile and giggle tho which melts my heart.

We are still BF which I am so proud of. Not introduced any food yet and would like to wait till 6 months (although he did lick my toast this morning).

Waves to everyone. Hope all mummy's babies and bumps are doing well.

Hi all

Hope you are well. My gorgeous DD is 14 weeks today and how time has flown. She is a very good baby and things have been very easy with her but having 2 is hard work!

spilt re routine, I think it depends on you, what I take out of your comment is that you are happy with the way things are - if thats the case, why care what anyone else thinks. Yes at some point you might want to change things but once you decide that if you pick a plan and stick to it consistently then you can change her behavioural patterns. Let me know if you ever need routine advice - I am a GF worshipper and I need routine in my life so both mine have been trained!

BLW we did with DS and I intend to do with DD too. Top foods are:

• steamed veg batons - carrots, broccoli, squash, asparagus
• breads shaped like soldiers - pitta, toast, potato cakes, breadsticks, naan bread
• rice cakes
• batons of cheese - cheddar has a good consistency for this
• fruits - strawberries, steamed apple slices, banana (although

not too much banana and avocado as apparently these are very filling foods and can make baby think they are full and cut down on milk)

• rice cakes spread with anything mushy - cream cheese, avocado
• strips of meat - DS had no teeth until 11mo but he was still able to chomp on a piece of meat without them!
• apparently you can make porridge and set it in a square container in the fridge and then cut it up into slices which they can hold
• bitesize cereals like weetabix and oatibix dipped in a little milk are easy to hold

HTH!

to everyone else - hope everything is well!

Hello ladies, how are you all?

It's been ages since I last visited but good to catch up on your news. Seth is 9mths old, he's amazing, I'm enjoying him so much I've decided to put work on hold for a few years (one year has almost gone already!). I'm still BFing (with a bottle of ff thrown in most days). After a tough start to BFing I ditched the nipple shields when he was 4mths, and it's got easier and easier since then. I have loads of sympathy for anyone struggling, I was in such a state in the first 3wks (I don't think the post-emcs codiene helped my state of mind!).

MrsA I read your birth story and realised you're the same lady who posted on the vbac yahoo group, which I follow. I hope the IM's breach of contract can be sorted out by your solicitor so you and your DH can concentrate all your energy on your lovely new baby Matthew. Huge congratulations!

Lady congratulations on your engagement and have fun with the wedding plans.

Split we're also going with what feels right. Seth responds really well to routine so bed is always 7pm, and he's slept through from 7mths with hardly any input from us. We did BLW to start with and really enjoyed the experience. He's a chunky boy and loves his food so we do now feed him some lumpy mush with the finger foods (he sits there with his mouth wide open, banging the high chair for more!) but we never force anything on him. We're having to start some discipline because he keeps nipping me with his bottom teeth, I'm practising "no!". All babies are different and it's about finding what works for yours.

Congratulations to all the new mummies! And good luck to the mums-to-be.

xx

Hello all (and hello NYD - ukvbac is a great group. One of the lovely ladies there has privately emailed me and is helping me with my case. Turns out that the hospital forgot to get my permission for the section, so i may also have a case against them. not sure i'll persue but nice to know I have multiple avenues).

I am enjoying DS immensely now. He is 10 weeks tomorrow (time going far too fast) and is 12.5lbs. He gives us great gummy smiles and DD adores him. There is a pic of me wearing him in a sling about a week ago, along with DD, on my MN profile.

Bf didn't work out for me whjich makes me terribly sad but I am coming to terms with the fact that whilst I adore being pg, birth and feeding are just not things I am skilled at but DP and I do make beautiful babies :)
Having had numerous consultants and bf supporters come to the house, the upshot is, DS is just not/never was interested in my boobs. He could not suss out what to do and we couldn't force him without hijm getting distressed. he is a milk monster and taking big bottles.
I am still expressing milk for him, so can say that for 2 months he's had some of my milk every day - although it is less and less now, as I sort of expected. DD only got colostrum, so it's better than nowt. I still get some lovely bf poos though in his nappy.

We are still using washable nappies too and i love them and am now obssessed!

On the plus side, he has been sleeping 7-7 for the past 2 weeks now. Long may it continue!
Like Terrys I need routine but with DD and DS they both seem to just get a routine that suits me/DP and them. DS is still fed on demand and even now I have no idea when he will feed but he does get enough in during the day.

With blw, we did spoon in some stuff for DD, like porridge/yoghurt. My theory was that if I offered the spoon and she opened her mouth/grabbed the spoon herself and shoved it in, then it was her choice
We didn't start her on the porridge until she was about 7 months though.

Going to try out the parent and baby cinema shows at the Trafford centre too. Twas good with DD.

Sadly, I'm back to work mid-Sept Seems ages away but I know it'll wizz round. :(