The great PESH dispenser

[Muser]

Here we go again:

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.

Sorry for shit spelling on above post, needy kitty is trying to get on my lap(top) so couldnt -be arsed-- to proof read

Just to add to the BF comments, I should mention it DOES sort of feel like you nipples will drop off for about a week, but then it's nice. Will elaborate further later on, but have to walk to play scholl to pick TT up. Did I mention my car windscreen was smashed...?

Also think I need a new tag line but am stuck for inspiration. Maybe "nurturing a champion trampolinist" as Sprout seems to like lying face down and pummeling my bladder so much :o

(soz for clustering)

BB hug and manly punch on the nose for you.

Definitely worth asking. I ended up sitting in the waiting room with a selection of mahooosive ladies and had a major freak out. If nothing else they might be able to find you somewhere quiet to sit if you threaten to sit in the middle of their waiting room and wail at the top of your voice.

Booty I'll probably do that anyway! Thanks for the input everyone, I think I will ask my midwife what she can do. If I can't have an early appointment I'll just have to tough it out and maybe stand in a different area to wait.

I couldn't get over how crap the set up was when I went for my FC appointment. They put you in the same massive waiting room as all the diffed ladies waiting for their ante natal appointments with all the adverts for nappies and 4D scans going on on the tv. You would think that they could have had a little room separately for people who needed a bit more privacy or is this too much to ask? In fact the waiting room was massive and there was a funny little bit off the the right of the reception which could easily have been sectioned off with a partition wall (as you can see i was was over thinking this quite a bit at the time) Would have also been useful for people in your shoes bb

Ok so does your eyesight miraculously improve during diffment or is this the legendary nesting instinct kicking in as I have just randomly decided to the microwave HAD to be cleaned while heating up my coffee. I have never done this before in the 8 years we have owned it. (although TB has, we are not that scummy) It could be that I am having some people coming on Saturday for book club who have never been here before but I am not sure why I think they will be inspecting the inside of the microwave! :o

Boxy - Am just pleased you're unharmed, but it must have been really terrifying. Hope you reported them. Have this triple gin shot - medicinal for the nerves, of course.

Cluckers, I can sadly believe that such little bastards live in a nice village, as I grew up in a village that ranged from bog-standard middle class (us) to v rich and the worst teen-psychos were the really over-privileged little shits. Still, you take your mind off it all with your bumper pack of laying goodness. Hint: I wouldn't make a pineapple, clary sage and raspberry leaf tea curry Hope you get a-laying soon.

BB, big hugs for you. So sad that what should be an exciting time is causing you so much distress. You must speak to someone about your situation; you won't be the only/first person who's sadly had to go through this, so surely there's procedures in place to make special allowances? I think after going through that trauma that you can and should request whatever will help you. You can also ask to not sit in the general waiting area; I did due to migraines, which is entirely trivial compared to your emotional needs, so can't imagine they'd say no. So sorry about the flashbacks - could you get your GP or MW to make an offical request on your behalf or get Mr BB to ring for you?

Cho, good luck with the fisting. Can't wait to know if you're having a san or daughter. San or daughter! Oh, it's the way I tell 'em!

Rocket, glad you had a lovely birthday :) But WTF with the timid massage? Surely the point of any massage is to punish the back to within an inch of its life, even when pg?! You summed up all my feelings about BFing much better than I did, btw. PS You are not deprived re dildocam, believe me! PPS if you fancy a laugh, there's a new FB pic of my gargantuan tum.

BB I requested the last appointment of the day in order to avoid lengthy waiting. My sonographer friend works very regular hours so I assumed they don't over run that often. Worked pretty well, didn't have to wait for more then a few minutes.

Sounds like nesting to me sprocket!

Little bastards boxfresh! Must've given you a hell of a jump!

at ladygaga flashing her rumble in the jungle.

Scorp, it takes a lot to terrify me, but I'll have the gin anyway. Ta! :o

Anyway, back to go on about BFing again. With TT I had a steady introduction to feeding her, as she was in SCBU and I was in HDU. I hated the hospital, and the only good thing about it was the SCBU sister who got me BFing when the MWs told me I probably wouldn't be able to. I fed TT till she was 10 months old. She was an easy to feed baby and I'm glad she came first so that I was an old hand when LG was born, as he is a faffer. TT never made me feel sore, had a good latch and never flashed my nips in public. So much for it being impossible! LG was kind to me during his birth but is a much trickier baby to feed, but we have it sussed now. He had a poor latch to start with and had an industrial suction pump approach to feeding. I ended up with blistered nipples and it was sore for a while. But I got the latch sorted and forced my way through the pain barrier with lots of Lansinoh, and by 2 weeks it was back to comfortable. He still is on and off the breast though, even now. He's terrified he'll miss something, and likes to have the booby on standby just in case, which usually means flashing it to the world. I am quick to keep my top down these days. :o

So there we go - an easy one and a hard one. The difficult bit is always the first couple of weeks though, which is why I reiterate my top tip here - after you've laid, don't try and do anything else at all for at least a week, except for laying in bed, getting to grips with your baby and recovering yourself. Get everyone else to run around after you. That goes for FFers too!

I just can't be arsed with foof shaving at the mo - it's not like it sees any action at all. And I itch all over all the time as it is without sporting an attractive, and itchy, shaving rash down both thighs.

Who was it who compared her lady garden to the enchanted forest surrounding sleeping beauty's castle? How I laughed at the time while admiring my manicured lawns.

Now sporting a horrific do from circa 1972 and I don't care! Is bit when I go swimming though! Soon I won't be able to see and then it will be perfect in my imagination

I veeted mine before labour to 'tidy up'. Ended up with pubes all over the place - like a teenage boys attempt at shaving, all wonky as couldn't see my groin and could barely reach arms round mahoosive bump. Was very amusing for the midwives am sure. Not going to bother again!

Glad I'm not the only natural ESH!

Ha! We are more BUSH than BESH!

score I haz seen and commented, I think you look B A U tiful!! Ok so bump is quite big but you are petite so its just proportionate. Could do with getting my own bump pics up but need to sort out my filter groups on t'other place first as don't really want everyone seeing (this will hold for baby pics too so needs to be done)

bitey think you are right as was eyeing up the sticky bottom of the cupboard that I keep the honey and sauces in. But need to redirect that towards the piles of trash still scattered round the house that still need tidying before I tackle things behind closed doors. Ok lunch then crack on (needing to speak to HMRC about setting up self employment again is VERY good for the state of the house :o )

boxer all this info is very helpful and no doubt we will be getting you to repeat it all the the Spa in a few months time. I have a bumper order of differs related aromatherapy stuff that has arrived from my order last week and I think I got some stuff to concoct a nipple relief recipe in there (thinking ahead) First thing is to make the indigestion remedy and the stretch mark busting tummy rub. WOO! (boo would be proud of me upholding the woo)

TBs birthday gift to me was the super top range epilator that you can use in the bath/shower to replace my old one. Its fab except I don't think its going to be long before I cant see far enough round the bump to do prune the lady garden. Not really that arsed tbh but he has volunteered his services on the understanding that I NEVER ask him to clip my toe nails :o Some advantages to having a husband with the fear of feet then.

Waaaah, me no see comment yet, Rocket Can't wait for your bump pics!

Re: bushes - elder ESH knoweth my thoughts on hair removal ie I don't do it. I don't like the look of anything except au naturel, am a feminist and above all, lazy. I take the opinion that if a man is grossed out by a woman's bits looking how nature intended then he has ishoos and needs to get a grip (and is not for me). Not suggesting that other people just do it for their menfolk or indeed that they have to agree with me, of course. Each to their own, as in all things.

Sometimes if wearing a summer dress I might tackle my legs 'n' pits but only because I can't be arsed with people looking at me askance or making comments. I likes hairy men too, none of this back, sac and crack nonsense, thank you verh much Hairless man-chests? Bleeurgh.

(Freud would argue that this is because my Dad is half silver-back gorilla, half man )

Oooh, now I do like a man with a hairy chest.....is very, er, manly .

Foot lady has just been & reported changes since our last appointment (which was Tues) & reckons I won't make it to the next one (next Tues). C'mon baby - out you come!!!!

ohh exciting clucky! come on chicklet get a move on! :o

score was yesterday at about 10 am.

Well if that isnt karma for you. One of TBs best mates who he is away with has same b'day as me so they all went out for dinner last night. TB had 4 mouthfuls and had to run outside to be sick. He felt so ill he had to take himself off back to the chalet while they went out drinking. He has been feeling proper poorly although had managed to eat a bit today hasnt been able to board. I feel really bad for him as it sucks being ill when on hols esp when you lose out on lift passes etc but can't help thinking its pay back for him not being with me on my birthday :o Think he agrees as well. Poor thing, hope he's well enough to board tomorrow.

I have been on the phone to a vay nice and apologetic woman from the trust. She did say I should be reassured that I am the first person to make a complaint and that usually people are very happy with their service. I pointed that out that maybe most people are accepting a poor standard of service because they haven't left the unit with someone else's blood on their shoes! Anyway, she took my complaints item by item and exlained how the unit would be addressing them. I do feel a bit happier and am hoping they were having a spectacular off day. We shall see when I return for my triple test next week......

On the hairy issue of topiary I am just a fan of the tidy look, partly becasue I like to pass myself off as a naturalish blonde and have a dead give away poking out of my bathers! I had a hollywood wax once before my wedding. The FDH and I had been together for eleven years before tying the knot (can you see why he is known as foot dragging?) and I thought it would be a naughtie/nice surprise. Holy hell! Never again! Although I must say that the bitch queen from hell waxing lady said she never heard screams of seen faces pulled quite like that ever beofre!

Ooooh sprocket is that a special kit you can buy ready arranged or do you have to have working knowledge of woo first?

Mmm no kit I'm afraid, bitey all knowledge gleaned from here vey good book I have been using for years. The problem is that most of the remedies require completely different essential oils and there are only a select few that are safe for use during diffment, some of which are hard to get hold of or very expensive. Plus most oils lose potency after about 2 years so you have to be judicious with which ones you buy or you end up with millions that cost an arm and a leg and then have gone off before you get a chance to use them (speaking from experience here!) They are still fine for burning to make rooms smell nice but will have lost there Woo properties iyswim. This time i have concentrated on a few that I think will help specific problems (digestion/stretch marks etc) and a couple of the ones that are recommended for during labour which could be used for more than one remedy, it took quite a bit of cross referencing! (and will probably not work after all this effort!) I am going to start dosing myself with dill which apparently should help with my digestive pain.

Oooo hello you lot.

Sorry am currently crap....just checked in for cho n Kate news...

Will try n catch up. Somehow :)

Can't be arsed to cut n paste but consultant insisted my due date is 27th aaaaaages ago so guess I could change it on the Not List?

Whoever starts Fred, if you can be bothered... :)

Ps cheers for the booze n hairy bush action

GINSTERS! May I take this rare opportunity to gently molest you? Hope you're coping and your poor ribs aren't too heinous XXXX

Who's doing the new fred? We need to make sure it shows that Gin and Muse are lay-sistahs

Rocket, you DID comment, sorry! My baby brain was looking for the name 'Rocket Leaf'. DURRRRRRRR! Thanks to all for nice comments, btw. Pliz to accept a slap round the respective chops with my comedy knockers in gratitude

New fred here