The great PESH dispenser

[Muser]

Here we go again:

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.

Well, that knackers another theory of mine. You know last week I was fretting about people just lunging in to cop a feel of my belly? Well, its just happened, from someone who I work with but not very closely at all. However, her sheer delight & excitement as she gently rubbed my belly actually put a smile on my face! And I was feeling a bit low & grumpy today, so she wasn't starting from a good point. How bizarre I should feel like that, really really didn't think I would. Still not enitirely sure how I feel about all randoms though

I have a bit of a cold + asthma + extra weight = snoring. Loudly. Mr Loz is a light sleeper too so the past few nights have been tough. Mr Loz got up to sleep in spare room at 4am on Monday morning. So I just automatically went into spare room last night. There's no arguing etc, & Mr Loz says he doesn't like sleeping in separate beds, but basically we both need our sleep. I just feel . Its OK, I'm going to slap my own face with a wet fish & HTFU - GRRRR

Talking of manly roars, 6 Nations Rugby starts Fri - WOOP WOOP! Lovely, manly thighs. Oh, & a highly skilled, intricate sport of course

Med not very helpful of MrM's HR dept. Who gives a flying fuck what "most men" do. I firmly believe that money is one of the main pitfalls of being a 30's mum. I'm sure we've all got used to our own money / standard of living - whatever. And its going to change. I'm the one who is struggling with that concept. Mr Loz just can't see it - money coming into the house is our money. End of. But we've always had our own bank accounts for our own purposes (we have a joint account for boring housey stuff).

I'm still open to suggestions re breast v bottle, but hope to attend a good course that will help me decide. Interesting to hear the differences in courses. My MW gave me a BF DVD. So I sat down to watch that hoping for some frank, informative pointers. It was vay disappointing, mainly people just saying how wonderful BF is, how you must do it etc. It felt like some kind of cult promotion

Our breastfeeding class was all quite practical, but I still came away feeling that I didn't have a hope of working out how to do it until acksherly in possession of a baby.

Loz What are your thoughts on BF'ing, then? I'm hoping to bf, with the firm awareness that it's more important to be happy than to be perfect mother. But I just like the portability of boobs vs the hassle of carrying bottles/formula everywhere.

Loz, the 'breast is best' brigade can go on about it all they like, but formula these days is plenty good enough. I'm a BFer and a fanatical one at that, but mainly because I like the fact that you don't have to faff around with bottles, sterilizing, whether you've been to the shops and actually bought any formula (I do know people who have forgotten!) etc. You just carry the baby with you and whip your top up when they want some milk. On the down side, this means that your boobies are going to be rather important to someone other than you and your OH for a while. You can express and mix bottle and boob, but that way often leads to stress when you realise the baby will not accept a bottle when there is something far more familiar available. A BF baby will prefer booby over bottle any day. But as for damaging your babies by not BFing, that's an argument I don't accept - I was FF and have much more common sense and a better immune system that BF OH, and I'm not exactly thick! A final note - ever wonder why nipples have lots of nerve endings stimulating nice feelings when they are sucked? It's not for the bloke's benefit.... and what's not to like about having a perfectly acceptable way of having a nice little 'I'm having my nipples sucked, in a non-erotic but still very nice feeling way' in public, whenever you want, and noone can stop you because it's illegal to stop you? Of course noone in RL will admit that it feels nice, because it's a bit of a taboo subject. But the reason it feels nice evolutionarily is to encourage women to want to BF for as long as the baby wants to.

On the side of a FF I just wanted to say that it's really not that much of a faff to get organised with bottles/steriliser/formula. This is of course assuming you're the type of woman who doesn't "forget" to use contraception and you're generally able to pop your doorkeys and phone in your handbag before heading out for the day. Microwave sterilisers are the bizz. n.b., Pls to make sure microwave steriliser fits inside microwave? Saw this particular epic-fail recently. FF is not rocket science and I'm always surprised when I see the size of the changing bags that people go out with. You know how long you're leaving the house for, you know when baybee is due for a feed. You are not heading in to Siberia, merely Tesco.

I have just finished breast feeding MiniG at 2 years and 8 months . I never intended to feed this long, my Mum and sister never breastfed and was made to feel like a bit of a freak (in a nice way). But I carried on so long because it is soo easy once you have cracked it. Yes, I am basically lazy and BF is the lazy girls friend.

Cracking it initially is a bit tricky and some never manage it but if you do then it is a lovely experience for both Mum and Baby. As Box says is so easy and convenient - no sterilising, making up bottles,finding some whay to heat them up, free. You CAN do it discreetly and without fuss whatever idiots say and I had no issues with anyone challenging me ever.

It was particularly useful when MiniG was ill or had a tummy upset as most of my friends FF babies would refuse milk at this point but MiniG would carry on with his booby so could get fluids into him. Helps them sleep - a newborn will zonk 10mins into a feed! You will love the milk drunk expression they get as babies after a big feed - so cute. And when he was little i could just pop him in bed with me and feed him back to sleep without actually properly waking up myself.

It will help your uterus etc all cramp back down to size faster and will reduce bleeding. You will probably lose weight faster than if you didn't. And it gives you cat=rte blanche license to eat cake as is good for your supply .

It also stops a toddler tantrum faster than anything else I have found. Mid-howls just whip a boob out and waggle it around .

On the booze fromt I still enjoyed a glass of wine or two in the evenings a few days a week without ill effect to the baby - only a tiny amount gets into the milk although if i was going to get hammered I just would give expressed milk until it had cleared.

I think there are lots of good arguments also about health etc but I'm sure you've seen lots of these anyway and don't want to preach.

From my perspective I carried on so long just because it was easy to do so and he loved it so much. When I went back to work he was nearly one so just had a cup of formula while he was there and fed morning and evenings still which has carried on being the pattern until the last few weeks.

Like Box I was formula fed as were my niees and nephews so am sure it is fine but there are loads of good reasons to BF but at the end of the day it's completely up to you. Just hope have given a positive, personal view of what it can be like.

What you do need in the early days is support. Someone to come in every day and check your latch - we were rubbish to start with but the midwives were ace and really helped. DP to bring you cakes and drinks and also understand that what you really need to do for first two or three weeks is hang out on sofa/in bed feeding the baby to get supply established. If you have that support though you should find it all a lot easier.

Hope noone things am preaching - just wanted to share my experience. I know everyone is different.

And sorry for the appalling volume of typos and the essay.

scorps sorry about the financial shite-ness. Not fair. but you sound like you have a plan so that's positive.

lozza There is a fantastic website called kellymom.com which basically has all the detail and which helped me so much with no.1 and this link was truely an education! I have to say the bonus for BFing is the night wake-ups, you just stick baybee on and voilà! No faffing. It's hard for the first month but then it gets so much easier.

Cross-posted! yes LGG Lazy mum's choice!

Is all very interesting thank you lala! I hope to BF but know some of my friends have struggled with it. My sister was fine though, so hopefully that is a good sign.

I just had to go and see human resources as they are confused that I had first half of the week off with flu and the second half on compassionate leave even though I still had flu. I don't want too many sick days and am entitled to compassionate leave so had to make sure they had it right. Halfway through long explanation I noticed they were looking at me in horror and also that my mouth was very irony. That's right reader, my lip had split in front of them! Didn't even think they were that dry! The good bit is that they succumbed to my demands without further quibble and ushered me out at top speed before I bled in their pristine office!

PS was not flu but bad cold but people get funny when you won't get out of bed for a cold!

Drom My thoughts about BF change regularly! My initial thought was that I just didn't fancy it. I was FF, & I think growing up in a pretty prudish household just felt a bit squirmy about it. Then as I live in a 3 storey town house the idea of being half asleep & going down 2 flights of stairs (especially as a bit nervous coz fell down one flight & broke wrist) to make up a bottle at 3am doesn't fill me with delight. Then I think it will be nice to have my body back for me, & this will help me feel more comfortable & happy & like myself again. Which can only help with the mood / attitude around Bug. As I said, a lot of conflicting thoughts! All of which I realise sound totally selfish. Of course I want the best for my baybee, but like you Drom I think a happy mother is the best thing. I think maybe I'd like to give it a go, & I know Mr Loz would support whatever makes me feel comfortable. But I don't think my immediate family would feel the same. And as I'll be replying on them (mum & dad mainly) for a LOT of support at the beginning........

Oh, I don't know. I'm rambling. Will attend a class, & see how I feel on the day!

Ouch Bitey - get some vaseline on! By the way, haven't mentioned as don't want to pry. But I hope you're ok about the reason for the compassionate leave.

I second Kellymom as a fab resource. Video looks good too. I'm concerned that I will have forgotten how to bf a little one - you don't have to encourage a strapping great toddler to latch correctly - he just helps himself! Hopefully will all come flooding back.

Thanks ladybird, yes OK. My grand-father passed away very peacefully after being ill for a long time. Hard because they live the other side of the world so I haven't actually absorbed that he's gone. The funeral is tomorrow and I have written a reading for it but will be only the only one of nine granchildren not there

Well, I am off to see the vague ante-natal clinic. I may be back even more confused in forty minutes!

I think with starting BF just take it one day at a time, Loz - whatever you can do will help your baby. Even if you just do the colostrum bit you're setting their immune systems off well - just see how it goes.

Sorry to hear that, Bitey . He'll know you're thinking of him and tehre is spirit though.

Good luck with antenatal clinic. Ask them if they can have a listen in to heartbeat. Really made me on Monday - but apparently they don't tend to unless you ask at this point in case can't find it as still early.

Firstly, a v happy birthday to a certain special PESH (not saying who in case you want it to be a secret on MN)

Re BFing - I really want to do it and will be disappointed if it doesn't pan out but am going to be level-headed about it all and also take the 'a happy mum makes the best mum' route. Loz, I think you're being v sensible about not pressurising yourself to do either. Give it a try, like you say, and if it works for you and TinyLoz then that's great. If not, go back to Plan A, FFing. Everyone's happy!

However, I have a bit of a hang-up about being determined to BF, as I was tongue-tied and didn't latch well and all the medical professionals my Mum saw told her that BFing was 'dirty' and inferior and just told her to FF me. They wouldn't even let her have a breast pump, despite her asking loads of different sources (not available back then like they are now). I was BF for about 6 weeks and then FF. I've always had health probs and my brother, who was BF for 18 months is insanely healthy (albeit having allergies too, which are hereditary). Is probably nowt to do with the difference in feeding, but my Mum has always thought it was (and felt bad about it) and I wonder if it was a factor. Not saying that FFing will make babies ill, of course not, just that when you have a sickly baby, like I was, it could make a difference. Soz for those who've read me say similar about my Mum's experience before, btw.

Bitey, hope you are feeling better but I guess the silver lining is that spontaneous facial bleeding probably convinced them that you're not in the best of health Big hugs for whatever the compassionate leave is due to you for

PS Thanks, Milano :) Having a plan and little cash feels better than oodles of dosh but being confused (she deludes herself).

LadyG thanks for your post - not preachy at all. Alpine Thanks for the other POV too. And for the links. Really appreciate RL experiences from both camps. I can see pros & cons to both, so as with everything else Bug related at the moment I'm open to persuasion. (Wonders when I'll actually start making decisions )

Bitey so sorry to hear about your grand-father. Agree with LadyG, he'll know you're thinking of him & I'm sure everyone will understand why you're unable to attend his funeral. Writing a reading is such a lovely thing for you to do. Muchos luffs, x

I BF mini O until 17 months. I never felt I had a good grounding in how to do it before he arrived, and like others on here, was concerned that I wouldn't know when the time came. I did also feel a bit like LL that I wasn't sure how I felt about. I knew I wanted to do it for the sake of the baby, but whilst PG also felt a wee bit sqeemish about it. However, once he was here, and the few BF leaflets that I had with pictures on, plus the help from my circle of first time mums got us through. One of my problems was not the latch, but getting him to take enough from one side before wanting to switch. He used to be a very hungry boy (still is!) and liked the quick release of milk he got initally. What he didn't like was being made to work for the rest of it and wanted to swap sides. This is fine until I realised that not emptying each side was problematic because he was only getting the foremilk, which is a drink substitue (and can make colic worse), and not the hindmilk, which is the bit that fills them up with the goodness in. It also meant I developed a few blocked milk ducts that were painful at times. Once I made him work a bit harder and perserve on one side we settled into all ok, and I had no probs after the first couple of weeks.

I too agree with LGG's saying that BF is a lazy mum's solution. It really was for me/us!Not saying FF is hard, just I never found BF a chore. At 17 months he went straight onto a cup of cows milk, so no need to use bottles etc for us. We'll see what happens this time round.

Biteme hugs to you.

Scorps sorry to hear about the money issue, but hoping you get a good plan together. Money issues are the last thing you need to worry about with a wee one around.

LL glad the bump touching lady cheered you up. it's nice to be pleasantly suprised evry now and again .

So sorry, to hear about your grandfather Bitey, hope you can make space to be thinking about him at the time of the funeral, and somehow feel a part of it even from a long way away.

Well, apparently there really is a baby in there . Scan this morning, and their dates match mine so all is well. I'm afraid I didn't get an emotional rush seeing a fuzzy blob on screen, although the heart beating was pretty cool, but it's good to know all's well. And it may be because I was concentrating on my poor bladder being pushed around - apparently the combination of my womble slanting backwards and it being quite early for a booking scan meant more pushing than usual was needed.

Now we get to start telling people - eeek. Mind you, having sat through yet another meeting yesterday where I was asked how I was feeling about upcoming reshuffling of staff responsibilities and having to avoid saying 'well actually I won't be here when it happens', it'll be easier in some ways once everyone knows. Not that I plan on telling work for another month, but I'm away a lot of the time in between.

Gah - sorry about the awful spelling and grammer. I dashed in as have left my students working on something and am in a rush.

X-post, Bitey, didn't see your sad news when last posted. So sorry for you. How lovely that you have written a reading. It must be sad not to be there, but he knew how much you loved him and that's what matters Good luck at the ante-natal clinic too.

Yay for the good scan, Occers. I had a lot of pushing around at my first scan cos of my tilted womb too, but yours should be righting itself any day now. Knowing it's really real just adds another layer of menkul, huh?

Talking of my rubbish ££ situation, have just had a confusing phone call. MW from another town I've never even visited me rang me because I'm on her list of women in that area she needs to chat to about securing their SMP or MA. She got quite shirty with me when I told her I didn't live there and wasn't eligible for either cash source. Why people get annoyed with you when it's clear they've made a mistake is beyond me. V odd why I'm on her list though (town is about 30 mins away, so not like it's a local error). Will ask my MW WTF at my appointment next week.

Fab news on scan, Occy. Hope many weeks are you now? When I had an 8 week scan the baby just looked like a fuzzy blob but is amazing in a few more weeks how baby like they start to look. Felt a lot more connected at the 12 week one when I could actually see him/her put little hands up to cover their eyes.

Still waiting for a 20 week scan date but have told them when am away and think they are going to try and squeeze me in before I go so hopefully will only be about a month away! And then I might be brave enough to out myself on FB!

I'm 10+5 (which is a couple of days less than based on LMP which I expected based on charting) so apparently quite early for a booking scan but that's because between TH and I we're away most of the next 3 weeks so they fitted us in. I suspect the time between now and the 20 week will fly.

What is your due date? And a little few words for the list. That goes for everyone else not on there!!! As will need to do a new fred soon.