The great PESH dispenser

[Muser]

Here we go again:

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.

Why am I not starting maternity leave earlier? PESHes who need to decide when to go, I recommend 34 weeks. I would like to stop right now.

On the bright side, I am only working 3 days next week, then 2 four day weeks. And then I'm done. DONE.

I left early today as back couldn't take it anymore. Am now at home, in bed, in my pjs, stuffing Randoms into my gob.

6 weeks today, or 27 more commutes to go for me till I finish. And as I drive, those of you on public transport, esp in London, have my hugest sympathies.

Rocket I have just seen the bear pod you made - it is fantastic. :)

Muser, your last sentence should serve as a differs' prescription!

Tbh, I really struggled the last two weeks, and prolly couldn't have done it without preceding Xmas break, and business partners absence requiring me to be there. Also, im taking no more than 6 months off, so want most of it to be plus baybee, rather than waiting around for labour to start.

My arse is now firmly welded to the sofa, and hoping I will feel better physically now I can rest my knackered 'elderly primagravida' bones!

Hurrah for welding one's arse to the sofa. Do not move until you feel r+r'd.

silv you have my sympathies on the 2 hourly feeding. BB is still doing it, has been since 5am. I thought she was finally asleep and it was safe for me to catnap bit no, it is like she has a sensor - as soon as my eyes close she squawks. She better bloody sleep longer tonight!

Feel I should not complain in presence of Iggy - you have it vey bad. So sorry Iggy. I'm not surprised you find it difficult to drop off between feeds. Big smooches to you. Xxx

Soz that post should have been in FESh

Hi pols, did you see my post re tens , was wondering if you sil is yet to yes it herself...uf so, I think I will get one elsewhere this weekend....I'm desperately hoping baybee will arrive early!

'stuffing randoms in my mouth'

I recommend series 1 of flight of the conchords and all of the boosh. And some early eddie izzard stand up for good measure. And black books. All of which you will have seen, but watch them again.

I have a sling, a new bra, and some of my hospital bag stuff. Anyone would think I was going to have a baybee soon! My lovely mum just spent all het boots points on breast pads n lanisoh. Bless her.

Then I discovered that it is possible to order a cream tea with hot chocolate instead of tea. Now I feel very sick :)

Braxton hicks kicked off like fuck last night, is just my body fucking with me cos tc is away in That London.

I was too classy to snort at Muse's inadvertent innuendo, gintonic.

I now want a cream tea with hot chocolate, however...

I wouldn't recommend watching Eddie Izzard after 34 weeks though unless you want to go into side-splitting induced labour. I hurt for 2 days after seeing him live.

I have just asked my bosses if I can change my working hours because of my commute. I work from 1pm until 9.30 pm and then I get home at 11pm because of the friggin' trains. I don't want to do that at 6, 7 and 8 months ta.

I am a bit disappointed that only gin did pick up on it. I was admiring the smuttiness of it as I posted.

That just shows how clean living I am...or is it just that the only oral gratification I am interested in at the moment is jelly-sweet oriented.

Not sure what happened with massive typo fest on my last post to Polly... and I don't even have the excuse of one handed typing!

I'm lurking cos I feel so rank and sorry for myself, but I will say that I had a Finbarr Saunders moment at Muse's randoms. ARF! ARF!

I have the opposite prob to everyone else - have been so ill the whole pg that I've been unable to do anything but sit or lay around in pain watching telly (and waffling here) and am getting quite depressed and desperate to be able to do something. I realise people being exhausted by working hard will have zero sympathy, but heyho.

Feeling v boohoo, poor me today, plz to ignore.

Sorry flying post as have broken myself again so posting from bed onphone . Thanks for all kind words re my blog! And would like to add breaking bad to must see box set list. Wil catch up properly when able to get upright.

Am very reliable when it comes to filth

Milano I love love love eddie. He is on my 'imaginary friend' list

And I'm 5th/joint 4th on the Not List (consultant insists due date is 27th.) Have felt so weird for past couple of weeks and so different to last pg it keeps making me think it's gonna be early this time. Which would be good as far as being uncrippled would be nice. But, as discussed the other night, I could prob do with hanging on at least another couple of weeks.

Not that I actually get any say in the matter anyway :)

cho hope baybee gives you a bit of time to take it easy before it arrives. You deserve it after working so hard and looking just impossibly glamorous

I'm also TERRIFIED by all the nesting I did yesterday. It's Not Natural, I tell you!!!!

In other random rambling news, BHs are at it again. And I am extremely chuffed with my sling purchase :)

Cho sorry, I did see post but then immediately forgot it - brain is mush today. Yes, she had her baybee on Weds - a little boy 9lb 8oz . She is in hosp but coming home tomorrow. I am going to visit her on Sun or Mon so could collect the tens machine and post it to you, save her the bother?

Yep, limited sympathy. I only worked three days a week and felt incredibly lucky I was able to do that. Working five days a week woud have killed me. I would have loved to have been able to sit on my sofa through my pregnancy.

Also being in hospital whilst waiting to go into labour, I was opposite a lovely lady with 30 weeks preg with twins who had a cervical stitch to stop her losing the babies, and who was diagnosed with pre eclamsia and so was destined to spend the rest of the term of her pregnancy in hospital. Now her I felt sorry for.

Am feeling too sorry for myself at the moment and need to be kicked in the bottom and told to man up. It's just the three-stage journey that's getting to me. It'd be ok if it was just the tube or the train or the bus...I think part of it is because I'm really tired AND really big, so I feel quite vulnerable in crowds. And is hard to commute in ThatLondon without encountering a crowd.

TNB is working really hard at the moment, too, so we haven't seen a lot of one another. It would be lovely if he could take some of the load off, but he's as exhausted by crazy hours as I am by pregnancy - has been at work for 6.30 and not home til 9 most nights this week.

Ho hum, tis Friday at least. And not long now before I can stop.

What was the verdict on the ribs today, ginster?

Indeed, it's when you are in pain and yet have to go into work that it's really tough, not just pg exhaustion plus work making you feel dreadful. It's bad enough spending the day in work when you feel borderline crippled

You're nearly there Drom. I don't know how I'd cope with a commute like that. At least I just have a short train ride.

Yeah drom I get seriously arsey in crowds of people too. Fuckers [menkulhormones]

Had no one to look after mooch yesterday so ended up having to cancel appt. Couldn't face dragging him with me for the walk/bus ride in pissing rain and making him sit thru the appt....for some reason I have to go for physio at the far-away hospital and not the near one. Useful :)

So, no further verdict. Tbh she gave me so little to go on last time that I wasn't really holding out much hope! (not knocking the nhs or the physio, she was lovely, but even she didn't seem that confident that the exercises would actually do anything for a mutant comme moi)

Imagine I would've just got the (4th?5th?lost count) recommendation of getting signed off work. Easier sad than done though innit. Though I have been going home early cos I just sort of grind to a halt.

A 3 stage journey, in London, with Bastard Fucking Commuters? You need a flamethrower love. Seriously, that is hard going. All you London birdz, nuff respeck innit. At least my bus is never busy, and everyone at work is used to the fact that I always miss the first one as I am slower than a slow thing with no legs on ketamine....

Fucking hell, cho. Were you being attacked by the spd monster? Sounds dire. Am sooooooo glad that you now get crucial sofa time - and hopefully your gorgeous man will be waiting on you hand and foot?

To an extent, I think I feel worse because the end is in sight - almost as if the moment I started counting down was the moment it all got too much. Still, 8 more journeys and I am done.

And then there will be a baybee! My motherease nappies starter pack has arrived and I have practised putting the nappy on the Cookie Monster cuddly toy that TNB has. That's the same as fitting it on to a RL wriggly baby, isn't it?

Boo to ribs-not-being-mended. You can have my place in the queue if you like?