The great PESH dispenser

[Muser]

Here we go again:

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.

It never rains but it pours; just found out am not going to get any maternity allowance nor nuffink for a variety of reasons too dull to go into here So I has no cash and am not getting any more, w00t.

I've posted a new FB pic for all to marvel at my redonku-bump!

PS I don't like the idea of anyone seeing my foof. I'm going to give birth fully clothed like Daphne did in Neighbours - getting hold of bottle-green maternity tights has been quite a struggle, let me tell you

Bah, that sucks Scorps. It also seems like a completely inconsistent benefit, by being awarded if you have worked enough, but not if you haven't. (I know NI contributions etc come into any benefit, but having read the article in the Graun today about how they are chasing benefit cheats, for a paltry 1% of the total benefits bill, but not putting the same effort into tax evaders really pees me off. Benefits are a safety net in society for damned good reason.)

I'm waiting for my own MA application to be confirmed, as they rejected it initially because one document was a copy! (it had been emailed to me, rather than sent as hard copy) but I have no real reason to doubt it will be OK overall.

Ha, ha Scorps. Maybe Daphne wore crotchless Ann Summers panties too though?

Also with this panties debate it is only really an issue if you are going to be lying flat on back with legz akimbo the whole labour. If you are walking around and upright then noone will see your fanny anyway unless they really want to look.

Don't worry too much about TYF though. Just to give the oppo view, it might be nice for him/you to be off with you a bit later in the summer to give you a bit of a break later on? I know it's really hard when diffed to see past the end of the Diffment and then making a phenomenal effort you can picture the first few weeks but actually newborns are really quite boring and only really interested in their Mum's boob and sleeping and the bonding/holiday time might be better spent at three months or so when the Lad is being a bit more interesting/interested in the rest of his family. Feel free to rant away though - it is your right as a Diffed Woman to demand stuff! Maybe see how you feel at the time and how you are coping.

Eugh, used the word "panties" twice in that post. I do apologise. I frigging hate that word. Inevitably used in readers wives stories in smutty mags/the Sun.

Hope yours comes through ASAP, Medee. Agree with you totally re benefits cheats Vs tax evaders. Cheating never good, but compared to tax evasion? A drop in the ocean. Still, the fact that most super-rich tax dodgers are more likely to vote Tory has nothing to do with it at all

I miss out from getting MA by about a week's worth of work. I could fucking cry, I really could.

PS At first glance, I thought you meant a Master's Degree application! I thought, surely this isn't the right time to be embarking on graduate study?!

No chance you could still do a week's work to make that up, Scorps, or does it fall outside the qualifying period or whatever it was called?

Or bent over with a too-short nightie, GG. (you can tell the second-timers from the first-timers on this debate!)

Like GG says, we're spreading out MrM's leave for that reason.

I asked, Medee - would have to do something like 7 1/2 days work (to be precise) by end of next Tuesday. So near and yet so far, etc. What's annoying is that I have contacted them before now, as you know, and they were shit at giving me the right info/sending me the right stuff.

that's incredibly frustrating.

I have added a bump photo to my FB page - and afraid to say it, but Scorps is bigger than me, with 10 weeks gap!

BTW, I hadn't thought of us spreading out TYF's leave like that, but it makes a lot of sense. Maybe he could take a week off after SPP and then a week or a few half-weeks off in summer too (although then we'd be under pressure to go to the ILs). Shmart thinking, PESHies :)

It's true, Medee looks all glowy, neat and petite and I look like a wild woman who's ready to drop! My hair texture seems to have gone from nicely wavy to 'random squiggles' during pg.

What about voluntary NI contributions? Couldn't you back pay some just to qualify. This all so

Stupid phone!! Sorry score I started to write that and realised you are savvy enough to have looked ar all the options. Went to delete and stupid phone posted instead. :( just going to commiserate on stupid fucking situation instead. Friend of mine is in same boat. Despite paying tax and NI for over ten years because she was out of the country for a while before diffment gets nothing. Makes me really :(

Looked into that too; still not enough. Am just going to have to suck it up. Am fairly Scrooge-like with money anyway, so that will see me right. Will get CB and working family tax credit or whatever the proper name is, once The Lad arrives, so will be okay then.

TYF would give me cash/pay for anything I asked for if I did ask, but don't like to and I don't have big spendsy needs anyway.

He's come home and we've had a good chat about holiday leave and him being more proactive about the other things we have to get sorted. Have come to some a good action plan and he'll take another week off after SPP and then save holiday leave for later in the summer, so we can do something nice as a family (even if it's just go to the park every day). :)

Not offended, Sprocket; just appreciate people listening to me and extra-appreciate them caring enough to offer advice & tips

Lovely plan making scorps it's getting more real every day isn't it?
The FDH is worried about the crap rate of
pat pay and making noises about not taking it. I am sure he will see sense, just needs to borrow a new born for a couple of hours!

Crap pay but spending time with your newborn and helping your lady out = no other option, surely?

I've realised tonight that I sometimes don't count TYF's worries about time off, etc., as not caring or similar but of course, he's being totally caring by wanting his job to be secure and the money to keep coming in (not saying you're doing that too, btw).

I think it might not be my bump that's mahusive but my judgeypants after watching BFGW every week

Exactly! He will change his mind, just sometimes our priorities don't match up. He will need to be there to wait on me bond with the baybee! Maybe he will feel better if he saves two weeks pay between now and then and pays himself. It is a lot of pressure for first time dads I think, suddenly they are providers wheras before we didcwhatcwe wanted with our seperate pay packets. Nowhere near the adjustment we have to make but still hard.

Excuse the rambling! Another blinding headache for me this morning, think it may be pillow related.

BFGW made me cry last night, poor little margaret!

I look forward to reading birth stories and learning who kept their pants on until crowning!

Certainly don't think I'll keep pants on until crowning Alpen. That's where the "help her get back into her pants until she tells you to bog off she no longer cares" comes in. By the end, we will all be following your example and marching down the corridor with no kecks on.

Today is my weekly Day Off. Hooray! I have middlewife appointment and a pile of washing up to entertain me. Wot larks.

muser I'd like to say I had full confidence in my "I'll never seen these people again" approach, but alas, sat in a restaurant one night we realised that the two girls on the table next to us were in fact nurses from the ward... I don't think they remembered my bits though as they thought i) I was Canadian and ii) I'd had twins. So I hope the Canadian lady had a nice undercarriage.

We had the breastfeeding session of our NCT antenatal classes last night. Not quite as useful as I might have hoped, seemed to be more time spent on some of the debate around BF and the issues, and less on the practical aspects, which was really what I wanted. The most informative element was a 10 minute DVD showing latching on. Part of the problem might have been the trainee (though under supervision) BF counsellor taking the workshop. Muse have you had the BF element of your classes yet, how did you find it?

We had 2 classes Medee, one mixed and one women only. Ours was pretty much all practical. The counsellor said to us she wasn't going to tell us why to breastfeed as she was sure we'd all been bombarded enough. So we did lots of practical things, stuff like the cycle of a feed, how to tell the baby wants feeding, latching on, what the common problems are, how to overcome them, etc. It was good.

Let me know if you have questions, I might be able to help. The info about the cycle of the feed was probably the most useful bit.

thanks Muse, I will do. I'm going to do the NHS one too, and that might help fill in the gaps.

And back on money...

The SPP (and SMP/ MA) is crap, and MrM?s HR said ?oh, most men only take one week? at his request for 2 ? which frankly I am not surprised about. But we had saved up for ages before TTC, then had an unplanned but useful extra year of saving so it?s not a dire situation, just will feel odd drawing down from savings rather putting into them. March is going to feel a tight month though, if I have a chance to draw breath and notice the bank balance. MrM is certainly conscious of becoming the sole breadwinner, as for years I have earned a bit more than him (just got my career started earlier), so is feeling a little uneasy about money, but have assured him I?ll do us a proper budget, and we?ll be fine.