The great PESH dispenser

[Muser]

Here we go again:

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.

Hope m6 isn't too gruesome sprocket! I have meeting this morning with my boss after a rather cryptic email where he said my contract nay be extendable. I am trying not to looked diffed and followed the make up advice in what to expect when you're expecting, the result is a little alarming! Hopefully he will be so distracted by the war paint he won't look at my middle!

Hello, Cho gave me this so I thought I would come see what all the fuss is as if I haven't had my face pressed against the Deli window for months

Thankyou for all the nice congratulations too, it means a lot.

Barbie, hellooooooo! It is so very wonderful to see you in here . Is it too early in the morning to welcome you with champagne?

I'm not sure whether I should be pleased or disturbed that I'm no longer the newest recruit to this place (clearly I'm delighted for the newly-diffed, but it's already starting to spoil the illusion that I might be here forever, always at the back of the queue).

Morning slaaags,

So Today I enter the Fourth Trimester, and my bump hasn't even dropped yet...still stuck way up under my rib cage. The only consolation I have at the moment is that if I have to be induced, my baybee will be born on the superbly palindromic 11.02.2011.

Anyone heard from Ginster recently? I know she's had all housey housey things to think about, but hoped she might be winding down from work about now, speshlie with killer rib pain.

Scorps, are your ILs aware that most motorways are now TWO-WAYS, and that they can come to YOU?

Morning PESHlets :)

Fourth trimester eh? The fecking books don't mention that, do they? Evil books.

BB ! Hoorah :)

I went to a differs pilates class last night. The class itself was excellent but I was the least diffed by, er, 15 weeks as the next least diffed person there was 28 weeks. I did feel a bit fraudulent. Maybe next week I should go with a cushion stuck up my Tshirt?

I then started worrying that I would never actually stick out or gain any weight (absolutely nothing to show so far, if anything I've lost a few pounds). Mr Boots thinks I am mental. It does not help that I am weeping at random things at the moment and someone has helpfully told me I look like shite.

I also hope Gin 's ribs have not fallen off, that did sound bloody painful. Hopefully she is putting her feet up.

Morning PESHies.

Cho I think you should definitely hang on until 11.02.2011 - I LOVE shiz like that. Obviously your ribs prolly think otherwise.

Well, I didn't enjoy OBEM last night. I missed the first 15 mins, singing lady REALLY irritated me. I tried to take a deep breath & think she's obviously nervous so over-talking & singing. Then she began to sing "I wanna have sex on the beach" & that did it for me.

The other lady I really felt sorry for, but Teh Rage at her useless twat of a fella was top of my list. I also felt that the camera work was more graphic with her than any other lady I've seen on the programme. And for some reason it quite upset me. Who knows why, I think my hormones were playing silly buggars last night. Poor Mr Loz was on the end of my rage, as I shouted at him if he DARED to get drunk (he's been tee-total forever) & not answer his mobile when I'm in labour, there would be holy hell to pay. Poor sod was just lying in bed reading his Empire magazine when I unleashed Teh Fury. Thankfully he just agreed / ignored me & all was well again.

Barbie tis lovely to see you here.

Ocarina I know exactly what you mean about new recruits being un-nerving as it pushes you further to the top of the Updiffed-in-no-way-prepared list. It still shocks me to see my name mid-table. Hell, it still shocks me I'm on the list at all!

Mr Loz told his employers I was diffed the day after my 12 week scan. But he's so excited I found out at the weekend that he even emailled an old Uni mate who he hasn't seen for 10 years to tell him too . I'm surprised he hasn't taken out an ad in the National press.

Owl you can have some of my weight gain if you like, I've plenty to spare....

Someone just came into our office who I haven't seen since Christmas, looked me up & down & just said "Oh, you look, uh.........." & tailed off. I'm sure he was just about to say "fabulous"

boots I wouldn?t worry about it ? there are a couple of girls at my Yoga for Differs class who aren?t showing yet. The advantage they have is that they will have had months of practise before D-Day, whereas those of us who sauntered along in the final trimester had better get Kegelling fast. (A couple of us were excused an exercise last night for being in the last 6 weeks of pregnancy ? eek!)

Welcome BB! Help yourself to some pate and runny, stinky brie

We really need a new list. I have counted at least 5 new deli entrants who are not on the list who need to get on - Milano, Bootylove, Occy, BB and MTF and have probably forgotten someone - plz to supply some due dates so we can update when we do the new board...which prolly won't be that long!

It won't get to induction day, Cho- baybee will sneeze out prolly tomorrow. Are they going to fist you offer you a sweep at any point?

I will watch OBEM on catch up, Loz as was doting on my boy who was delivered back from his Dad's. I was reading in Ina May though that apparently singing can help to open your cervix. So maybe there was reason to her rhyme? But she also says that arm wrestling can help to open the cervix (randomly) so going to write that into my birf plan as it will amuse me.

Exactly 5 months today until maternity leave starts!

I am so very hungry again. Today have eaten huge bowl branflakes, jumbo sausage roll, satsuma. Starving. Still an hour til lunch . Have noticed that from behind I look like a big rectangle with no waist whatsoever. This is different to last pregnancy where I reckon I retained a waist - girl this time?

This may be due to the jumbo sausage rols though

Happy travelling, Rocket. Hope M6 is kind to you.

I didn?t enjoy last night?s One Born as much either, Lou but couldn?t quite put my finger on why. As MrM said, there wasn?t actually that much birth. I did really feel for the Polish girl, especially when trying to translate for her mum in the throes of labour, and then even more so when the twatty boyfriend finally turned up with his brother while she was attempting her first feed. Oh yes, I also warned MrM that I would expect him to stay close to sober when I am close to my due date.

On the graphic point, I did wonder why nobody thought to say she could keep her pants on ? rather than faffing about with a sheet over her backside all the time. I must admit this was a bit of a revelation to me from my AN teacher last week that labour doesn?t mean automatically taking your knickers off (especially as it can mean some women feel vulnerable and can slow labour down) and you can keep them on during labour and back on again after any examinations. Obviously they need to come off for the second stage

Our NCT teacher told the partners that one of their jobs was to help us put our pants back on in labour Medee. At least until we get too pissed off at taking them on and off and say we no longer care. Her view was it makes you feel more in control and stops people just randomly examining you.

When I first went to Pilates I was about 18 weeks, not showing much, and everyone else there seemed massive and about to drop. Now I am one of the "about to pop" brigade and get to sit on a ball and have to think about my pelvic floor opening rather than tightening. Scary stuff.

TBG is not allowed to be over the driving limit from now until baby arrives. These are my rules for February.

gaga my MIL had two completely different pregnancies ? both boys. My mum had two completely different pregnancies ? one of each. No rhyme nor reason. Though that same MIL apparently told MrM last night that I am carrying a boy as I am so low.

This is why I like having the surprise, Medee - it's fun to randomly speculate and wave wedding rings on bits of string over your bump etc. I dreamed I had a baby girl but i did that last time and MiniG was very definitely a boy so not setting much stock by my psychic gender predicting powers! You'll know really, really soon!

I kept all of my clothes on in labour until the pool was filled up and then I went into "not give a shit" mode and stripped off ALL my clothes and got in starkers. And then when I was transferred in they made me put on a shit hospital gown - but it was definitely pants off at that point. I was amazed afterwards by how little I cared who saw my foof and wobby bits.

I too found singing lady highly annoying. If she said the word 'babe' one more time I think I was going to throw up. I liked Polish girl, I thought she did really well and was totally 'normal'. Shame she has to put up with the idiot boyf though.

I can't believe I'm nearly half way (picking up on the being pushed up the list theme when you're not ready!). I'll be 18 weeks tomorrrow and we have the anomoly scan next week - eek. I need to find a boys name that I like. I used the only boys name I liked for mini O and am now stuck!

Ooooh, hang on for the palindrome baybee, Cho! Fourth trimester sounds sooooo wrong

And as for the ILS - well, as I've moaned many times before, FIL works 20 mins away from our home, with TYF and MIL visits her sister every 2 month who lives less than 30 mins away from here, so you would think they might have the decency to pop in. TYF says none of his grandparents ever came to their house growing up, they always had to go to theirs, even though one set only lived about 25 mins away. V odd people.

Rocket, I feel okay about laying early, so long as it's not A) on Hitler's birthday (20th April) or B) 29th April, which is not only royal wedding but birthday of person I hate most in the world. V cryptic, sorry. Of course, I have now guaranteed it'll be one of those 2 dates!

I think it'd be quite weird for me to go to 40 wks or even over, cos it's been in my head for life that as a member of this family I'll lay a month early! All the women also get absolutely enormous - when she had my brother, my mum's waist measurement was the same as her height! - and then have small, slightly prem babies. I'm certainly on track with the enormo-bump; keep seeing FB pics of lovely PESHes at full-term or nearly f-t and I'm as big as them already!

Enjoy the M6 and that funtime meeting!

I felt last night's OBEM was a bit hmmm too. I felt that the filming was more intrusive with the Polish girl and I couldn't shake off the nasty feeling that it was cos she's young and foreign, IYKWIM. But is prolly cos she agreed they could show whatever they wanted.

Is lovely how Mr Loz is broadcasting his paternal pride to the world :)

I like to get things as ready as I can (unlike Clucky, who is prolly not posting today because she is trying to find the plug for her birth pool or something ) so the thought that I might want to put my knicks back on at any point in labour never crossed my mind! Labour 1 - I whipped them off as soon as I got there and didn't wear them at all in labour. The whole nearly-two days of it. Labour 2 - I sleep nekkid, so I actually had to put clothing on to keep me decent during labour, even though I was at home. No way Jose was I putting anything on though that would get between baybee and the outside world! I suppose I have no inhibitions at all. Makes for one less thing to worry about.

As for the menfolk - keep 'em off the booze. Tis very important.

You need to put a bump pic up Scorps so I can see if you really are as mahoosive as me or not. I feel ginormous. Some other people look far too glamourous and gorgeous.

Welcome to the fun BB sooo good to see you in here!

M6 was predictably shit but made it here in time for meeting, which wasn't as bad as I had thought. I have now finished and would like to go home thank you very much but have to wait to see someone who is still in there so I can confirm if they need me to come in again or not (is it terrible that I am hoping it's 'not'?)

I hadn't even thought about not having my foof on show from pretty early on. Not sure i will be arsed putting pants on and off but I am cunningly intending to wear a sheered dress before getting in the pool so will protect my modestly while allowing easy access And I might take a rubber ducky with me to float in the crucial position once in the pool :o Seriously tho I am sure once the action starts it'll be the last thing i think about.

I'm sure Anne Summers does something in the way of undies that allows you to keep them on throughout by virtue of them having an open gusset? They are probably only in red PVC but at least you will make quite a first impression on the baybee!

See, Bitey , I thought that but didn't write it out loud.

Well, a picture of me would certainly make you feel better, Muse I basically look like Mrs Humpty-Dumpty... after 3 months living in a skip.

Bitey, you are wrong in the brain.

Am v pissed off with TYF. He has asked for Paternity Leave. No problems. In fact, he said his boss, who has 4 kids, leapt up from behind the desk to give him a manly hug and then bombarded him with excited questions. Then TYF tells me he didn't ask for any holiday leave as well as that would've been too cheeky on top of asking for SPP. AAAAARGH! I pointed out that it's not cheeky, it's routine, boring, normal, legal, fine, etc. and that a family man like his boss wouldn't have a prob. TYF says he'll just ask nearer the time, as he wants to look like a good employee. I then point out that he won't look like a good employee if he asks for holiday leave on top of SPP at the last minute (I would not put it past him to ring up on the last day of SPP to ask for holiday leave to start the next week). He gets arsey, says he'll sort it when he feels like it. Trouble is, he'll never feel like it. I lost my temper and told him that if our son misses out on an extra few weeks of bonding time with TYF just because he's been a twat then I'll never forgive him. And that he'll never forgive himself, more importantly. FFS! April and May are some of the busiest months for his company and it's a v small one, so there's every chance that if he just drops the demand for holiday time on them, they quite literally won't be able to spare him.

He really is a wonderful man and I wouldn't swap him for the world, but he really needs to MTFU. There's a limit to how much I can empathise with his issues with confidence and I'm reaching it, rapidly. Of course, if I get annoyed it just makes him feel even more shit about himself. Grrrrr!

Oooh, gussetless knick-knacks. Tis the way forward.

I hadn't thought about knickers v commando either. Now that I do I suppose you would feel less vulnernable without your snatch on display to all & sundry. But I also imagine knickers on - knickers off would become a very boring game quite rapidly. I shall see how the mood takes me. Rocket I do like the idea of a rubber duck. Mr Loz has an Elvis one that lights up when in the water. That way I could entice Bug out into the immediate spotlight.

Scorps I too must see this massive bump of which you speak. I can then compare my crazy shape to yours. I did moan to Mr Loz about being fat, he replied "you're not fat, you're pregnant" to which I wailed "but not in my chin or my arse!" We're meeting friends for lunch on Sat & I'm dreading it. One of the girls is 4 weeks ahead of me, was tres petite to start with & is 10 years younger than me . I wish she was a cow

Am disinhibited through stress and is not my fault! Meeting with boss went as follows:

Boss: Hello Bitey how are you?
Me: (been off sick for first half of week, on compassionate leave for second part, trying not to appear diffed) Oooh fine! Come in, would you like a cup of tea?
Boss: No thanks, can't stop just popping in to say hi.
Me:
Boss: By then, see you next week

Me: Head on desk.

Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Coincidentally, my retro ladies desk calendar says today was a total waste of make up. So tru! My scary stripey face and I are going to slink home soon.

Bump photos all round I think. Can those of us with no bump yet but unsightly spare tyres be excused?

I?m not especially inhibited, but it would give me a modicum of control over who sees my snatch if I kept my knickers on for labour ? obviously they?ll come off for the birth!

Grr, bitey, no hint about your contract then? I?ve been getting messages here about getting in touch when I am planning to return to work, which is great news. Might not come to anything but at least I have an action plan.

I took a picture of myself this morning, so shall post this evening when I get a chance. MrM has been doing a weekly shot of my bump just in my PJs, which he is going to compile into a slideshow, but I occasionally like a full-length one where you can see my face too!