The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Not sure if that is so true, it is rubbish in the snow!

Just been filling out my Mat Allowance application, and checking against the SMP1 my payroll people gave me - all very confusing, 26 weeks before the 15th week before I am due etc... think I got there in the end, but not convinced they've filled their bit out correctly.

Actually, the 205 is pretty good in the snow. Narrow wheels and Mother Nature takes pity on the feeble!

That sounds v confusing, Medee. Do you also need to prove you don't have a supernumerary nipple?

'lo all. BP measured lower this morning - 134/80!! Tis the lower one that is the important one when it comes to home birth or even water birth in hossie - if it goes above 95 I will have to be on a bed and monitored. Unfortunately this is also the number that I can't do anything about - the upper one is affected by stress, food, caffeine, salt etc. The lower one just 'is' according to doc and midwife. I don't really get it - i'm sure there must be some way of influencing it but they say not.

Dont worry Scorps, I really am remarkably laid back about it all - maybe because I cant' do anything about it. I have my little flip out when the plan changes again but really, there is nothing to be gained by it and I soon come round to accepting whatever has happened, cos that is actually better for me and better for baybee. My plan now is that I have no plan!

Doc wants to send a midwife out over the bank holiday to check BP again which is good. I suppose the kind of birth I end up having depends on what my BP is doing that day - if it sky rockets, off to the hossie we go, if it doesn't it is out with pool. It is not that I am beyond caring.... just seems there is so little I can do to influence the outcome either way so I might as well just go with the flow. The only thing we know for sure is that one way or another we will meet our baybee in the next week - 10 days!

Wonder how Mas is doing.

How is everyone else today? Or are they all travelling home/to rellies?

Good news, Pol, hope it stays low.

scorp the MA form thankfully comes with a table to work it all out - the biggest confusion actually comes from the payroll people who you think would have seen this enough times to get right! Did you ever register yourself as unemployed to qualify for M?

I have approx 10 minutes left before I finish pretending to work. Then I am going home, finishing wrapping and giving the house a cursery tidy. I may even hoover. We're staying home tonight so MiniG can have Santa come to his house, then heading North for rellies early doors. There had better be no weather related mishaps as I have NO back up plan or any food whatsoever!

Merry Christmas to all! xxxx

Merry Christmas GG! Hope you have a fabulous time and MiniG is thrilled with his pressies.

Don't get me started, Medee. I've spoken to about 5 different people in various departments who all say they dunno how to sort it out and don't know what I'm entitled to, if anything, and then they tell me to ring so-and-so... who then doesn't fucking know either! They can't seem to get over the fact that I am 38 and highly educated and this is my first baby and my partner has a good job and yet I am ill and unemployed - I don't fit any of their unemployment pigeonholes. Doesn't say much about the regard they hold their more 'typical' clientele in. Meh. New Year, new assault on getting some bloody answers - and some cash, hopefully!

Doesn't help that I miss out on the health in pg grant and all that stuff by only a few weeks

Pol, you sound remarkably sanguine and once again, I am awed by how chilled you are. Mind you, when all you can do is wait and see, there's no point being anything else. I hope you have a lovely Xmas Day and that Boo Two decides on a lovely low-BP home waterbirth for you both at a really convenient time :)

that sounds a nightmare, Scorps (and apols - I wrote unemployed when I meant self-employed). Hopefully you will get answers in the New Year. It doesn't seem the most progressive benefit - the less you earned before, the less you get (if you earned less than 90% of the paltry amount given.)

No, I am unemployed, sadly. I think I'm going to get a pittance, if that

Hello my lovley PollTaxRioter and all the other PESHes. Have a merry merry Christmas all and here's to the safe arrival of LittlePoo. Am in the snowy depths of Wales at moment so cannot trot to 'puter as often as I'd like but am lurking in spirit.
xxx

Hello all. We have had a very uneventful journey to the in-laws. My back does not like cars though. I am currently laying on the bed as I cannot get comfortable anywhere. I wish I had my ball.

Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas. There are going to be about 14 of us here so I may do a lot of hiding and phone mning when it all gets too loud. Lovely having a big family Christmas though.

Happy Christmas, y'alls. I'll be lurking for news of Pol and Mas, but will mostly be stuffing my face and watching telly for the next few. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas!

Glad you got there safely Muse, but soz about the pain. Can you get someone to get you a hot water bottle? Helps me loads when my back is sore.

I think we've just about done all our jobs for today, apart from wrapping Boo's hideous pink castle once she is in bed. We had 'now that's what I call xmas' on this afternoon, me and Boo dancing around while TG did the hoovering. Was lovely and made me feel very much in the spirit! Had to stop fairly quickly though as it did feel as if baybee was going to fall out!

Right, must go and get madam's dinner so we can get her to bed on time. And then I can crack open a mince pie, some more Celebrations and a perhaps a little glass of port. mmmmm!

Drom!!!!. Merry Christmas my babber.

Merry crimbo to those that celebrate it! have recovered from a chest infection and feel human again just in time to enjoy the festivities. We're tucked away in a beautiful converted chapel in Wales near the sea, lots of delish food, lovely family, roaring fire and a ping pong table in the livingroom - couldn't ask for more!

Good luck with the new babies Pol and Mas!

Hello! Sorry for lack of postage - I laid my baybee yesterday morning - was kept in hossie till this afternoon & not had chance to get online since. Haven't caught up properly but thanks all for the thoughts & love xxx. Will go into details later, but the headline is I has a lufferly baybee boy, 8lb 1oz. He's just gorgeous

Merry Christmas one and all. Will be back as soon as I can... xxx

Yay! Congratulations mas. What a lovely way to spend Christmas, snuggling a new baby.

The Maswean is laid! Oh, Mas, how lovely! Sounds like a fine size and of course he's gorgeous - you're his mum after all Hope you're doing okay and feeling well and I'm so happy for you all that you're home in time for your first family Xmas together XXXX Take it easy and enjoy your son.

Twinks, sorry to hear you've been so poorly but glad you're feeling better now.

Pol, your Xmas Eve sounds lovely - hope tomorrow is quiet, fun and full of yum

Sorry about your poor back, Muse. Hope a good night's sleep will really help. Or you could have one of my 'special' massages?

Medee, hope you got to your destination safely.

Nice to see Dromlurk - have a relaxing Crimbo :)

And a Very Happy Christmas to everyESH, everywhere - may it be happy, healthy and wonderful for all (with no laying craziness for poor Pol). And for those of use due to lay in 2011 - roll on the most exciting year of our lives!!!

Yay for Maswera that's bloomin' brilliant - Happy Christmas PESHlings xxxxx

Congratulations, Mas! So pleased Baby Mas is here safe and sound for Christmas. Now have a lovely day!

And love to all the B/P/FESH!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry not caught up as on phone but just popped on for a mo and wanted to say massive congrates to mas on arrival of ickle baba boy! What a fab Xmas pressie!

Happy Xmas one and all, catch up with you after the weekend. Xxx

Yay for BabyMas!!!! How exciting - I do hope you remebered to phone the hotline for OBEM Mas? . Congratulations to all 3 of you - what a wonderful start to Christmas! Can't wait to see pics and hear all about him. Massive but gentle smooches. Xxx

Happy Christmas one and all!

Just popping in to say congrats to maswee! Totally brilliant!

Oh, and merry Christmas to the rest of you PESH-slags.

Congratulations wee!

Blimey - have we got a full BESH football team yet?