The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Congrats mas! well done you! And a good weight too. Hope the birth went well and you are having a lovely first Christmas xx

Just lumbering in to send many fluffy cuddles an' shiz to weewee....congrats my lovely!

Hope everyone has been having a fantastic Christmas, all well and happy here. Think moochie's brain exploded sometime mid-afternoon

Am in stupid amounts of pain though which is just bollocks. Still, is beautiful here, have had gorgeous sunshine for past two days and I'm with people I love. And my son now owns a doctor's kit so he's working on fixing me right proper :)

Love y'all xxx

ooh hello lovelies. also lumbering by into the deli in the hopes that it's a catch all in the land of the fabulous ESH.

Merry Christmas shlaggs!!!

'specially to all the inpatient BESH, creaky old PESH and knackered happy FESH.

still luffs you all - even though i don't get to post much these days.

extra special big hugs to weewee though and the brandest newest squidgyest arrival of all.

well done and all that - can't wait to see the pics

and of course a gentle squeeze for ma ginster and her rubbish pain. keep yer eye on the prize my mate. not long now

kisses to everyone else. mwah! x

Awww, how extra-special to see you in here, Cheggers! Santa has been kind indeed

Sorry you're feeling so painy, lovely Haglet, but at least Dr Mooch will sort it all out with his prescription of loveliness and cuddles :)

Pol, hope all has been quiet on the laying front and that the roads round you start to clear and the BP lowers

Bad Santa has been v generous with me today, giving me a severe headache, nausea, 4 hours sleep only plus agony in back and pelvis. I must have been on the 'Naughty' list...

But apart from all that, its been a wonderful day - TYF cooked most of Xmas dinner, with me doing all the timings like a nazi and everything was wonderful on the pressie front for all involved. We're going to go to Devon tomorrow, so send us safe travelling vibes all day!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Xmas and will continue to have a lovely holiday season. Smooches and bitchslaps all round!

And extra kisses to our newest arrival, little Master Maswera XXXX

PS Wanted to share this funny with you - TYF sorted out the turkey and removed the giblets and he told me there was some sort of extra "abomination" up there too that he had to get rid of but it was okay, because now he is fully prepared for the sights of labour...

Glad you had a fab day Scorps, except for the pain.

All quiet here, it ended up just bring the three of us yesterday as mum was ill and dad didn't want to leave her. Was really deflated at first but waking up and hearing Boo shriek "he's been!" when she saw the stocking on her bed was just magic and we had a really lovely day. TG outdid himself on the roast turkey and I got to lie around and eat doze all day.

I had some twinges and period type backache last night, was glad it didn't kick off though as apparently FIL sank 3 bottles of wine and my dad had loads of Guinness so there wasn't anyone to come and look after Boo if we were at hossie! MIL still has her arm in plaster and my mum is in bed with flu :-(. Bloody typical!

Weve got the in laws over today for more food and pressies. Hope you all have a fab day! X

Hope everyone had a lovely day. Ours was good. Walks on snowy moors, champagne, much food and laughter. But all tinged with a bit of sadness due to absence of TinyNephew. We're all hoping 2011 brings the good news and he fattens up like he's been stuffing his face with turkey and quality street all day long.

Hugest congrats to Mas on the safe arrival of MiniMas - looking forward to hearing all about it.

Sounds like the perfect Xmas Polster....just the rest you need before sneezing the next PESHbaybee out. Sounds like somethings brewing though so not long now.

Getting slightly alarmed at the speed at which we're working through the NotList - can we slow down a bit please

Hope the rest of you had a lovely Xmas too - am off to the pub for a mulled wine to see the hunt off on their quadbikes then clocking off while we see the inlaws (no internet - is prehistoric round their place).

Afternoon all! Am just rousing myself from a turkey stupor.

Mas sorry to be late with the congrats, but what fabulous news! Hope you had an extra special Christmas Day.

I hope everyone had a fab day. Mine was just grand. Nothing outrageous, just family, food & a sneaky drinky. Lubberly. Mr Loz & I have been grinning like fools, cherishing every quiet, calm, organised moment as we feel this will be the last Christmas like it

Anyhoo, more drinks food later at my Nana's, then weather permitting a trip to Devon tomorrow to see FIL.

May everyone have a continued Merry Christmas, x

Congratulations mas, what a lovely Christmas present
Loz the foot dragging one and I also spent the day gazing moonily and saying "this time next year...."

Sorry you had the pain from santa scorps but glad the turkey roasting went so well.

Had a glass of champagne which gave me horrendous heart burn so swapped it for a snowball which was like the nectar of the gods. All was gorgeous and God-daughter being super cute really made the day extra special.

Amongst my many luvverly presents I had the mumsnet guide to babies and was reading happily this morning until I got to the bit abuot lochia and fainted! This does not bode well.....

bitey This is my xmas gift to you: When the time comes you really won't care. JB walked me to the show 48 hours post c-section, as I removed my paper knickers I felt something "odd" and a piece of lochia the size of a pack of butter slithered out and hit the floor. "Oh dear" we both proclaimed, scooped it, wrapped it and binned it. n.b., this is not like Eastenders which currently contains 2 fake BESHes and one real life BESH - none of whom have put on 4 stone not including bump!

Pony Thanks for the festive tale

MrBitey At least you got a helpful baby book. I fear for my poor baybee - I had a jokey what to do & not to do book. Such as do wake baybee with a gentle kiss & not an airhorn.

I did not get any baby stuff, although Bob did get a present of his/her own. A lovely Mog book.

And we spent today in Mothercare buying the pram and a carseat. Plus some tiny little baby clothes. Which are very cute.

So glad everyone's had a lovely Xmas so far. Seems like all of us yet to lay had those glorious 'this time next year' reveries :)

Am in Devon now with the ILs so if Lozza wants a hot date, I'm all yours

Can't type more - TYF is asleep on my shoulder! Big luffs to all...

Aw, thanks Jolls. I have had a good Christmas. Hope you have too.

Did anybody watch One Born at Christmas? I managed about 5 minutes of one episode, but it was premature babies and I had to switch if off. I decided it's all
a bit too real now and even happy stories were going to leave me a wreck. No more watching births for me!

I watched a couple of OBAC but had to FF through the trite commentaries of the presenters. I liked the bit where women from the original series gave their advice on how to get through labour and Joy was all 'be as unreasonable as you like'. I couldn't watch any more because my eyes were threatening to fall out of my head due to the pathetic hormonal crying.

My back is fucked. The aftermath of the fall is really taking its toll now and the bed we're sleeping in is really soft, which doesn't help. I like a punitive mattress at the best of times; the kind so hard a gulag would reject it as too cruel for its inmates to sleep on.

Younger BIL's gf coming later today. She is only 22. I fear coming across as Aunty Dreadful, trying to be down wiv da yoof. I might also put her off pregnancy for life, waddling round like a funky orca clutching my head and back and grunting in pain

Poor Scorps. Back pain is a fucker. Is there a bath there you can use? I have been suffering a bit too and keep having to take myself off to lay on my left side until it eases. Baby kicks me in the ribs and the pain appears in my back at that spot. I think it must be compressing something.

Still, Christmas has been good. Last night I sat looking at the tiny clothes I bought and got all excited. And I have been counting my many blessings. Everyone has gone off to see TinyNeph today. We are going on Wednesday so as not to swamp the place.

Ooh, and I got a Kindle for Christmas, which is completely ace. I'm hoping it'll be good for one handed reading while baby holding. I've also been enjoying doing vast amounts of nothing. Everytime I try to help with something I get told to sit down. It's ace.

I am currently looking at my baby shopping list and wondering where to get all the little bits and bobs from. I guess Boots for the points? And should I buy an expresser before the baby arrives of after? Also a steriliser. Do I need that before or can it wait until I figure out how I'm going to feed?

Thanks, Muse. There's no bath but there is a power shower and I had a lovely long shower earlier and angled the shower head to pummel the worst bit of my back, which really helped. My pain is on the left, where I tried to twist so I wouldn't fall over last week, so at least it'll go off. Feel sorry for you with the kicking setting off back pain I'm thinking of treating myself to a special preggo massage once we're home - perhaps you could benefit from the same?

BUT, you're right that we have much lovelier things to focus on than aches and pains. Am glad TinyNeph is forging ahead and I bet you can't wait for a delicate cuddle on Weds. Am v of your Kindle. I've been thinking of getting one for when the baby comes, as I can happily give up lots of things to allow me to devote myself to motherhood, but reading ain't one of them! Baby shopping lists are sooo overwhelming; I keep thinking about how many tiny things you have to think of and need a lie-down just from trying to work it all out! At least I have a few more months before it's urgent. I asked for gift vouchers from the ILs for Xmas, so I can put towards stuff from JL and Boots. Older BIL was particularly generous (he rarely speaks but I think he is quietly excited - younger BIL just keeps suggesting names like 'Dogtanian' and 'Orangina', sigh).

Re: expressing and sterilising, I've decided to wait until I know what my feeding particulars are going to be once baybee is actually here, but am going to research what brands/models I want in advance so I can send TYF out to get me the right thing once required. That would be my advice, but am sure one of the ESHes who's already a mum will have better advice.

PS I saw your baby clothes on you-know-where: bloody adorable!

pols? how are things with you today? Did the aches and pains progress into anything more?

muse I I have ordered a sterilizer and bottles and expresser already. (very excited by the electric expresser, it was a hand held one when I had the boy child...!) But I think if you are unsure about what route you are taking it could be worth waiting. Having said that, it could be worth taking a couple of disposable bottles and a carton of milk to the hospital to cover all bases.

mas, hope all is going well with you x

Ooh, Pols is quiet. I wonder if things are afoot.

I fully intend to try to breastfeed until I run out of options MrsFC. Can you express right away though, or are you meant to wait a while? I was going for not buying formula in as, it being London, we're never that far from supplies and having stuff in the house might make it easier to stop when I might not really want to.

That is what I thought muse and I did the same. I just didn't want you to think I was a BFing Nazi! I didn't express right away, it seemed like there was enough to worry about. But I have read it can help increase your flow if you latch the baby on one side and express off the other. I reckon buy an expresser now then, but maybe not take it to the hospital.

The boy child took a while to take a bottle and so I'm going to start giving him EBM in a bottle a lot earlier this time. He liked Dr Brown bottles the best, I think the teats are a bit softer. You can get a microwave sterilizer with two DB bottles included.

Sadly I don't have a microwave or space for one.