The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Helloooo!

Seems last Xmas was shite for a lot of us - I started to miscarry on Boxing day and then spent my birthday a few days later in the EPU waiting to be scanned - bummer.

In good news though, I think that the sickness is finally abating - haven't felt sick once today! I'm 11 weeks today! Hoorah! I'm going to start enjoying this pregnancy any day now, I'm certain of it!

Great news on TinyNephew Muse!

Medee smallboo was born with a full head of hair :o

LOL!

So glad to hear the sickness is abating twinks Dont temot fate tho, mine used to come in 3 day cycles. Bring on 2nd trimester when you can chill out and enjoy yourself.

Just been scrumping in the park for holly (i am a bad girl) thought I'd been rumbled by the parkie but it was just a workman still wearing his fluero tabard. Is quite nice out there but I took no chances, 2 tops, tights under jeans, long cardi and wool coat. I am sure i looked like some demented bag lady crossed with an emo teenager, (have painted nails purple for later)

temPt. ffs.

Yo new fred!

Lozza what a knob jockey!!! WTF does he expect - you are pregnant! It's what preggos do!!! Scream in his face. More proof that men are such pricks at times.

As promised I am passing on curlysue's HippoBirfing book and Cd to the first PESH who wants it. Can't promise will be able to post right away but the lucky mare will get it eventually.

So it's the weekend again! Where does the time go? Next week weather permitting I am going to work to take MB in for show and tell.

Wrt shaven havens (soz couldn't resist) I was au natural downstairs. As I ended up having a CS most of it had to be shaved off prior to going to theatre anyway so i see it as a freebie bikini makeover courtesy of the NHS. Well, they got HI to do it. Frigging dry shave too which was a smidge uncomfortable. Once you gals are in labour you won't give a rats arse about your coiffured lady garden. Honest.

I haz two hippobirthing CDs so some other PESH take it. Got the Katherine Graves mp3 but it's a bit odd and not convinced so I got the natal hypnotherapy one. That seems much better. Has actual breathing techniques and self-hypnosis stuff to do when in labour.

I'm curious about the hippobirthing - though is someone more clear in their head they want to do it, they can go ahead.

Mmm, a dry intimate shave. Which was more painful - that growing out or recovering from the cs? One of the many benefits of being a slattern like me is that I already don't bother with owt like that so it's already one less thing to worry about!

I didn't see the Doc today - haven't been able to get an appointment because they're all booked up. Receptionist unexpectedly burst into a frustrated tirade about 'idiots' going mad at the first sight of snow and demanding to see a GP because they'd got mild chilblains, etc.

I has msged Silver begging regarding interest in a free hippo. But I've come over all British about being embarrassed about asking for something offered!

(The Euro-trash part of me screams 'Someone gimme a freebie!' )

You won't need a hippo cd for aaaages yet Scorps, mine says to listen to it from 30 weeks. You can have mine when I'm done if you like, then someone else could have this one? And we keep passing them along through the PESH chain.

I didn't realise that, Muse I thought you had to listen to it as soon as. Durr! In that case, it'd be daft for me to have it. Give it that there tap-dancing marvel Medee, Silvs Gah, I didn't mean to look grasping

Muse, I hope yours has a section on not worrying about one's bikini line - I really need it

I wasn't sure when you were meant to start listening either. I am a bit ahead of myself too. I was listening to the one tonight and got a bit freaked out about the stuff on baby getting into a good position and everything softening. I do not want any softening yet. Bob can stay firmly put for a bit longer.

The Natal Hypnotherapy site does do a pregnancy relaxation cd for 0-32 weeks, and the birth preparation one for 32+ weeks.

Have you lot checked out this site ?
It has emails that get sent weekly from week 13 so not bombarding you with info until it's relevant. I love Janet Balaskas, even though I didn't end up with the water/home birth/ scented candle/ Enya playing experience (actually scratch Enya, that would have been way more horrific)that I envisaged when I was first diffed, some of the stuff was dead useful.

Have just realised she charges for it now. Hmmm. I think I may still have all my PDFs so I'll see if I can dig them out for anyone who fancies a read.

GG meant to say that I love the fred opener! Hilarious! U iz PESH of hidden rhyming talents non?

Please someone have the hippo book!!!!!!!

I would love it the hippo book please, if no one else wants it? Promise to pass it on.

I would like one eventually but its way too early for me. mrsFC my opinion is that whoever is nearest to laying and wants it should get it and then pass it on, then hopefully the maximum amount of people can benefit from the very kind donations of earlier PESH.

Had a VERY interesting night last night, I'm really glad I went in one respect. I have some very funny videos of everyone dancing like absolute twats at the end of the night. I am really getting into the swing of being sober surrounded by pissheads :o Also feeling quite smug at how great I feel right now as they are heading for hangoverville. On the other hand there is some political stuff that has come to a head while I have been out of the office the last 2 days which off course as soon as people had a few drinks, all came out. It was rather complimentary to me which was lovely, but I think they are expecting me to wade in on their side and while part of me wants to as I have great respect for them and would like to help, the other part of me thinks, I'm only there for another 2 weeks and just want to keep my head down. Plus I have quite a close relationship with the person they are moaning about, for TTC reasons the others dont know about and while I may not agree with her management style I don't want her to feel betrayed. FFS This sort of office politics bullshit is EXACTLY why I turned down the fulltime position in the first place! Sorry I know this isn't really the place to vent this stuff, plz to ignore me and/or kick me in ze head>

boo those pdfs would be great! Do you think if I bring my laptop next time I am home, you could bring them on stick?

Ello PESHlies. Apols for the absence recently, I don't seem to have had much of interest to say - am just toddling along wondering when it's all going to happen.... I am due a week today ===> EEEEK!!! Am at times horrified by the reality of it and genuinely feel that we can't possibly have a baby to look after, and at other times... no, hang on, I'm feeling like that all the time. A BAYBEE! That's just scary!!

Ah mas, maybe it'll turn out to be a kitten.

I am currently watching 18 Kids and Counting. 18 kids. Now that is scary.

Did you know you're in Most Active?

A BAYBEE, MassiveAttack? I'm scared at 16 wks, so your brickingit-ometer must be off the scale! Does it feel simultaneously bizarre yet all-too-real? I can't believe you've got a week to go either! Shall be nail-biting all week for yeh Can I interest you in this pineapple madras?

Rocket, am glad you enjoyed the do. Sometimes, the things we think are going to be a bit crap often turn out to be the most fun. Sorry peeps tried to embroil you into office politics. In my last job, it was an all-female workforce and the inter-bitching was a nightmare. I couldn't be arsed with it all. Still, at last you've got some excellent bribery material in those vids, should you ever fall on hard times

MrsFC, you're nearing the finishing line, ain'tcha, so it makes sense for you to get the free hippo. No snowballs from here - we're all extra hormonal and tender at the mo, me esp. I had a meltdown in Sainsbury's earlier because they'd stopped selling Thai sticky rice. Priorities - I haz them straight!

ahh mas yes sometimes the mists of denial part to reveal the frightening reality that i will have a small person to look after, but that is 7 months away so it doesn't happen very often. I am guessing by the time it's potentially 7 days away those mists are a distant memory. i am --hoping- sure that once he/she arrives it will all slot into place

most active? and i thought i had broken thread with random work related drivel. must be a quite day on MN.

I've never been categorised as 'most active' before

Muse, I've seen that. It is... bonkers.

score the most hilarious thing about the night was watching our 24 yr old assistant, twatted off his nut on MDMA, trying to (quite successfully it would appear) chat up the HR person. Seriously, he was virtually incoherent by the end of the night and most worryingly/amusingly his manager (who i mentioned before) was secretly sober as she is just recently diffed. I was just sat there eating virtual popcorn. I must admit being sober at events like this is opening up a whole new world of amusement :o I can't decide whether to be shocked at his abject stupidity or admiring of his FU audacity.