The PESH Deli - No ESH left behind

[PerfectDromedary]

I have opened the virtual gin, found the Desperate Romantics and am about to start playing I've Never. Who's with me?

Well bloody hell, I take one day off mumsnetting...

Muser so glad that they called you back and were v reassuring. Definitely ask for Sharda - you won't regret it. Mucho at your what I normally eat list. I am going to go and add my own touch on that thread shortly. Silly cow (her not you). Sooooooo mean! :)

okie hope your chimneys have been swept to your satisfaction.

MrsFC my life has indeed reached a farcical twist this week. Mice, fleas, knitted boobies, it's all going on here. All I need now is a baybee to complete the picture of utter chaos. You can make it up to your boy child with sugary treats and an entire weekend of DVDs... he will love you forever. Yes I am intending to FINALLY iron some baybee clothes this evening. The cleaner has done some and I can't have her putting me to shame especially as I bought a new iron! The good people of John Lewis carried it all the way to the car for me. I love John Lewis.

Scorps good girl for getting your appointments sorted. Whilst the care has been good as far as I'm concerned so far, the admin has been pretty crap. The MWs are totally unresourced and appointments/mix ups happen as a result. Unfortunately you need to shout loudly when things aren't right. I am so glad I had my nuchal privately at the start because I then found out they had left it too late to do it on NHS (I thought I'd do both).

Today I have cleaned out 3 cupboards, the cellar, bought an iron, done huge waitrose shop including labour snacks and giant bolognese and coq au vin ingredients to make tomorrow. Call me weird, but I'm paranoid about going into labour and having no food in the house. I've bought a ton of cakes, biscuits, loo roll, butter, bread, cleaning stuff and bacon. We can survive until March 2011 I reckon.

Consultant tomorrow morning. No idea what the man will say to me other than Mrs Moo you are having a small child not a baybee. I wonder if he will examine me internally now I am term. I swear to god I thought I might go into labour in supermarket - the twinges were making me double over and do deep breathing. Few more bits to do then this baybee can come out... not just yet please!

Moo I would be very suprised if you get an internal exam.

My chimney is well and truly swept thanks very much. It is the only thing getting a big pole and a good old rummage up it in this house.

blimeymoo any minute now!

laughing at MrFC in Timorthy Spalding fetish shocker.

scorps glad you have bonded so well with your midwife. :o I am now wondering where my 12 week scan appointment has got to as they were sposed to be sending it thru. I wish I had asked about nucal scan at the time, hmm i think a mithering phone call might be in order on Thursday as I know the MW does a session in our surgery then.

muse glad your results are reassuring, but very and about the fact they didnt let you know. And double at your treatment during your scan. I am glad you are sorted with a private one now but think its shite that its necessary really. You shouldn't have to pay for a bit of humanity ffs.

Not much to report here apart from a few more dry heaves. I have bough some sea bands, i dont feel great but then i spose i might feel a lot worse with out them. btw my due date is 3rd June for the Not List :)

Ok, updating the NotList. This is what we have so far:

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29
Skihorse, boy, born 1 July
Carrots, boy, born July
IggyPiggy, girl, born July
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10
VAG, boy, born Sept

UPDIFFED

silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie - due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
ChoChoSan "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb" due 31 January
CluckyKate, hatching an egg - due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science - due February 24
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Muser, will she ever stop puking? - due February 27
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole living on hula hoops - due April 10
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid - due 19th May
Rocketleaf, NEEDS A CAPTION - due 3 June

Not sure if lozza wants to go on yet or not, don't like adding people unless they want to be on. Except for MrsFC, but she was well pregnant when I forced her to join. Incidentally, would you like a new caption MrsFC?

My MrM is eating all my leftovers too - so much so he is developing a "sympathy" belly!

Can I go on the Not List? Pretty please? I'm super gluing my foof shut so this one stays put until approximately 23 June 2011.

I've got such bad wind , can I blame the BOC? What about the entire packet of white chocolate mice I just ate?

Great that your odds are low Meds and good luck for the consultant app tomorrow Honey

My due date has been quoted as between 19th-22nd May. Indecision due to droid being under 28 days and family history of early labours (I predict it'll be before then). Should we put 22nd?

"Rocketleaf - no longer jealous of morning sickness". BUAHAHA!

Twinks, we ain't forgotten you

Scorp I had several due dates - one of them was right . Make sure the hospital have the one you want them to have - a later date suited me fine to avoid any induction threats!

Thanks scorps is perfect. Either that or 'feels too sick to think up a witty caption' :o yours is better tho.

Hunting out the bucket to stash in the car, dry heaving started as soon as i got verticle today so i suspect there may be some substance behind it today. Sorry if TMI. :o

sprocket tis good to be prepared. Travel toothbrush and toothpaste will also be your new best bud.

Not forgotten Twinks, just wasn't sure if you'd joined us properly yet or were still in De Nile. And being on the NotList is not a precursor to being here, I myself refused to go on the NotList for several threads.

How is: Twinkle Toes - superglueing her fanjo shut, 23 June?

Where is Laurie anyway?

Just remembered she's on holiday. Ignore me.

Been to the dentist (virtuous) and now off for hair tidy up as my roots are in a dire state and of course I need to look good to have a baby. I also went via Hummingbird on my way back form my dentist (which is so inconveniently located South Ken but fantastic for cake shop) and bought 9 quids worth of cake which I carried all the way back to the car myself. I will of course share the cake and not eat 9 quids worth on my own but do you think my cake carrying and root colouring will harm my baby?

moo how did you get on and muse have you written your letter yet? Scorps would go for later EDD if I were you or the reason boxer said.

Just realised I am 3rd on the not list - how did that happen? I have only been diffed 3 minutes!

WHERE IS VAG?

For not or.. FFS too much thinking of cake.

I will of course share the cake and not eat 9 quids worth on my own

I fail to see why there is an 'of course' there. You are diffed. Very diffed. Surely eating 9 quids worth of cake on your own is merely fair division of the cake? On the "some for me, some for baby, some more for me, etc" grounds?

I has had my MW appointment which was nice and the MW is actually quite sweet (although she'd changed my title from Ms to Miss on the system and was really funny about changing it back, saying she finds it offensive to be a Ms. Erm, WTF has it got to do with her?). Due date is now set at 21st May - bleedin' FIL's birthday, innit. He's a bit too much 'world revolves around me' for my liking as it is! 12 wk scan plus all tests for 'misfortune' (ahem) are on schedule. She also wants me to go back to GP about constant pain and 24-7 nausea; apparently, constant queasiness isn't normal at all, it should come and go. So now I can go and say, oi, my MW says gimme some drucks!

Bloody hell, I'm pregnant aren't I?! [wets knickers]

I still say slap 22nd May up, just to be sure.

okie I hope that cake is on its way round here... :)

Just back from consultant finally! A lovely bloke who was exactly what I needed. He wasn't worried about me in the least. Said baybee was probably a bit on the big side, but not overly so and would be happy for me to labour at home if that's what I wanted. He had a good feel and agreed he is definitely head down in the right spot so all good. He told me to stop worrying about positioning and just to keep active and all would happen in good time. Mr Moo couldn't resist a told you face at this point.

He went on to talk about the risks that anyone would face and I guess this is what we have been mulling over in the last week - baby heart rate changing, transfer times, PPH and shoulder issues. I guess what it all boils down to is what constitutes an acceptable risk and despite all these things being highly unlikely we can't help but feel that MW led unit is probably in our hearts where we should be. I don't feel brave enough to really make that decision and that isn't the way you should feel heading into a HB situation.

Got home and then MW concidentally (or not) called to say that the community cover for next 2 weeks is horrendous (only 2 MW covering entire district) and unlikely that everyone will get their hb. Sort of validated our decision really... it would be worse to plan for something and then not get it.

So, after 7 months of wanging on about homebirths, that's that! Feel totally relieved that we know what we're doing as far as anyone can at this point. Just need to work out how to use the bleedin car seat now.

Excellent news Scorps, hope you get some drucks now. Babies never arrive on their due dates, just tell FIL a different date anyway.

moo glad you've made a decision your happy with it. I'm sure the midwife led unit will be ace, that's where I want to go. It'll be similar to a homebirth but you're a bit closer if necessary. You're going to lay a baybee!

Fffffffuuuuucccckkkkkkkk!!! I'm not ready yet!!! :)

Exciting though. Where the devil is VAGGY?

Afternoon all,

honeyMummy, glad it went well with the consultant & the baby isn't too much of a chunk! Sorry about the HB, but I think you are right - accepting something is half the battle, wanting something & then not getting it can be too soul destroying, it's better to accept and move on. And cleaning out cupboards? NESTINGNESTINGNESTING......

silver - bad news about HI neglecting you for some boys in white. Did you get a foot rub to make up for it? No...? They have No Clue.

There has been a lot of cake talk. Now I want doughnuts. I am in awe of you all eating 10 in a day. Want want want. And okie, surely £9 worth of cake bought in Kensington equals one small cupcake. Which OF COURSE you must eat.

And twinks, I was all about the wind in the first few weeks. Thank the Lord for my own office...

nom nom nom moo that is good news. Maybe you can go for that room in the Carmen Suite with the funny looking chair and let me know what is it is like? It looked like somethig the gimp should be tied up in but I am sure it is to help you lay a baybeee. You get your own room with a jacuzzi afterall! Just take in your own selection of booze and create your own minibar.

Scorps yes you iz diffed. Are you going to spend te next 30 odd weeks in De Nile though? And you joke about the wet knickers - this wil soom become the norm! I am still quite unsure how I can produce so much FJ! I don't think I am alone on this one either (sorry TMI)

I am blonde again so I will look tres glam in the baby pictures - .

okie glad you haz lush hair. Plz to deffo not do a Cat Deeley naff fricking "c'mon girls SWISH" shite pose. The worlds most irritating advert. EVAH.

Hope the VAG laydee is ok.

We are not talking abot FJ in this house. I am sick of it. I am going to take out shares in pantyliners.

Oops - just got really gobby and stroppy with someone on the pregnancy tube seat debate. Off to hide now.