The PESH Deli - No ESH left behind

[PerfectDromedary]

I have opened the virtual gin, found the Desperate Romantics and am about to start playing I've Never. Who's with me?

I have developed hairy knees! WTF is that about?

There is a thread in pregnancy about what you eat in a normal day. I am trying to resist the urge to post something along the lines of:

Breakfast: 2 soft poached eggs, parma ham, homemade hollondaise sauce, toast. Massive cup of coffee

Lunch: Brie & grape sandwich, sushi, homemade chocolate mousse,

etc, etc.

Also everyone is too healthy. Latest pregnancy updates says baby's tastebuds have developed and I could now be laying down the foundation for what Bob will want to eat when the time comes. Sorry Bob, Cadbury's Caramel and roast beef monster munch for you.

muser Well the top four have laid already (although I'm not sure of dates). silver is next - if she's got time to lay of course - busy lady!

Yep, list is very out Pony, we ran out of time to fix it last thread. Must sort it aaaht this time.

Muse, I am tempted to invent a new persona and pretend to be diffed, and claim to all of the above. Plus nightly glass of vin rouge.

Oh hang on it's fucking carried-a-cake woman!

I honestly being to suspect it's some 60 year old man with some weird pregnancy fetish. I refuse to believe someone presumably born in 1984 would keep referring to other women as 'pregnant ladies' etc. etc. etc.

I have demanded on FESH that they update their laying dates - although I think boxer was 1st September and cossie September 3rd?

muser Please do post that list - but don't forget blue brie sarnie and maybe a double shot espresso? Jack Daniels chaser and a green fag for pudding. Say you need to keep your energy levels up for skiing/horseriding/running/leaving your oxygen bubble.

Dear pregnant ladies - I am currently eating steak tartare accompanied with a pint glass of own-brand vodka. Is this good pregnancy nutrition?

(Mini-Scorps is only going to be able to stomach vegan burgers, goat's cheese (pasteurised! It's nearly all pasteurised now!) chips and quiche, if my current food/nausea aversions are anything to go by )

I ate my body weight in chocolate when I was pregnant with the boy child and when I was BFing too. (I told exH that the baby liked chocolate milk).

Anyway - I now have the ONLY child in the developed world who doesn't like chocolate. Go figure. It's great when he gets it in his party bags though - he gives it all to his big fat mama...

(He WILL eat his body weight in Haribo though.)

I ate cake mixture last week. With raw egg & EVERYFINK innit. But I had to do it without the FC seeing. He is the annoying pregnant food police.

For the avoidance of doubt, I DO NOT FANCY TIMOTHY SPALL.

7th.

Sorry to hear that your scan was so unpleasant, Muse - hope you get nicer results at the private one.

And Scorp, well done on unleashing the wrath - surely if they have a poor uptake of medical contact, they should be working harder to get it!

In my own NHS news, phoned surgery again, and in "Don't call us, we'll call you news", the results (Downs and Spina Bifida) were back and all "normal" - which I am assuming means everything is low risk.

Great news medee. Did they say it would be followed up by a letter saying what the ratio would be?

No, midwife had said I would only get a letter with that if I was high risk. So at least I am not that. I shall ask at my next MW appointment though, just out of curiosity.

We need to add in a BIG cake and a M&S wine laced risotto to the "what have you eaten today" list create by our friend. Go on muser or Alpy I dare you..

Good new, Medee. They would defo tell you more if there was anything to worry about, but will be good to get more facts from the MW.

When they told me about the poor uptake of services, I did have to stop myself asking why, if no bugger bothers going to the appointments and scans, then how come I was having to wait so farking long?!

sept 5th for me :) sorry for lack of chat only seem to find time for one fred atm hope you is all well

CosmoSmallpiece! How are you and your small, my dear?

I am no longer pregnant, but I have contributed. What a bunch of lentil eaters they are! (And I say that as someone who likes lentils myself, but they are coming across as a bit too virtuous.)

I contributed. It's getting a bit more realistic. If anyone else talks about steamed prawns I shall go back and describe the (wonderful) day when I ate an entire pack of jam doughnuts for lunch (sort of, they were spaced over the afternoon). All 6 of them. Oh yum.

muser I did that a few times pre and post birth. The bags in Tesco were two for £1. That was 10 jam doughnuts that had to be eaten within 24 hours. And I had to rescue them from the wasps swarming the kitchen

Of course, now I can only dream of them

I might write up mine, but I'm afraid it will make me very, very hungry

I did mean to save some for MrM Casp. But then I ate one too many and he would have been appalled by my greed so, naturally, I ate the rest of the evidence.

Nice work! I just always ate one for me, one for Squeaker. Those were the rules in our house. Three jaffa cakes left? Easy, one for him, two for "us". It's a perfectly fair solution IMO.

I could get behind those rules. Although I do genuinely find it difficult to eat a lot in one go anymore. So in our house it's more often "I'm full, do you want the rest?" much to MrM's delight.

This does not apply to food consumed over the course of the day though, which is why I can still put away an entire pack of jam doughnuts or a massive bar of Cadbury's Caramel. Little and often.

MrsFC doth the laydeeeeeee protest too much.....??

HI is a bit like the food police too - in that he only really cares what I scoff cos I is carrying his PFB. I am merely the vessel. He is wantig the baybee to arrive asap and is getting frustrated, he is also working hard and is tired and hence not being his usual tolerant self when my own mood swings are on a roll. . To keep him happy I am having to out up with the shite that is the bleeding football.

I fink moozoo will lay before me. As alps said I am faaaar too busy to set aside a trillion hours to sneeze this small dude out.

Meant to say MrsFC if I had a small child I probably would have done something similar to you by now. I have shouted at the cats a lot and chased them out the flat when they really pissed me off for some reason I don't remember.

Do not feel too guilty, just give some cuddles.