The PESH Deli - No ESH left behind

[PerfectDromedary]

I have opened the virtual gin, found the Desperate Romantics and am about to start playing I've Never. Who's with me?

muse I forgot to say that my 20 wk scan wasnothing like yours but not enjoyable either. Mardy cahh sonographer. We didn't even get asked if we wanted a picture. So we don't have one.

I agree with curlykale complain. It's not on. The distress they caused you. ESP unwittingly! It's worrying enough as it is and they should have kept communicating with you instead of using you as a guinea pig. Besides aren't they supposed to ask your permission first for trainees/students to participate??

The WWC sounds perfect and I am sure you will get what you need from them. Perhaps Bob is psychic and was secretly sticking a finger or two up at them cos he knew they were being mean to his momma!!

Thank you all. You have made me feel so much better. I was wondering if I was just being unrealistic.

Pony This scan is the only bad experience I've had, so I don't want to go fully private. But yes, another private scan is definitely going to happen. Just have to decide when and what kind.

What a shame Muse, it doesn't take a genius to work out that you are going to be hanging on the sonographer's every breath in those situations...even if they can't see what they want to yet, they could just explain that position of baby might take a little while to find, and reassure you.

If WWC doesn't work out I can also recommend Fetal Medicine Centre - they are fab, spend LOTS of time with you, AND they warm up the gel they spread on you!

...and I bet they don't use dildocam at 20 weeks, either!

I am very confused by dildocam now. According to my notes I consented to an exam to assess pre-term delivery risk. I think that was dildocam. He did mumble something about pre-term delivery, and then sent me off to the loo. But I was not expecting dildocam. So I'm not sure that counts. Has nobody else had that assessment? My hospital may be unique.

It is crazy what you just accept in these situations though. I am a mouthy cow, but I just went along with it all because, well, you assume they must be doing what's best.

Anyway, enough me. Has anyone laid a baybee yet? Who has gone quiet?

Everyone's gone quiet!

As we are approaching 900, shall we start thinking about the NotList? Saves a mad dash at the end. This is last NotList. It requires much updating. How many new baybees will be laid before next fred?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29
Skihorse, boy, born 1 July
Carrots, boy, born July
IggyPiggy, girl, born July

UPDIFFED
Cosmosis, the baybee that is never going to come out, due August 22
backinthebox, thinking of inventive uses for courgettes, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September 1
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie - due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
ChoChoSan "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb" due 31 January
CluckyKate, hatching an egg - due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science - due February 24
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Muser, I threw up behind a tree - due February 27
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole living on hula hoops - due April 10
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid - due 19th May

I like my addition, but don't forget Rocket and Lozza (mah diff-sistahs) :)

Muse, sorry to mention the scan again, but you know I've already suggested writing a letter. The sonographers need to learn how to deal with women in a decent manner. The way they behaved would've been rude enough if they were doing the scan the usual on-belly way, but the fact they were ignoring you and so uncommunicative whilst using the internal probe on you for very long stretches of time and more than once, is what makes their treatment of you very, very substandard and thoughtless. Be a champion for all the other poor differds getting treated shoddily by these twats!

Well, I've had to ring some central number given to me for emergencies to ask if anyone has sorted me out a MW appointment for next week, which will be 9 weeks. Woman on end of phone genuinely nonplussed that I am eager for this and that I'm insistent on wk 12 scan! Apparently, as nearly all of their preggos are under 25 and from 'less advantaged homes' (as she put it), not many of them bother with appointments or scans. She seemed to think telling me this would somehow make me say, ok, well, I'll not bother either then - you go back to reading Take A Break. So someone will be ringing me back in 'the next few days' to talk about if I want a scan, etc. I made it VERY clear that the 12 week scan IS happening, not ifs or buts, plus ALL the tests for abnormalities, etc.

FFS. It hardly inspires confidence when I'm treated like some sort of obsessive pest just for presuming I'll get the bare minimum of contact and treatment as laid down by NHS guidelines!

FUCKING ARRRRRGH! They've just rung me back - my so-called 9 wk appointment is on NOVEMBER 3rd. THREE days before I'm 12 weeks! When I point this out and ask if they're then going to sort out the scan very quickly, she said, well, it always takes a few weeks. She then asks me why I'm so bothered about having a 12 week scan! I point out I'll be 38 at 12 weeks, I want all the tests doing, I want to see my baby and above all - IT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO. Jesus fucking wept.

She then told me that it's 'quite likely' they'll be able to fit me in by 13 weeks and 6 days, which is the last day you can have the nuchal fold and all that checked. I say that 'quite likely' is NOT acceptable and I am very unhappy about the lackadaisical approach and again, insist on reassurance that I WILL have a scan by then. She then says we could pay for a private one - I point out that we are not going to pay for something that the NHS is supposed to provide. Lots of to-ing and fro-ing about it not being end of world if it's after 13+6, me insisting that I want total reassurance I won't be let down. After much arguing, she then lets it slip that SHE is my midwife and she's who I'll be seeing from now on. What a great fucking start! Waiting until practically 12 weeks just for the initial appointment AND a possibility that they might fuck up getting me the scan within the required time AND the midwife already hates me. CHAPEAU*!

Why? WHY is is always me who gets fucked round by useless twats?

*VERY sarcastic French expression (with hand gestures) for a hat trick of shite.

What is it with your PCT scorps? It's like every man jack of them has stumbled into healthcare by accident - "But wait, I applied for a course in Leisure and Tourism... six figure salary you say... go on then, why not, I'll give it a go!"

scorpalina Is your pregnancy likely to be considered high risk due to any of your existing health conditions (as mine was)? If mine hadn't been, I would not have had any antenatal contact until 14-15 weeks when I was booked in by MW. This despite me seeing the GP at 7-8 weeks. It was just because I was called to a consultant app that I got my 12-week scan. It was a case of "have you been scanned yet?" "No" "Ok, we might as well do one then". But they don't do nuchal on the NHS here, so that wasn't an issue.

muse I know what you mean about just accepting it. I'm a gobby little shite normally, but something about hospitals turns me into a church mouse . Thankfully, I found some balls in the end and called the hospital back near the end of my pregnancy and made them explain. I felt so much better for it.

BUAHAHA! Evil Scorps strikes again! MW has just rung me back and said she has jiggled her appointments around and can see me tomorrow at 11.40! Which then, of course, means they have a month to sort the scan out. She admits that she hadn't realised I was 37 with elf ishoos until I pointed this out.

This also means that I have now officially turned into my Dad, who has always told us that 'you've got to hassle people until they get their act together. You need things doing more than you do to make them like you'.

I am Cruella over the phone, but pathetic and weedy in person.

She also now thinks I'm a weirdo - when she told me to bring a bottle of wee and meet her at the venue, I said, oooh, what a glamorous date and she made a WTF noise and seemed offended. It's going to be a long 7 months...

PS She also asked me if I shortened my RL name down to anything. When I said no (how hard is it to say 2 syllables?!), she seemed quite put out by that, too. SIGH. I can't be dealing with mimsy fools.

Oh wow. Any chance you could move house to a new PCT?

Glad you got it sorted. I am sure your midwife will turn out to be lovely in the end.

Your dad is right by the way, I have a lot of experience of listening to people talk about the NHS. The one thing they all say is: you don't get unless you make a fuss. And it's true.

In the spirit of which, I will be writing to the hospital in the hope it might help them learn,

And, more excitingly, we are booked in for a repeat scan at the nice private clinic next week Monday. Hooray!

My PCT's like Curly's - you see someone before 14 weeks, but either GP or midwife suffices unless there's a particular reason to see both. Did the GP give you any information as to who would see you when Scorps ? I think it does vary quite a lot between PCTs.

Muse yay for scan next week

At my PCT I had my 12 week scan booked in before I'd even seen the midwife. And I saw the midwife at 8 weeks. Both my scans have been bang on the 12/20 week mark.

For all yesterday was awful, they're pretty good the rest of the time.

Muse, sounds like your PCT is very well-organised but they're lacking interpersonal skills, whereas mine seems to not be brilliantly organised but the people you see are generally really nice and kind. Swings and Raaaahndabaaahts, innit.

Cass, am seeing MW tomorrow and I'll be asking who I see for the scan. Will be at one of the local hospitals (am v near one, about 20 mins from another). Have also found out that the hossie I'll probably have Teh Baybee at is the same one that TYF and his elder brother were born in, which would be lovely (is odd though, cos he didn't grow up particularly near here). Hospital I was born at was at centre of a scandal about 70s infant mortality in the early 80s, so won't be moving anywhere near there

Muse another vote here (although a bit late) for WWC on Fulham road. I have seen Sharda Snr Sonographer (12 week scan) Keith Duncan a consultant who specialises in foetal medicine (CVS and anomaly scan) and Jackie Snr Sonographer (32 week scan). I rate them all although Keith was a bit shit at my CVS (most traumatic) but perfectly great at the anomaly scan. I would definitely have it done again. FWIW I thought the scans last time on NHS were a bit of a "process" and I got very little explained to me. I have since learnt to ask many questions inc "what are you looking at now", "is that normal", "what does that mean in English" - I am sure I am a PITA but FFS a bit of common decency and communication can;t be that difficult!

Scorps that is truly shit. Could you in any way try to see this midwife face to face which may help? If you have any concerns at all could you go to the hospital for an early scan? Do they offer the nuchal scan combined with bloods in your parts? You will need bloods done around the same time as they combine these results with the nuchal results to give a better risk assessment and you don?t want the two processes to be too far apart form each other IYSWIM. I would push for dates being brought forward a bit if that is possible. Maybe the pain you are experiencing is a reason to go to early assessment centre at hospital for a scan?

Moo glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. You will feel a lot better once you have tomorrow over a done with and you don?t feel so much in limbo. I am very impressed with your domestic tips. I thought vinegar was just to go on chips.

In me news I had appt with my consultant this morning who just happened to slip in that she is booked in for an operation 2 days after my due date and will be off for 3 weeks! She is supposed to delivering my baybeeeeee! Ahhh! Best laid plans and all that! I will be having serious words with this one about putting in an appearance before the EED

X Post - glad it is sorted scorps and yay for the scan next week muse. Where are you going and who wil you see?

Oh and moo I too am still measuring big for dates 39 weeks at 36. I reckon we will give birth to weaned, potty trained toddlers who will sleep through the night from birth..

Crikey - lots has happened since I was here last!

Muse - your nephew is just tiny and perfect! Is he still doing well? It's weird to think that Mr Punchy inside me is actually still only that small. It's miraculous is what it is. And I'm so sorry about your scan. That is a bit rubbish. It's a pretty scary time, and while they have to concentrate to do their jobs, a smile of reassurance would go a long way, as would a bit of explaination. I think if a 3d scan is possible you should definitely go for it. I wonder if we are in the same hospital - being from the same manor n all....

Oh yeah - properly actually laughing at the cheek of MrMuse sending you a Yurt photo...

honey - ironing?? WTF? I don't hold with it. The FC does all his own ironing and the small boys school shirts too. I wear my clothes creased. I feel it makes me more approachable as an HR Officer. And MOUSE? What with that and the knitted nipples, I think your life is just too surreal...

okie - time to start reflexolgy, pineapple, RL tea sex & nipple teaking. In proper earnest. Let mini okie know who is boss from the outset I reckon.

In me news - I haven't been here for a while due to being in a RIGHT OLD NARK. No reason, just really really fed up with the world. The small boy is changing schools to the local one, his first day was on Mon & he was really nervous. Instead of me being lovely & caring & understanding, I lay on the sofa barking at him and then having an actual screaming tantrum with him because he'd broken a toy. He is seven. The FC was furious with me and I was just too insanly angry to care. I managed to be nice to the boy - but still wasn't very loving, and he went to bed. Cue hysterical tears from me at 9pm because he was asleep and I wanted to say sorry.

Not really sure how to calm the fuck down, but am reassured to see that I am not the only PESH living up to her name. Love you all...

Oh Mrs FC I hear you. I once picked mini okie #1 out of his cot when he was fast asleep to say sorry for shouting at him and dropped tears all over his face (he didn;t wake up). I saw my neighbour in the supermarket the following day and she said she had heard me scream at him. I felt very bad.

Now what is all this you are suggesting about teh sechs?!

I have a chimney sweep in my lounge. Now, it is not every day you can say that...

Oh okie - I'm so glad it wasn't just me!

And a chimney sweep...? Well - all that dirt & soot & I BET he has a great torso from all that pole pushing. And You know who the father is already, so...

he is about 60 clearly has high blood pressure or is a bit of a drinker and is quite rotund...

Bugger. That's no good. Any hunky builder types working on your street? (You'd have no luck on mine - they all look like an ugly version of Timothy Spall in Auf Weidersen Pet)

Errrrrrr you think Timothy Spall is a looker MrsFC?

NO!!! That's what I mean - the builders on my street are all grim grim grim....

We have some nice scaffolders at work though....