December 2010: no, it's not an autumn pumpkin up my jumper ...

[Miffster]

...and we're gliding towards the third trimester, draped in suitably flowing attire.

thanks everyone Im sure I will manage :-)

Lottalove Im at your DH bum comment! Im sure he means well though...men are so useless!

Hey all, I'm on holiday, but popped on for help as I'm being driven up the wall by my hot burning blotchy hands (and feet)!

If anyone has had this or has any insight to offer, let me know!
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1043388-Hot-burning-blotchy-hands-amp-feet

I don't think it seems like OC...maybe a weird neuropathy (like carpal tunnel but causing burning not tingling/numbness).

I'll catch up when I get home...internet connection here is crappy!

Stoopid links

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1043388-Hot-burning-blotchy-hands-amp-feet

To all the commuters on here this thread has had me snortig and crying with laughter on the train back today.

Hi guys, happy end of the week! I'm so glad its Friday :)
On the walrus theme yesterday my DH told me I look like a Teletubby then said 'in a nice way' definitely isn't putting him off sex though - i'm just too knackered most of the time!
Also saw how huge I look in my graduation pictures I think the human brain is a marvelous thing as in my head I'm still normal weight with a neat bump, unfortunately as they say the camera doesn't lie :(
Sorry for everyone in pain, i've just started getting pains at the front of my pelvis which I'm hoping are going to disappear over the weekend whilst I'm away from my desk.
Have a good weekend everyone x
and congrats c&g

Hrrmph

I wish I could find a way to talk to my DH about how I feel about Christmas and how I might feel after the birth without it becoming a big issue.

Hope everyone is ok and not too blue. I feel huge too and over emotional. Not much sex here, I just don't feel like it, and when I do DH is dead to the world in the spare room because of his snoring.

Hi all,

DF sorry it's proving difficult to have a contructive conversation with your DH. How about emailing him? I know it might sound odd but you can take your time to compose it carefully and because you're not in front of him when he reads it he might think about how he responds.

Sorry to everyone who's OH's aren't making them feel gorgeous. I think men can feel a bit freaked out and tbf with raging hormones, they do sometimes have to tread a bit carefully with us!

We got confirmation at work today that they will be making redundancies. Thankfully our office has been spared in the first round, but this is a cot cutting programme that's supposed to continue for the next 3 years, so I imagine there'll be more job cuts to come.

I don't think an email will work to be honest. I have avoided bringing it all myself up and only try to speak to him when he mentions it. Today I tried to explain that while neither of us have a clue how the birth will go, when it will happen or how we will feel - I still have a lot of anxiety about what could happen specially if the baby is born close to Christmas.

I said that I might not feel up for going to the big family meal and tried to explain the whole 3 day milk coming in/baby blues thing. I think he just doesn't realise that pushing a baby out of you and then learning to cope with it all is going to be hugely overwhelming even if you don't have stitches, complications etc. I don't want to insult his intelligence but he hasn't read as much as I have and he is quite separated from the whole birth thing which I guess for men is completely natural. I am hoping the NCT classes give him a better idea.

The baby may come early, of course, but he keeps saying that it's 'much more likely to come around the due date isn't it?'. Fair play he does accept that if we have to cancel going to his mum's temporary place for Christmas then no one will mind but I don't think he is factoring the days after the birth into that. Nor is he fully accepting of my need to have some time alone with just us and the baby. He got a bit purse-lipped earlier.

If I am being truthful I guess I am feeling a bit resentful about the fact that it feels like I'm going to be expected to do what other people want to do and my own family won't get a look in. Plus I am dreading constant visits for 3 weeks brfore, during and after the birth.

Sorry to moan (again) and really sorry to hear about the possible redundancies.

Hi df how soon are your classes? I think if they are quite soon you should hold off trying to broach the subject again till after they start (as its already a sore subject), from what I've heard that's the first time most men really start to think about the birth as its just too far removed from them before then. My DH hasn't done much reading either and I'm hoping the classes kick start him being more involved too. Also maybe it'll give you chance to talk about your worries about the period after the birth and visitors etc in an open forum so it isn't one on one and you aren't addressing it purely at him and I bet lots of the women will agree with you so he may start to see it as a genuine concern rather than you getting at his family.
I haven't even spoken to my DH about Christmas yet but because I've thought about it a lot it may well become a heated subject for us too. He is always super sensitive about us seeing his parents as much as we see mine so it's already a bit of a thorny issue :( we have our first class next Friday so I think I'll wait and see what conversations that generates! Good Luck :)

sorry to hear about the redundancies that must be really worrying

df When are you due? and is it your first? Am I wrong in thinking that first babies are normally late or am I just being told that over and over to stop me constantly informing people hhow long till my due date?

Hi there

thanks both.

The baby is due on 11th Dec, though we think the 13th as we are sure of our dates it being an IVF baby. Yes it's our first so I am thinking more likely to be late. having said that, of 3 friends who recently had babies one was on time, one had a C-section and the other was almost 2 weeks late so I know anything can happen!

NCT classes start in November so ages away really but I agree it might be a better time to discuss all this. Most of the time I am fairly chilled and have a 'we'll deal with it when it happens' kind of attitude but because Christmas was brought up today I think it's just sent me off on one in my own head, where I start thinking of worst case scenarios.

I've just spent the last hour trying to move stuff about only to have to put it all back to where it was in the first place1 DOH! Maybe this is nesting?

oooooh maybe :-) I love nesting, I dont want to stop and go back to being slovenly again, I love having a clean house

Hello everyone and happy weekend.

So sorry so many of you are struggling with pain. Personally, I've found my energy levels really flagging this week and that's been the biggest struggle. It's like I've suddenly been deflated and it's an enormous effort to get myself into the normal working gear...

A question (and apologies in advance if this is TMI...): I'm 28 weeks now but haven't had any signs of milk coming. I know I should be thankful for the absence of embarrassing leaking moments (!) but should I also be worried that I haven't had any yet?

Hope everyone's enjoying the sunshine, it's one of those beautiful crisp autumn days here

Morning everyone. Sorry but little moan needed. I am so sore. Just taken DD round the supermarket to buy a present for friend's DS birthday as she's coming round today. Even though DD was really good and walked nicely next to me (I can't lift her into/out of trolley or push it) and I had my support belt thingy on, just going round the supermarket and driving back home was really painful. It seems to be getting worse and I'm feeling pretty grumpy and stressed knowing I still have so long to go and wondering if this is now it for work.

Also the codeine the doc gave me has big warnings on it that it is addictive! I'm not sure I want to add weaning myself off painkillers I'm addicted to to my list of things to do in last couple of weeks of pg. They don't really seem to be helping pain wise, but are making me feel a little bit spaced and woozy. Haven't taken any today.

hettiew I haven't really had any signs of milk yet other than once or twice a tiny crust of what could have been milk (sorry TMI!) I did have a little squeeze out of curiosity the other day but nothing came out. I don't remember leaking before I had DD and I BF her for ten months. I did have to pump once or twice in hospital to encourage my milk in, but think that was more to do with DD being jaundiced and sleepy so not giving my boobs the stimulation they needed as couldn't keep her awake to feed.

DF sorry you're worried about xmas and you OH not being as helpful as he could be. I have been worried too on and off about my DH's family as he has a lot of relatives, but have decided there is nothing I can do other than see what happens. I was going to try and set some boundaries with DH and his family in advance but now I think that could raise a load of controversy which may not be needed - e.g. could have baby 2 weeks early, be a great delivery and feel really up for seeing people at xmas. Or I could still be pregnant at xmas .

Hettie no sign of milk here and I am 28 weeks too. I haven't been brave enough or curious enough to try to get some out though

wholelottalove not sure about Codeine being addictive but when I had it I felt woosy too - infact it made me feel very sick. Sorry to hear you are in pain

I feel like I will have to set some boundaries too, I have tried to nudge my SIL (Married to my DH's brother) into conversations about coping with the whole thing and she has told me that she has a voice and will be using it (Her baby is due in March) whenit comes to visitors and in-laws so I guess I just need to find my own voice and start using it too... if the need arises.

Iam going in with my daughter and her partner,but i will stay in the background and if she needs me i will be there,i will let her partner do what he wants and if he feels he cant cope,i will be there to hopefully reassure them both.

As they both very young only 17,i dont want to feel like im taking over,im sure your mum will be the same.good luck.

Hi All
I am a bit late to catch on with mumsnet but have been having a nosey at all the posts for the past week or so and gotta say it's so nice to see you all supporting each other, and for me to see that a lot of you have the same anxieties as me! Its my first baby (26wks) and can be lonely at times when you're used to an active social life. I suppose in a way I don't want my DH to think i'm boring now that i'm teetotal and general feeling knackered all the time.
But anyway just really wanted to say hi :)

df I think it sounds sensible to leave it now until your classes start. Once DC has arrived, hopefully he'll be so wrapped up in him/her and what you've been through, he'll forget all about plans with family etc and you'll get what you want anyway!

lauren while you can't predict what will happen, I think it is generally accepted that first babies are more likely to be late than 2nd or 3rd ones. Mine was.

welcome sweetuphoria

hettiew if it's any consolation, I never had any signs whatsoever of milk when I was expecting DD.

WLL sorry you're suffering, it must be horrid. I've had back pain around my right hip for ages now, due to being pg and I find that wearing, but it doesn't sound anywhere near as bad as those of you with SPD.

Had my mum and dad here all day in mammoth effort to get on with decorating DD's new bedroom so she can move out of the 'nursery' in time for DC2's arrival. Although DC2 will be in with us for 6 months, I want DD settled in her new room in plenty of time. DH was a bit obsessed with doing the hall stairs and landing first but I've convinced him that I'm right. It's a bit like a massive chess game though - we have to keep moving something to make space for something else, to make space to decorate etc. The place looks like a pig sty - lauren you'd be in trauma if you could see it but the plaster has been cleaned up!

Well it's take away for us as we've knackered ourselves. Hope I haven't overdone it and will suffer for it tomorrow (fingers crossed).

hhaha max I was cleaning the bathroom at half 10 last night after getting in the bath then spying dirt EVERYWHERE...so I got out, cleaned the bathroom then had a shower...I cant wait to get back to being lazy like I used to be!

Hi sweetuphoria

There is some thing about supermarkets that just make SPD a whole lot worse!!

We have my SIL staying with us (shes a MW and will be our doulla too) and DD is acting up big time showing off!!

Whilst we decided that baby wont have its own room (we have 4 bedroom house but one is our office and one is just the "spare" for people that stay) and as the baby will be breastfed hopefully it seemed silly to me to loose the use of the spare room (and I am not getting rid of office) but hadnt occoured to me until last week that we have no spare chest of drawers etc to put baby clothes in our room, and today MIL produced this really cute 3 drawer pine chest for us!!! I feel so happy that DP's family are so lovely :)

In agreement about energy levels - make sure you're all eating nice food -

measured my tummy, 42 inches HELL YEAH!!! where has my 28 inch waist gone!!

Evening all, really busy day today - "spring" cleaning after school holidays - DH has said he hasn't had time to do any with DD off (can't imagine a SAHM getting away with that one ) Dd has her birthday party tomorrow so had to clean as didn't want her friends beign frightened by all the spiders webs. She has been really playing up today - we have had to threaten to cancel the party a couple of times, not sure what is wrong with her as she is normally so well behaved. Think it may have been effects of starting school this week as well as the excitement of her birthday - I think she realises she is growing up!

Oh my DH wants me to point out he has also been trying to restore the caravan and "maintain" the Landrover for the show season

Just out of curiosity...how do you maintain a landrover? is that like oil changes and such?

Hi guys,

Just sitting here in the hosp doing my glucose tolerance test. I am sooooo bored! Had two lots of blood taken and they struggled with that so god knows what they are going to do when it's time for the next lot!

MrsS how old will your DD be? Hope she has a nice birthday. Our DD (2.5) is being a little bit challenging at the moment, not sure if she is reacting to the pregnancy or me not running around after her like usual or just her age.

Hi sweetuphoria

DF I've been thinking about why it is so hard to find your voice and speak up. I find it hard with my family as well as DH's. I wonder if it's a female thing? Just general unassertiveness, although I can be quite assertive when I need to be. I think it's harder if you're feeling vulnerable - pregnant, emotional, homrmonal etc not to mention post-birth. But if we don't say anything, people might not realise they are actually overstaying their welcome etc.

OWO that's kind of your PIL. It occurred to DH and I the other day we never had anything for new baby either in way of somewhere to put clothes and nappies! Might look at freecycle.

Max good idea about doing the room now. We keep meaning to sort out our spare room, but putting it off.

Well, my sister is cooking us a roast today which should be nice! I need to do some work as well to send in to my line manager so everything stays on track whilst I'm signed off. Hope everyone else has a good Sunday.