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Share your unique birth stories and read heartwarming stories from fellow mums. For more on your baby’s development, check out the Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Good news and bad

231 replies

bubble99 · 22/02/2005 11:58

I am actually Bubble's husband but I'm posting this on her behalf as I know some of you have becomes friends with her during this pregnancy.

She went into hospital last week to have a standard induction. To cut a long and painful story short, some six hours later she was rushed into an emergency caesarian and two boys were delivered. Sadly, the second twin was still-born. We are very hurt and sad at the moment as there was nothing wrong with the health of the child. The, usually fantastic, medical staff made some bad decisions and it has cost our son's life.

The surviving twin has now come out of intensive care and is called Elijah, or Jah-Jah Binks to his brothers (8lb 1oz). The other twin is called Bo (7lb 7oz). The sizes give you some idea of why she went for induction.

She says she'll update you all when she comes out of hospital, hopefully by the end of the week.

One last thing: My views of medics have inevitably been altered by this experience. Alhtough we are blessed with some of the highest trained and conscientious medical staff you could hope to find, I would ask any of you to question them endlessly in the event of a complication during the pregnancy or birth. Find out EXACTLY what the problem is, what the possible courses of action or inaction are and why they have come to the decision they have made. They are the specialists but I feel now more than ever that as an intelligent lay person you should be at least able to know ALL the criteria they are basing their decisions on. We were given no warning, told that everything was just fine even though we now know that our babies should have been removed within the hour, not after six. Had the medical staff been more open about their thinking and decision-making process we could have two babies today instead of one. Put simply, annoy them senseless with questions and make sure their personal feelings are not affecting clinical decisions.

P.S. Thanks for all being such good friends to my wife (It keeps her of my back during the evening )

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
gingernut · 22/02/2005 23:52

Congratulations on the birth of your boys. Welcome to the world Elijah. So very sorry Bo didn't make it . I shall be thinking of you all.

Niddlynono · 22/02/2005 23:52

Welcome to the world Elijah. Sweet dreams Bo.

My thoughts are with you all.

ghosty · 23/02/2005 00:48

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Bubble on the birth of your two beautiful boys. I am so so sorry for your loss of Bo.
I don't know what else to say in case of it coming out wrong but I am thinking of you and your family and sending lots of hugs all the way from New Zealand.
Ghosty xxx

jabberwocky · 23/02/2005 01:30

My heart goes out to you both in this difficult time of joy and sorrow. I cannot even imagine what you must be going through.

nzmumzy · 23/02/2005 01:32

my thoughts are with you

pinkwhistle · 23/02/2005 06:39

Thinking of you, it just doesn't seem fair . But I know you will joy in Elijah.xxx

throckenholt · 23/02/2005 08:26

so sad

I haven't time to read the rest of the comments - but just wanted to point you to tamba - they have a bereavement counselling service.

You will always be parents of twins.

sassy · 23/02/2005 08:47

So sorry to hear about this tragic loss. Hope your lovely Elijah helps to heal you all.xx

sassy · 23/02/2005 08:48

So sorry to hear about this tragic loss. Hope your lovely Elijah helps to heal you all.xx

miam · 23/02/2005 09:00

It is so sad to have to send congratulations and sympathies to you all at the same time. Welcome to little Elijah (beautiful name). I hope you can find support to help you cope with the loss of little Bo. Hugs to you all. xxx

pinkdiamond · 23/02/2005 09:03

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joesy · 23/02/2005 09:04

Congratulations on the birth of your sons.
Deepest sympathy on the lost of your new arrival little Bo.

leander · 23/02/2005 09:12

congratulations on the birth of Elijah.
My heartfelt sympathy on the loss of Bo, I cant imagine what you are all going through.Thinking of you xxx

lunavix · 23/02/2005 10:55

This is one of the first MN that has brought tears to my eyes.

Love to all of you, especially little Bo, bless him.

mrsflowerpot · 23/02/2005 11:07

Congratulations on the birth of both your boys, I am so so sorry that little Bo was taken from you. Wishing you much joy from Elijah.

Mum2girls · 23/02/2005 11:13

Nothing more to add that others haven't already said...thinking of you all.

Bouj · 23/02/2005 11:32

Again, congratulations and my deepest sympathy. May your pain be eased by your joy. Your story has affected me, and many others.

PuffTheMagicDragon · 23/02/2005 11:33

I keep coming back to this thread to post and then I've gone away as I just don't know what to say.

Life can be so heartwrenchingly bittersweet.

Thinking of you all.

princesspeahead · 23/02/2005 11:54

Oh Bubbles and Mr Bubbles, I'm so so sorry to hear this. Much love to you and Elijah and prayers to Bo. xxxxx

trefusis · 23/02/2005 12:04

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starsailor · 23/02/2005 12:12

Congratulations on the birth of your two baby boys - Elijah you hold in your arms and Bo you hold in your hearts.

Thinking of you all. xx

sarahplus2 · 23/02/2005 12:24

i am just so so sorry for your loss.

colette · 23/02/2005 12:46

Congratulations on the birt of Elijah . I wish you both all the love and support you need. Look after yourselves.

mishi1977 · 23/02/2005 12:52

hope your angel is at peace
Hugs to you and your family and baby elijah

alibubbles · 23/02/2005 14:20

Beautiful, lovely names for lovely beautiful boys. So sorry to hear that Bo didn't make it.

Take care, with you all in my thoughts, hope bubble is soon on the mend too.

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