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Birth announcements

Share your unique birth stories and read heartwarming stories from fellow mums. For more on your baby’s development, check out the Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

would you call your child by your niece's middle name?

168 replies

amber5 · 29/03/2006 22:42

We were going to call our dd by a name which really suited her, but is my brother's dd's middle name. We're not particularly close and don't have the same friends, and we really didn't think it would matter.
After we'd called her this name for a week and really got used to it, my brother sent a text message to me asking us not to. We changed it to another name, but i'm not sure it suits her as much. I haven't seen or spoken to my brother since (dd is 9 weeks old)
What would you have done?

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GDG · 29/03/2006 22:45

I'd use it. Stuff em. How many people know a childs middle name anyway? Nobody would link it to your niece.

Norah · 29/03/2006 22:45

Would've done it anyway - none of his business ! Up to you what you call your child - specially when it it is only nieces middle name !!

teabags · 29/03/2006 22:47

I would use the name. It's not her first name,so I don't see why they have a problem with that. Personally, I would go so far as using the 1st names of my sis, niece, nephew , friends kids if it is what I really wanted. Go for it!

lockets · 29/03/2006 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

collision · 29/03/2006 22:48

Ooooh Amber....what is the name?

i would use it.

My brother has used Thomas as a middle name for my nephew and my other SIL likes it for a first name and I dont think there is anything wrong at all.

people dont have claims on names!

yomellamoHelly · 29/03/2006 22:57

My brother has given his ds our ds's middle name. Was a bit surprised to start with, but it is only his middle name and not something that will ever get mentioned apart from certificates and bank applications etc. so on reflection I don't mind at all. I can't say I particularly dwell on or even know the middle names of any of ds's friends so I don't believe anyone would ever know apart from your immediate family - so follow your instinct, a name is an important thing to get right.

GDG · 29/03/2006 23:03

God, I had so little inspiration that my own kids have middle name/first name overlaps

nulnulcat · 29/03/2006 23:11

dd middle name is my neices first name and another aunts first name no one said anything and 2 of my neices both have same middle name, we all laugh about it and joke we are either all really unoriginal when it comes to choosing names or we all have excellant taste!

yeamam · 29/03/2006 23:12

my bil is Thomas kevin. his brother is kevin thomas!! sorry bad typing, baby in arms

alexsmum · 29/03/2006 23:14

my son has my nephews name as his middle name- i told him it was after him and he was so happy!

LeahE · 29/03/2006 23:16

I'd have used it anyway, I think. The fact he sent you a text message about it really takes the biscuit, IMO...

SaintGeorge · 29/03/2006 23:33

Yes use it.

My DS has the male version of DN's middle name. If he had been a girl then he would have got the actual name.

JanH · 29/03/2006 23:36

Change it back to what you wanted in the first place, amber! Your brother has absolutely no right to tell you what you can call your DD.

lucykate · 29/03/2006 23:39

i would have used it anyway. i think it's really rude of your brother to ask you not to, particularly by sending a text message!. he should have considered it flattering that you both have similar taste in baby names.

Tommy · 29/03/2006 23:40

My DS1's middle name is the same as my nephew's name
TBH, we didn't even think about it - we gave him the name after DH's grandad so nothing to do with my nephew (who I love beyond measure but, sorry, didn't call my DS after!!)
I would call your baby what you want - your baby, your choice.

eidsvold · 30/03/2006 04:52

Dd1 was named the same first name as acquaintances' daughter - but we had chosen it and it suited her. Their middle names are different.

He should have been flattered and if that is what you wanted to call her then call her it - how petty of your brother!!

eidsvold · 30/03/2006 04:53

oops that should have been dd2 - never heard another child named the same as dd1. Have had a friend tell me she loves dd1's name so much that she might use it if she ever has a daughter.... I was flattered!

zippitippitoes · 30/03/2006 05:44

I agree, revert to your original choice. it doesn't matter at all.

By the way I'm another lacking in originality! Ds first name is the male version of his older sister middle name and I never noticed for years, until I started filling in forms. Also her first name initial is his middle name initial!

carla · 30/03/2006 06:54

Yes. Why on earth not, if you like the name?

HappyMumof2 · 30/03/2006 07:37

use the middle name, definately. They don't own the name,fgs. This would really p*ss me off!

throckenholt · 30/03/2006 07:41

I would use it. And explain to brother - you are going to use it, it is a free world, and it has no impact on your neice or him. And if he wants to talk about it kindly talk rather than text.

Tell him you genuinely feel it should make no differece to him or his family what you call your kids, and equally you have no right of veto on what he calls his.

My DS and nephew have names that are not exactly the same but have the same short version (different surnames, different parts of the country). It did cause upset for a while - but we are all grown ups and have come to terms with it (I think :)).

Uwila · 30/03/2006 08:24

I'd use it too. And what a cheek to send that in a text. Is the name something of significance (i.e. a family name). My mother and her sister both married men named Robert. They each ahd one son named him after his father. So I have a brother, cousin, father, and uncle named Robert... and my DS has Robert in his name as well (in honour of Dad/brother).

Go for it!

FrannyandZooey · 30/03/2006 08:31

I am not surprised to hear that they are upset, having heard lots of examples of this sort of thing (and I can sympathise with their feelings although not their behaviour), but think you should choose the name you want.

Agree that the fact they conveyed this by text puts the tin lid on it!

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 30/03/2006 08:40

agree with everyone else - he doesn't have an exlusive right to the name. Plus, if he had feelings about this that he expected you to take seriously then he should have spoken to you about them. TEXT? ffs. text him back.

EvesMama · 30/03/2006 08:42

i would have thought it more a compliment and not 'copying' seeing as though its her middle name.
YOU chose YOUR childrens names, NOT your brother, tell him to sod off..Via a text message

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