the safe and welcoming support thread for anyone affected by the loss of a child, a place to share, to shout, to cry and smile and to remember our beautiful stars and sunflowers

[crumpette]

This is a thread for anyone who has lost a child or been affected by the loss of a child no matter how big or small or how recent or long ago. We understand.

In memory of the light of my life, Lucia, and all of our little ones taken too soon. x

Thanks Hazy - having children born in 1985 doesn't make you old though! I was born in 1985 and my Mum would be most unimpressed if I implied she was old!

Thanks Shabs we do love him, so much. I sit at his grave talking to him just as though he was here

Caz. Thank you and please don't feel bad showing your photos of Belle, you're her mummy and proud of her. The hospital and midwives were great, they were just telling me the facts and what to expect; this was just too much for me at the time and I guess not what I'd prepared myself for x

mini.....you didnt let your son down, im so sorry and wish i could make it easier for you,big hugsxxx

Thank you Hazy x

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Thanks Sassy you were awfully brave reading the eulogy for Catherine, she would have been very proud of her mummy x

Just wanted to let you all know that my darling niece is bringing home her little girl, Beth, this evening. They have been in Intensive care for 7 weeks. Shelley (my niece) has had to go through a programme to teach her how to cope with her little girls tracheotomy (sp??) there have been days when Beth has almost left this Earth.

I am so proud of my niece - she is only 31 and has 3 other children. She used to say she wasn't very maternal and worried how she would cope.

I know that she isin't on MN but I just wanted to shout it from the rooftops 'I love you Shelley and Beth, Im so, so, so proud of both of you. I know your Dad (DH's eldest brother) is not 'here' anymore but he will be watching down from heaven and looking out for you. There will be a big party tonight - grandparents, parent, my boys, friends - they will be cheering so hard for you. I reckon if we listen carefully there is a good chance we will hear them.

Just sat her sobbing and thinking about my family xxxx

Oh Shabbs - that is such good news.

C'mere and gimmie a cwtch x

ta Cariad xxxx

That's great news Shabs x

Hello everyone.

Fantastic news Shabs

Hope everyones ok xx

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Morning girls xx

Morning folks x

Morning all xx

Hurrah for Beth ! You must be so pleased Shabs

Morning all... lovely news about your niece and baby Beth Shabs

DH is about to leave for work... I feel sick. (...Breathe...) Its not even been a month and things are being forced back to normal. Think I'm going to shower and go up my parents house, I just can't face being on my own.

Caz sending a big hug for your DH and an extra one for you. I must admit I hated the thought of getting back to 'normal.' I went back to work about a week after and then DH the week after me (had to for financial reasons) Once I got the first day over with it was the best thing I could have done - for me, personally I mean. I had to focus on other things. We are all very different and manage things differently - so it wouldn't do for everybody.

Will be thinking about you today xxxxx

Caz thinking of you and your DH today, DH went back to work 2,weeks ago and my mum stayed over for the first few days, going to your parents is probably a good idea. It is difficult but you will be okay and we are all here for you xxxx

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Ok so going to work didn't go very well for DH. He managed 2 and a half hours before being back at home - and over an hour of that includes having a long talk with his boss.

Said he got as far as his desk before bursting into tears infront of the entire office, spent the next hour or so being consoled and chatting to his boss about stuff and then tried to do a few little jobs and then decided it was time to come home. Luckily his boss is a very understanding lady and said a very short day was best for today and to try again tomorrow.

I'm so upset for him, my poor husband having to face it all, and having a meltdown infront of people. We're just not ready.

I personally feel that the more times we are 'allowed' to tell our story and cry.....and actually be listened to the more the recovery begins. Nobody will have thought bad of your DH - nobody - it takes a real man to cry (as my Nan always used to say) Just little steps for both of you....and his boss sounds wonderful. So many employers dont understand. xxx

Caz Big hugs to you and your DH, I'm glad his boss is understanding. Be kind to yourselves and luck after each other x

caz so sorry your husband had a bad time at work, it is probably too soon for him. Like Shabs says going back to work is different for us all, there is no set rule for it. For me it has been a lifeline, a time when I have to focus on something else. hope you both wait until you are ready.

shabs so pleased that your Beth has come home

sassy I haven't phoned the helpline, which one do you ring. I'm not sure how I feel about talking to strangers on the phone. I am going to wait a few weeks more and maybe try Cruse.

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