the safe and welcoming support thread for anyone affected by the loss of a child, a place to share, to shout, to cry and smile and to remember our beautiful stars and sunflowers

[crumpette]

This is a thread for anyone who has lost a child or been affected by the loss of a child no matter how big or small or how recent or long ago. We understand.

In memory of the light of my life, Lucia, and all of our little ones taken too soon. x

People are only trying to help.. and possibly grasping at straws. But the situation merits it.

I understand that Mamsnet - but I dont know any more than you do - we have all given our time, friendship, support and masses of advice to the poster in question...Im not sure what else we can do. Im not trying to be nasty or unhelpful - Im really not - if you 'knew' me on MN you would know that is not my personality.

Im going to shut my mouth now - because as I mentioned before this is the only place we can come together to deal with the death of our children. For me, it is a sanctuary, and I dont want to spoil it.

If I learn of anything that will help I will pass it on.

I think you might have misinterpreted me, Shabba. My comment was wrt to the fact that the person in question had been named in a post above. Thankfully that post has now been removed.

I have no doubt that you have all done your best in many ways and long before this. I hope maybe she might get back in contact with somebody on her that she "knows" and trusts.

FWIW Just coming on here has reduced me to tears. You are all in my thoughts.

I am really pissed off about my post being removed. Any other thread and I wouldn't be bothered, but having it done here has got me really annoyed.

Probably because it's so very obvious who we are talking about, and also because my message included text to other people.

Ah well, such is life I guess.

Ilike xx

How you doing ?

iliketomoveitmoveit big hugs to youxxxxx and all you lovely ladiesxx

I agree with you my darling....this is not just a thread it is where we, as a small group, believe we belong. We are not here to bitch or say 'AIBU' we are here because our beloved children aren't.

I also think that the OP on the other thread made it so clear who it was - even with her namechange - it was hardly Inspector Morse for us to figure out exactly who it was.

Reckon we need to carry on now like we always do - smiling together, honouring our children, helping each other and just, generally, being the best of friends xxxx

Thats why I had a small wobble earlier on with my post - I couldn't just leave it.

RIGHT GIRLS....ONWARDS AND UPWARDS

Hear hear shabs xx

for you ILike xx

I'm ok thanks lady, annoyed rather than upset

Onwards and upwards indeed

Glad you are ok Ilike (((((((()))))))))

Onwards and upwards indeed

Thankfully I am no longer being covered in sick , a glass of wine is in order me thinks .

Cheers TW Back on diet and just over a stone down . head in the zone i think/hope.... long way to go but heh it's gotta be done and i've been putting it off long enough.

Sassy - how's today been? been thinking about you today x

Can't remember if i mentioned last week but DH had a scan following op a few weeks ago and looks like op has been successful - will know more in another few weeks but so far so good !!

Glad to hear ds is better TW, that is one of the things I asked in my deleted post.

Great news about dh and the weight loss PPM. I'm losing weight at the moment, it's really boring isn't it?!

Cheers ILike - yeah boring just about covers it! I've been really overweight since my early twenties and the year before Gregor died I had managed to lose almost seven stone and then more importantly had managed to maintain it up to a month or so after he died - but now i've piled it all back on again from my comfort eating and wine/vodka bottle hugging over the last year No regrets - i've done what i had to do to get through the shittiest year of my life so far but i'm now trying so desparately hard to pick up the threads of my life and get on with wanting to live.

Well, it was sometime in the next few hours that our beutiful second daughter Niamh died in the womb at full term a year ago - we didn't know this until she was deliverd at 4:12 am the next morning.

Only you ladies will know how tough this last year has just been and how today I feel like I am going to have to go through the whole lot of it all over again.

Right now I can't separate how I feel from post-partum hormones and the fatigue of having a 4 week old baby, its as if the initial numbness of it all has come back.

How on earth did we ever find ourselves here?

woolyjo , I am thinking of you xx

The reliving those final hours and days is so painful .

A candle is lit here xxx

Oh Woollyjo I am thinking about you tonight and will be tomorrow. Its my darling Mattys 26th birthday tomorrow as well.

I am going to light my candle tonight for you Woollyjo and I will light it tomorrow for our children....not just mine and Woolly's but for all our precious little 'uns (older children as well - they stay our little 'uns forever - dont they?)

Its been a strange week and its only Tuesday!!

Oh Wolly - huge huge hugs sweetheart x

I'll be lighting candles here in Welshy Wales too...

Candles will be lit here in Cape Town too Whoollyjo and shabba x

Nina - thank you sweetheart. Between us all lighting our candles we dont half cover some miles dont we? Our precious children will be so happy we have all found each other. xxxx

Message deleted

Thinking of you WoollyJo xx

Well, this time 26 years ago I was in strong labour - Matty born around 1am. I was so petrified. The twins (Danny and Gareth) had been born just 2 and a half years earlier....their delivery was very high tech and the opposite of what I wanted.

I managed to have a totally normal delivery with Matty - only used the gas and air for the last 20 minutes. He brought the sunshine back into our lives, and made life worth living again.... miss you Matty.

Woollyjo - we have a bond dont we? Both waiting for babies today. Im so very sorry things went so wrong for you....Im struggling to find words. Our babies should share a birthday....well, YES, our precious babies DO share a birthday.

Good night my dear friends. Holding you all close xxxxx

Good night shabba x

Morning girls xx

Lighting my candle for Matt, Niamh and all our precious children.

xxxx