The hugely supportive thread in memory of all our twinkling little stars, bobbing sunflowers and dancing butterflies supporting those bereaved by the loss of a child

[peterpansmum]

In memory of our gorgeous Gregor

Morning girls xx

Morning all x

crumpette , I have written and deleted about 7 times , I just don't have the words to comment on your "family" without ranting and I know that won't do you any good . I do think that the time has come for you to think about yourself for now . Get rid of the unnecessary rubbish in your life and be kind to yourself xx.

morning girls,hope everyone ok,the sun has gone and its raining, such a lot going on at the moment,i need to scream,rant but cant at moment.
dh had tests on heart last week,ecg came back abnormal,so to go in a week on saturday for procedure.
k
new granddaughter is doing brill,she smiles away, but full of coldx
ppm im gonna try realy hard to lose weight,dh has been warned aint got long without complete lifestyle change,he dont drink or smoke, but little excercise and bad diet, i need to get rid of sweet tooth,any tips be greatxxx

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sorry tw yes I knew it was viral, hope I haven't upset anyone I was just so miserable after that yesterday, was typing a bit fast, what I meant was that these things do happen- viruses kill, and they don't seem to believe it!! I can't even articulate how destructive and horrid they all are!

Sassysusan, yes, I suppose the people who have never encountered it are the lucky ones. And I suppose it really is so rare, I have never really heard of a virus doing that to a healthy child, but a lot of people here have sadly experienced similar events- all caused by a virus that you cannot even see that many children would just brush off but for whatever reason affected our precious little ones worse than others. I can understand they would be surprised, but I cannot comprehend how they can be that hurtful, deliberately!

ARGH! sorry for ranting, I just know you lovely lot understand!

they even said that as far as they are concerned, DS does not exist and does not matter

crumpette crosses off 90% of family from christmas card list with a satisfied grin

I am actually seeing a friend this weekend, I haven't really been in touch with any friends for a long long time but she's coming to LOndon to see the baby- has just finished her medical degree, was lovely when all that stuff was happening with L, so I'm looking forward to seeing someone nice and sane and supportive even if I only see her once a year. I suppose these kind of events make you realise who matters in life and , for me anyway, it has become very clear that most family and friends of mine are not worthy of the label family or friend. There are a couple, though, who are there still and I really should make an effort. So many people have just snubbed me totally when they heard what happened with L, it's really horrible. Argh I'm rambling again, sorry. I was just in waterstones hiding from the rain and a lady in the coffee queue started talking about DS asking how old he is and she said she's on her way to visit her granddaughter ... who is called Lucia..... and who has just turned 2 I bit my tongue but ouch, it really hurt- she went on to describe her at nursery and her little uniform and everything and called her 'angel Lucia' and I nearly ran away crying!! Of course I didn't. I also got hounded by 4 GOSH fundraisers on the street, and I mean hounded, they wouldn't let me walk past even though I said no and tried to walk ahead- I nearly yelled at them that my child was dead and had her PM there (!) but thought that may be inappropriate and would ruin their day. I know they're doing a good job good cause blabla but it really makes me feel like the world is caving in sometimes. Strange day.

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I didn't use any homeopathy remedies Sassy, but I am very open to it. It has helped ds get rid of the bloody impetigo that kept coming back.

I have seen a birth announcement for Woollyjo A little girl called Seren. Lovely news eh ladies?

I've been thinking about Che and Dee a lot recently. I hope they're ok and that their little ones are thriving.

Good morning girls xx

Morning all

Congratulations Woollyjo

Fab news , welcome to the world Seren

Congratulations Woolly - lovely name xxxxx

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Morning everyone... Fab news for Woollyjo - congratulations xx

Sassy - my view is because all the twunts have feck all else to say to you as they don't want to upset you (WTF? like you'll ever be any more upset than you are now!) or don't know what to say to you so they wander onto some 'safe' territory like talking about work or bloody weather!! Do what you feel is right for you - if you need/want to go back to work then fair enough but i think you said you had an understanding employer and if you need to take more time then take as much time as you need. Loads of folk asked me that as well and I remember telling my mum to but out as she started along the lines of 'if it was me i would...' which i cut short pretty damn quick am afraid to say.

Am feeling really crabbit/grumpy/worried/screwed up/sorry for myself this morning - Got to take DH to hosp tomorrow (thankfully a diffent hosp than where we went with gregor) for minor op on friday and thought it wasn't affecting me too much but I've been in floods of tears this morning - started talking to dh about what he'd do if i die/what i'd do if he dies/what we would want for DS1 if we both die..... not good headspace today The thought of taking him to hosp and leaving him there is messing with my head and i totally know i've got it out of all proportion but can't help it!!

How's everyone else doing? xx

morning all.
I had so much trouble getting to sleep again last night was similar to immediately after my db was killed. Got really upset about it all last night and couldn't sleep. Cried myself to sleep in the end. I could see him so clearly in the mortuary and then in his coffin, even with my eyes open it was as though i was there with him again. I woke up this morning thinking it was a nightmare and tried to phone him. Think im losing it.

Im sure you DH will be fine PPM. I know the worry of going to hospital with a loved one. I've bene like that when my db and dad have been in this year unexpectedly. What makes it worse is usually end up walking past the bereavement office.

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The flash backs are horrible shelley, I hope you get a better nights sleep tonight.

I think it's quite normal to feel the way you do about dh and the hospital. Just walking through the front doors of any hospital makes my heart race and I feel sick.

Good luck for your dh tomorrow. All will be fine xxx

Thanks Shelley, Sassy and ILike. I'll prob be fine tomorrow once tomorrow comes! He's only getting admitted tomorrow and then op is sometime Friday. Hospitals have the same effect on me Ilike - anxiety and nausea anytime i get anywhere near them... I cannot imagine ever having to go back to A&E - I think I'd completely lose the plot! Sassy - loads of good advice there thank you and i had thought about taking someone with me but decided against it as i don't want to be restricted for getting back home for a specific time. I totally understand your need to check the house as my DH still checks DS1 frequently even now while he's asleep. I've been putting a good face on today for DS1 as he's obviously got his own anxieties from his dad staying in hospital but while he's been at school the tears have been flowing.

Shabs - how are you doing? ... you worry me when you're quiet!!

Sorry to totally change the subject but our beautiful barman from Faliraki, Greece just left a message on my wall on Facebook...... he looked at my profile picture of Tom and Lew and commented on it.....get this!!! he loves and misses all of us..... read it properly this time - first time I thought he put that the loved and missed me...... he is 26, 6ft 6inches with size 15 feet.....

As you were my dear friends...as you were!!!! ROFL

Sorry I worried you PPM - got loads of financial crap on my mind...plus all the other 1,000,000 worries......we cant afford to go on holiday BUT we are going.....hate struggling. My precious granbaby is 2 next week - not sure where that time has gone xxx

Thanks. I had to get it down somewhere and knew you would understand.

Not bad shabs not bad s

Morning girls xx

@ Shelley - you had a little spy on Nikos? He is a lovely bloke.

Good morning all xx

Good luck for today ppm , hospitals bring out the worst in me too .

All will be well , all will be well xx

Good luck PPM - at the thought of hospitals.....keeping everything crossed for you here.

We are off to the chiropodist with Tom today. He had part of his toenail removed when he was about 9 because he has a problem with ingrowing toenails - now the other big toe is the same. He wants the same quick operation on that toe as well Ouch!!! Both myself and my H are the same and we were told it is hereditry!