Nancy, 2Shoes, Squonk, Sidge etc: Can you move over here please?

[LilRedWG]

The bloody site just deleted another huge message I'd typed on the thread so can we start this new one please so that I'm allowed on?

I'm not retyping as it made me cry the first time around, surfice to say that you are all in my thoughts. xxx

Thank you ladies.

mumoverseas I'm so sorry

My granny died this morning.

Happy new year my fat arse.

Oh Mos, no...

Sidge I'm so sorry...what a start.

Thanks Five - we knew she wouldn't live long as she was poorly but didn't expect it today.

Oh well, things can only get better, right? Got to look onward and upward.

You have my sympathies; it really is horrible at any time of the year, but to start the year off with a close death is such a smack in the face.

Oh Sidge

What a horrible start to the new year.

I lost mum christmas eve, great aunt boxing day and an uncle new years day (not days apart tho) It's the worse time of the year (then again when is a good time ).

My thoughts are with you and yours.

I hope the rest of the year is a good one for everyone here.

MOS -

Hope you are able to sort things out between you.

sidge, I'm so very sorry for your loss x

Not heard from the arse. Just checked upstairs and his suitcase appears to be missing and most of his clothes. Not sure where he is or whether he has buggered off back to the Middle East early. We were supposed to be going back together next Friday. Wonder if its a coincidence that he has fucked off less than 2 weeks after I gave him £2,000 of my mum's money?
Worst part is, I keep wanting to pick up the phone and call mum

Oh Mos...damned men.

What do you want to do? do you want him to come back? apologise? make it ok again or do you want him to stay gone? I suppose you haven't had enough time to digest all of this yet really.

( sorry to intrude on such a very personal thread, but just want to see you are ok MOS? you know i am not far away from you hun, if you fancy a coffee/cry/shout or ay practical help, PLEASE txt me sweetie xx)

so sorry for all of your losses on this thread ladies, have a peaceful new year

Oh mumoverseas - wot a twat....how u doing? Have you managed to talk to him yet? Do you want to? Try and take some time to think....it's not great timing as you have other things on your mind but don't take on too much. It's times like this when only 'Mum' will do so please seek out the next best thing, do you have RL friends nearby for support....we're here for you too.

Sidge - sorry for your loss.

hello all, thanks so much for your kind words.
Not sure what I want other than to ring his fucking neck for what he has done to the kids. DD (3 years) hasn't a clue what is going on and keeps asking where he is. Poor DS is only 10 months so doesn't understand.
Not heard from him since he left at around 8am.
No friends here, they are all back in the Middle East and its looking like I'm not going back there as I'm not allowed without his permission (as of course I'm a mere female) and he appears to have taken mine and the kids tickets.
Feeling very odd and trying to 'carry on as normal' for the sake of the kids. Not sure where he is, wonder if he has run off home to his mum. Won't phone though although I've been tempted. Won't give him the satisfaction.

Mos - I am going to text you, feel free to ignore it tho. You have me in RL,tho i know we have only met couple times. can i help at all? do yo have the older two children with you?

thanks MABS, have texted you. Have all 4 DC here and DC1 and 2 have finally realised what has happened and are being helpful. DS1 has cooked dinner and I've told him to help himself to DH's favourite beer
Just need to get through the next few days and get DS1 back to school and see what happens. I will survive
DH really is a fuckwit. You just DON'T mess with a divorce lawyer

Please can I join in here? Some of you know me already.....

Lost my beloved Dad in April and am feeling so low at the moment. Am sick to death of people asking me if I had a nice new year. NO I FUCKING DID NOT. How can I look forward to a year my lovely dad will never see?

I feel so miserable I ahve ruined New Year for dh and ds. Dh and I are arguing constantly. He feels I am difficult to live with I feel he is not being kind enough to me at a time I need it most.

My Mum is really low right now, I ahve no siblings and sometimes the pressure of making sure she is OK is to much to bear. She never calls me anymore to see if I am OK....

I fel so tired and drained and I am not even doing anything. Can't shake this feeling of misery and no one likes being around a miserable cow do they?

Sidge - sorry about your dear old Granny. And MOS - sorry about your dh, asif you don't have enough to deal with hey?

xx

Hi DrNortherner. We've 'talked' before. So sorry you are in the same shitty club as us.
I know exactly what you mean about all this happy christmas and happy new year crap. Some people just don't think.
Even 'D'H was bloody insensitive after mum died. The night she died he couldn't understand why I was still crying and a week later said I should be over it by now.

I'm so sorry it sounds like you are going through exactly the same as DH and I. I assume your DH still has both his parents? That is what I think has caused our problems. He had no idea how I felt. I'd lost dad then mum and was being told to pull myself together. I'm sorry but no matter how much people say they understand how we feel they just don't if they haven't been there. I hope you manage to sort things out with your DH. Too late for me I think. I warned him this morning that if he left that was it, no going back.

I'm sure you've not ruined things for your DS. How old is he?
Have you thought about counselling? I know I probably need it but couldn't get it in the Middle East. Now it looks like I'm staying in the UK will try to find somewhere local for some counselling. Wish DH would have considered us doing it together in the summer when I suggested it.

Feel so sad for my DD (DS too young to understand) DD is crying for him now and I don't know what to say.

Is your mum local to you DrN? Maybe you should talk to her about how you feel?
I hope you are ok and can sort things with your DH x

Mumoverseas - just want to say how sorry I am that you have this to cope with on top of losing your mum (when I lost mine ) but you sound like you will cope

My Mum is about an hours and twenty mins drive from me, although she doesn't drive, so it's down to me to go to here. Neraly a 3 hour round trip each time.

I haven't called her today. She has always been a very needy person and tbh sometimes it is very suffocating. She will be upset and furious i have not called her on NYD but tbh I feel I need all my energy to get through today, I have none to give her. My Dad was the one who made sure I was OK, he was my support and together Dad and I supported mum.

My Mum is the type if I cry about my Dad in front of her she starts crying louder and harder than me and I end up consoling her.

Life is shit sometimes, normally I can pull myself out of this but today I am wallowing. It is snowing here, and I can't help but think that right now I would love one last snowy walk, arm in arm with my Dad. I miss him so much.

DrN, your Mum sounds a bit like mine. She's lovely, but no one hurts more than she does... I tried to say that Dad has been in my entire life and that I've known him for almost as long as she did, just in a different way.

How funny, I have the opposite, as this is how my Dad is.....I know he's hurting but I find it such a drain and do find myself looking for excuses not to call him (he's over an hr and half away).
My relationship was really with Mum too - I love my Dad but I don't like him very much some days our relationship has had many up's and down's and was very straine a few years back.
mumoverseas - thinking of you.

Morning all. Well I woke up with a different attitude today. I reailsed if my Dad were here he would give me a kick up the arse and remind me that life is for the living as you are a long time dead.

I was in bed from 8pm last night and at one point 7 yr old ds came in to see me and asked me if I was sad because of Grandad, then he said to me 'You've got to stop being sad Mum, you are sad all the time and Grandad was never sad'

This was kind of my wake up call. Yesterday I felt so low about 2010 - my Dad is dead and I hate my job, but now I realise it is down to me to cahnge the things I don't like.

Wishing you all peace and strength xxx

Good on you DrN, I should take a leaf from your book!

Sorry to hear about your Granny Sidge. x

Oh ladies, I go away for a couple of days and such sad things happen.

I'm so sorry about your granny Sidge. Please take care of yourself.

And MOS I really don't know what to say about your H. You are so right though - what a fool to cross a divorce lawyer . Email me if you need a chat.

DrN - your son is wise, I think I will take his advice too.

Everyone else, I agree that it is not Happy new year but am trying not to jump down people's throat when they say it, even people who should know better.

Hi LilRed hope you had a nice time in Bristol and the TTC went well

Agree about your son DrN and I will also try to remind myself of that advice. My mum would have been so upset about recent events.

I found out this morning (3am!) that DH flew back to the Middle East on NYD, the day he left. Nothing like being hasty. I just had this feeling and just had to know so phoned our house there at 3am (6am there) and he answered. Was somewhat taken aback and although I'd meant to hang up if he answered I couldn't help myself and came out with some rather sarcastic comments. We've talked a few times today and bless him, he had an awful flight back, with a little girl DDs age sitting next to him that made him cry as he missed our DD twunt! He then apparently had a long delay which resulted in a lonely 15 hours in Dubai airport. My icy heart breaks for him. Of course I've been having a fabulous time since New Years day! Anyway, we've talked which is important and will talk again tomorrow.
Thank you so much everyone for all your kind words and support. Don't know what I'd do without you all x