Nancy, 2Shoes, Squonk, Sidge etc: Can you move over here please?

[LilRedWG]

The bloody site just deleted another huge message I'd typed on the thread so can we start this new one please so that I'm allowed on?

I'm not retyping as it made me cry the first time around, surfice to say that you are all in my thoughts. xxx

Thank you ladies.

sorry for this post, but there is so much anti religion stuff on mn I only feel safe putting here.

the day I found out my dad had an inoperable brain tumor was so horrid, I sat at the hospital with him for ages.
but the time came when I had to go, but how could I leave him?

I looked around the ward and then saw a man ion black, and there was father Steve, my Dads priest(C OF E) I have never been so glad to see someone in my whole life.
I very nearly hugged him

Huge hugs for you 2shoes. Much love. xxxxxx

hello all,
LilRed and 2shoes hugs for you both for your week of anniversarys. Its not easy is it.

DD2 is loving 'big' school. She has done 2 days now and absolutely loves it.
My little man (19 months)started nursery today. His little friend (my friend's DS) started today as well and they seemed to have a nice time). Just a bit worried when I got him undressed for his bath and found a bite mark on his back

Hope everyone is doing ok xxx

mumoverseas glad to see you are still posting, I have missed seeing you arround xx

Lovely ladies....hope everyone's as good as can be. Where does the time go? Sorry its been a while...DS2 is now 4mths and a joy but keeping me busy! I totally feel the same re:seeing my mil with him...it's very hard to watch and sad that he won't ever meet my Mum. I feel very protective and feel angry when mil does something with DCs that I know Mum isn't able to We'll be visiting the cemetery in a few weeks as it's Mum's bday and I'd like to take DS2 so's they 'meet' officially....is that odd?!

2shoes - hope you got through your Dad's bday ok.

MOS & LilRed - my DS1 started school too and seems to be enjoying it - its been tough to experience another milestone and not be able to share with mum. She'd be so proud of him! Lots to get my head around and have to make a fancy dress costume to celebrate book week! Hope yours are enjoying school too!
MOS did you get to the bottom of the bite mark? And is everything final now with buying your Mum's house?

LilRed - hope you got through your mum & dad's anniversary and your mum's bday ok. Hope the pregnancy is going well & you're feeling good!

Longwalk - I also found this thread after it was established but the ladies here were/are very welcoming and so supportive.

Sidge - what a lovely idea for your Dad's ashes. I too am sad that you can't be there but hope you take some comfort in knowing that you were able to discuss his wishes and now play a part in making sure they are honored.

Thinking of you all xx

Really missing Mum at the mo - posting the other day made me realise just how much. With school stuff and the baby, I've been doing lots of 'mum' things (specifically with getting DS1 ready for school and the baby has mastered rolling & is starting to sit etc) so things/milestones I would have loved to have shared (situations which I understand better now that I'm a 'mum' too....you know?) I talk to her in my head still and can imagine what she say back but what I'd love most is a knowing hug or to hear her laugh in agreement!! If only.....

Oh Harib, you can have a (((hug))) from me but I know exactly what you mean. It is just not the same not having a hug from your Mum. :( Keep going sweetheart. x

20 months today since Dad died. I miss him so much and am so scared that if I go for a VBAC the baby will either be born early, on the second anniversary of Dad's death, or late, on the second anniversary of Mum's death. Another reason for a CS I guess.

hello ladies,
haribo so very sorry to read that you are struggling so much. If its any consolation I totally understand how you feel. I felt very sad last week wen it was DD's 4th birthday as DH's parents didn't even bother sending her a card or present. It is so hurtful that they don't give a damm about her or DS. My parents would have walked over broken glass just to have seen them. Chin up sweetie, I can still 'hear' my mum sometimes.

Never found out who bit DS but have a good idea but thankfully nothing has happened since

LilRed hugs to you, its not easy is it? I suppose if you want to avoid those dates a CS is a good idea but will they do that for you? Don't you need a medical reason? Hope you are doing ok with your pg and hope you manage to make the right decision. We had a choice of dates when DS born (2 years in February) Mum's birthday was valentines day (14th) and we nearly went for that day but went for 8th instead and now I do wish I'd gone for her birthday but would that have been a bitter sweet reminder?

xxx

Hi MOS - I do have a medical reason (severe SPD and previous CS) and everyone seems to be presuming I'm having another section, but I'm not sure.

The baby is due on your Mum's birthday. :)

LilRed, lovely day for a birthday, think how popular everyone will think the baby is in years to come when (s)he gets LOADS of cards on Valentines day

Poor you with the SPD. I had it badly from around week 20 with my last two pregnancies and really feel for you. Had to have CS 3 weeks early due to that and back problems.
Hope you are hanging in ok x

MOS - DD was evicted at 38 weeks for the same reason and there is no way this one is staying the full forty. I've had my crutches since 14 weeks this time (sigh) and am pretty much on permanent rest. Went to the shops with DH and DD last weekend and it crippled me. More than anything I am BORED!

Thanks LilRed and MOS I needed that....it's not the same as a hug from my Mum but it's much appreciated all the same.

MOS - that's outrageous how your DH's parents didn't celebrate your DD's birthday. Some people just don't get it do they? I'm sure you made up for it though and your DD had a fab day.

LilRed - what a decision....I'm not sure what I'd do in your shoes as I can see the positives/negatives for both. Poor you with crappy SPD....does anything ease it? Luckily I didn't suffer but I did get achy hips/back and that was bad enough so I really feel for you.

hello all
hope you are all coping
Just had 2 day break down where Dad lived, was really good stayed at a very nice guest house and had a nice time with dh, db and SIl(no kids:o)
we went and saw dads best friend and his wife, it was so nice to see ray as he was such a help to me and DB.
we went to the "grave" as we drove in, felt a bit sad but to me he isn't there but lives on in ds and dd,.
we also went to Chichester, so I went in the Cathedral and lit candles for dad, SM and FIL(also dd's teacher who died this week) he would have like d that.
(oh and Ate and Drank loads :o)

Sounds wonderful 2shoes! I'm so glad that it was a happy break for you. Hope DD is okay. xx

Hello everyone, how are you all?

2shoes I'm glad you had a nice break, time without the kids, what a bonus!

LilRed sorry to hear you have SPD, I had that and it's awful - let's hope the next few months are stable and go quickly for you.

MOS hope all is well with you in KSA.

Haribo 4 months already! How did that happen??

All is well here - DH is home now, and is drafted to a local shore base so no more going away to sea for 18-24 months! My girls are fine, DD2's needs are becoming more apparent in lots of ways so life has it's moments but on the whole we are doing fine.

Oh and I passed my professional diploma with distinction - wahey!! Start the next one in 3 weeks though, groan... Missing Dad lots, he would have been chuffed about my diploma.

Way to go Sidge....well done, not only to pass but to do it with a distinction whoo whoo!! Your Dad would be so proud

2shoes - your break sounds bliss!

LilRed - poo to SPD...hope you can rest up as much as poss to ease it a bit.

Have had a couple of difficult weeks - first it was Mum's birthday and then I got a call from my brother saying that the headstone is complete....really not sure how I feel about that. He sent me a picture and it looks lovely but I feel numb about it I now can't stop looking at the picture of the grave which I should probably delete off my phone! On a brighter note, DS2 is keeping me on my toes and I'm enjoying my maternity leave while I can so am desperately trying to focus on the positive.

hello all, just checking in from the Sunny USA as opposed to sandy KSA.

sidge well done, that is fabulous news about your diploma, like Haribo says, your dad would be so proud. Fab news too about your DH being back, I don't know how you do it being a navy wife (I assume?) must be so hard. I struggle for 6 weeks in the summer without DH.

2shoes glad you had a nice weekend and a childless one too, roll on one of those for me.

LilRed hope you are doing ok and SPD isn't driving you too mad, I remember how awful and frustrating it was.

Haribo glad you are enjoying your time with your little man. Sorry about your feelings about your mum's grave. I'm still having 'issues' sorting my mum's grave.
Neither of my brothers visit it (I assume as the few times I've been when I'm in the UK there has been no sign of any other flowers left) I went just over 2 weeks ago on my way out to the USA as it was the anniversary of dad's death and put flowers down and definitely nothing had changed since I'd gone early September. Anyway, it was agreed in July that neither of my brothers wanted to 'do' the headstone so I would go ahead and do it. I went several times to the local FD which was very emotional and painful for me. I got quotes and emailed to one brother to forward to the other (and had checked with him about the wording as will never speak to the other brother again after the way he behaved at mum's funeral) Anyway, all agreed on wording etc, just needed to choose and order stone. To my shock I got a very nasty spiteful email from my (nasty) brother saying I was trying to rip him/them off as the quote was way higher than one he had got and I was either stupid or trying to rip him off /.
There followed around 2 or 3 really nasty spiteful emails (he saying he should have smothered me when I was a baby and put it down to cot death etc etc) and essentially saying that HE is going to deal with the headstone and I'm not doing it.

DH and I have blocked him now and not read the last mail he sent and I've tried to ignore it so it didn't spoil our last big family holiday but now I need to think about it. We are back to the UK in 10 days and will be there just 2 days during which time I could go and sort the gravestone and order it. I have checked with the lovely FD I've been talking to and having already set the ball rolling ref council paperwork back in August she has confirmed that I am now the owner of the grave so the only person that can do it so if my brother applies to place a gravestone his application will be refused. In one of his ranty mails he said he was sorting and would drive down to a stonemason someone had recommended and sort it but not sure if he has done that already but presumably before they would take his order they would have to check with the council?

sorry for long rant, have been trying to pretend this hasn't been happening but know if I'm going to sort the gravestone I have to make a decison now and make an appointment to see FD in just over a week or it won't be happening til next summer

sorry again for my ramblings, hope everyone is ok x

I feel bad that I rarely post on this thread,
I would love to say that I have moved on and am over my dad, but that would be a lie.
TBH I just don't want to bring people down when they are coping iynwim.
MOS glad to see you on hear and hope you are over all the mn crap, when will you be back over again?

Hi all - 2shoes, get your arse back on here and whinge. God knows I need to but I refuse to unless you do.

Love to you all - it's lovely to 'see' you all around again. xxxx

hello all, hope everyone is coping as best they can.
Am here to whinge
I can't decide what to do about mum and dad's gravestone. Managed to put off thinking about it the past few weeks but am flying back to the UK tomorrow night and will only have Monday and Tuesday to go to FD's and order it if I'm going to do it. Part of me really wants to get it done myself, so I know it has been done and can finally get some closure but part of me just wants to keep out of it and avoid further nastiness with my brother (who had thrown a tantrum and said HE was doing it) However, part of me thinks that he just won't do it and it will never get done.
Any suggestions wonderful people?

Invite brother to go with you at a set time. It's his choice if he turns up or not. I think you need to get it done for your own peace of mind. x

sadly that is not an option. Because of what has been going on and the way he behaved at mum's funeral we will not be having any future contact and he lives approx 350 miles away from where grave is and where FD is so that is not an option. I feel I need to do it but just can't cope with all the screaming and swearing and accusations (from him - he accused me of being on the fiddle as apparently my quote for gravestone was more than he thought it should be!)

Hope all ok with you?

You need to do this for you, so do it and let your other brother and DH deal with the fallout.

I hope you hav a good flight. xx

have a lookie here
you don't have to move over here.
but I hope I have explained in my OP why I started a new thread.