Nancy, 2Shoes, Squonk, Sidge etc: Can you move over here please?

[LilRedWG]

The bloody site just deleted another huge message I'd typed on the thread so can we start this new one please so that I'm allowed on?

I'm not retyping as it made me cry the first time around, surfice to say that you are all in my thoughts. xxx

Thank you ladies.

Bristol was lovely MOS, but no TTC as DD took ages to go to sleep both evenings and I have a stinking cold so went to bed to snore quite early leaving DH reading his book with a bottle of wine.

I'm glad that you have spoken to H and that he had a horrible trip back.

LilRed don't you just love toddler contraception
We had DD sleeping in our room until she was 2. Makes me wonder how we managed to conceive DS

How're things today MOS?

Hi LilRed I'm ok today thanks. Friends of DH's who are DS's godparents came today and were lovely. They've known him 20+ years and think he is being a twat. The husband phoned him yesterday and was shocked he had returned to the middle east and gave him a piece of his mind. You don't play silly buggers like that when you have young children. Not sure exactly what was said but DH phoned later yesterday afternoon and his attitude had completely changed.
He has phoned today and is apparently returning to the UK overnight tonight, back here tomorrow am
Not really sure how I feel about it/him. I can't have him playing stupid games like this, it is like having 5 children. I guess when I see him I'll have a better idea how I feel about him

On a plus side, am going up to London tonight for a MN meet up with some lovely ladies from my ante/post natal thread. DD1 is going to babysit and I'm really looking forward to it.

Sidge how are you? When is the funeral? Hope you are ok x

Have a lovely time tonight MOS and good luck tomorrow. I think that your H has some serious spade work to do if he is to regain your children's trust and yours.

Glad you had a good time in Bristol LilRed...despite no TTC!

mumoverseas - glad you've spoken with DH too...sounds positive that he's changed his attitude but I agree that he can't play these silly games - you definitely need to talk about his behaviour and how irresponsible it was to just up and leave (IMO). Did you mention having some counselling? I haven't had any bereavement counselling but I have thought about it...at first, I also forgot how it was affecting DH too...tho he sometimes still 'forgets' or thinks that I should really be over it by now?! I have had to tell him that I might never 'be over it'. Hope you have a fab evening...v jealous!

Sidge - hope things are as good as they can be.

thank you ladies, I can't believe how excited I am to be going out tonight, can't remember the last time I had a night out.

haribo, sadly I don't think we ever really get over it. What doesn't help is being married to someone who has both their parents so they have absolutely no idea how awful it is.
I met a lovely lady on Christmas day when we went to an organised lunch on our compound where we live in Saudi. Never met her before but when we all started toasting I raised a glass to missing loved ones, and explained I'd recently lost mum and had lost dad years ago. She welled up too and said she'd lost her mum and dad when she was in her very early 20's. She is in her 40's now. She said it had got easier but she will never be over it. It was so nice to be able to talk to someone else who understood. It turned out we have birthdays weeks apart and have arranged to meet up in a few weeks when everyone is back in Saudi (assuming I go back!)

I think I want to go for counselling. Ironically I am midway through a distance learning counselling course I started last September and I think attending a few sessions would be beneficial. I did suggest to DH that we should maybe go but of course being a man, he 'doesn't have a problem', it is me

LilRed you are so right about the trust, I've always thought that was one of the most important aspects of a relationship.
Was slightly confused when DH phoned a few hours ago and kept calling me sweetheart. How can they be so changeable? Yesterday he was saying he didn't love me anymore? They really are from mars!

Anyway, just about to go out so will catch up tomorrow. Take care everyone x

Thanks Haribo. TBH, I'm so nervous about TTC. The thought of having another without Mum and Dad here is one I am struggling to come to grips with.

MOS - if you can get some sessions I can definitely say it is worth it. It helps me just to have an hour a week where I can let my mask down and pour it all out.

LilRed of course you will struggle and it will feel odd not having your mum and dad around to share your news. But they will know. I felt this when I had DD2 3 years ago as I'd lost dad. Think of it as your mum and dad living on in your DD and your new LO xxx

Thank you MOS.

How're things your end?

And everyone else?

Wise words mumoverseas.....I have to see our newbie (due in May) as positive and believe that Mum knows. I'm looking forward to telling DS2 all about her, rather than thinking of the negatives - this is the 'first' big news I haven't been able to share and I try to see it as carrying on Mum's hard work - we had up's and down's but she was a fabulous Mum and really showed me unconditional love & support.

How was your night out mumoverseas? V jealous!!

How was your night out MOS? So much going on on this thread atm, I'm not keeping up with it all. I didn't realise/see all the business about your DH MOS (I knew you were having problems but this is ridiculous. Feel very cross on your behalf. Hope you feel strong when you see him and that emotion doesn't cloud your judgement.)

Lilred, I can imagine the thought of having another child without your parents being part of it all must be a very scary thought. But you can do it and it's very exciting. I almost wish I was TTC too.

My LO started pre-school today. She was very excited and enjoyed every moment by all accounts. I do wish I could have been there and have made up my mind when she starts school I am taking the day off whether work allow or not.

Hope you are ok Sidge and hoping everyone else is managing ok in this bleak part of the year. xx

morning all, hope everyone is enjoying the snow! We have loads here and its so funny watching DD outside with it as she has never seen snow before.

Nancy how exciting for your DD. Great that she enjoyed it. My DD is supposed to be going to 'big school' (Foundation 1) in September and is already excited as a lot of her friends went last September.

Had a lovely night out with the ante/post natal ladies. Was so nice to get out and escape from the madness at home.

DH flew back yesterday. He left Saudi Monday night and got back at around 8am yesterday. Still have very mixed feelings about him/us.
I was quite calm yesterday but today am starting to get very angry with him and thank god he has just gone out for an hour or so and taken DD.
I got so pissed off as we'd booked our flights and had it all confirmed we had seats together, bassinet for baby etc. Well of course him changing his flight when he left on NY day and then re-booking has cocked that all up. I've just been on the phone to Emirates who can't sit us together now and he can't seem to understand why I'm so pissed off with him

sidge I hope you are ok and hope that your grandmothers funeral went/goes ok x

Hi everyone and thank you so much for your good wishes and kind thoughts, they are much appreciated

Granny's funeral is to be next Tuesday, I intend to be there but as I am on the South Coast and she will be in West Yorkshire and we have an awful lot of snow and ice I'm not 100% sure I'll be able to get there!!

MOS I do hope you manage to sort things out with your less-than-dear H. The last thing you need at this hard time is him being a complete fuckwit. Sending you hugs and strength.

LilRed good luck with TTC. A new baby will be such a blessing

everyone else - hugs to you

Sidge, I hope that you can make it, but if not I'm sure that your Granny will know that you are there in spirit.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement.

Hope you get there Sidge - the snow is meant to be easing up north but it's still bad down south. Be careful...if you can't get there, maybe you can do something yourself to remember her and then get to the cemetery as and when? Am sure she will know and understand.

Snow is great if you don't need to be anywhere isn't it?! DS has loved playing in it and it's been a lovely distraction.....until I've had to trek into work!

Hope everyone is well and warm.

sidge I hope you manage to get to the funeral ok but as others have said, if you can't then of course she would have understood.
I'm in two minds about going and visiting mum and dad's grave. Have been meaning to go since I've been back but what with DS playing silly buggers its not happened. Due to fly back tomorrow pm (although a lot of flights cancelled by the look of it) and really want to go but whether is so bad and wondering whether to risk it.

Hope everyone is ok

what would your Mum and Dad have suggested you do MOS? If you feel strongly that they want you to go then go, but I know my Dad would have told me to, "stay at home, don't drive and take care", but he was a worrier.

mumoverseas - am sure your Mum & Dad will understand if you don't make it....you've got a lot on your plate. Hope you managed to talk with your DH and are sorting things out. I always feel closer to Mum at my parent's house, rather than at the cemetery anyway but go there if I want to be on my own with her. Have a safe flight back.

Hi all, I managed to get to Granny's funeral. It was a lovely service and nice to see the family but as we all said, we only seem to get together now at funerals!

We need a nice wedding or birth to counteract all the loss.

MOS how's it going with your DH?

Hello all
Sidge so glad you managed to get to the funeral and it was a lovely service. I know you would have been very upset to miss it.

I didn't manage to get to visit mum and dad's grave due to the snow and ice but know mum would have been furious if I'd risked the weather.

In the end I came back to Saudi with DH and DC3 and 4. The first few days were pretty stressful (loads of nonsense at Gatwick security, overnight flight then 12 hours in Dubai airport waiting for our connecting flight didn't help!) We are settling down into a routine now though and he is being much nicer. Fingers crossed we'll get through it.

We had a catholic priest smuggled out today that held mass on our compound (its our weekend) so that was nice and it made me feel closer to mum (irish catholic)

Hope everyone else is going ok and thank you so much for 'being there' when I needed to talk the last few weeks. You lot have kept me sane(ish) xxx

Glad things are a bit calmer mumoverseas. I hope your DH can give you some support.

I had to laugh at your smuggled priest though - I lived in Dhahran for 5 years so can remember all the illicit behaviours that went on in villas and compounds. Never saw a smuggled priest though!

Hi Sidge what a small world you living in KSA. I love Dhahran, so much more civilised than Riyadh. We used to like going up to the beach now but DH's company has sold it
We tend to get the priest out quite regularly now. He was here on Christmas eve and there is one here in two weeks now. Nice to have a bit of normality in this crazy place.
How long ago were you in Dhahran?

Gosh it was aaaaages ago, umm, 1976-1981. Dad was one of the first waves of British expats I think, working for a shipping company. We lived in a villa first but mum didn't feel safe (especially after waking up to find a man on her bed one night when dad was on nights!) so we were moved to a compound in Al-Khobar.

I loved it out there but then had a child's experience rather than an adult's so saw it through rose tinted specs I imagine; sun, sea, sand and lots of friends to play with. I think mum found it very isolating especially not being able to drive or work. I then came back to school in England for the last couple of years and flew out for the holidays so had the best of both worlds.

I have fond memories of beach BBQs, spending all days in the pool, the Hofuf camel market and all the American imports - Archie and Jughead comics, KoolAid and Twinkies!

Sidge, I'm glad that you made it to your Granny's funeral and that it went so smoothly.