The very special thread for bereaved mums , dads , grandparents and anyone who has felt the agonising pain of child bereavement . Whatever madness you are feeling you will find a knowing ear .

[travellingwilbury]

Welcome one and all , old and new .

We are all here in all our different stages and memories to support each other along the way .

I just love our sons Everlong!!! xxx

Morning girls.

Lighting my candle for you Ilike and Cole - I hope that you are able to find some peace today. xxxxxx

Ilike you and Cole are in my thoughts today and a candle will be lit here for your gorgeous boy xx

jesus bids shine then for all around
many types of darkness in this world are found
sin and want and sorrow so we must shine
you in your small corner and I in mine

apologies to those who dont believe I just think the words are apt for the way we remember each other's loved ones

my little corner of Glasgow will be shining for Cole

FMammy - I think those words say everything about our precious children. xx

Ilike - I hope you are doing okay today. A candle is lit here for Cole. x

Thanks so much for doing that TW.

ilike have been thinking of you today, candle is lit here for Cole

massive hugs to everlong x

Ilike my candle is now lit for Cole xx
I hope you have managed to have a peaceful day xx

Morning girls xx

Hi all.

Many thanks for thinking about us all yesterday, it means so much.

We went to Cole's grave and laid some flowers, spent the day as a family and then went to a fireworks party last night - which M hated because it was too loud!

It's the anniversary of his funeral tomorrow, so it all seems a bit relentless at the moment.

Onwards and upwards, and love to all xxx

Hi all , Ilike , my thoughts will be with you tomorrow too xx

How is everyone doing tonight ? I have still got my stinky cold and I have a large brandy for medicinal reasons which seems to be helping

Evening TW.

I won't join you with a brandy, but I'll have a glass of wine I hope your cold gets better soon.

We've had another lovely family day today. It seems so much more special because of the anniversaries and because dh is working away again this week.

I am glad you can see the postive ilike

its ross's turn for the flu .. I was up about 5 times last night as the wee soul coughed himself hoarse. I can hear him coughing now so it might be another long night

mm brandy sounds good.. something I usually only have at xmas

how's everyone else

Evening all

I'm joining you with a glass of wine ILike - am thinking of you and yours xxxx

Hi TW and FM - Another difficult couple of days here. Back to the office again tomorrow so trying not to feel too screwed up about that and get it in some perspective - not easy!
I'm not doing perpective very well just now

Morning girls xx

Morning all

Good luck for today PPM

I hope everyone is doing ok this morning

morning everyone

Ross's temperature was sky high all night so I have taken the day off to look after him

ppm I hope today goes better than last week

Morning everyone - I can't believe a new thread and 95 posts since I last looked!

shelly welcome and so sorry.

PPM hope work is going ok - it must be tough. The need to just hide away can be so overwhelming at times.

FM I am so sorry for your hurtful mother. Not that it will be of any consolation but my mother is exactly the same. Has never even said Felix's name out loud to me - simply refers (if she absolutely has to) to "what happened".

Ok here - planning a trip back to the UK to see consultant about F's PM. DH was going to go alone as we thought we knew everything from the scans but since discovering they were all wrong we both want some explanations.
Last time I was on a plane was when we knew F was going to die and had been told to go home. Wish I could just get on a plane for a holiday.

Evening everyone and thanks TW, FM and TBM for the kind thoughts today xx

Another tough day but i went in again. I met HR this morning and she was truly lovely. Asked me if i really did feel ready to be back at work and i said truthfully that i don't know but felt i had to try even if it means going off again in a matter of weeks but i've got to give it a good few weeks in order to make that decision. Folk in my team were also lovely to me and very caring. Am just bracing myself for this evening as it was last monday night i just fell apart. here's hoping it gets easier.

hope Ross is a bit better this evening FM

Am so proud of my DS1 tonight - he's just 'read' me his first book - I say 'read' as his memory is absolutely fantastic but heh, he's put a smile on my face this evening

Hiya TBM although it'll be a difficult journey it's probably best that you and your DH both meet your consultant - you'll both have a different approach if you're anything like me and my DH!!

It sounds like you have some very thoughtful and understanding PPM. Just what you need right now. When you've been through something so life changing and major like losing a child, I think your perspective does change and become a bit skewed. Don't be so hard on yourself xxx

{{{Tinkerbelle}}} I hope you get some answers from the Consultant. It's so very hard when something seemingly innocuous (ie flying) becomes a reminder of a traumatic event. I hope in time this will change for you xxx

I hope Ross is feeling better FM, I've got a poorly boy here too. DH has gone to London again for work tonight, so it's all up to me when he (inevitably) wakes up

Morning girls xx

morning.
Hope the past few days went well for everyone. Thanks for the welcome TBM.
I've had an odd few days ds's birthday was sunday and kept looking at my phone to see if DB had text. Said about it then continued doing it anyway. I found it really hard. Going db's flat today with mum to help finish it off. Have to hand the keys in at weekend.

och my poor boy is not well at all. Couldnt get his temperature down yesterday. he spent most of the day just lying on the couch burning up and shivering. I was sooo worried , the doctor said he will be fine.. I wanted to yell aye right I've heard that before and you havent even seen him - but I didnt

Today he seems a little better but he is still running a temperature but at least he is active again

have an appt for the doctors tomorrow where I fully expect they will say.. its a virus .. nothing we can do