The very special thread for bereaved mums , dads , grandparents and anyone who has felt the agonising pain of child bereavement . Whatever madness you are feeling you will find a knowing ear .

[travellingwilbury]

Welcome one and all , old and new .

We are all here in all our different stages and memories to support each other along the way .

Hi Ziggy I hope you're well.

Dee - don't be soft, there is no attendance record on this thread!

Ha ha you crap housewives, I make my own bread so no problems there . HOWEVER, my house is a bloody tip/shit-hole. I hate housework with a passion, so I only do the bare minimum

Hi Ilike I'm ok thanks (well, apart from a v snotty cold but, as no-one else has it, I'm happy to take on all the bugs for everyone else!) Am glad we're properly into January - I hate new year & its increased distance from F. Not for us...

Meant to say hello to new people too - welcome to our lovely thread where you can be as sad, happy, daft, cross as you like! (& nobody takes a register )

Z x

fm, ilike, ziggy- thank you..

am being induced tomorrow unless I can will this baby out beforehand [crumpette wishes to avoid induction after being induced before and crumpette also wishes to avoid any alternative method of induction particulalry the unsavoury sounding ones such as castor oil, curry and any involving DP ]

Was at the hospital today and they now have really sweet teddies in the shop where I bought a paper, had this instinctive reaction to want to buy one to take upstairs to DD, then of course in a flash I realised DD was not upstairs anymore, all a bit weeeird

I shall of course let you know how it goes, rather nervous, thank you for putting up with my mad rants and thank you for understanding

deemented good luck to you too if you are being induced soon?

Oh Crumpette I know just what you mean with the teddy. We were at Disney just before Christmas & I kept picking up the wrong number of things/choosing stuff for F - nearly bought it anyway but was there with in-laws so had to try harder to appear sane!

I was induced with DS2 & DS4 (different reasons) & was ok - quite liked knowing they were on their way! I know it can be difficult, but I wanted you to have a positive experience to draw on just in case... I'll be thinking of you tomorrow - sending lots of 'pushy' vibes.

Z x

Morning girls xx

evening girls

I was down getting Ross's birth certificate the other day and they had a sign up saying they run a bereaved parents helpline - staffed by bereaved parents- was thinking of volunteering
I have had so much help and support since joining this thread and wndered if I can help others.

its either gonna be one of the best things I ever did or one of the worst.. opinions wanted..please

FMammy - I think that sounds just fantastic and amazing and a wonderful tribute to your little lad. Never forget that you can always say 'I have had enough of this task and I need to take a back step.'

Well done you for even thinking about it. I am so proud of you xxxx

Good morning all xx

FM , I think that is a lovely idea and on ethat I have thought about but not been brave enough to do anything about . I think as long as you get proper support yourself while you are doing it then it can only be a good thing .

Are we all bored of the snow yet ? We went food shopping yesterday and had to cue for an hour and a quarter to pay . Ridiculous behaviour .

Morning ladies, hope you're all well; FM I think thats a brilliant idea, if you find it upsetting you can always stop.

xx

Morning girls xx

morning, how are you all?

morning girlsxxx

hiya Hazey - cant reply to your text!!! No credit, as per usual!!

Not done any knitting for a million years but will try and sort something out for you my friend xxx

thanks lovex

baby crumpette arrived this morning, induction yesterday, rather a dramatic tale which was all going swimmingly until he was in fetal distress, heart rate going from 60 to 190+ and back again, then disappearing altogether, I was prepped for emergency c-section but little crumpette decided to make an emergency arrival instead while I was talking to anaesthetist most unexpected. Had cord around neck twice apparently which was why he had problems... I looked back while still giving birth and was horrified to see him blue and not breathing and shouted at everyone to do something now (no pain relief, I'm allowed to shout, right)but thankfully baby is well, baby is rather fat (3.86kg, whatever that is in pounds and ounces, 8lb something) and we are now home

phew

x

Massive, massive congratulations Crumpette. Any names? xxxxx

Congratulations. IIRC its 8lb5oz. Will check in a bit for you if you like. Pretty sure ds was 3.86kg but know he was 8.5

Thanks Shabs, I'm still in shock, it was like my worst nighmare and then it was OK.. still deliberating the names! won't be anything exciting, DP will not approve lol [boring]! Am more freaked that he was born 9 months, exactly, to the hour since L died... anyway I will put a pic up when he looks a bit more presentable

FM that sounds like a wonderful thing for you to do, you and fraser can together help so many people, does that make sense? And of course, it's the kind of thing you could stop at any time, which would be completely understandable. If I ever get a bit more sane I'd like to do something similar x

congratulations ,well done and lovely sizexx

Huge Congratulations Crumpette

A gorgeous boy , I hope you are both settling well and getting to know each other xx

Congratulations Crumpette & welcome to the world little Crumpette! (Crumpettino?)

Frasersmummy - I think it's a lovely idea to want to reach out to others & it'll do no harm finding out what's involved. I've done a lot of parent to parent counselling (for DS2's heart condition, not bereavement, altho I've done some training) & I found it really useful being able to use a horrendous experience in a positive way, if that makes sense. That said, it can be hard work too.

Lo bumped his head today & we all over-reacted: DH shouted, DS2 cried, I went into deep coping mode & he was absolutely fine (which was obvious by his indignant, not hurt, cry) - it doesn't get any easier, does it?

Such lovely news from Crumpette - well done!

Z x

Congratulations Crumpette. How lovely x

oh crumpette... thats fab news.. and home so soon

sending you loving congratulations from Glasgow.

its not snowed much here but its been lying since before xmas and I am totally fed with up with ice and freezing fog ... and it doesnt help that bloody mice are back again cos its so cold.

right will look into what i need to do to help with that bereaved hepline.. thanks for the support

Hi Everyone,

HUGE congratulations Crumpette and welcome to (not so) little baby crumpette Love to you all xx

FM - am sure you'll know whether its something you can cope with doing but you have so much to give in terms of support for bereaved parents. Even though I'm only (just about) 10 months into this living nightmare I know that something like your child dying changes you forever. It changes so much about how you approach life, what matters, what doesn't matter. Things are never the same again. But as we all know that doesn't mean that things can't be ok again ... somehow. Good luck xx

I've had a really rotten week or two. The three days around new year i just couldn't cope with seeing anyone. Experienced the worst few days since G died. Been doing a lot of soul searching. Been tough.