The very special thread for bereaved mums , dads , grandparents and anyone who has felt the agonising pain of child bereavement . Whatever madness you are feeling you will find a knowing ear .

[travellingwilbury]

Welcome one and all , old and new .

We are all here in all our different stages and memories to support each other along the way .

ye another doctor told him he could come home today rather than his consultant. A doctor noticed how much he didnt want to be there so spoke to the consultant who has said he can come home as long as he goes to the GP regularly. He was still waiting for an xray when i spoke to him earlier and no news of his coming yet so i assume he's still waiting for xray and drain removal.

hope all goes well with the induction and your baby

Oh Crumpette; thats so weird about you saying you "expect DD to come back magically" as new baby; I just realised thats what I've been thinking about a new DD/DS; but they wont be Archie, and never could be.

Really f*cking hard isnt it?!

I so hope all goes well for you, keep bouncing on birth ball/pineapple/curry etc

xx

Just thought id update. DB is home. Thanks again for all the wishes and keeping me sane

Shelley that is wonderful xxxx

Crumpette - keep us informed.

Night, night girls xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

morning girls,

I am back at work after 2.5weeks off.. I forgot how hard it is to juggle time

I have to register ross at school next week... and apprently the birth certificate I was given when I registered him isnt good enough because its abbreviated. I have to go to local registry office and pay £10 for a full one surely you should get afull one when you first register a birth...does anyone know is this is just scottish nonsense?

I have just got shouted and sworn at on another thread because Isaid Ross loves hot chocolate and likes a little coffee too... ha ha ha ha some people just have sooo little to worry them....

Morning girls.

FM my Matt used to love his bottle - had it till he was at least 2! He loved warm blackcurrant in it. He also loved a cup of tea in it He has been known to walk around with purple tea because his terrible parent (Me!!!!!!!) hadnt washed it properly!!! You are right some people do have so little to worry them. I might find the thread and tell them Tom loves Jack Daniels!

Good morning all , Shelley that is fab news

crumpette , fingers crossed you are holding your gorgeous baby very soon . I know just what you mean about all those scary feelings . I could never understand how I could possibly love a different baby , I was so scared I would resent it for not being Harry , but I did and he is nearly 6 now and blumming marvellous .

fm , I have dreamt of going through threads like that before and just telling them to get a grip and telling them they are lucky to only have that to worry about but thankfully I do know that as fun as it would be for about 5 minutes , in the long run I would be the one feeling shite .
You are right they are lucky .

thanks shabs. re you comment about tom liking jack daniels. DS is always saying about it. 'mummys jd jack daniels' shopping for jack daniels. He inisits coke is jack daniels as when hes wanted some hes been given coke (only really when we we've toasted matt) he knows what the bottle looks like hes 3.2

crumpette..my biggest fear was thatRoss would look exactly like Fraser.. I couldnt bear the thought of looking at him every day and seeing Fraser

Ross is soo unlike Fraser ... Fraser was deffo dh's side of the family whereas Ross is deffo my side I found it made it easier to see them as 2completley different kids and make room for them both in my heart...

I am praying you will be cuddling your new baby very soon

All my sons have looked like mirror images of each other and Lew is the same. It is kind of wonderful and awful all at the same time - if you know what I mean xx

Oh god....why is there sooo much ignorance of stillbirths out there

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/889366-pictures-of-sb-child-on-facebo ok-yes-no?pg=2 makes we want to yell it happens 17 times a day]

Honestly if folk dont know what they are talking about they shouldnt comment

sorry shall try again

makes me want to yell - it happens 17 times a day

Hello, still here! Still pregnant... !

Sorry about my vents, it's good to know I'm not the only one to have strange feelings about a new baby..obviously I do truly want this new baby, but I'd do anything to have L back even for a second

Also, I think until now, still in the back of my mind I irrationally thought it would be her, so I haven't really accepted that she won't be coming back nor have I accepted that she has actually died (gulps as types that word). I am sort of dreading anyone different and then having to deal with the realisation it is not her.. so I'd love him to look just like her,so she isn't 'gone' but then if he did I'd probably really struggle with that

blah sorry should stop thinking

So, I went to hairdressers today and had the 'do you know what you're having?' question.. I said, yes I think it's a boy.. she said 'are you disappointed? my sister has 2 boys and only wanted girls' so I was silent.. and she said 'it's your first right?' to which I replied, erm, no I had a little girl actually.. she died this year after 2 liver transplants..

and... silence

she did not say a single word to me after that! she then only part-dried my hair and rushed and said nothing to me as I was paying

I felt so bad for telling her [crumpette decides to hide from world again as the neon sign is obviously still very much there!]

Och crumpette dont you dare feel bad about mentioning L ...

Silly moo to treat you like that ... [anger] for you

keep your chin up... you can do this.Its gonna be a rough few days we know that and you vent on here as much as you like.

But believe me or not you CAN do this ...have strenghth my friend and dont worry about upsetting others...the 2people who matter right now are you and your beautiful baby

You shouldn't feel bad for telling her Crumpette. She probably didn't say anything because she didn't know what to say. If only people knew that all they have to say is 'I'm sorry'.

By the end of my pregnancy with M I had pretty much realised that this baby wasn't C, however there were still fleeting moments when this happened. However as soon as M was born, any thoughts I had totally went. M is M and C is C - and yes they do look alike, but not enough for it to upset me, just comfort me.

You'll get through this Crumpette, you've already done the really really hard bit. It will be tough and emotional at times, but you'll get through it.

Oh, and good news about your db Shelley.

FM - it's the same in England. When you register a baby you get a small certificate and you have to pay extra for a full one. Why don't they just issue you with a full one and charge a bit more fgs? Surely everyone needs a full one at some time or other?!

Morning girls xx

Morning folks.

Sorry for being AWOL again. I am officially crap.

Think of you all often though x

Morning Shabs and all xx

How we all doing ?

More sledging for us today school shut again

Dee - you are not crap - you are very, very pregnant

Cant believe how cold it is up here - no sign of any snow melting - Asda wont deliver, taxi's wont come down our road, running out of bread, I HATE WINTER!!! ...and breathe!

I missed your message sneaking in there Dee

YOU ARE NOT CRAP ! Like Shabs said you are very pregnant . Your new baby will be with you very soon . How cool is that ?

Surely you make your own bread Shabs ?
I have just tried to do an on line shop but no luck here either .

Frasersmummy - I stumbled upon that thread too & was at a loss. I want to shout 'this is your friend's baby!' but that's not very helpful, really. My little boy was 6 & I still feel sometimes that people would find it easier if I pretended he was never here, so how it must be for a stillbirth I can only imagine.

Crumpette - my lo (9 mths now) looks just like my other boys & some of his expressions are identical to F. It's wonderful & awful @ the same time. There's nothing like a new baby to help heal tho - our family has been transformed by his arrival. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy & sorry about the hairdresser - 'disappointed?' indeed!

Dee - best of luck for nesxt few weeks. Hope there's not too much snow about!

Hello to all - every time I see a lit candle I think of you.

Z x

Ziggy - I can identify with the awful and wonderful part of your children looking alike. I search for Gareth and Matt in my childrens faces (and Grandsons face) when I see it - I want to laugh and cry all at the same time xx

Shabba - I seem to spend most of my life laughing & crying @ the same time! I suppose that could be a good thing...

Well it seems totally normal to me Ziggy xxxxx