Gareth and Matthews thread for bereaved Mummies - the special thread where the light bulb at the end of the tunnel is always lit xx

[shabbapinkfrog]

So pleased that we are all here helping each other walk the 'crappy' path xxxx

God Shabba. How awful for you.

I know someone who had a baby, was knackered and lay down (in hosp) while husband went out to phone everyone they knew that they'd had a beautiful healthy child - and she woke up and baby had stopped breathing. Christ, am depressing myself now!!
OH wants computer now so have to surrender (unwillingly).
Night night. Hugs to you all. xx

Night sweetheart - take care xxxxx

Hi Busy. Welcome to our thread, but sorry we have to meet under these circumstances. I hope you can find some understanding here

Dee - how did it go yesterday?

welcome busy

I hadn't considered the point of having a DS after losing DD would make it easier in a way being able to say he is my first son, what a good point. Not fair being that 1 is it?

Shabs and Ilike may I enquire as to where I can get a big motherly pillowy bosom too? I am feeling left out!

Hi Ilike

Everything is fine with the baby - but it is what i feared (please don't out me on that as i'd rather friends and family don't know til it's born)
I've shed a few tears - ok, quite a lot. It's not that i don't want a child of that gender... but i know that there is such a risk as it could develop serious kidney/renal problems anytime up to delivery. I guess a part of me is scared of letting myself love this baby in case it dies as well.

I know this is something i am going to have to deal with, but i have use of a fabulous lady who is a berevement midwife, and whos known me since before the boys were born, and she's coming to see me on tuesday, so i can talk things through with her.

How's everyone else this morning?

Crumpette - i have a big, motherly busoom you're wewlcome to borrow

Congratulations Dee. Have the hospital offered you further scans through the rest of the pg? If not, would it be something that would reassure you? If it is, maybe you could ask for that?

It's good to hear about the MW, she will be a great help. My MW was M was great. We would spend ages talking and crying about C and it really helped.

Come here crumpette and rest your head! They're not as impressive as they were about an hour ago as ds has had his first feed already

Yes, i'm due scans at 28, 32 and 36 weeks, so that will be of some reassurance.

Ok. BerylCole is now pissing me off.

Dee - dont care what is considered right or wrong on MN - come here and give us a massive hug.

A bereavement midwife? How amazing - wish I had had one of them. Make sure you have a million questions ready for her my darling

Dee you make me LOL - just checked out that thread xx

morning girls

welcome to all our new mums, its nice that our circle of support is widening all the time

Dee its hard to be pregnant again isnt it.. because I lost Fraser 3 days before term I never really relaxed. You will get through this and the hospital will do everything they can to try and protect you and the baby.. hang in there sweetheart

We were the 1 as well.. there was only 1% chance of losing your child after a healthy 12 week scan. We had had a 12, 20 and 32 week scan... they quote these stats as if you are lucky dont they

When I am not posting I am reading and wishing I had words of wisdom

take care all.. sending you all hugs

Hello everyone and welcome to the newcomers.

Busybutterfly, what happened to your friend happened to me I was half asleep, had been in labour for 13 hours overnight, and thought DD was just sleeping too.

I guess that should be DD1 - I had my scan yesterday too and found out I am expecting DD2. Which was what I wanted, but I still feel guilty about feeling that way. Everything looks fine (at the moment - feel like I have to qualify that) and I'm also going back at 28 weeks.

I feel bruised this morning as between my flab and baby's position the sonographer was really pushing on me!

Crumpette, I'm glad they are changing things at the hospital because of your DD, and pleased that the inquest is all over. I hated the waiting.

I have more to say but DS is yelling at me about fixing things with a spanner, which sounds worrying... back later x

Thanks all - so lovely to hear from / about you! If it wasn't for our OH's rudely interrupting our conversations!!
So nice to be on a forum where everyone is genuinely nice and supportive. And understanding.
Thank you. x

hi girls hope everyone ok,went to a 21st birthday last nite and all my granddaughters were there,knackered me watching,got up at half five this morning and felt as if had no sleep so bed early tnitex

dee and Ilike, thank you for the offers to loan big motherly busoms to me, feel so much better

Congratulations Olissa and Dee on good news, but I fully understand that you must be so so nervous. I keep having vivid dreams about future DCs spendng months in hospital and dying, part of me thinks if I had that 1 in whatever chance before it couldn't possibly happen again... bit nervous.......... I am fortunate that I don't know the stats of DD's illness, other than '10 cases per year, worldwide' which must make the probability pretty low indeed and almost impossible to repeat (touching wood while I type)

Woah just clicked on that other thread- what is wrong with those people? AIBU to wish away a few vocal and ignorant MNers....?? (not brave enough to post there! bc might shout at me )

Oh believe me that is a 'mild' thread for MN!! We had a very interesting thread once about how pathetic people were to light candles for people they had never met....Dont really have to tell you how that went along do I?? Needless to say I got kicked off Mumsnet for a full weekend for speaking my mind

gosh I feel lucky to have found your thread when I needed it after DD died this year, could have posted it elsewhere. Really can't believe how unbelievably ignorant and vicious some people are, I think I will stick closely to your busoms and will not venture anywhere else !!! x

I looked at the other thread too - eek! I'm glad they moved it. I really really wish people would read the whole thread and not just the OP before jumping in with their size 11s (Olissa looks smugly at size 3 and a half feet)

Anyway, I have snuck back while DS is eating his pudding to say I am glad your little one is doing OK at the moment too Dee, and that it sounds like you are getting good support from the medical team. I got told yesterday I was being wrapped in cotton wool and if it was too smothering to shout up! (incidentally the MW also had a motherly pillowy bosom)

Stats are really no help when you are the 1, are they? DH and DS have a genetic condition which 5000 people in the country have, in any of its forms - luckily theirs is mild - 10 cases worldwide a year beats that into a cocked hat, Crumpette!

Gah. Some people just make you want to slap them, don't they?

Sure do.

Just wanted to make it clear Dee - I only think it's good they've moved it because people clearly weren't reading it properly. Not because I think we should be hidden away!

I hope the poor OP is OK - and that she was consulted about the moving or deleting of her thread.

I have been wading in where angels fear to tread on that other thread.. why cant we shout our grief from the rooftops.

There are days when I would love to start a thread aibu to think 17 is far too many kids to die each day ..

dont get me wrong its lovely to have this very special support thread and I know i can post anything on here without fear of recrimination but sometimes you want to yell at everyone and no-one should be made to feel bad for doing so iyswim

I was just wondering where lighthouse was these days?? Am I being thick and you are here and have namechanged whilst I wasnt paying attention

Hello everyone, hope you don't mind me posting, I had a listen to the song at the start of this thread and it seemed so appropriate - my DS Callum died in July 2000 (he was stillborn as a result of complications in labour). I also have 3 daughters, one of whom nearly died 5 weeks after his death (she had undiagnosed type 1 diabetes as it turned out), and twin girls, one of whom also nearly died (they are now aged 7).

I wanted to really offer any support I can to you all, I miss my boy very much and although I have my girls who I love dearly and try to stay positive for, there are times when I really do feel as though he only died yesterday. I am so glad to have found a thread where I don't feel that it is odd to admit to still "not being over it" (as a friend suggested at his first anniversary that I should be). Anyway, sorry for the long long ramble x.