Gareth and Matthews thread for bereaved Mummies - the special thread where the light bulb at the end of the tunnel is always lit xx

[shabbapinkfrog]

So pleased that we are all here helping each other walk the 'crappy' path xxxx

Good morning all xx

Shabs , you will get through it but you shouldn't have to . I hope you are feeling a wee bit better this morning . Always here ( well actually I am very often not here at silly o clock in the morning )xxxx

Good morning girls xxxx

i have never been in the situation where i have to go through what you ladies have been through and i just wanted to let you know how brave you all are and how somehow you at least find a liitle peace one day. shabba were you shabster in a previous name?

yes I was

just wanted to say you are a wonderful lady and i think your help and support has been wonderful to the ladies on here, when i see you name on here it always reminds me of my ex boss who i called mum and so did all the staff as she treated us like her own kids and was always there to give cuddles,

Thank you xxxx

Here here Mehdi. In my mind Shabs has a big motherly, pillowy bosom that we can rest our heads on while she strokes our brow and whispers comforting words

However, in return, I have a big motherly, pillowy bosom that Shabs can rest her weary head when she needs it in return

It will be M's first birthday on Tuesday. Where has the time gone?

Sorry I haven't been round much of late, I've taken on helping to organise a NCT sale in our area and it's taking up a lot of time.

Hiya Moveit - M's birthday! Already!! WOW.

Just seen Robbie Williams' new video and song on GMTV - OMG - he shouldn't be allowed out - he's good enough to eat. Pass me two slices of bread please

shabs i saw him live even better in flesh,wanna eat him and more,jayden was due that day and i went to concert praying i wouldnt have to leave,i was selfish but ds suprized me with tickets,had to see him,fantastic.
been shopping tnite getting presssies for birthdays ,got girlie stuff of course,paying for them ,and cashier said im going to be a grannie to a girl,1st time ,ive got five grandsons cant wait to buy for girl.i said i have three granddaughters ,she said your so lucky,no i have a bloody grandson too,but hes dead,bloody cot death,rant over.
shabs hope your ok you know we all need you,kick up arse or ill be driving up over the hills to boot yer arse.

LOL Hazy - OK I will buck my ideas up dont want you kicking my fat wobbly arse xxxx

Good evening everyone x
I hope everyone is doing ok tonight .
Just to ease my mind can I ask if one of you guys is shakeit ? It doesn't sound like anyone on here but if it is please rant here where we will be nice xx

not heard that MN name before - is shakeit having a hard time on another thread? If so, link it here and we will rally the troops xx

she has dissapeared now but said she was a name changer who had lost a child and used the bereavement boards .

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/819280-to-find-it-really-sad-when-people-wish-their-DC

Have posted on the soddin' awful thread....the same old names jumping in and judging without a thought for other people have linked her to our thread and hope she comes to visit.

Hi all

Lovely to read your posts. 15 years ago I had a daughter, she only lived for a month and a day.

Now have 2DS and 1DD. Was glad we had a boy next so I could say "he's my first son". Like other posters, didn't want to deny DD's life. She has a grave, was named and I just can't believe she'd be 15 this year.

Welcome Busy - glad you found us. 15 years is a long time - its been 27 years since one of my twin boys (Gareth) died and 17 years since Matt was killed.

I find it hard to think that I have 27 year old sons, a 25 year old son and a 12 year old son.

xxxx

What happened with your DD? Dont worry if you dont want to say just yet - Im too nosey for my own good

Have posted there too.. p'raps i shouldn't as i've bumped it... but it needed to be said.

Welcome busy.

And i agree with Shabs wholeheartedly. She is too nosey for her own good.

Nosey is fine. Good to talk about it, I told some friends today (who I've met more recently) and they were shocked. Think I probably sounded very clinical!!
DD had Turner's Syndrome, affects 1 in 5000. And lucky me, I was that 1.
Shabba, I know what you mean about the ages - my others are 7, 5 and 1. Big gap. What happened to your Gareth and Matt (if now I'M not being too nosey...)?

I know all about being that lucky 1, busy. It's horrible isn't it.

And the having to explain. Everyone knows about Down's but Turner's is rarer so I think I sound really practical when I'm explaining it. BTW practical not meant in a good sense...unfeeling maybe?
Have told my DS (both of them) and they light a candle for her on Sundays. They don't understand (how could they at their ages?!) but at least it means I'm not worried about her being mentioned.
And final irony - DD2 born same month, 3 days after DD1.

Ouch - that hurts..

My firstborn twin son Ciaran died shortly after he was born. He had a rare condition called Posterior Uretheral Valves. We were a one in three million.

His brother will be five on Weds and it's bloody hard, having to paint that smile on.

And now i've had my moan, i'm off to bed.

Will chat again soon.

I may be an infrequent poster (prob mainly at w/ends) but will check in regularly.

Night all x

PS Dee, hope Weds is ok. ~hugs~

Busy - Gareth (twin son) had two holes in his heart, his pulmonary valve wasn't working properly and the arteries in his lungs were very small and not growing. He died one morning aged 7 months. He cried and, as often happened, became very blue in his face...I calmed him down and he went back to sleep. My DH and myself put him in the bed between us - we all cat napped for about 10 minutes and when we woke up he had died.

Matt was a month short of being 8. He was allowed, for the first time, to play in our quiet street on his bike. Within minutes a flat backed lorry had reversed over him and crushed him to death.

Now I have written that down it sounds like it all happened to someone else.

Im lucky that I have, here physically, Danny (Gareths twin) and my DS4 Tom aged 12. Also have my one and only grandchild - Lewis aged 14 months. They all keep me busy.

Dee you are a cheeky bugger - fancy agreeing that I am nosey .....why did I not remember that your precious Ciaran was a twin??????? Not only am I nosey but I have no memory.

I have heard of Turners - my heart goes out to you and your family Busy xxxxxxx

Dee great to read your status on Facebook tonight - sending all my love xxx