Lost our little girl... why???

[jangus]

I'm new to this. On the 14th March I went in to be induced at 9days over, they told me I was the least favourable to go into labour out of the three of us that arrived and I was given a pessary. After an hour they put a monitor and after a while noticed blips with the baby?s heartbeat and I was having regular contractions. I stayed on the monitor for a couple of hours and was then moved through to the labour ward. When I got there they decided that because I was not dilated at all and they couldn?t break my waters I would have to go for a section, so I was prepped. I was given an inhaler to stop the contractions and then a doctor came said that he would leave us for another hour and see if things settled down. he came back said things looked better and I was taken back to the other ward. I was left from about 10pm that night and no one looked near me until 10am the next morning because the doc on duty was called to theatre. When I was put on the monitor the baby?s heart rate was sitting around 150 (the previous day it was 140). I was examined at about 11.45am and told that nothing had changed but there were still dips in the baby?s heartbeat all morning. At 12.10 I was told that I was going through to the labour ward and told to phone my husband. At 12.30 there were a couple of big dips and my notes were taken to the doc and he sent back word that I would have a section at 2pm. At 1pm there was a big dip and the doc was sent for, he came in, looked at the scan and said that the section would still be a 2pm as the baby had recovered from the dip. At 1.31pm her little heart stopped. They said sorry and we are left totally devastated and lost without her..... How can we recover from this?

jangus sorry I can't be any help with your question - am bumping this in the hope that Mears might see it.

I probably won't get on mumsnet again until tomorrow, so I just wanted to wish you and your DH all the best for tomorrow and to let you know I am thinking of you. Take care now. I am full of admiration for how brave you sound.

Dinosaurxx

jangus my forst baby dies whenm i was 17 anbd i was treated likedirt by everyone involved, told to go away and have another when i was older.at present 3d scanners are only used on a private basis, but large teaching hospitals usually have them, whenever i had a scan, i was always pointed out the cord, the scanner could see it on a normal scan and a doppler scan will show it, my dd2 and ds2 both had the cod wrapped tightly round their necks, ds2 hadnt been moving and i begged to be induced at 38 weeks, ctg was fine but right at the end he became distressed,the midwife said she wanted an assisted delivery as she onderned he had the cord round his neck, but the doctor refused, he came out blue, had to be started breathing, then stopped again and was rushed to special care, fortunately, he recovered, but i developed pnd asa result of that birth and chose to have dd2at a diff hospital as that one had mismanged all my labours, no kidding. hopefully mearswill see this and be able to answer your questions for you in more detail.

just re read your post, they didnt put you on the monitor before induction?? they should always do that, they need to insure that the baby is happy, also some babies can become distressed after prostoglandin, is inserted, so they are supposed to put you on the monitor, immediately after insertion of pessary to maske sure the baby is not compromised in any way.

spacecadet, that seems to be what happened. On the Monday after I was given the pessary within 1/2 hours I started to have contractions as if I was in active labour (even though I was very unfavourable.. infact they thought I was going to still be there on the Thursday!) This seemed to force her down and because she was very tangled up in the cord it made her distressed. I also didn't dilate. I was contracting all night and when I was examined in the morning i still hadn't dilated, but they still decided not to do the section. it all seems clear in hindsight, but I know that is no use to me now.

Hello Jangus

Although I have not added to any of your posts regarding your recent tragic experience, I have read same and felt so frustrated for you. My belated sympathy to you and your family.

I wondered if possibly you may find some help/support in trying to get answers/have procedures changed within the hospital from the Northern Health & Social Services Council (if you live in this area, or their counterparts in the other board areas).

The council are independent from those who manage and provide health and social care - you can read about some of their functions here , but basically they:

Act on your behalf to improve the range, type and quality of services.

Provide you with sources of information on health and social care issues.

Offer advice and help if you wish to complain about a service.

Having myself worked within the Health Service in this Board area, I would recommend them to you.

Hope this is of help - thinking of you for tomorrow.

butterfly

oh jangus, you poor thing, the prostin gel causes whats called prostin contractions, designed to start labour off properly, in your case your baby couldnt tolerate it by the sounds of it, it doesall sound horribly mis managed.

Thanks for the support.... feeling really nervous and sick to the core about tomorrow. Really need to get strength from somewhere.
Going to have to pray really hard tonight.

oh sweetie, we'll all be thinking about you, xxxxx

jangus, I haven't posted on this thread before - just so shocked at the way you and your baby girl were treated .

I wish you luck and strength for tomorrow xxx.

And also, because I'm so proud of her... Have a wee look at her photo over in member profiles "Our wee angel". She is a wee dote.
xxx

Jangus, I have only just seen this thread and am truly saddend by your loss, she is a beautiful little girl.

I wish you luck and strength for tommorrow, take care, thank you for taking the time out to talk to me when you are going through such a terrible time x

Dear Jangus - hope all goes as OK as can be expected tomorrow! Thinking of you!

jangus, will be thinking of you tomorrow,sending lots of {{hugs}} .

Hope it goes well for you tomorrow Jangus, I'll be thinking of you.
I've seen the picture of your 'wee angel' and she is beautiful xxx

Jangus, I'll be thinking of you, Mark, and Lilli-Mae tomorrow, and will say a prayer for you all.

Thinking of you for tomorrow, mears.

Hi all

I've just phoned jangus and given her all of our love and support for tomorrow. The meeting is at 11am so let's all think of her then.

BubbleXX

bubble if you are still there, have a look at my wee bump on members profile!

you really helped me tonight. I really appreciate it.

feeling quite strong for tomorrow.

((((hugs)))) to you and yours
xxj

sent you a CAT jangus, hope you get answers xx

Jangus I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you today. xx

Thinking of you all this morning jangus and hoping the meeting has gone well for you XXX

Jangus, many more thoughts for you in the hunker household xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hope you will get the answers

cyberhugs {{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

not posted to you here before but have followed your sad story -- you talk so touchingly of your beautiful daughter... her memory will be kept alive... I hope it went 'well' today and you got some answers to allow you to move forward... my friend lost her DS at birth and 4 years later on, she is in a better place than we ever imagined she would be.. it took a lot of time and pain and a very good bereavement counsellor and a short spell of ADs, a lot of talking and crying with friends and some dark times... but she is recovering ... I wish you well on your journey ...

Yesterday was horrible, but we survived. We knew that he weren?t going to tell us anything that would make us feel better, we knew the answers to our questions before we went in.
He was very sorry for what had happened. He admitted that there were lots of missed opportunities for getting her out safe and sound and it was obvious that he had given Lilli-Mae and us a lot of thought since this had happened. He talked through the ctg printouts and explained why the decisions were made. He told us that this was only the second time in his career that the baby's heart just stopped, because normally it would slow down. He told us that there was a period of 17 years that he didn't lose any baby's at all. He told us that he had never before preformed a c-section on a baby that he already knew hadn't survived. We could see his angst. He wanted us to be sitting there with her.
They weren't understaffed in any way and it was purely because they didn't understand the significance.
He told us that after a few indepth long meetings since this happened to us there was going to be a change in practice with monitoring and getting backup second opinions.
He told us that anytime we needed to talk to him, he would be there for us. With another pregnancy he said that he would be looking after us from the start and that I would have an elective section at (max.) 38 weeks. He also said that if we don't get pregnant after 6 months of trying they will start to investigate why.
He said he couldn't give us Lilli-Mae back, but he would do what he could to help us get on with our lives
He advised us to go to the hospital advocate and take things further. He said that we wouldn't be hurting him anymore if we did that.
What can I say. We know we can't get her back. We could see yesterday that he is hurting... he didn't want this to happen and he is sorry for what happened... although that doesn't make me feel better. He said that he had thought about if it had been someone in his family or a friend... he would be so angry, and rightly so.
I feel drained by the whole thing, and no further forward.
xxx