Cole's thread for bereaved muumies: like the sands on the beach that never wash away. I watch over my surviving mum, who thinks of me each day.

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Welcome to our santuary and haven ladies.

Many thanks for Frasersmummy for passing the baton onto Cole and I. I am touched and hope I can do all our lo's justice.

For any people wanting to join, don't be shy. We cry, we rant, we smile, we laugh - whatever we feel like we need to do.

Oh Everlong - I want to come with you!!

Reiki sounds wonderful - do you know you can do it long distance? A friend of mine is a reiki therapist and you can train your mind to send healing reiki vibes. Or something. Hope you enjoy it everlong, and find some peace.

Well the gasman has just been and has failed the gas safety test because of the blocked vent - they are hoping to get it done on Monday,so fingers crossed i may actually be a little bit cloer to moving in!

Hope everyone has as good a day as they can.

Good morning all

Well I had been good all week and not had any booze but I must confess that last night I had a couple .

I am thinking about talking to the teacher today and just telling her how important it is that I am told if Jamie is talking about Harry , I think we all cope with it really well but its just handy to be forewarned .

He said to me last night before bed time
"I just wish he didn't have to die "
I had to ask him if he was talking about Harry or the chicken

Thankfully he said both , my heart was in my mouth he was going to say just the bloody chicken

You have done better than me TW - I have had one glass every night - but, to be honest, feel miles better already. I remember Danny being fascinated by the Easter Story at Primary school. He had a fascination with death at about the same age as Jamie. I think many children do BUT because we have been bereaved of our children it really, really hurts - physically and mentally.

Just keep talking to him my love - when HE wants to. It will not harm him if you cry....in fact I think it has the opposite effect...it shows that just cause you are a grown up there are some things that make you very sad. Also how you 'cope' and 'deal' with it will show Jamie how we can be both sad and very strong.

Honesty is the vital, vital thing in these situations. I fretted and worried about how Danny would turn out but he is just a wonderful, compassionate man.

Jamie sounds like a real 'little love.' xxxx

Thanks Shabs its good to hear from someone who has to do this . We did have a lot of questions back in the summer and we got out Harrys special toys that had been put away in the loft to show Jamie . I think after that he felt more a part of the whole thing and Harry was no longer this magical person .

All I can do is to answer him when he asks his questions but its just bloody hard sometimes .

How are you doing anyway ?

Im doing ok thanks my love. We booked our holiday for July - back to our beloved Rhodes. Cant afford it, dont really know how we will pay for it, but know we will

The great thing about our thread is how far down the crappy path we all are. We can read a post and think OMG I remember struggling with that problem.

A friend said 'try not to get too involved with the bereavement thread I dont want you being sad again.' Tried to explain how much I love our threads. I am 'comfy' with all of you. I can say the most ridiculous things and you all know instantly what I mean.

I know what you mean about being told to not get too involved . People just don't get how nice it is to be able to talk openly with people about how we are REALLY feeling .

Holiday sounds like a good idea . I think we are doing camping in Cornwall . We did it last yr and we had a great time and the boys loved it .

It will be our 10th time at the same hotel boring sods aren't we? We have made friends with the owners, the staff and loads of the local people. We are content there, Tom is very happy there and the added bonus - its boiling hot and sunny!!!

Hot and sunny sounds good , we were so lucky last yr , apart from the day we got there it was beautiful weather , I think we had the only two good weeks of the summer so fingers crossed it works out well this yr as well .
Camping and rain are not a good mix , I will cry and find a hotel

Right I am going to move my backside and get some of that housework stuff done

Hope you have a good day and no doubt I will be back later xx

See you later xxx

My mum had that done Everlong....she told my mum she could feel grief at the back of her head. My mum loved it too - she got a lot of comfort from it and was saying she would like to go back for more treatment.

Whatever works for you - grab it with both hands and make the most of it. It certainly cant harm you in any way. xxxxxx

You sounded very calm in your post Everlong...maybe its just the fact that have been in a relaxing atmosphere - lets face it though if you feel better keep doing it

Afternoon all. Im having a Wilf free afternoon! He's gone to my friends so I can get things done. Ive taken the sliding walk of terror on the pallets to "Mr Garden Man's" to deliver his tea, braved the freezing fog to go the shop, made a toffee cheesecake....had a friend for coffee, put some washing which i collected from Ali's in the drier or over radiators and am now having a few minutes on here!

The cheesecake is yummy!!!!!!!!!!!

I am v jealous of the homemade cheesecake Lottie

I am still doing the cliche new yr diet rubbish

Sad thread

Just found this thread. Have asked Bubbster to come over and have a talk - if anybody has a minute could they post on this thread and try to help.

Thanks very much ladies xxxxxxx

I'll go and have a look at that post Shabs.

FM - sorry, I feel terrible that I ended Frasers thread that way, I hope I haven't offended or upset you. The title is a line from a poem, I'll go and find it and post it here.

everlong - whether you are sceptical about the reiki working or not it doesn't matter. If it has made you feel better, it has worked

hi girls hope everyone doing ok,i remember not long after jayden died my oldest grandaughter who was about four at the time,sat in back of car and suddenly said she asked her friend if she wanted to come to see her brother,then asked if she knew where he was,hes buried at bottom of garden because hes dead,i was horrified but we never used the word cemetry its his garden and he was in corner,but i remember thinking we were doing a crap job explaining her brothers death.
last week at table she said she wished hed never died as she never would know what he would look like what do us say to that
my ds is on day nine and still off drink as the medication would make him ill,were been to burnley to pick up bits for his bathroom to keep him busy at weekend,but its a lovely ride down there,and we have to go in that boundry mills ha ha.

I love Boundary Mills........I often used to go in there when we went to Yorkshire to visit my late dh's family.

i know i got some lovely bits and pieces today lottie where is your late dh from

He was from Brandelshome just outside Bury.......but my lovely super fantastic(can you tell i adore him) stepson lives in Pateley Bridge. He used to live in Oxenhope very close to the original Railway Children house!!

Hi everyone

Ilike I genuinely dont know what you are apologising for ..

I made that sarcy comment cos I had typed a response and then realised we may have moved over here [thick emoticon]

hazy we too talk abou frasers garden... its strange that you share that story about your oldest grand daughter.. just last week or the week before ross said to us.. I wish Fraser was still part of the family I would have liked to know him

I just said we wish Fraser was still part of the family too.