For Bereaved Mummies. Remembering Jack and our other precious little ones... the sharing of hurt is the beginnning of healing.

[lottiejenkins]

Third time lucky........ Thanks to Shabs and FMN. I hope i can carry the baton as well as you did. I havent made a good start though. Things can only get better.........

Hiya Trips......thinking about you today, as always. Glad you enjoyed Lewis' picture.

Am just book marking the new thread {great title Lottie}.

All going well. I may not be here a lot at the mo, but you lot are never far away from my thoughts xx

We miss you Moveit but can understand why you aren't on very much!! Dont expect a note explaining your absence

Hope Mac and you are doing well. I can smell that lovely baby smell from here! Tommy was over the moon when I told him about Mac - he is baby mad at the moment. xxx

I like the new thread title Lottie. Well done you!

I am having a really crap day, well few days, so am useless for others I'm afraid.

Today it is 6 months since Eris was born. I don't know why I am finding it so hard but I am. I don't understand why 6 months is any different from any other day, but it obviously is and I'm struggling. TBH, I have been slumping for a week or so and now wonder if it is because of this.

Anyway, if I'm not around much then don't think I don't care. I do, I'm probably just having a bit of a woful sob someehere.

Love to all. xx

Oh FMN - cant believe that time has passed since I first read your thread. Oh sweetheart - 6 months will feel like yesterday or like years and years. Its a milestone isin't it? I bet you wonder how you have got this far down the line....I used to think my head would explode or that my heart would literally break in two.

I would imagine that part of you is glad that you are pregnant and part thinks 'what the hell have I done - is this the right thing'

I think you have to take one minute at a time - dont be more ambitious than that. Be kind to yourself. I still write my worries down and then go through them one at a time. The birth and loss of Eris is uppermost in your mind because you are a loving human being. I wish I could help.

I will be eternally grateful to you and darling Eris - without the two of you I would never have found all these new supportive friends.

......but I would sacrifice all these lovely girls on our thread so you could have Eris back

Oh FMN, I'm sending you a big virtual hug. Anniversary dates are so difficult. Like you I am out of sorts (big understatement) leading up to them - not that I realise it at the time.

So much love to you and your family xx

FMN.............take time to cry, time to remember, take time for you and know that we all love and care for you.....xxxx

big hugs to everyonexx gosh big hugs atm we all could do with it x
fmn big hugs to eris and all our angels up there togetherx
trips hope h is ok ,we have gone totally against fil wishes today and called gp out,we have no choice,darent even think next step ,we stayed all morning and i forced him to eat a sandwich,he has no energy anymore,but he cant give up,they cant treat him as heart cant take it,but were not giving up.bil is waiting for gp as i have kids to pick up ,thanks girls thinking of you allxxx

You have done the right thing Hazy..........well done xxx

Well done Hazy xxxxxxxxx

quick question gp been coming back in morning lucozade is ok ,he says you cant have fizzy with bag,but im sure u can x

The story of Macs arrival

Just noticed this in active conversation!! Fantastic story by Moveit. Mac is huge!

move it .. what od you mean you will be too busy??? what are you doing???? hahahahah. sorry couldnt resist .

fmn ..Shabster said it all.. and so eloquently that I can only echo her sentiments and say we are all here for you.

Just remember to take time to aknowlege your grief.. cry scream throw things.. do whatever your head/heart tells you to

sending you loads of hugs as well as everyone else

move it .. what od you mean you will be too busy??? what are you doing???? hahahahah. sorry couldnt resist .

fmn ..Shabster said it all.. and so eloquently that I can only echo her sentiments and say we are all here for you.

Just remember to take time to aknowlege your grief.. cry scream throw things.. do whatever your head/heart tells you to

sending you loads of hugs as well as everyone else

oops sorry

Just another quick post from me in my current self-indulgent mind set.

Had routine midwife appt today. She struggled to find the heartbeat. Could here plenty of fetal circulation sounds and kept thinking we got a "glimpse" of heartbeat but she asked me to go to the hospital to be sure. So I go off to the hospital, into the same room I went into 6 months and 2 days ago where they couldn't find Eris' heartbeat. I sat there trying to be composed but then just started crying. Luckily the midwife found the heartbeat straight away this time, but to have to go there today of all days....

FMN, couldnt leave you there on yout todd !

How awful for that to happen to you, like you say today of all days. But maybe, just maybe, today of all days is a good day to remind you that this pregnancy is developing normally and you and baby are fine ?

Things happen at the worst times dont they.

I hope you are ok now ?

Feedmenow.......hugs for you lots of them........... so sorry you had to go through this today.... Moveit i said a prayer welcoming Mac today when i went to church, Hi everybody................

whos about????????? anyone there????????

I'm here lottie

fmn what an awful thing to happen .. its bad enough going back to the hospital for scan etc. but going back under those circumstances is just horrific..

have you stopped shaking yet??

its gonna be a long time till term eh??

I had to go back in one of the rooms where i was before i lost Jack after i had Wilf if that makes sense. I was very ill after having Wilf so i was isolated from him,.... was so horrid. Black sickness and diaoreah! Didnt get to feed him myself till the next day, he was on bottle till then!

I had a few problems with bleeding etc after I lost Fraser and was referred back to the mat unit for a scan by my gp

tried to tell me Ihad to go into maternity admissions where they had told me there was no heartbeat with Fraser

but i refused and said I would go to a&e.. eventually they reliquinshed and siad i could go straight to ultrasound dept

I think I only got away with it as I sat in my gps surgery refusing to get out till he got me a better deal.. he was on the phone to them saying you have to help me out here !!

The day after Jack died our now deceased and much missed gp was at mine first thing to see me! I miss him(the gp) so much he was fab. I miss Jack more though...........

OMG FMN - sorry I wasn't around before to talk. I wish I could meet you face to face and in real life. Eris would want you to be happy....she knows you are not having another baby to replace her....she wants you to be fulfilled and happy.

Please try to calm down sweetheart. I am not trying to be the clever devil (as my gran would say) I just want you to know that somehow life goes on....not sure how or why....it just goes on. Somehow Eris did not survive and somehow you found yourself having another baby and somehow, somehow the world has carried on turning. I found it hard to believe that I had left my two sons in two mortuarys BUT life carried on, for everyone else except me!

I wish so much that you were in front of me. I wish I could hold you close and talk to you. But I cant. I live many miles away from you...I dont know how to make you feel better I just know that all will be well....eventually all will be well. xxx