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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

This is life (after the passing of DH) Thread two

30 replies

Hisredipad · 20/05/2026 13:03

Gosh. We filled the other one up. Here’s a new one for us to continue our support of one another.

here is a link to our previous thread

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/bereavement/5308661-this-is-life-after-passing-of-dh?page=40&reply=152421290

OP posts:
Jaffapaffa · Yesterday 08:45

@Roseshavethorns absolutely - my garden is so big and so daunting! I haven't even thought about the weeds.
At the moment I'm trying to keep on top of the grass. I'm also tackling the immense amount of brambles, mainly because the physical effort required is helping me sleep at night, and the repetition is quite numbing to my brain. I put a podcast on, and just slowly clip away. My aim is to get it all into a reasonable state so that I can sell the house in a couple of years time - it is too big and empty for me now, and will continue to be so.
The plans for vegetable plots etc are all going to one side - I will probably put as much as possible to lawn, just so that I can manage it all.

@Hisredipad it was a comment that you made on a previous post that has made me seek out grief counselling. I have no idea, of course, as to whether it will be effective or not, but I do have to rebuild a life for myself from the shattered remnants of my old one. Although goodness knows it feels like an impossible task most days.

Hisredipad · Yesterday 10:00

@Jaffapaffa I truly had no idea how much life would change without DH. I think I thought it would be the same, but just a little bit different. It couldn’t be more further from the truth. On another post, someone said they were homesick for their old life. That was kind of what drove me towards counselling.

@Roseshavethorns i find the garden hard but fortunately it’s not large but I’m determined this year to get DH’s garden tools under my belt as he said they were really good for keeping the garden under control. A good friend did it for me last year but can’t this year. I’m taking some stuff out and laying turf up to the fence so I can mow it easily. I’ve got a plan to put in a couple of large bushes I can push the mower under to soften the garden edges. The garden is a bind but I don’t want to move.

OP posts:
ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · Yesterday 12:15

My garden has always been my solace (I created it from scratch when we moved here) and I’m appreciating it even more now. Even so, aspects of it are distressing. We bought new garden furniture last year and it grieves me that we’re not now going to spend the summer having leisurely suppers in the garden. I’m also trying to tame the allotment.

Sidebeforeself · Yesterday 12:22

You know what? This thread isnt about bereavement - it’s about love. This is what love is all about. Entwining your life with someone so tightly that you feel every tug when they are pulled away from you.

Wishing you all a big dollop of peace x

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · Yesterday 14:53

Yes, it’s exactly that.

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