For Anyone Needing Support After Losing a Parent. Very Supportive Thread (September 2025)

[Crunchymum]

A follow on from the nearly full old thread - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/bereavement/4932881-for-anyone-needing-support-after-losing-a-parent-very-supportive-thread-november-2023?page=40&reply=147297138

I hope this thread continues to be a place of warmth, support and shared wisdom.

Thank you xx It's so so awful doesn't seem to be any escape from the pain and sadness 💔

So sorry for your loss, and that yesterday was such a hard day @Sleepybear1234

Thank you means a lot x 🙏

@Sleepybear1234 I can't imagine how tough yesterday must have been for you. Take care of yourself xx

Thanks so so much 💓 x

Hi all just come across this thread. Seems like what I need. Mum passed nearly a year ago and dad 5 years back. When mum went it felt like I lost them both at the same time..sending love to everyone

My mum died in November 2023 but the grief is harder this Christmas than it has ever been. I miss her terribly. She used to text me everyday. She was such a presence in my life. It's all so pointless without her. Nothing matters much anymore. She made Christmas special. My heart is broken.

Sending lots of love to everyone, I am missing my Mum and always looking for signs from her still. It's very hard this time of year x

I tend to dip in and out here but wanted to come back on and say how much I'm thinking of everyone else in this same boat that none of us wanted to be in.

All of us here offering support to others and bound together by these life altering events whilst having to carry on in real life as if our worlds aren't altered forever.

My lovely mum died in May and even just writing those words my stomach just swooped as if I'm on a rollercoaster. It just still doesn't feel real and whilst day to day I carry on as "normal" (whatever that is now) it still makes me catch my breath.

Sending love and light and solidarity to you all.

Agree @LetMeJustCheckMyCitrusPocket , it was six months since we lost Dad on Monday and it hit me like a sledgehammer, and Christmas was a whole other experience of my Mum inviting extended family and carrying on as if everything was normal. Cue more tears on the way home. But today I met old friends for a walk and we raised a glass to my Dad, and that’s my plan for the rest of the holidays.

Sending love to all, and extra hugs to those
who've suffered such recent losses.

Hi
Just checking in on everyone. We got through Christmas ♥️ mine was sad with some nice moments which I think is the best I could have asked for.
I’m dreading tomorrow being on the eve of a new year without my mum, one she won’t be part of feels horrible. It’s also a reminder of this time last year when it was becoming clear she wasn’t well.
Sending love to everyone and special thoughts to those who’ve suffered recent losses at this difficult time xx

Very similar to me @dmango- I had some moments when I hve been happier than I thought I would be this year but also some of my worst moments since it all happened. Just feels like everything has been amplified over Xmas. New year is going to be a funny one too - I’m craving a bit of work and routine now as I think about it all less then - and it’s not so in your face that everyone is having a lovely time and ours has just been so very different this year. Sending love to everyone on here at this difficult time - I feel this will be a difficult time of year no matter how many day/months/years on we are x

Christmas was ok, almost good. But I’ve worked my butt off this school holidays and I’m getting tired. My mum’s interim death certificate arrived today. They’ve missed the accent off her name, which has infuriated me. So once I’ve got that sorted I can start with the funeral and probate. I need to get the books in for my cafe too. The accountant kindly gave me an extra couple of weeks when mum died. I feel exhausted. My hours will reduce a lot when the schools go back. That will help.
To add to the shock/sadness I discovered yesterday that an ex colleague/friend died suddenly the day after my mum. Only 60. No illness or anything. So I have her funeral next week as well.

Sending hugs and strength to you all.

We did get through it, didn’t we? Giving us all a massive pat on the back and a big hug.

sorry if this upsets anyone but I found this poem earlier and it just sums up my Dad and the sort of man he was so wanted to share it with you too. Xx

We all survived Christmas so we can New Year too! My Dad really struggled the day after boxing day. He apologised and said he tries to be strong for me and my brother but I told him he doesn't need to be. I know he's hurting. My parents were together for 56 years, since they were 16 and 17. I told him if he didn't get upset by Mum's death I would be more worried about him. My 2 DC got us all through Christmas Day. They don't even realise the strength they give us. Let's all hope that 2026 gives us peace and hope of better days as we move either into the first year or another new year, without our parent or parents.

Just catching up with this thread. We managed to get through Christmas. It was 3mths to the day on Christmas day. I still think about him every day and even though I didn't see him every day, knowing he no longer walks this earth makes me feel like a part of me is missing. I don't think I will ever feel whole again. It's like I've lost part of myself. I'm trying to seek comfort in nature and being outside more, I can't help but keep looking up at the sky wondering where he is. Grief is very strange. I did go to church Christmas eve, and found comfort in that. It felt good for my soul. I feel like I need to believe in something more and that I will see him again. I had a few weird coincidences after he died, and still felt he was around but I don't feel that so much now. Wherever he is I hope he is at peace and watching over us. This time last year he was with us for new year's Eve dinner. Strange to think how quickly things can change in a year.

Happy new year to you all.

Last night I was hit with such grief again, I went outside to watch the fireworks and just sobbed and sobbed. Saying goodbye to the last year Mum existed and starting the first year of my life she won't be in just seemed massive if that makes sense. DD came out and we cried together, she turns 18 next year and she cried that her lovely Grandma won't be here to see it.

I dreamt about her last night, only the 2nd time since she died. Both dreams so similar, I knew she was gone but we were chatting, holding hands, me telling her how much I miss her and love her and her telling me she knows, that she hears me and loves me too. I'd like to think it was her visiting me when I needed her but who knows? I feel a bit more peaceful this morning either way.

Morning @Fightingdragonswithyou sorry it was a tough night. I feel like you, all day yesterday I had the same dread and was tearful about just that, leaving behind the year my mum was part of and starting a New Year that she won’t be 😞just feels wrong and so sad.
Just sending love and peace to everyone here and wishing we weren’t but also thankful for the support on this thread. Wishing everyone peace and comfort in this New Year ahead of us ♥️

Thank you everyone for recent messages. Sending love to everyone.
I went to bed early last night, and didn't acknowledge new year's turn much at all really. Couldn't face it.
A new year without my wonderful dad is another awful thing that doesn't feel real at all. I just feel so sad a lot of the time these days..
@Fightingdragonswithyou yes, I reckon your mum visited you to reassure you she's OK,, and that she can check up on you. I'm so glad it gave you some comfort. Take care x

Hi ,
I’m not sure how to start this . I lost my mum in the March after a mammogram missed her stage 4 cancer . After watching her paralysed in agony with a broken back and relearning to walk I thought things were improving . Unfortunately not and it spread even further and she passed away in a lot of pain.
I’ve struggled with watching and caring for the most beautiful woman struggle so much.
And yet , despite this people have still wished me a Happy Christmas and New Year “ starting a new year without her feels so wrong and unjust.My heart feels like it’s in a vice,

I send my warmest wishes to anyone out there , going through similar .

Huge hugs to all. Had a better few days, then bam, sobbing my heart out this morning. I know grief comes in waves, but just feel like I’ve been hit by a tidal wave. Five years this summer since my dad passed, and I yearn for him, love to all going through this xx

@Middlemarch123 It’s so hard isn’t it? And unpredictable like you say, you think you’re doing ok and then you’re back in the thick of it. It sneaks up on you. Sorry you had a bad day and I totally get that yearning, if only we could see them again even just a quick visit 😞. Sending love and hope you have a better day.
@HopeSpringingHigh I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, it so sad and hard. I lost my mum in March too and like you there was hope she was getting better after a long hospital stay. It’s so tough and I feel you, the New Year was hard and it did feel weird people saying Happy New Year when in your heart it’s clearly not. I’m glad the Christmas and New Year period is over as that felt like an especially hard time so now it’s just the usual trying to keep on getting on. Sending love to you as you navigate this difficult journey x

Thank you @dmango , appreciate your post very much. I was so fortunate to have my dad for sixty years, how lucky was I. But when it hits I feel like a vulnerable little girl. Lost mum two years this Easter, but it’s the loss of him that hits the hardest. I think I was the ultimate daddy’s girl, we were close and he was a strong but gentle man, very supportive. Christmas and New Year was hard, a reflective time and very bittersweet. Hope you and everyone grieving has a better day today🌹

Checking back in - hi everyone! Christmas was actually ok (after 4 weeks of almost constant dread and tears beforehand). Very quiet obviously, but bearable. New year is never an event for us and TBH it’s just another day. Now though we start to clear Mum’s property in earnest in order to sell it. I’ve been putting that off but can’t any more. Off there today with boxes etc - now I am truly dreading that. Anticipating a lot of upset. Sending hugs to all.

Do you know the song 'Missing you' by John Waite?
There's a line which goes 'Every time I think of you I always catch my breath.'

That's exactly how I feel about my mum. Sometimes my thoughts go elsewhere and then there's a sudden sharp pain of remembering she has died. It takes my breath away.