Please help me with funeral arrangements

[feedmenow]

My daughter Eris was stillborn on Tuesday at 39 weeks.

Now we are having to do something that I never dreamed I'd have to do, and I have no idea where to start.

I suppose we need a funeral director, but who do we use? I don't know anyone round here who has buried their child. In fact, I don't know anyone who has buried their child, full stop.

I think we want her cremated, although it saddens me more to know that with tiny babies there will not be any ashes to take away with us.

I have looked online at coffins but cannot bare to imagine my tiny daughter in one.

I want something beautiful to commemorate her in some way, but what can be said about a tiny angel who never even drew a single breath?

Has anyone else here had to go through this? How and where did you begin?

Oh feedmenow I'm so very very sorry.

Feedmenow, I'm so very sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how hard things are for you at the moment. My thoughts are with you and your family

I must admit, much of it is a blur, but I think the hospital contacted the funeral directors for me. I went and had a meeting with them about what I wanted. I gave them some things to put in the coffin, a crucifix, a toy rabbit and a little wooden initial thing for his name that my sister had bought for him and his twin (who survived).

I hope to God you don't have a similar experience but the director made a couple of really inappropriate comments which I put down to his unease at the situation.

I was advised not to decide on an inscription for the headstone for several months. And, yes, it is amazingly difficult to know what to say.

The day may pass in a blur and it is extremely surreal. I hope you get the support you need. I can tell you that some days will be impossible but these become less frequent in time although (in my case) sometimes worse.

Thinking of you and yours.

feedmenow - i am so sorry, thoughts are with you and your family at this time xx

Feedmenow- no advice, just all the love in the world to you and your family. I am so truly sorry. You will be in my prayers.

MC/flosspot xxxx

No advice I just couldn't pass this by and not comment.
So sorry for your loss
xx

so sorry feedmenow. thinking of you and your family at this time

Wishing you strength x

so very sorry you are going throught this FMN. Maybe ask someone at the hospital as sadly they will have dealt this these sort of decisions before and may be able to recommend someone.

Cx

Oh feedmenow...I am so so sorry to hear your news. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through, and hope that you can find some comfort at this horrible time. I think that the most important thing is not to rush. Make sure you do what you feel is right. Big hugs.

I'm so so sorry feedmenow

My heart is breaking for you.

((((((())))))))

feedmenow, my thoughts are with you and your family. I am so desperately sorry to hear the news about your daughter Eris. If there is anything I can do, please get in touch. I'm sorry, words cannot express what I want to say to you.

G xxxxxx

I'm so, so sorry feedmenow. I don't know what to suggest but I am thinking of you and your family.

my heartfelt condolences, feedmenow. xoxox

So, so sorry fmn

im so sorry for you loss xx

I'm sorry that I dont have any advice for you, but I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss.

Cx

Oh my love. My heart goes out to you at this hard time for you and your family.
Eris is a beautiful name for a beautiful angel.
I hope you find peace soon.

Hi
just wanted to add my deepest sympathies to you and your family at this most awful time.

There is some good advice on here so far, much better than i could ever give, please take some time to go through it and take from it what you will.

I can not imagine the pain and suffering you must be going through right now and although i am sure no words of mine would give you comfort, i'd just like to say;

lean on people when they offer support, take from people when they offer help and speak to people when they ask how you are.

Jay

Oh feedmenow, I am so so sorry for you and your family at the loss of Eris. Unfortunately I have no practical advice and can think of nothing to say to make you feel better, but I will be thinking of you over the coming days, weeks and months. Take care xx

so sorry for the loss of Eris

I am so so sorry for your loss feedmenow I will be thinking of you and your family xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how terrible you must feel.

I lost a baby much earlier on in a pregnancy (19 weeks) and the hospital organised the funeral for us. They liaised with the funeral directors, who liaised with the cemetary (my baby is buried with my mother). We asked the hospital chaplain to conduct the funeral.

I know that www.uk-sands.org/Home.html has a leaflet giving advice about funerals.

x

feedmenow, no advice but I couldn't pass by without saying I'm so sorry for you, your family and your beautiful angel Eris . I hope you can find the strength in each other to pull through this terrible time {{{hugs}}}

Oh feedmenow I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. I hope you are all managing to get through this somehow, some way, do take care.