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Original poster

Please help me with funeral arrangements

375 replies

feedmenow · 14/03/2008 14:35

My daughter Eris was stillborn on Tuesday at 39 weeks.

Now we are having to do something that I never dreamed I'd have to do, and I have no idea where to start.

I suppose we need a funeral director, but who do we use? I don't know anyone round here who has buried their child. In fact, I don't know anyone who has buried their child, full stop.

I think we want her cremated, although it saddens me more to know that with tiny babies there will not be any ashes to take away with us.

I have looked online at coffins but cannot bare to imagine my tiny daughter in one.

I want something beautiful to commemorate her in some way, but what can be said about a tiny angel who never even drew a single breath?

Has anyone else here had to go through this? How and where did you begin?

OP posts:
justjules · 15/04/2008 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainDippy · 15/04/2008 10:01

Thinking of you and praying for you today. xxxx

Saturn74 · 15/04/2008 10:02

Thinking of you all. x

NorthernLurker · 15/04/2008 10:06

Thinking of you

Phono · 15/04/2008 10:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

margosbeenplayingwithmynoonoo · 15/04/2008 10:22

xx Same here xx

frumpygrumpy · 15/04/2008 10:41

Sending love from Edinburgh. I hope your day is special for all good reasons. Sweet dreams to your darling baby girl xxxx.

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever, its loveliness increases, it will never pass into nothingness....." John Keats

maggie61 · 15/04/2008 11:11

Thinking of you ,your family and your beautiful daughter Eris , wishing you peace and happiness for the future, with much love from another bereaved mum

lollyheart · 15/04/2008 13:04

Ive been watching this tread i just want to say i was thinking of you and your family today.

Iris is a happy angel now playing in gods garden with all the other angels inluding my niece elli rose.

Rest in peace baby girl xxxxx

lollyheart · 15/04/2008 13:32

So sorry ment Eris

WrongSideOfTwenty · 15/04/2008 14:08

Thinking of you today, the sun is shining here for baby Eris. I hope that today has brought you some comfort now that she has been laid to rest.

(I used to be Lomond)

shabster · 15/04/2008 14:25

The sun is shining in Bolton too FMN.

Hope you are all ok - whatever ok means

charleymouse · 15/04/2008 17:50

FMN you have been in my heart and prayers today. I hope things went as you wanted them to and you, your DH and DC are okay. Your DDs poem is beautiful. Take care sweetheart.
Love Charleymouse
I'm giving my DT2 a big hug right now it does help.

frasersmummy · 15/04/2008 21:33

Hi fmn..

I hope you got through today ok.

I'm sure that everyone else will agree that the pain never goes away but you will find it gets easier with time

but there will always be times when its hard ..

today would have been fraser's 4th birthday and I shed loads of tears

best advice I have is to allow yourself to grieve.. dont fight it

and remember we are here for you no matter how long after the event

let us know how you are doing when you feel up to it

shabster · 15/04/2008 22:12

Frasersmummy - I am lifting my glass to your lovley little lad. Happy birthday little buddy - you are missed very much and never forgotten. Happy 4th birthday Fraser

charleymouse · 15/04/2008 22:26

Happy Birthday Fraser and big hugs Frasers Mummy. It was my DTs 1st birthday on the third of this month and it was tough but we got through it.

frasersmummy · 15/04/2008 22:32

awww thank you both ...

sometimes it feels like such a lonely journey its nice to have support like this

shabster · 15/04/2008 23:18

Night FMN - Night ladies. FMN I hope you have felt our support today. Always here for you

shabster · 16/04/2008 09:39

Good morning everybody - hope you are all ok?

FMN - I bet you feel so shattered this morning. Kind of in a numb limbo weird world?? I hope everything went OK for you yesterday. Tommy (DS) sends his love - he gets too involved with MN!!

EllieG · 16/04/2008 12:33

feedmenow - was thinking of you yesterday x

Original poster
feedmenow · 16/04/2008 16:30

Eris's thread for bereaved mummies

OP posts:
vickyd0 · 08/05/2011 20:19

my baby boy was stillborn last thursday i was 35weeks im dreading the plans for the funeral how do we say goodbye to our only son x

Cloudydays · 09/05/2011 00:51

vicky I'm so very sorry about your little boy. It must feel unbearable. I'm sorry I have no advice re: the funeral but I'm sure that others will be along who can give you practical support. Just wanted to reply to say how sorry I am about the loss of your son. x

Cloudydays · 09/05/2011 14:01

Hi again vicky

Just a suggestion, as I see that there haven't been replies to your message since Sunday.

Do you feel able to start a new thread asking for support in coping with your loss and planning your little boy's day? There are many, many caring people here, some who sadly have been through similar things, and I'm sure that if they saw a new thread you would get some very helpful responses.

It's just that this one is listed with 370 or so replies already, so people may not realise that support is needed for someone with a very recent loss, facing into the very tough task of planning for your baby's funeral.

Wishing you strength, and lots of real life and MN support. May your little boy rest in peace and may he always live on in the hearts of those who love him xx

Cloudydays · 09/05/2011 14:03

Just saw that you've already started a different thread. Ignore the above, except for the last part. x

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