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Original poster

Please help me with funeral arrangements

375 replies

feedmenow · 14/03/2008 14:35

My daughter Eris was stillborn on Tuesday at 39 weeks.

Now we are having to do something that I never dreamed I'd have to do, and I have no idea where to start.

I suppose we need a funeral director, but who do we use? I don't know anyone round here who has buried their child. In fact, I don't know anyone who has buried their child, full stop.

I think we want her cremated, although it saddens me more to know that with tiny babies there will not be any ashes to take away with us.

I have looked online at coffins but cannot bare to imagine my tiny daughter in one.

I want something beautiful to commemorate her in some way, but what can be said about a tiny angel who never even drew a single breath?

Has anyone else here had to go through this? How and where did you begin?

OP posts:
toomanyshoes · 14/04/2008 21:38

what a beautiful poem your daughter has written. I will think of you tomorrow and hope the day can bring you some peace

frasersmummy · 14/04/2008 21:41

hope tomorrow passes peacefully for you

sending you hugs

TheFallenMadonna · 14/04/2008 21:44

Another who will be thinking of you and your daughter tomorrow.

MrsJohnCusack · 14/04/2008 21:58

your daughter's poem is so beautiful

I hope that tomorrow is all that you need it to be and will be thinkiing of you

shabster · 14/04/2008 22:13

FMN - I will be with you in spirit tomorrow my love - just giving you a hug now.

Night night Eris, I am so glad to have 'met you' through your mummy. I hope you will meet my little boys in heaven - they will adore you. Play games together and please give them a hug from me. Night night special girl. With love, hugs and kisses from Shabba and all her family.

dippymother · 14/04/2008 22:23

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow....

chocolatespiders · 14/04/2008 22:28

fmn

have just read this thread all the way through
I have never cried so much reading a thread on mumsnet...
I have never been through this kind of heartbreak so i dont know how you are feeling.
The piece where you talked about them not being able to find a heart beat and how you so hoped they were wrong.. made me go to pieces... what an awful thing for you to have to go through..

your daughter poem is truly beautiful...

I hope you find some peace tomorrow...I will be thinking of you all...

NorthernLurker · 14/04/2008 22:34

chocolatespiders - it has that effect on me as well

FMN - if there was something I could do I would but there isn't so just have a virtual {{{hug}}} and please know that a lot of people will be carrying you and dh and your family in our hearts tomorrow.

CaptainDippy · 14/04/2008 23:24

Eris is with God now.

I am so sorry for your sad loss.

My thoughts & prayers are with you and your family at this time feedmenow.

Your daughter's poem is absolutely beautiful.

CaptainDippy · 14/04/2008 23:25

Eris is beautiful. Thank you so much for being brave enough to post her picture on your profile. She is so so beautiful.

TinkerbellesMum · 14/04/2008 23:52

I couldn't read past this page and I'm crying thinking back to my little girl. I find that I go through times when she is more in my mind and she is at the moment.

I remember how hard it was to go through the whole funeral day, so I am really sending lots of love your way.

lottiejenkins · 14/04/2008 23:54

Will be thinking of you 2mw FMN, i hope Eris finds my Jack to look after her. Love to you all xxxxxxx

fortyplus · 15/04/2008 00:01

You ladies are all so dignified in your grief.

My heart goes out to you - especially you for tomorrow fmn.

xx

luvaduck · 15/04/2008 00:45

have been lurking all month - even dreaming about this thread, but haven't had the courage to post as words seem so petty...

so just want to say lots of love for today, i hope it goes well. Take care of yourself. you (and all the other bereaved parents on here) seem so strong, i'm in awe.

much love x

SparklyGothKat · 15/04/2008 01:17

I haven't read all the thread but wanted to say that I am thinking of you for today FMN. I haven't lost a child, but my friend did. Her son was born 2 weeks before my Dd2 and died at 4 months old due to a heart defect. I know that she like people to remember him and talk about him.

I hope today goes just as you want it to.

much love xxx

Arabica · 15/04/2008 01:28

What a beautiful baby. Words seem totally inadequate. But want you to know that you are very much in my thoughts xx

Dottydot · 15/04/2008 05:31

Thinking of you today FMN xxx

UnderRated · 15/04/2008 05:37

I've only just seen this.

I'm so sorry

shabster · 15/04/2008 07:06

fmn - I cheated!. Last night was very frosty so I dragged in the pot of forgetmenots from my back yard. Guess what we have this morning? Yes - Eris' forgetmenot has appeared. My DS just got up and said 'mum why is there a big pot of flowers in the kitchen'. I explained about your story and he said 'tell the lady I feel very sad for all her family but Mum her little baby will be just fine she has my brothers to look after her and they are all in heaven'. So matter of fact and simple. Wish we could climb into the mind of a 10yr old.

Remember today that we are all with you. Try to imagine our thoughts and love surrounding you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

BouncingTurtle · 15/04/2008 07:22

FMN - my thoughts are with you today.
Your beautiful daughter is an angel in heaven, looking down on you. You will always carry her in your heart until the day God brings you together again.

rarebreed · 15/04/2008 07:23

I'm another person that has been reading this thread, with no idea what to say as i can never understand what you brave ladies have been/are going through.

FMN, you will be in my thoughts today, i too will have a minutes silence at 10am, i hope today brings you some peace sweetheart.

x

shabster · 15/04/2008 08:07

In a baby castle just beyond my eye,
My baby plays with angel toys that money cannot buy,
Who am I to wish her back into this world of strife?
No, play on, my baby, you have eternal life.

At night, when all is silent, and sleep forsakes my eyes,
I'll hear her tiny footsteps come running to my side.
Her little hands caress me, so tenderly and sweet,
I'll breathe a prayer and close my eyes and embrace her in my sleep.
Now I have a treasure that I rate above all other
I have known the glory, I am still her mother.

cazboldy · 15/04/2008 08:28

thinking of you x

such a lovely poem from your dd x

sadkim · 15/04/2008 09:09

be strong it might seemlike you will never get through today i felt the same a couple of months ago when i buried my baby daughter. i won,t lie to you this is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life but you will come through the other side i did. i still cry for akira everyday and it feels like i,m torn inside out but everyday gets a little easier my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this awful time in your lives god bless you all and a safe journey to heaven for your angel now flying free.

kim daffeh

if you want to talk my contact me
kimdaffeh at hotmail dot co dot uk anytimexx

lackaDAISYcal · 15/04/2008 09:13

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and your lovely family and beautiful baby Eris today.

Rest in Peace Little One xx

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