I'm hurting and I don't know what to say. This is the first day since he passed that my family have left. My baby was just 3 weeks old, 8 weeks premature and died in my arms after I had fallen asleep with him. It was horrific to wake up to. I can't forgive myself and I don't think my husband can either. My heart aches. I feel physically sick...we can't confirm the date until we get him back from post mortem. I'm dying inside and would kill myself if I hadn't already got a toddler to look after. Is there anyone our there lost their baby this way? Where do I go from here?? I hate myself for what I've done.
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LuluF91 · 02/04/2022 19:11
I'm sorry I haven't responded but I have read everyone's responses..and overwhelmed with kindness. It has eased the guilt somewhat that most parents have fallen asleep with their babies. I still blame myself but something in that helps.
My marriage is hanging on by a thread. I have a traumatised husband who is blaming me. He has said the most cruel and unkind words that I killed his son, I suffocated or choked him to death...I just don't know what to do at this point. This is not who my husband is and he has mentally cracked. I have emotionally shut down for the sake of our toddler and he is totally breaking down. I feel the weight of the world is crushing down on me. I'm terrified to leave my husband alone due to his mental health but my family aren't here to support me as they've had to go back to their lives a few hours away.
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