One of my 11 month old twin daughters died 3 month ago and Imfalling apart no one want to know, even my DH has left me!

[summersun06]

I feel so alone and yes I still have my 9 year old and the other twin, but I feel empty.

Hi izzybiz, Im sorry to hear of your families loss. Its true people are always saying "at least you have your other two children" and I agree with your SIL its such a kick in the teeth. A few people have told me about the Compassionate friends website and I will look it up x

I am really late to this one but want to add my sympathies. I have no words of wisdom, perhaps the only thing I can say is love your baby girl and 9 year old to the ends of the earth, think of what an amazing gift they are and how they love you totally and unconditionally. You are their world and they love you for it.

Thank you Melliedmin, you are right I just need to look at my other girls and think how thankful I still am. Its hard for me with my daughters twin sister sadly everytime a look at her it reminds me of what I have lost

wish i could say something to help you
couldnt read this and not post
x

Thank you harleyd just to achknowlege me is kind enough x

i will keep checking in here and if theres anything i can do, you know
i can listen x

im so sorry for your loss and sorry to hear about you and your DH.

summersun - I just want to add my thoughts and prayers.

Where are you parents in all this?
Do you have a particularly close friend that you can call on?
The Samaritans are a great organisation, especially for those dark nights. They are open 24/7

Can you tell us more about your twins? I would love to hear about them both

BTW - you may find that the church you went to to bury your daughter could be a source of great comfort to you

I know it must be so hard summersun to look at your other daughter, she is both girls now, strong and beautiful and lovely. Your other darling daughter will never ever be forgotten as you have a living reminder of just how beautiful she was.

I wish there was a magic wand to wave, sadly there is not but we are all hearing posting and reading and trying to help one another.

I was always told that when you had a serious upset or worry put a note in your diary for 6 months time. During the next six months just try to get through each day, one day at a time. Only do in that day what is needed, nothing more. When you get to six months you will see the note and remember you made it. Look back at what you have achieved and be proud of how far you have come.

Keep on keeping on, we are all hear to listen.

Similar to other posts I feel anything I say would be inadequate really but I feel I should say something... I am a surviving twin whose twin sister died at 19 months. I also have an 11 month old ds so I am really really feeling for you right now. My prayers are also with you xx

So sorry to hear about your tragic loss, Summersun..

I cannot imagine what it must be like for you and then to also find that no-one is able to support you through this in RL is hard.

I would say to talk about your lost little girl and keep her memory alive whilst also appreciating your girls who miss her too. I don't know how you can find that balance tho so all I can do is send my thoughts and hugs.

(((Summersun06)))

(((Summersun06's other two girls)))

Hi bright, My Mam lives in Cumbria so I dont see her often as she cares for my Gran who is very ill. My friends have really let me down and sadly they dont want to know.

Are ALL your friends far too busy, or just stupid?
I would consider making some new friends soon.

{{{{hugs}}}}}

can you go see your mum so that you are not alone?

Hi Summersun, so very sorry to read your story. I couldn't read this and not post anything. You and your children are in my prayers.

I only live about 30 mins away from Durham and would be happy to meet up for a coffee sometime if you need somebody to talk to. I haven't experienced the loss of a child so I can only imagine how you are feeling x

sorry if that appeared harsh, but I would really like to come round and give them a darn good talking to

Is there anyway you can be with your ex for a few hours with the dcs or would that be truely awful?

Christmas is such an extra difficult time because

1. It is all about children and just now you are without any of them and just on your own and 2. Everybody is so dreadfully busy with Christmas.

Have you had a chat with your mum on the phone? Even your gran being so poorly must grate on you, just one more thing to have to cope with

i have been thinking about this.
if, god forbid, something so terrible happened to one of my friends, yeah i would feel so helpless and useless. but i could never turn my back on them.
please keep posting on here summersun, there are lovely people here who can try to help you, just chat, or just listen xx

This is terrible. I'm so sorry and will be thinking of you, summersun.

The twins were and are such beautiful and happy babies. The twin we lost was so strong and such a little fighter, she was ill from day one until the day she died. Even when she was in the intensive care unit which was alot, she was happy and loving. The nurses were like her family and everyone new and loved her in the hospital, she just keep on proving the doctors wrong. She was on a ventilater for most of the of her life, she was so wonderful, she wasnt fazed by anything.

and your twin that survivied? what is she like now? what does she love to do?

Hi Tequila thank you it would be really nice to meet up with you sometime x

glad to hear that there is someone near you - hope you can catch up with TequilaMB.

can you tell us about your girls?