One of my 11 month old twin daughters died 3 month ago and Imfalling apart no one want to know, even my DH has left me!

[summersun06]

I feel so alone and yes I still have my 9 year old and the other twin, but I feel empty.

Do you have any support from a local church?

It feel like two years of my life has been erased, my daughter dying, her dad leaving and not going to hospital any more. Every thing you talk about and everyone to talk to is medical, doctors and nurses become your family its a huge lost.

Hi Dutch, no I dont have much involvment with the local church. I used to go to a community centre where Christains ran the church between themselves and we were all great freinds but it all went pear shape and it doesnt run any more. When my daughter was ill and I was told one of the local churchs were praying for us all, that meant alot and we decided to have the service at that church. Sadly the thought of going back to that church is abit scary and I know it will bring back memories of the funerel service

That sounds so hard. Adjusting to life without your darling daughter must be unimaginably difficult, without even considering your partner leaving. Remember that there are many people here to talk to now.

I am going out in a minute but there will be lots of others around (as you have seen). I will check in in the morning. Hope you have a restful night.

Thank you Constancereader, have a good night x

I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you're going through. You need proper support, please get in contact with a organization that can help. also keep posting on here I'm sure you will get lots of support xxx

Thats a nice idea thank you, the only thing is I dont have a car and it take 2 hours on the buses, sadly its not very local

Thank you me23, you are right I do need proper support

Hii summersun, I am just truly sorry for all you have endured, and I know it must feel so lonely at times.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope that mnet will help you.

i havent read allthe posts, but where abouts are you in the country. I would be there like a shot if i could.

Keep posting, you are extremely brave, and oh i dont know what to say but, keep coming on.
x

Thank you Pirate. I live in Durham and sadly I dont feel very brave.

HI well I live in Devon, so porb bit far to pop round.

I just think/know you must have lots of strength, and maybe brave isn't the word. I am so sorry for you r loss.

Yuor dh and you splitting is very harsh. Mine left me on the anniversary of a difficult event. Not trying to say its any where near like what you have gone thru tho.

Lone parents section on here, is really helpful for me at times. If you ever fancy it.

How are you fixed for xmas, are you going to see any family or friends, or have some company?

Summersun - I lost my little girl earlier this year and I understand what a lonely nad terrible place the world is to you at the moment.

I am so sorry to hear about your little girl. I understand that the percentage of marriage breakup following the death of a child is somewhere around 80%, as it is so unbearable. Life is unfair and makes no sense.

I had and still have much support from mumsnet. It is much easier to offload on here sometimes than in real life.

Please do contact me if you wish.

gggglimpopo at hotmail dot com

No I not getting any visitors this Christmas or New Year, the girls are at there Dads this weekend until Christmas Eve and they are going for New Year. Sadly I have babysitter and no where to go and no one to see, none of my (so called) friends want to no. Its so depressing isnt it, reading my message back its hardly suprizing

{{{{{summersun06}}}}} I'm so sorry you are going through this right now.
It's not on you having to wait so long for counselling. And your poor girls must be grieving too
Only thing I can suggest - and please feel free to ignore, is to pop into St Nic's church in the Marketplace - really lovely, friendly bunch - and no they won't try to convert you, but you will find some nice people to unburden to. Like I said, feel free to ignore if you don't feel comfortable with churches! There are 3 services on tomorrow, 10am(all age morning service), 3pm(crib service, popular with the kids!) and 6pm (Carols by candlelight), you could even pop in after one of these services and talk to someone, as I think they'll be serving coffee after most of these.
I would also advise you go back to your GP to see if you can be bumped up the queue as well.
Also, these guys are good CRUSE The telephone number for your local branch is 01325 288633.

Again, so sorry for your loss

I would meet you myself (I live about 40mins from Durham), but it's my due date tomorrow so I could go into labour at anytime.

Hi ggglimhoho, I am so sorry to hear about your little girl, you are right the world does feel like a terrible. I just hope and pray that our Children are in a better place. I will contact you, thank you that means alot x

summersun06 So sorry for your loss.

there is usually always someone about on MN for whenever you need a "chat".

Thank you so much Bouncing, I will come along to St Nic's sometime, it could be just what I need. Good luck with your baby x

Thank you MrsWeasley, I have found MN very helpful

Thanks Justaboutcoveredhercomposure, I am a Christain sadly I havent found a church since my last church shut

Try not to look to the wine too much to get by, drink is a drepressant afterall.

I am around at home this year and will keep checking to see if you are OK.

MNer's pop on and off, so don't be upset if you post and no-one comes back staright away, but we will be here for you.

So sorry summersun

My SIL and her DP lost their 19 month old DD to pneumoccocal meningitis in April 05.
She gave birth to her 2nd Dd just 8 weeks later.
She has had people say to her "well at least you have her" meaning well, but all SIL wanted to say to them is, which one of yours would you choose? I want both of them not just one.

She found alot of comfort in the Commpassionate friends website, she even goes to meet ups now with some other bereaved mums.

Sadly there are quite a few parents here that know exactly how you are feeling right now, there will always be someone to listen .
I wish you and your children love and peace.xx