Support For Anyone After The Loss Of A Parent.

[Mummylin]

I hope this thread will be as supportive and welcoming as we have had in the past. It is so heartwarming to see the support you all give each other. Wishing you all well. 💐

@Foxsakemum no you are correct, thinking like this will not make anything better and is probably going to be unproductive.

At least the memories are all nice ones and we can think back and smile x

@Foxsakemum completely normal, look, as long as you behave more or less like a decent human being it doesn't matter what's frothing around inside your head. The old brain can throw up all sorts off odd stuff, and yes, sometimes we go,
"Really brain? Really? I know X is a bit of a waste of space but that's a little harsh!"

@mrssunshinexxx the loss of my Mum feels completely different to the loss of my Dad, My Mum was so sudden and we didn't really get to say goodbye. My Dad had time to say his goodbyes and we had chance to get used to fact he wasn't going to be here much longer. Neither of them got to enjoy any kind of retirement which leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

It must be so difficult for you at this time knowing how much she would have loved a new baby in the family x

@Glitterb it's so so hard I worry how I will cope with the baby I know she will be the first person I want to ring when she's born, I've been sending her messages every day still I think it's a comfort thing so I guess she will be the first person we tell but she just won't be replying x

Pressed send too soon @Glitterb the suddenness is the worst isn't it no time to adapt or wrap your head around it or say all those things you long to say x

@mrssunshinexxx I agree, I feel guilty that I didn't phone an ambulance sooner or that I didn't fuss over her before she went into surgery but I didn't want to scare her. I would give anything to go back to that day and make sure she knew how much we loved her, but its easy to say that now!

@Glitterb everyone says this but she will of known you loved her of course she will,
I constantly think every day I wish dad had called ambulance sooner, I wonder if she was feeeling unwell before but didn't say (she never ever complained or was ill) I wonder in those last moments did she know that was it she was leaving us and this life was she scared

@mrssunshinexxx I came to the conclusion that even if I had called an ambulance sooner I would still be thinking I should have more! It is just human nature and you do what you think is right at the time. Calling an ambulance probably wouldn't have made the much difference to the outcome as she would be got worse and worse in hospital still.

I know she had migraine symptoms and I am a sufferer as well and know how bad you can feel, I wouldn't have thought anything of it either really. The consultant told us it is incredibly common for people to have bleeds of the brain for days to be unaware.

If it teaches us anything it is how short and unfair life is sometimes. Your Mum would want you to be happy and live your life to the full with new baby x

@Glitterb you aren't wrong just feels impossible some days I am very alike her so hoping when baby comes any day now I get that strength back from her

Take care of yourself x

Aargh thank goodness I'm WFH, had a call about memorials for Dad and now sitting here sniveling - normal office is very very open plan.

@FluffyFluffyClouds 😔 xx

@mrssunshinexxx

Happy due date, thinking of you today xx

@Glitterb thank you that's really kind x

Hi all, I've been feeling a lot better today and yesterday. I now feel guilty that I'm not crying every minute!? However my mum was a big believer in the afterlife and I feel her with me still ( I know not everyone believes but it is giving me the strength I need to carry on right now) but I am having an issue with my partner. He has no tolerance for my grief and is actually in a mood with me tonight and not speaking to me as 'he is bored' !?!? Have any of you found your grief has caused a strain on your relationship? I expected more support from him to be honest.

I really miss my dad today. He died 6 months ago and it doesn't feel any easier today.

I really miss my dad today. He died 6 months ago and it doesn't feel any easier today.

@imissmydad I can't imagine it ever feeling easier it sucks

@Foxsakemum no this isn't normal at all me and my husband struggled a little bit he certainly wasn't saying he was bored of making me feel guilty for grieving he wanted me to stop rushing around for everyone else and concentrate on my own grief but I couldn't see that at the time. Now we are getting along as normal

I knew today would be tough. 4 weeks to the day since my dad died. I wish more than anything I could hug him. Thoughts are with you all who feel the same today xx

Thoughts with everyone missing their parents. My Dad died on father's day last year. It's been a really tough and tiring year supporting my mum and going back and forth home (and then not being able to see her at all and worrying about that) but I am generally in a much better place, a year in. Wishing you all

How is everyone doing on this very tough shitty road

It's been five months and I can't help but feel I should cope better even though I know it's ok. A colleague seems so together despite her loss just a few weeks earlier.

@thesuperfluousone from the small snippet you have said that makes me think maybe she wasn't as close to who she lost or she could be very good at pretending she's ok? I only break down around a select few x

I don't think you should be coping after 5 months it's no time at all in the scheme of your whole lifetime xx

Joining the club
My Dad died three weeks ago. His funeral is Tuesday and to protect Mum I have done all of the arrangements. Being busy has helped and I’ve been ok. Until tonight.
I have sobbed for hours!
He really was the kindest, most gentle man.
We have never had a cross word and he loved us all unconditionally.
He passed suddenly and unexpectedly and I feel so cheated that his funeral will be such a small, distanced affair.
So many people wanted to come but have to settle for a live stream instead.
It all just adds to the grief doesn’t it?!

I wrote my post without looking back over some recent posts.
They are all so heartbreaking and sadly, familiar.
My Dads death was also a bleed into his brain.
My Mum left him downstairs watching a film one evening and when he wasn’t in bed when she woke in the early hours, she went downstairs to check on him.
He was slumped, semi conscious in the chair.
He died 5 hours later. I kept thinking about when the bleed occurred - I just pray it rendered him unconscious pretty much straight away.
To think he was aware, suffering and unable to get help haunts me.
God bless all if you who are travelling the same path.

Really feel for you @Picassopilot x
My mum died of the same she was so fit and healthy and just the loveliest woman you could wish to have as your mum or even just know I am so proud she was mine.
Her and my dad went for a walk not unusual, came home laid in the garden and she complained of a bad headache and never complained about feeling unwell she then started throwing up and speech went mumbly dad tried to carry her inside to the shade but she was like a dead weight ambulance came 12 hours later .. gone. And in that time she was unconscious and I have a 17 day old baby- my first and the heartbreak and all the emotions of a new baby and grief is indescribable