Welcome @Cuppabiscuittea but so sorry you are joining us. It is a lonely time and I think we are all feeling vulnerable too. You are just as entitled to grieve as the rest of us, it doesn't matter how expected it was you've still lost someone important who you loved. So we can hold each others' hands in this isolation and help in any way we can.
I was with Dad at the end and I went over and over that time in the first few days. But it is beginning to fade. I know not everyone can look at pictures during their grief, but I have found some photographs of him to look at when the pictures of his last hour come in to my head, to try and replace the horridness with a happy smiling picture. It has helped.
Small steps @Hidethesausage. I hope your stomach has untwisted and you are feeling you've achieved something by going round. I'm still trying to summons the strength to go to Dad's to clear out his fridge and tidy up a bit. I need some of the paperwork there, but I just haven't been able to face it.
I found Easter really hard and also very isolating, but I got through it. Talking to the funeral director again this morning emotionally exhausted me for the day, so I've browsed the internet and vaguely watched TV since then.
I slept OK to for the first few days, but now I can't get to sleep until really late, then have strange dreams and wake early. Dad is in lots of my dreams but in bizarre circumstances.
Glad you've got a funeral date @Glitterb. I'm down to the last bits of the funeral planning, but like you its not until the end of next week.
A friend who phoned this morning asked what I'd been doing and I reeled off all the funeral, solicitors, etc. But she stopped me and said "no, what are you doing for you?" I couldn't answer her. I wake, sometimes actually get dressed, I eat sometimes, I watch TV and snooze on the settee, I try and organise all the things to do with dad's death, then its bedtime again. It's made me think! So I'll ask that same question to my fellow grievers here?