My darling son passed away

[dewisant2020]

I have joined Mumsnet to connect with people who may be in a similar situation as myself.
My DS passed away very recently completely unexpectedly.
Life has been a rollercoaster of emotions ever since, I can't even begin to write down how I feel, I am grieving so badly & days seem so bleak at the moment.
My DS was only 13 and completely healthy, he had his whole life ahead of him and for some reason that's been snatched from him and us.
I miss being his Mum, I miss his smell, his amazing sense of humour, I miss my old life. I wish with all my heart I could turn back time, I am full of so much sorrow and hurt.
I sit here and wonder if I will ever feel happiness again

I am so very sorry for your loss and can only imagine the pain you must be feeling.

Your DS sounds a very special and beautiful boy.

Sending love and strength

@dewisant2020 I can only add my words of condolence to the many others who have posted. 💐💐💐💐 I can only say that if any of your friends/family offer their help (practical or otherwise) PLEASE take them up on it. Sending you some very unmumsnetty virtual hugs xx

My heart is broken for you, life is just so unfair sometimes. The pain of losing a child is like no other. It has been just over a year since my daughter died suddenly. I honestly don’t know how I’ve got to this point but somehow I have.

Do whatever you need to do to get through the next few weeks. It sounds like you have been incredibly strong. I found the funeral very very difficult but doing things a little bit differently helped. For example, we did the bit where the coffin is brought in with just DH and I there. We had a short service just the two of us and then a celebration of life with a group of family and friends. We were advised not to do this by the funeral directors but I’m so glad we ignored them.

Please tell us more about your son if you would like, and if it would be useful to know the other different things we did at the funeral please PM me.

Oh OP- words cant express how sorry I am that this happened to you.
Keep talking about him- tell us about him. Losing a child is not right- its just not right for a child to go before their parents. Google the Rob Delany interview with Russell Howard- he talks about losing his son and he's so brutally honest and open about how it affected him I think you would find it helpful.

((((massive hugs)))

So sorry you have lost your darling child.

@dewisant2020 something went through my heart as I read how he died. That's my worst nightmare. I check on my kids every night to see if they are breathing which most people think is mad. However I fear what happened to you. I also know that there is nothing anyone can do. I am so so sorry for your loss and wish you the strength to get through this 💐

I can't offer much advice but just wanted to say how terribly tragic this is and I am so sorry for your loss. How utterly devastating for you and your family. Sending you loads of hugs,

Thank you all again for your well wishes, it does really mean a lot.
I slept in my sons bed last night I just needed to feel close to him, I sobbed and sobbed for what felt like hours.
This morning I woke up and for a few seconds life felt normal, it very quickly came flooding back to me.
I'm off into town on the bus now I want to get some photo frames to put a few family pictures in.
Out off all this disaster i've realised i'm really quite a strong woman, there have been a lot of days i've wanted to end my own life with the pain but somehow i'm still here to tell the tale and for that I am patting my self on the back.
Matt would be so proud of me and his sister i'm sure, as typical teenagers are he never showed his true emotions, but I know he is looking down on us and helping us through this.
I am off back to the funeral directors tomorrow to go over what i've chosen for the big day, I hate making plans for the funeral and hate talking about it as it doesn't feel like it should be something i'm even having to consider for a 13 year old boy but I know it needs to be done.
We are having a few friends and family around tonight for food and a couple of drinks it will be good to have some company but as is quite often once I am in the company of people I yearn for them to leave and when I am on my own I want company.

I'm so very sorry for your loss x

I'm very sorry for the loss of your son @dewisant2020

What an awful shock for you to find him @dewisant2020. You are so strong.

Sending you and your family so much love x

Just read how you found him - how awful. What a shock.

Are you aware of the charity CRY - Cardiac Risk in the Young?

CRY

They able be able to offer you help and support at this difficult time.

Sending love and strength to you & your DD

So sorry about your Lovely boy.x

Well another day is coming to a close and i'm still standing (just about)
Went to see my GP today who's prescribed some sleeping tablets which i'm going to take shortly and hope for the best.
GP was fantastic today and has gave me some information of support groups who both me and my DD can talk to and offer us some support at this difficult time, i'm not sure if i'm personally ready to talk yet but I would like my DD to get some help.

We had some people around today for chinese food and a few drinks, I couldn't wait until they all left, despite being in a room full of people I felt like I was the loneliest person ever.

My DS had planned to go to a concert on Saturday night which I got him for a christmas present back in October, he really wanted to go and was looking forward to it, I never thought for one second he wouldn't be able to go.

Any how folks i'm off to sleep soon and hope for a better day tomorrow, thank you all for your kindness and compassion xx

@Standrewsschool Thank you for the information I will be sure to look them up on the internet.
I will NEVER forget that night as long as I live, the night my life changed for the worst.
I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, no Mother deserves to loose a child, I fail to understand why this happened? how did it happen? why me? why the fuck couldn't he have taken me? such an innocent boy gone with his whole life ahead off him whilst murderers, child abusers and rapist are still breathing it should be people like that who loose their life not my innocent lad

My 3 year old son died in the same circumstances nearly 8 years ago now, suddenly in bed. Please feel free to send me a private message I am more than happy to talk. Thinking of you xx

So sorry for your loss. This must be the most devastating thing a person can ever go through.

I found I went on automatic pilot mode with the funeral planning, it's the coming to reality afterwards.

There's a brilliant charity called Winston's wish who help support bereaved children, might be good for your DD.

They were fantastic when we needed them.

I hope you managed to sleep last night x

I am so so sorry for you loss. Sending you so much love.
I lost my DB unexpectedly 4 and a half weeks ago. I am devastated but cannot imagine for one moment how my Mum is feeling.
My heart breaks for any parent who has a lost a child.

I'm so so sorry to read about this 💔💔 I lost my DD aged 2 last year. Your life will be completely upside down now for the foreseeable. You will find ways to get through this please keep lots off people around you and take any help you can get off people. If you want to message me for a chat I'm here for you I'm so sorry for your loss xxxx

My heart hurts reading this. I have no wise words, I just couldn't leave it without making a comment.

I am so so sorry for your loss. Wishing you strength to face what is to come. I'm so sorry. X

We have a word for when our spouse dies, widow.

We have a word for when our parents die, orphan.

There is no word for when our child dies, somethings are just too awful to name.

I am so deeply sorry for your and your dd's loss, utterly heartbreaking, i am wishing you strength to face the future

May your beautiful son live forever in your heart.

I’m checking in with you OP, to let you know I’m still thinking of you and your DD, and of course your darling son. It is so incredibly hard to lose a child, completely life altering. Please take very good care of yourselves.