Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Oh my god ... Help me please I don't know what to do!!!

679 replies

Mummy2TandF · 29/08/2007 09:48

my dh went fishing last night and at 11:30pm I had a knock on the door from the police .... My dh has been found dead on a footpath at the lake They think it was a massive heart attack, a stroke or a blood clot but will do a PM tomorrow, I don't know what to do, I have my family here with me but it is easier to talk on here How do I tell my dc's? WHAT do I tell my dc's - they are only 2.9 and 10 months Will they understand, what are they going to do without their daddy? How will I get through the days without my dh? I know we argued etc but I really, really, loved him and now he is gone Help please

OP posts:
RGPargy · 03/09/2007 14:47

Thinking of you, Mummy2TandF

xxx

onlyjoking9329 · 03/09/2007 20:03

still thinking of you all

poptot · 03/09/2007 20:13

Just wanted to say so sorry

PinkChick · 03/09/2007 20:26

i cant say anything to make it better, but wanted you to know theres one more person wishing you and your children the very best of wishes and courage right now.x

michymama · 03/09/2007 20:34

I am so, so, sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

mummytojess · 03/09/2007 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mummy2TandF · 04/09/2007 01:43

I have been in contact with LegoLand, who put me in touch with a company in Norway who deal with all the photos and unfortunetly they only keep them for 24 hours I am truly gutted about it It woul have been lovely to have a reminder of dh's final day especially as it was such a good day .... On a slightly more positive note I have managed to track down 3 of Craigs friends who we lost contact with years ago, 1 was in Barcelona and 1 was in Bournmouth , so I am pleased with myself for that! But now I have nothing to keep my mind off of Wednesday ... My sister took me out today to buy something to wear for Wednesday, I wanted to wear the dress that I wore for dd's Christening 4 weeks ago because dh had said to me that I looked amazing in it and that it was the best dress I had ever bought! (1st compliment in 11 years), But I couldn't bring myself to wear it as it was cream. I was walking around in a daze just picking things up and went to the changing rooms when an attendant came in and said "is it for any special occassion?" I broke down and my sister explained and the lady took us over to the personal shopper room to give us some privacy and went to get everything I needed ... even tights and my perfume (dh's favourite) She even gave me a gift from the Lancombe counter because she was so shocked by what had happened and when I got home the minister had called, he said that he was so shocked and moved by me and the situation that he wanted to wave his fee for the service ..... The kindness of people never fails to amaze me! Anyway, I am going to try to get some sleep now + will try to catch up again in the morning.

OP posts:
Califrau · 04/09/2007 01:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slim22 · 04/09/2007 02:08

Deepest sympathy.

Don't know what to say........don't stay alone.Keep a fullhouse for weeks to come, even if ou must lock yourself in your room for privacy, but you you need the buzz and attention around you and so do you little ones.

I just finished reading Joan Didion's year of magical thinking about her husband's sudden death and bereavement process. cathartic.
Only time is a healer, in the meantime take care of yourself and we'll all be thinking of you.

bluebell12 · 04/09/2007 07:47

Just wanted to send more (((HUGS))) to you today, I'll be thinking of you and praying that you get the strength you need right now.

DutchOma · 04/09/2007 09:01

How are you this morning M2TaF? How are the children coping? You are still so much in my thoughts and prayers.

LilRedWG · 04/09/2007 09:05

You are in my thoughts. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

smudgermumof3 · 04/09/2007 10:10

hi mummy2, i havent been on for a while, and i dont think we ve ever spoken, i am so sorry to hear about your hubby, words can not heal your pain but i hope that you and your children are coping. I wish you all the luck in the world, so sorry, love sam xxx

Original poster
Mummy2TandF · 04/09/2007 11:20

Am having a really bad day today, people have stared to talke about finanial issues and I really don't want to think about it ... Craigs old firm went under just after Toby was born and we had to cut everything down to a bear minimum and I know that we cancelled our mortgage protection and life cover .... I know it was stupid but we just couldn't afford it and we fully intended starting a new one when we were coping financially .... you just don't expect this and now what am I going to do? So sorry for posting this but now I have sooo much running throug my mind and I didn't even want to think about that side of things until way afer the funeral tomorrow, but now I am in a blind panic. My poor dc's I want to be thinking of Craig all the time with happy thoughts (if I can) but now everyting is marred by how stupid I was to cancel everything, even though I know deep down that we wouldn't have been able to get through the last 2 years if we hadn't Sorry again for posting

OP posts:
SleeplessInTheStaceym11House · 04/09/2007 11:27

oh mummy i don't know what to say about the financial situation...hopefully someone with something more useful to say will come along soon!

thinking of you!

ManxMum · 04/09/2007 12:25

Just given my DH a big hug and shed a few tears for you.

Will think of you tomorrow and bless everyday my dh is with me.

Our next door neighbours lost their little boy a fortnight ago, suddenly in his sleep. He was just four years old.

Life is crap

Hugs and hugs to you all xx

ntsmum · 04/09/2007 12:41

I'm sitting here crying after reading about your shopping trip. Don't know what to say, but wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and will be tomorrow too.

DutchOma · 04/09/2007 14:21

I would say put all money matters out of your head for today and tomorrow, then on Thursday go to CAB and let them help you find out what there is on offer. None of this is your fault, yes it might have been better to keep the insurance going, but that's hindsight, you had to get money for food and Toby's shoes and....whatever. You HAD to. In the end you'll see that money will work out, are you alright for basics in the next week or so?
So glad to hear that your sister is helping you, hugs and blessings to you all.

LadyAnne1stTimeMum · 04/09/2007 17:19

MummytoTandF

My deepest condolances and sympathy - all I can say is I believe everything happens for a reason - just sometimes it is not always apparent what it is. You will get through it - don't worry about the legal stuff - there are people around to help - it's their job to support you. If you get the opportunity (unlikely at the moment) I suggest you contact Cruse and/or WAY (widowed and Young) who are more then happy to help, advise and support.

Also - there is a lot of love and support for you here - just remember that we are here for you and you alone.

Love to you and yours {Hugs}

LadyAnne and Taro

NAB3 · 04/09/2007 17:31

Is there no way at all you can get the photos?

So lovely about the people who helped you with the shopping and gave you a gift.

Don't know what to say, wishing you all the strength and help you need.

Califrau · 04/09/2007 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RnB · 04/09/2007 20:52

Message withdrawn

littlelapin · 04/09/2007 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BecauseImWorthIt · 04/09/2007 21:00

I, too, would be more than happy to offer any assistance - practical help (don't know where you live, sorry) or financial help.

Please let us help you.

HelloMama · 04/09/2007 21:23

Have just seen this thread
So sad for you and the DC's

I hope in time you are able to think of the wonderful memories you have of your DH and your family together and raise a smile.

In the meantime, please keep posting so we can help in any way we can, day or night.