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Original poster

Oh my god ... Help me please I don't know what to do!!!

679 replies

Mummy2TandF · 29/08/2007 09:48

my dh went fishing last night and at 11:30pm I had a knock on the door from the police .... My dh has been found dead on a footpath at the lake They think it was a massive heart attack, a stroke or a blood clot but will do a PM tomorrow, I don't know what to do, I have my family here with me but it is easier to talk on here How do I tell my dc's? WHAT do I tell my dc's - they are only 2.9 and 10 months Will they understand, what are they going to do without their daddy? How will I get through the days without my dh? I know we argued etc but I really, really, loved him and now he is gone Help please

OP posts:
kittywits · 30/08/2007 22:44

Oh Lord, I'm so sorry for you

time4me · 30/08/2007 22:45

so sorry to hear this.callmemadam that what was beautiful,I hope it helps this lady

Califrau · 30/08/2007 22:46

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Pinkchampagne · 30/08/2007 22:51

I'm so sorry, Gabble.

M2T&F - thinking of you a lot.x

anniemac · 30/08/2007 22:59

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lucykate · 30/08/2007 23:00

so sorry for your loss, , x.

and to you too gabble, x.

lilolilmanchester · 30/08/2007 23:09

Like everyone else, very sorry to hear your news. I imagine life will be a bit of a blur at the moment, make sure you look after yourself as well as your little ones. Lots of people are offering you support, please try to take it when you're ready.

Original poster
Mummy2TandF · 30/08/2007 23:28

Gabble [sad[ I am so sorry that you have had to go through this as well - it is truly horrendous isn't it, I heard from the coroner today after the pm and like you there is no reason - they said his heart was normal, no furring at all, no injuries to his head, no blood clots .... nothing, how can you die from nothing???? They have now opened an inquest which could take 6 months, in which time I am unable to register his death. but they have released dh and I have been to the funeral directors and funeral is booked for next Wednesday ... I have asked for flowers to be sent here, and our friend who owns a fishing lake is arranging a memorial for dh on Saturday 8th The owner of dh's firm also called me today to ask if I would mind if he started an annual fishing day for the company in Craig's honour and had a trophy made for the winner with Craig's name on it I found that so nice and said that Craig would like that (obviously he would have liked to win the trophy more)... I feel terrible because I have booked the funeral but have absolutky no idea how I am going to pay for it you don't plan for these things at our age Sorry for the typing but have had some wine in the hope that it will help me sleep!

OP posts:
Yorkiegirl · 30/08/2007 23:31

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Yorkiegirl · 30/08/2007 23:32

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Original poster
Mummy2TandF · 30/08/2007 23:34

Hiya,
Sorry, yes I did but this iis my first chance to get online .... I will try to call you but nobody wants to leave me on my own ATM, so it is hard to call with 10+ people in the house all day and the phone has not stopped ringing, I will try to find time to call you but I am just numb at the moment, that is the only way to describe it

OP posts:
Yorkiegirl · 30/08/2007 23:36

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saralou · 30/08/2007 23:37

hi mummy2, how awful they haven't found a reason, theirs nothing to blame.

i've been thinking of you today, i hope you manage some sleep tonight

xx

SNOWBall4girlz · 30/08/2007 23:41

so sorry to see this
have read some of your posts

I wish you strength to get through this

My thoughts are with you and your beautiful children at this sad time,
and I second the advise that has been given in that any offers of help you should take
wish I was nearer and could be of practical help.

{{hugs}}
jx

KerryMum · 30/08/2007 23:46

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onlyjoking9329 · 30/08/2007 23:56

Still thinking about you all, this is so sad.
please contact yorkiegirl i am sure she will be able to give you good advice or a listening ear.
Yorkiegirl thankyou for being around for mummy2TandF i can only guess how difficult this is for you.

Bowbelles · 31/08/2007 00:32

I am so very very sad for you Mummy. I am thinking of you and sending lots of love x

Christie · 31/08/2007 00:40

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sparklygothkat · 31/08/2007 00:57

have only just seen this I am so sorry M2T&F. You stayed up with me on both of the transplant call nights recently, I am so sorry

nappyaddict · 31/08/2007 00:59

mummytotandf if you need to talk please contact me on [email protected]

my brother died 6 years ago also apparently from nothing. they did 3 pms and he was fine. we were told he died from something like cot death.

i know you probably won't feel like it atm but if and when you do you can get a lot of support from

www.c-r-y.org.uk/

and

www.sadsuk.org/

gibberish · 31/08/2007 01:03

M2T&F and gabble. No words of wisdom but had to let you know that I will be thinking of you both. YG will be able to be of great help to you. x

throckenholt · 31/08/2007 07:59

the fishing trophy is a nice idea. My dad was also a member of a fishing club and we bought a trophy for it out of the funeral donations. We went to the first prize giving too - it was lovely but sad too.

As far as how can someone die suddenly without heart disease etc. My dad also dropped dead - we had no pm because he had a slight history of heart problems (was not being treated for anything though) - the doctor just put it down as cardiac arrest. I think maybe the brain or the heart can have something like an electrical storm - the natural beating of the heart stops so the body dies - but there is no real evidence left behind. Not sure if this is a known medical condition - but it makes sense to me.

ELF1981 · 31/08/2007 08:15

So sorry to hear about your loss Mummy2TandF.
I am thinking of your and your dear children.

My BIL's brother died two years ago, there was no reason for this death either, he was in his 30s very healthy and he just died one night. The official reason was put down as Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. It is just so unfair sometimes

ELF1981 · 31/08/2007 08:16

Oh crap, bloody emotion symbols typing, that should all have been thinking of you and your children.

schnorbitz · 31/08/2007 08:22

Oh no, I am so sorry .

Anytime you need to blow off some steam or just need a good cry we are all here to listen.

Take care of yourself and your DC's.