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Original poster

Oh my god ... Help me please I don't know what to do!!!

679 replies

Mummy2TandF · 29/08/2007 09:48

my dh went fishing last night and at 11:30pm I had a knock on the door from the police .... My dh has been found dead on a footpath at the lake They think it was a massive heart attack, a stroke or a blood clot but will do a PM tomorrow, I don't know what to do, I have my family here with me but it is easier to talk on here How do I tell my dc's? WHAT do I tell my dc's - they are only 2.9 and 10 months Will they understand, what are they going to do without their daddy? How will I get through the days without my dh? I know we argued etc but I really, really, loved him and now he is gone Help please

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummy2TandF · 30/08/2007 04:55

Thanks again everyone - my sister is now asleep, so thought I would pop on here - just going to potter round the house now + wait until the morning

OP posts:
Desperation · 30/08/2007 05:01

Hello, you're not alone here. I'm so sorry for your loss and just wnated to let you know that you're not speaking into the ether at the moment

imjin100 · 30/08/2007 05:23

hello mummy2TandF, what a nightmare you are in, so many things I'd like to say but none will ease the pain and despair you must feeling. I just hope somehow you manage to get through hour by hour. Your DH will watch over you, and help you with your angels and I'm sure you'll find just how amazing children are at coping with the most unbeearable situations. I hope you will find the strength to get through all that you will face and I truly hope you find support whenever you need it.
with hugs to you all.

Gumbo · 30/08/2007 06:09

I don't know you at all but wanted to say that I'm truly sorry to hear your dreadful news.

Gingerbear · 30/08/2007 06:47

What terrible news, I am so sorry.
Please speak to Yorkiegirl - she has left a message on this thread and will be a great help I am sure.

throckenholt · 30/08/2007 07:19

I hope you got through the night ok. The old adage of one day at a time is very true, and when that is too difficult then one hour at a time.

You are in shock - you will react in odd ways that will surprise you - you may be upset by things that you wouldn't expect to be, and cope easily with things that you think would floor you.

But you will get through this - especially if you ask for help when you need it.

WaynettaSlob · 30/08/2007 07:37

Hope you're managing to get some sleep.

If there's anything we can do let us now.

berolina · 30/08/2007 07:50

Still thinking of you. Hope you managed to sleep a little. Wishing you strength for today and hope you get some answers from the pm.

RubySlippers · 30/08/2007 07:51

hope you got through the night as best you can
don't be worried about getting some tablets from the GP to help you get some sleep - short term you will need it
i don't live too far from you - if you need anything at all, now or in the future, just CAT me - i mean it (i live about 35 mins from you)

BandofMothers · 30/08/2007 07:58

You seem to be coping really well, and seem calm and together.
I hope you got some sleep. Perhaps tonight you could try a herbal sleep tablet or something to help you.

Your ds will be okay, don't worry. Perhaps sit with him one day in a few weeks and get some pics of him together and put them in a special little photo book just for him to keep for himself.

I hope you are okay. Remember you can email me if you want.

Charlie999 · 30/08/2007 08:01

I am so sorry to hear this awful news.....thinking of you this morning.....

fawkeoff · 30/08/2007 08:03

just take things one step at a time, and dont fret too much about ds at the moment, its probably a good thing he thinks everyone is here to see him.you are in my thoughts and prayers x

FioFio · 30/08/2007 08:03

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ggglimpopo · 30/08/2007 08:14

You will get through it - I don't know how you will but you do; the days pass and your children will give you a reason to get up in the morning and put one foot after another.

Life will never be the same again but goes on somehow and the pain changes.

A friend of mine who lost his brother just before I lost Maude said that he believed that grief is like weightlifting. The weights never get lighter - in fact as time goes on they may (and did with me) get heavier - but you change and learn to carry them, to support the weight of your sorrow.

I am so sorry for the raw, dark place that you are in now. I know it so well. Please do contact me if you like.

mummyhill · 30/08/2007 08:20

Thinking about you this morning.

Please get in touch with Yorkiegirl I am sure she will be able to give you loads of good advice and support after going through her own tradgedy last year.

Try to sleep a little and eat a little to keep your strength up you will need it to deal with everything that needs doing as well as looking after your children.

As others have said don't be frightened to approach your GP for something to help with the sleeping issue.

Will keep you in my prayers.

BandofMothers · 30/08/2007 08:24

ggg, you are so brave, I have been happy to see your name on MN again.
I cannot imagine how you have got thru it, but I often think about you and hope you are doing ok

chopster · 30/08/2007 08:30

Hope you got some sleep and get some answers today. x

maman4 · 30/08/2007 08:45

Will be thinking of you today.Hope you got some rest.

littlelapin · 30/08/2007 08:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pennies · 30/08/2007 09:00

Really sorry to hear of your loss M2T&F.

Christie · 30/08/2007 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mummy2TandF · 30/08/2007 10:09

Morning - well I didn't manage to get any sleep, my sister did though, have had all the neigbours knocking this morning and the coroner has called to let me know that the pm will go ahead and the pathologist should have their report by 10:30ish and then I can get the certificate and start thinking about funeral directors etc .... I don't know where to start. I don't know wether I already posted this but I went to the lake yesterday to see where it happened and it was such a nice spot and apparently somebody was with him within about 5 mins of him collapsing, when it was already too late, but at least he wasn't on his own.

OP posts:
throckenholt · 30/08/2007 10:17

if you think of all the other ways he could die - then the way he went was as good as it can get - in a nice location doing something he enjoyed.

Once you get in touch with a funeral director they will help you make all the decisions about that.

Get in touch with yorkiegirl - she can tell you what else needs thinking about.

flowerybeanbag · 30/08/2007 10:18

M2T&F have been thinking about you ever since I saw this yesterday.
It must be a bit of a help to know your DH was not on his own, good you were able to find that out.
I don't have any practical advice about dealing with all the logistics, except hand as much of it as possible over to your sister or someone else.
continuing to think of your and your DCs.

BandofMothers · 30/08/2007 10:22

How are you feeling???
Don't be afraid to lean on your family at the moment. Take all the help you can get.
Thinking of you.
xxx

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